Wishing and Hoping

by Susan Meier

  “He didn’t ask you to speak. He asked me.” She shrugged. “I’ve done it before. It’s actually very simple. You go to a dinner, shake a lot of hands, compliment the cooks and then give about a fifteen-minute speech.” She shrugged again. “Piece of cake.”

  Drew’s eyes narrowed. “So why are you telling me?”

  “Because you have to go with me.”

  “I thought you’d handled these things before?”

  “I have, but I wasn’t married then. Daddy said to make sure you go with me.”

  Drew sighed. “So everybody sees we’re happily married.”

  “Come on, Drew. The day after we decided to do this, you dragged me into town for breakfast because you said we needed to get out among people and show everybody we were together. You can’t be upset because my dad realized the same thing.”

  “I suppose not.”

  At his reply, she smiled. “Great. This doesn’t even have to disturb what you had planned for the day. Just keep doing what you were doing and come up to the house in time to get ready. We don’t have to be at the fire hall until seven.”

  With that, she pivoted and walked out the door and Drew frowned after her. An odd sensation shifted through him. He’d expected that she’d hunted him down to make him feel guilty for their argument the night before. Instead, she’d been nothing but considerate.

  On top of that, buried in that conversation was the fact that she’d easily accepted giving her dad’s speech and he suddenly realized that was how she did everything. Easily. Accommodatingly. Without either fanfare or grumbling. Not once in this charade had Tia as much as whispered a word of discontent. Not even over having to drive six hours every Friday and Sunday night to fulfill her end of it. She hadn’t griped about driving or argued about doing something either Drew or her dad decided needed to be done.

  His frown deepened. She was such an easy person to get along with that he was beginning to feel like a real jerk for always fighting her, mistrusting her and telling her what to do.

  Tia and Drew arrived at the Calhoun Corners fire hall and Tia was immediately swallowed up in a throng of her father’s supporters.

  “We heard that your dad was sick,” George Thompson said, leading her into the center of the circle of people who had gathered to share dinner and hear a few words from her dad. Tia didn’t know if the dinner had been scheduled to assure her dad’s supporters that everything was fine with their favorite candidate, or to assure Ben that his supporters still believed in him. But whatever the reason, Tia recognized it was her job to make sure everybody left this fire hall totally convinced her dad was strong enough to continue being mayor.

  “Is your dad okay?” Mary Zupan asked.

  Tia laughed lightly. “He’s fine. He has a touch of the flu. That’s all.”

  “I was worried that the editorials were finally getting to him,” Tom Grattan, a tall, thin man in his late sixties said. “At our age, a body can’t manage that much stress.”

  “Those editorials aren’t affecting Ben,” Drew said before Tia could speak. “He knows Fegan’s just trying to rattle his cage, but he’s not letting him.”

  Drew jumped into Tia’s role as the one reassuring everybody that her dad was fine. But he was doing such a good job that Tia decided there was no reason to interrupt him. He was the one person in this town Tia knew beyond a shadow of a doubt believed in her dad. There was no one better to sing his praises.

  “Ben’s heart attack last year might have thrown him for a loop,” Drew continued, “but he handled it. Sure, he takes medicine, but the mayor’s job isn’t that difficult as long as we keep the town small and safe, the way we all want it to be.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Tom Grattan said, lifting his glass in salute.

  As the crowd that had gathered around Tia laughed, Tia glanced at Drew and smiled. He smiled back and something inside Tia melted. He wasn’t just a good-looking man. He wasn’t just somebody to whom she was attracted. He wasn’t even her Prince Charming. He was the most honest, loyal man she had ever met.

  This was why she loved him, Tia thought, for the first time letting herself admit she really did love him. He had the courage of his convictions. If he committed to someone, he committed for life. Which was probably why his broken relationship had crushed him. He gave everything he had and expected everything in return. But he’d never gotten it.

  It was no wonder he couldn’t trust.

  “It doesn’t hurt that there was no editorial this week,” Julie Jenkins said, interrupting Tia’s thoughts.

  She glanced at Julie, a forty-something housewife who loved to dabble in local politics.

  “There was no editorial?” Tia asked, her gaze wandering back to catch Drew’s. He shook his head slightly, telling her nothing had appeared in the paper that week, and she returned her gaze to Julie.

  “No,” Julie said. “It was the strangest thing. We were all geared up for something, because Rayne hadn’t been around all week.” She paused to grimace. “When Rayne’s away, we know it’s because she’s out of town investigating something.”

  “What do you think she was investigating?” Tia asked, but Drew pushed his way through the crowd and caught Tia’s arm.

  “Who knows with Rayne?” he said, smiling at the people around her. “Let’s forget about her tonight. I’m just glad there was no editorial.”

  Everyone in the circle around Tia laughed, but knowing Drew didn’t do anything without a reason, Tia recognized that for Drew to get the subject dropped so quickly, something had happened with Rayne.

  Drew said, “I hate to remind you all that most of us have to get up at the crack of dawn, but we do. So, what do you say we get this dinner moving?”

  The cooks and servers scrambled back into the kitchen as the rally-goers found seats. Drew led Tia to the main table.

  “Got your speech all ready?”

  “Yeah.” This wasn’t the time or place to ask what he knew about Rayne. She wasn’t sure he would tell her, anyway. But if she needed to use persuasion, it was better to do it in private. “I got the speech ready, though I don’t think I’ll need it. It sounds like you have everything under control.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  That was another reason she loved him. He took care of the people he felt were his responsibility. She couldn’t think of another man who would have gone as far as Drew had for a mentor and friend. Drew hadn’t batted an eye at marrying her to protect her father from additional stress when he already had enough.

  “Yes. You do.”

  “Okay, then. Eat fast, give that speech and let’s get the heck home. I’m tired.”

  Tia took the seat that would have been her father’s and spent most of the dinner chatting with the people at the main table. But she continued thinking about Drew. When he’d stopped the conversation about Rayne and the editorials, it was obvious he had been protecting her, if only from questions she couldn’t answer. She had also suspected he only withdrew from her when he felt they were getting too close. Which meant that maybe the emotions she was feeling weren’t one-sided. Maybe he was coming to like her as much as she was beginning to like him.

  Unfortunately, Tia recognized that if she believed that, then she also had to admit that his need to withdraw was a clear sign that though he might like her, he didn’t trust her.

  And after everything they’d been through, that made her angry. She was as loyal and trustworthy as he was. Maybe more so. If he loved her as passionately and as loyally as he’d loved his ex-wife, she would love him with every fiber of her being. They would be the happiest two people on the face of the earth.

  But he didn’t love her. Otherwise, he wouldn’t keep pulling back. Or would he? It wasn’t like they’d really been in a relationship since May, as they’d been pretending. They’d only spent two weekends together. Even a friendship between them was a new idea for Drew. She’d been mooning over him, pining for him, fantasizing about him since she was fourteen, but he hadn�
�t even noticed she’d grown up until a few weeks ago. She supposed he had a right to need a little more time than she did to fall in love.

  But if he would give her a sign, one solid indicator that his feelings for her could get beyond friendship, she wouldn’t hesitate to take their relationship to the next level, because she had no doubt that if they slept together again, she could convince him to try this marriage for real, and if they tried this marriage for real, it would never end.

  She wouldn’t let it end.

  After dinner, Tia gave the speech her father had written, letting everyone know she was saying everything her father would have said, then she shook a few more hands before she and Drew climbed into his Mercedes and headed back to his farm.

  Sitting behind the wheel, lost in thought, Drew seemed to be ignoring her, making her wonder if she’d only imagined that his feelings for her were improving. She also hadn’t forgotten that he apparently didn’t trust her enough to share the information he had about Rayne and the editorials.

  Since asking him about it was as good a way as any to break the oppressive quiet in the car, Tia said, “Something tells me you know more about the editorial situation than you let on.”

  Drew said nothing. Keeping his eyes focused on the road in front of them, he didn’t even acknowledge that she’d spoken.

  Tia smiled ruefully. “I always know when you’re hiding something because you pretend you’re not.”

  He peeked at her. “Huh?”

  “You have this way about you when you know something that you think needs to stay a secret. You don’t exactly play dumb. It’s more like you downplay the situation. You did it with us. You did it with the pregnancy. Tonight, you did it with the editorials and dragging me away from the crowd before anybody could say too much about the fact that there was no editorial this week.” She paused only a second before she added, “So, what do you know?”

  He took a breath, then another. As if debating telling her. Tia nearly prodded him. She could easily give him the big reasons why she deserved to know everything he did. They were partners, and they were in this charade for her dad. So she had a right to know what he knew.

  Instead, she stayed quiet because she saw an unexpected potential in his hesitation. If he could trust her with something not related to their relationship, then it would open the door for him to trust her about more personal things. But he had to take the step himself.

  Finally he said, “I overheard Mark Fegan talking with somebody last week.”

  Overwhelmed with relief that he’d decided to trust her, Tia nonetheless tried to sound casual as she asked, “About my dad?”

  “And other things.”

  “What other things?”

  Drew stayed quiet for a few seconds, but eventually he blew his breath out in a long sigh and said, “From what I could gather, Mark owes the wrong people some money. He apparently made a deal that if they forgave his debt, he would get Auggie Malloy elected.”

  “Somebody wants to bring in an industrial development,” Tia said dully. Politics in Calhoun Corners always came down to one simple issue. Whether or not to rezone certain lands. “And they need zoning ordinances changed.”

  “That’s what it seems.”

  Tia pondered that for a second, then said, “What does that have to do with there not being an editorial last week?”

  He glanced over at her. “I’m guessing last week’s target editorial didn’t pan out.”

  “What was he targeting?”

  “It wasn’t a what. It was a who.”

  “Okay then, who was he targeting?”

  Again Drew hesitated, but again he seemed to decide to trust her. “You.”

  Tia gasped. “Me?”

  “The guy with Mark knew you were on the verge of being fired. He told Mark to look in that direction. Mark said he couldn’t make a connection between you getting fired and your dad’s campaign, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t try. His goal here isn’t to make voters think less of your dad, but to stress your dad enough that he’ll bow out of the election. I’m sure if Mark knew what was going on, he would have printed it, hoping it would rattle your dad.”

  She inhaled a quick breath. “That’s why you coached me about what to do last week.”

  Turning his car into the lane for his farm, Drew nodded.

  Tia said nothing as he parked the car in his garage and came around to her door to help her out. She didn’t know whether to be furious that Drew had manipulated her when he’d coached her without telling her why, or happy that tonight he had trusted her enough to tell her not just the easy parts of his story, but all of it.

  When they entered the kitchen, Drew turned on the overhead light. “Want a snack?”

  She shook her head. “It’s late.”

  “Yeah. I’m beat. Let’s just go to bed.”

  Tia led the way to the bedroom and this time didn’t hesitate at the door. Walking up the stairs she had realized there was actually a third part to the situation with Drew. He hadn’t merely trusted her with the information, he’d trusted her not to get angry when he admitted he’d poked his nose in her business without fully disclosing why.

  If she made a big deal out of that, she’d break the very thin thread of trust he had that she could accept what he’d done without getting angry, and he’d pull back again.

  So she couldn’t be angry. She had to accept that last week he didn’t trust her, but this week he did. And wasn’t that what a relationship was all about? Steps.

  Technically, tonight he’d taken a huge step. A leap of faith. She’d be a fool to destroy that.

  Drew yanked off his tie the second they stepped into the bedroom. Totally unconcerned that she was in the room, he unbuttoned his shirt. Deciding to take her cue from him, and also knowing that this was more proof they were growing closer, Tia slipped out of her dress.

  “You looked pretty tonight.”

  Standing by the bed in her slip, Tia turned and smiled. A compliment from him was new, too. Another step, maybe? “Thanks.”

  “Blue is a really good color for you.”

  “Blue is a really good color for anybody with blue eyes,” Tia said with a laugh. She headed into the bathroom, deciding not to make an issue out of his attention or their various states of undress. If she was reading this situation correctly, Drew seemed to be taking steps by leaps and bounds tonight and if she let him alone, nature would probably take over.

  She swallowed, remembering the last time they had let nature take over. The night they had met at the party in Pittsburgh, they had operated on nothing but instinct, and it had been glorious. And maybe that was exactly what they needed. To get back to basics. To instinct. To what had drawn them together in the first place.

  She finished her bedtime routine quickly, slid into her pajamas and entered the bedroom at the same time Drew was coming in from his trek across the hall to use one of the other bathrooms.

  She slid into bed on the left side.

  He slid in on the right.

  She drew in a long breath, but Drew was so still Tia wondered if he was even breathing at all.

  “Drew?”

  “Yeah?”

  It seemed a shame that their forward progress had stopped. But Tia couldn’t seem to think of anything to say to jump-start Mother Nature. When she tried, her mouth grew dry. Her palms grew sweaty. She couldn’t even speak, let alone flirt, let alone try to initiate a conversation that might lead to cuddling or kissing or doing the things she wanted so desperately to do with him.

  She pulled in another long breath, but she still couldn’t think of anything. Since nothing was coming naturally to her, she wondered if maybe he wasn’t the one who was supposed to make the next move. But when a full minute went by without him saying or doing anything, Tia knew the chance had passed.

  Stifling a sigh, she whispered, “Good night.”

  For a beat of time, Tia was convinced he wasn’t going to say anything. Then he softly said, “Good night,”
rolled over and clung to the edge of the mattress the way he had the night before.

  And that was when she knew that if she was going to have a fighting chance of keeping this marriage, she would have to seduce him.

  The tickling of sensuous satin against Drew’s nose awakened him. He brushed it away, but the pleasure of touching something so smooth tempted his fingers and they paused long enough to sample the silken delight.

  But just as he realized it was hair, not satin, enticing him to savor and fondle, he felt the perfect round bottom of his wife nestled against him. That was when he realized he was aroused to the point that if he didn’t soon get out of this bed, he wasn’t going to get out without doing what his body wanted to do.

  He slid a few inches away from her, but Tia shifted in her sleep, positioning herself up against him again. The cotton of her soft boxer shorts cruised against his already super-sensitive skin, and his nerves tingled as his body tightened.

  “Don’t I even get a good-morning kiss?”

  Her voice sounded sleepy and sexy, a purr that resonated through Drew. Right now his entire body was screaming for a kiss. But he knew as well as she probably did that they wouldn’t stop with a kiss. He also knew that if they did what they both wanted to do, their lives would get a whole heck of a lot more complicated.

  She stretched seductively against him. “One kiss?”

  He fought not to squeeze his eyes shut in frustration. She’d see it as the sign of weakness that it was. And he could not be weak. He had to be strong.

  Apparently tired of waiting for an answer, she twisted around to face him, stretched forward and touched her lips to his. Sensation sang through him. Need and emotion melded into the same thing. Realizing he was drowning, Drew quickly pulled away.

  But she smiled up at him. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” he whispered, his voice husky with need. He had to get the hell out of this bed, and right now. Unfortunately, he could not seem to get any part of his body to agree with his brain.

  “Can I get a hug now? Maybe a cuddle? Just for a minute?”

  Drew’s breath froze in his chest. The kiss was one thing. A cuddle would be quite another. Though it might seem less sexual, it was actually a sign of emotion, affection. And that was the last thing they needed right now. “No.”