Silence fell over the room. Kelly wondered what the children thought. Was it the silence of a lynch mob right before they fell on their victim, or were they following the ten second rule again?
“What does this have to do with my mother?” Lisa asked.
Murmuring went around the table. Karen kicked Kelly in the leg.
“Well, nothing,” Steve said uncertainly.
“Then why are you leaving her, and what’s Lee doing here?”
“Fuckin’ A!” Ken said.
Kelly put her head in her hands with her eyes closed. She’d smelled alcohol on Ken, but prayed it was her imagination. He must have stopped off after work for a few.
“I love Lee,” Steve said softly. “Your mom suspected it, and I faced up to it.”
“That’s bullshit,” Ken said.
“I agree,” Alice said. “Out of nowhere, after four days, you’re leaving our mother and, ostensibly, us for Lee. Is that what I’m hearing?”
“I’m not sure what that means, but I want to be with Lee, yes. I don’t want to leave you. I want you all to get to know Titan and Lee. It’ll be different, but I’m hopeful you’ll agree that we need to move on with our lives and do what makes each of us happy.”
“Well, how about if I blow your head off? Because that would make me happy right about now,” Ken said, putting up an imaginary gun and sighting it, right between Steve’s eyes.
Alice slapped his hands down, shushing him.
“Stop!” Kelly said. “Family council rules.”
“I’m getting too old for family council,” Ken said. “And right now I’m definitely too drunk.”
“Me too,” Lisa said. “I’m getting too old to sit back and listen to my father talk about fucking up our lives.”
“Nasty mouth,” Lee said through pursed lips, shaking her head.
“Don’t you dare admonish my daughter in my house, Lee Baker,” Kelly shouted, her voice shrill. “It might be time for you to leave.”
“Yeah,” Ken said, slurring the word into three syllables.
“Why are you even here?” Ben said, directing the question to Steve. “If you had any respect for our mother, you’d have come alone. Instead, you bring Lee, and that pretty much ensures that we aren’t going to tell you how we really feel.”
“Yeah,” Ken said. “I want to tell you what a fuckup you are, but I sure as hell can’t say it in front of a stranger.”
His siblings shook their heads and frowned at one another, but no one told him to stop.
“Pipe down, Ken,” Kelly warned.
“Listen how you speak to your own father,” Lee said, haughtily. “No wonder he wants to go away.”
Alice popped up out of her chair. “I don’t care if Lee’s here or not. Dad, you have a lot of nerve. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. Who’s going to walk me down the aisle now? What about Lisa?”
Steve’s face screwed up in a grimace. Kelly could tell by the look that there was a smart-ass comment about to spew forth, something horrible about Alice being gay, and just as she was about to pounce on him so he’d shut up, Karen took care of it for her.
“Don’t you say a word to her if you value your life.”
Kelly wondered how much more of the bashing Steve would stand for. His children always tiptoed around him, careful not to do or say anything that would make him angry. This kind of confrontation was over the top for her family.
“I don’t have anything like that in my family,” Steve said, ignoring Karen and referring to Alice’s sexuality. Everyone groaned.
“Steve, please be quiet,” Kelly said.
“Why should I?” he asked as he stood up, pulling Lee along with him. “I didn’t know lesbians walked down the aisle. I was just wondering how they decide which one does it.”
Alice screamed and lunged at him, but Karen caught her in time.
“I hate you,” she yelled. “You are the cruelest father. Get out!”
Lisa stared crying, Ben comforting her. Augie followed Steve to the door to try to talk sense to him. Ken put his head back and closed his eyes, and Reggie came up to Kelly who was looking for a reason to run away.
“Mom, is there any more cake?” he whispered.
She took his plate and went into the kitchen to cut him another piece.
“Come with me,” she said. “I feel like I should go make it all better for Dad.”
“I do, too, sort of. His mistake was bringing Miss Saigon with him.”
“Reggie, knock it off,” she said.
“Sorry. Can you put some ice cream on there for me?”
The babbling got louder and the real fight started. Kelly couldn’t understand why Steve wasn’t leaving. It was almost like he wanted the chaos. She went to the dining room again, standing off to the side so she wasn’t in view, and watched. Steve was trying to placate his daughters.
An apology made to Alice, who told him that she was sick of his tricks, was not accepted.
“You say what you want about me, and then say you’re sorry,” Alice cried. “I’m not taking it from you any longer.”
The words manipulative, abusive, and disrespectful brandished about; the children let him have it but good. Lee was looking around the place, and Kelly wondered if she was admiring it or calculating what she’d tell Steve to take. Steve would take what she gave him and nothing else. When the time came to distribute her treasures, the kids would be invited in first, and she hoped they’d swarm through like locusts.
After five minutes of the gang-up, Kelly stepped in.
“Okay, everyone, come back to the table and let Dad leave now.”
Lisa was sobbing, hiccupping and blowing her nose. Steve had his hands on her shoulders, talking softly to her while Lee looked on.
“We need to get Ken into a twelve-step program,” Ben whispered to Kelly.
“I know. Look into it for me, will you?”
She realized they all needed it, from workaholic, obsessive-compulsive Augie and Ben, to overeaters Lisa and Reggie. Alice was the only one who had seemed to escape substance-abuse issues.
“I mean look into it for me. I need it. I am wondering why on earth I stayed with a man for almost a half century who was clearly in love with another woman.”
“Oh Mother, are you serious?”
She nodded her head, willing herself not to start crying.
“Sorry, Benny. Dead serious. I know, too much information. I don’t want to hurt you kids.”
“I keep thinking he’s going to snap out of it,” Ben said. “Like maybe it’s some kind of mid-life thing.”
“He’s way past midlife, Ben. And besides, he’s already had that. Another marital secret, I’m afraid,” she said softly. Ben looked her in the eyes.
“Really, Mom?” She nodded her head.
“Really. But I don’t think I should go there with you. It’s not appropriate, and I don’t want you to feel any more animosity toward Dad. There is a possibility we can all come together as one big happy family someday. Maybe I should have said that during dinner.”
“You did, sort of. Is that what you want?” Ben asked doubtfully.
“No, not really. Not yet, anyway. I keep thinking about Titan. This is supposed to be about him, but he probably can’t even imagine what’s going on here.”
Ben took that information, letting it percolate in his head.
“Come on, everyone, come back and sit down,” Kelly repeated.
Slowly they started filing back into the dining room. Steve and Lee returned to sit down, too, everyone in disbelief. Why the hell didn’t they leave? Kelly was flabbergasted at how nervy he was, but no one was telling him to leave, so she kept quiet.
“I’m making coffee,” she said.
Alice and Karen came into the kitchen to help her. They got the mugs and cream and sugar.
“Anyone want more cake?”
The boys wanted more, and Lee asked for a piece as well.
“Watch. Lee will criticize the cake,”
Karen whispered.
“Why do you say that?” Kelly asked.
“Just wait.”
Sure enough after one bite, Lee spoke up.
“I add extra egg and oil to all my cake and they turn out nice and moist.”
She made a little grimace as she swallowed the cake, like it was difficult to get the lump of sawdust down.
“This is a store-bought cake, Lee,” Kelly replied. “I worked today, so there was no time for baking.”
“And it’s just delicious,” Alice said.
“Really good,” Lisa added.
The kids went around the table, extolling the virtues of the store bought-cake. Kelly let them do it, appreciating their support and their need to support her and realizing the rubber-band effect might soon come into play. They would bend over backward in defense and support of Steve. She waited until it appeared that they were done with their coffee and cake and there was a lull in the conversation.
“You know, I’ve had enough for one day. Steve, it’s time for you and Lee to go. Thank you for stopping by. I’m sure the children are grateful to have heard your apologies.”
He quickly stood up, picking up his plate.
“You can leave that,” Kelly said. “We’ll clean up later.”
Steve pulled Lee’s chair out, and she paused for a moment, a determined look on her face, and Kelly was afraid she’d blow her mouth off again. She must have thought better of it because she turned away and they left.
No one said anything for a moment. Lisa got up and took Steve’s and Lee’s dishes into the kitchen. Kelly could hear the water running and the top come off the detergent and the snap of the brush Kelly used to clean out cups and glasses.
“Mother, I’m amazed at how calm you are,” Reggie said. “Kudos to our mother.”
He raised his coffee cup and the others did the same.
“A toast to our classy mother,” Augie said.
Kelly grinned, but her heart was sad. She’d never wanted to make her children feel insecure, and she thought that even though they were grown up, they might be feeling it now.
“Hear, hear!”
They drank a sip of coffee in her honor, chattering to each other and talking about the night with their father and Lee. Kelly watched her brood and smiled. This was something that she lived for, that Steve could not tarnish with his disrespect.
Karen was the first to push back her chair. “Believe it or not, it’s eight o’clock already. I need to walk Roger and feed him before it gets too late.”
The scraping of chairs on the floor could be heard and the banging of cutlery on china. They’d all pitch in and there’d be nothing for their mother to do when they left. Nothing to do but sit alone and feel like the biggest failure on earth.
***
Steve opened the door of his pickup for Lee. “What kind of car does Kelly Boyd drive?” she asked, knowing the answer, but wanting to make a point with him, grimacing at the squeaky door. “This truck.”
Steve hesitated. He’d never been ashamed of his truck. It was an older model, but it was paid for, and he used it for his hunting and fishing trips. He was thinking of getting a camper cab for the back of it so he could go on longer trips and not stay in a hotel, which seemed contradictory to him. He knew other hunters did it but he didn’t like to. When he hunted, he liked to camp.
“Why? You ashamed of my old truck?” he said, teasing her.
“I saw her car the other day when I thought she was a maid,” she said with derision and a sneer. “It’s a Mercedes. How is it you drive a dirty old truck and your wife has a nice car?”
“Her father died and left it to her,” Steve said.
It was a private piece of information, that old man Dailey had left his daughters well fixed.
“He was rich, then?” Lee asked, a note of eagerness in her voice that Steve didn’t miss.
Steve glanced over at her. Was she that obvious?
“We won’t get any of it, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he said.
“No, no, I was just curious. But why won’t you get any of it, Stevie? Don’t you have to split everything?”
“Not her inheritance, and even if it was legal, I wouldn’t do that to Kelly. This is not her fault,” Steve said.
Taking Lee’s hand, he kissed it. They hadn’t slept together in over forty years, but he thought they would do it that night. His libido had been nonexistent until he’d laid eyes on Lee again. At one time a few years before, Kelly had approached him about having his testosterone blood level checked, but he refused. He just didn’t have any desire for Kelly, although he wisely kept that to himself. Since Lee came back into his life, he felt like a man again. Something about her made him feel like the wisest, smartest, strongest man on earth.
“I’m staying with you tonight, okay?”
Lee smiled and giggled, the car forgotten.
“Okay, Stevie.”
He didn’t look up as he pulled out of the driveway, not thinking once of his family there behind the closed curtains.
Chapter 5
Out of all the children, Augie would take Steve’s betrayal the hardest. The oldest child, he was the superman of the family, and had the most to live up to, his mother’s dreams and hopes centered on him. He’d married Sandy because she was the closest match he could find for his mother and Kelly seemed to like her so much. Sandy was attractive, hardworking, patient and tolerant, but like Kelly, she was also a little Pollyannaish. Refusing to see the negative in any situation, often even in the midst of upheaval, Sandy failed to accept the shortcomings of another.
Leaving his parents’ house after the fiasco of a dinner party, Augie was afraid to go home. The house he shared with Sandy was a perfect replica of the home where he grew up. Kelly had helped Sandy decorate, and they often shopped together, so from time to time he wondered if he was in his own house or had returned to his family of origin.
After Steve’s stupidity with the texting unleashed the truth about his son Titan, Augie saw his position in the family deteriorate. He was Kelly’s firstborn, but Lee’s was Titan. And Steve loved Lee. Augie thought it was interesting that he’d known all along that his father didn’t love Kelly like a man should love a woman. As a child, Augie knew that his father was biding his time.
His goal had been to make his father proud, working himself sick as a kid trying to be the best he could be. It was never enough. It was never enough because Steve was jealous, jealous of his own son. Augie didn’t realize it until he was in his teens. Begging his father to come to his sporting events, Augie believed every excuse Steve gave at first. But eventually, the boy would see the transparency. Steve wasn’t clever enough to keep his feelings under wraps or to deal with them. The snide remarks, the unreasonable expectations - it was jealousy.
Augie went to Kelly about it, and sadly, she concurred. “You may be right, and I’m so sorry.”
What more could she say? She tried to protect her children from their father, from his demeaning commentary and negligence. Since Augie was the oldest, he figured it out first. His gentle nature didn’t allow him to turn on his father or bad mouth him to the other children. That would be Ken’s job. And the sad thing about it was that they would cheer Ken on, make him the spokesperson, and it had detrimental consequences for him.
Sandy had the house decorated for Halloween, and all the lights on for Augie tonight. When he pulled into the driveway, the childish display angered him. It was a waste of time and money. After all he’d been through that evening, he couldn’t share it with Sandy because she’d have some inane comment about the goodness of people or how he should forgive Steve and embrace Lee and Titan. And he wanted to kill Lee and Titan.
Sitting in the car for a while, he tried to reason with himself. But it wasn’t working, and he fought the urge to run. Sandy looked out the window, probably wondering why he wasn’t coming in. He mumbled under his breath, “Don’t come out here,” willing her to stay inside. So of course, the door opene
d, and she ran out to the car. The door was locked, and rather than wait for him to open it, she tapped on the window. Looking up at her, frowning, for no reason other than he was at the end of himself, he couldn’t talk to her. So he started the car up again and shooed her away with his hand. The gesture startled her, her eyes wide and wet, her mouth open, Backing up, he rolled down the driveway away from her.
***
Ben walked Lisa home. She was furious with their father and angry that she might be expected to embrace Titan. “I don’t feel a thing for him. Not one iota of feeling.” She looked at Ben. “Do you?”
“I’m more curious than anything, but if he’s a good guy, I don’t see why I wouldn’t want to get to know him. He’s a doctor, so he’s not dumb. Unlike his mother, and that’s just for your ears.”
“You aren’t kidding. What a dingbat,” Lisa said. “How could my father and that dumb woman have a son smart enough to be a doctor? It doesn’t jive.
“I’m just in shock over the whole thing. Mother was putting on a good front. Did you see her talking to Kenny? I don’t know why, but Ken is the one of us who she can be herself with completely. She’s very upset and doesn’t want to influence the decisions we make about Titan.
“Anyway, doctors can be assholes, trust me. Just because a man can pass a test doesn’t make him a good guy. He might be a serial killer.”
“I don’t think so,” Ben said. “Evidently his wife is almost bedridden, and he is taking care of her and working full-time.”
“Oh, I guess I missed that part. I’m sorry for him, but that’s no reason for our father to break up a marriage.”
“Okay, I’m going to tell you something Mom told me in confidence tonight,” Ben said. “But you have to promise me you won’t repeat it or let Mom know I told you.”
Lisa grabbed his hand. “What is it? Ben, you’re scaring me,” she said, panicked.
“Dad had an affair ten years ago.”
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