This Is Me, Baby (War & Peace #5)

by K. Webster

  He shakes his head. “Nope.”

  I’m about to say something else when my door cracks open. Daddy’s watchful eyes find me. I wonder if he ever regrets leaving me. We haven’t even spoken about it. Simply gone through the motions.

  “I need to go,” I tell Ren.

  “I guess I need to as well. Calder isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Those couches will probably end up in his room,” he complains and stretches his arm forward to end the call. His shirt slides up his arm and reveals some black from a new tattoo hiding beneath.

  “New tat?”

  “Yeah. It’s still in progress.”

  “Can I see?”

  He gives me a half smile that warms me and nods. Then, he grabs the bottom of his black T-shirt, peeling it off his body and up over his head. The first thing I notice on the gritty Skype image is how big he’s gotten. When we were lovers for that brief stint, he was built but lean. Now, he’s massive. Every surface of his chest is hardened and defined. His tribal wave tattoo has been added to and covers the entire upper half of his chest, whereas before it was small and only covered his pectoral muscle.

  But what has me curious are what appears to be black tendrils or something creeping around his rib cage and collar bone. Like some creature is behind him and is about to drag him away. It’s spooky but looks good on him.

  “It’s a back tattoo. I’m still having it worked on,” he tells me as he turns.

  When his back comes into view, I lean forward to get a better look. Even with the pixilation from our spotty connection, I can tell it’s really well done. From the base of his skull to nearly his ass is a giant tree. No leaves. Just gnarly branches and roots that seem to reach around the sides of his body toward the front.

  “Wow…”

  He lets me stare at it for a few minutes. From behind, he hardly looks like Ren anymore. His shoulders are broader, his neck a little thicker, and his back is rippled with newly defined muscles.

  “Do you just work out all the time? To hell with school,” I tease. Or at least it’s meant to come out in a teasing way. But lately, I’m not me and as soon as the words leave my mouth I realize they seem more condescending and borderline rude.

  He turns back around and glares. I’m not used to his hardened gazes. A shiver ripples through me.

  “I’m only taking a couple of classes this semester. I needed a break. Both are online courses. So, yeah,” he grunts. “I’ve been using my extra time to lift.”

  I chew on my bottom lip as I stare at him. “Will you be on later?”

  He grabs his T-shirt and starts to put it back on. “I’ll find you, Brie.” His head pops back through the shirt and his steely blue eyes are on mine. They make promises I don’t understand. Promises I don’t want to understand. His words, although simple, are thick with double meaning.

  “Right,” I say with a slight shake of my head. “Talk later.”

  Quickly, I mash the button to end our call. When I look back up, Daddy is still in the cracked doorway.

  “Come in,” I groan. I’m not in the mood for him to try and talk to me. I’m not in the mood to eat. I’m not in the mood for anything.

  He pushes through the door and strolls in as if this is his house. Walking past the bed, he makes his way over to the window. With his back to me, he speaks in a gruff tone. “Are we going to talk about what happened?”

  A shiver trembles through me. “You saw what happened. You were there,” I bite out.

  He looks at me over his shoulder, his brown eyes narrowed. “Not that, Brie baby. Us. How I left you.”

  Pain stabs at me from the inside out and I have to break our gaze. I look down at my hands to keep from crying. “I didn’t understand why you left me. I still don’t understand. It hurt so bad, Daddy.”

  His footsteps near, but I still don’t look back at him. He moves the laptop and then sits beside me. I don’t fight him when he takes my hand. Truth be told, I miss my dad’s comfort. I miss how close we were. Mom was always working so it was me and him. Always.

  “I thought I was doing the right thing. When I left you, I never meant for anything to happen to your mother. And then…” he trails off, his voice hoarse.

  “Hannah cut open Mom’s throat,” I remind him, my tone bitter.

  He squeezes my hand. “I didn’t know she’d done that. I swear I would never have left you to find such a terrible scene. But then, it wasn’t safe to come back home. I was a wanted man. I mean, I’ve always been a wanted man, but the spotlight was back on me. They’d have taken me to prison the moment I came for you.”

  The thought of Daddy in prison saddens me. I remember being a little girl and him warning me. How he said that if he ever got taken away, that he’d always loved me. That it was never a lie. Our love was real. I’d never understood it at the time. But after Mom died, his real story was all over the news. The terrible things he’d done in the past. The people he’d killed.

  It should have made me afraid of him but it never did. The dad I knew wasn’t like that. At least not with me. And when he’d eliminated Heath, all I wished for was that he’d done it sooner.

  “Heath Berkley imprisoned me. I was his little pawn,” I choke out.

  I can sense his rage from beside me. It’s like a wave of hate clouding the air around us. It doesn’t suffocate and destroy me. Instead, it warms me. I breathe it in and hold on to it.

  “War was supposed to make sure you were safe. I swear, baby, I kept tabs on you. A few times, I even snuck into that fucker’s parties just to get a glimpse of you. Each time, you looked so…”

  He must have seen me hanging out with Oscar and Vee. When I was with them, I was happy.

  “Ren looked after me,” I tell him and finally meet his gaze.

  Daddy’s eyes are bloodshot and his brows are furled together. His beard has thickened since we’ve been here. “He didn’t do a very good job,” he utters under his breath.

  I feel oddly defensive over Ren. Sure, he wasn’t protective like Daddy or even Duvan. And when his secret came out, I was crushed. But Ren was always there for me. He loved me when not many people did. He made me laugh. He made me feel. He gave me hope in an otherwise hopeless environment.

  “You don’t know anything about him,” I tell him firmly. “How did you know to come find me, anyway? Why didn’t you come sooner?” I want to scream at him and say, “Had you been there five minutes earlier, I would still have my husband.” But I don’t. I bite back the nasty words.

  “Ren,” he admits with a huff. “He spilled the beans about Heath and that he’d forced you to marry. That he was involved with the Colombian cartel. That he was a motherfucking dragon, and I’d willing left you there. He told me the ways he would touch you. How he’d hit you. All I saw was red. I’d sat by thinking you were happy. That you would go off to school and get a degree, like your mom. That you’d do great things in your life without my toxic decisions affecting you any longer. But it wasn’t that way. You were nothing but a goddamned prisoner primed to marry into another bad family.”

  I shake my head. “Duvan was a good husband. Don’t speak badly of him. And Oscar is my friend. The only bad person in this family is Esteban.”

  He scratches his beard before pinning me with a heartbroken look. “Luciana told me what that scum did to you.” His palm finds my cheek and he strokes it. Fire blazes in his eyes as he spits out the words. “I promise you, Brie baby. I will find him and I will make him pay. It won’t be a simple shot to the head either. I will torture him. Drain him of all his blood—one drop at a time. He’ll suffer because he made you suffer. He’ll hurt because he made you hurt. He’ll die and you will live. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make sure he dies under my watch.”

  My heart flutters at his words. Esteban may not have killed my husband, but at one time, he killed my spirit. He’d made me hate myself. I want him dead. “Thank you.”

  Surprise flickers in his eyes but he schools the look away. “Baby, I nee
d you to know that I’m never leaving you again. I know we’ll never have a traditional family—and quite frankly, Hannah is difficult—but I’m going to find a way to make it work. We’ll find a way to live together. Toto will love you. She’s so beautiful and funny. You’ll really like your sister.”

  An ache presents itself in my chest. I shake my head at him. “I’m not going to live with you. I am eighteen now and a widow. I’ve been imprisoned for far too long. I won’t be locked away again.”

  Hurt flashes in his eyes. “But how will you live? Where will you live? Here?”

  Reaching over to the stack of papers, I hand them to him. “All of this is mine. And this,” I point at the address of the manufacturing plant, “is my business. At least my part of it.”

  His eyes widen. “You can’t be serious. You’re not going to be some cartel queen, Brie. I won’t fucking allow it.”

  Gritting my teeth, I snatch the papers from him. “You don’t have a say in the matter. Besides, I’m not going to run it. I’m going to sell it. That’s where I’ll need your help. I’m afraid these people are dangerous.”

  His gaze softens and a smile plays at his lips. “You look just like your momma. Alejandra had the same fire in her eyes when she was passionate about something. Beautiful. You’ve blossomed into an amazing woman. She would have been so proud of you. I certainly as fuck am. You’ve been dealt some bullshit and yet here you are. Alive. Fire blazing in your eyes. Fierce.” He drags my wrist over to him and his thumb swipes over the heart with Duvan’s name in it. “The tiger stripes are fitting. Anyone who fucks with you will meet the claws.”

  My heart patters and a genuine smile tugs at my lips. It’s been so long since I actually laughed or truly grinned. Daddy always had that way of being able to cheer me up no matter what.

  “I missed you,” I admit, my throat tight with emotion.

  He tugs my wrist until I’m flush against him. My dad always smelled so good. Safe and loving. A scent I couldn’t seem to recall when I was living with the Berkleys but I missed it so badly. Now, I inhale it and hope to never lose it again.

  “Brie baby,” he whispers against my hair before kissing my head. “I’m not ever going anywhere again. I’ll always be there for you if you need me. All you have to do is say the words. I’ll slaughter anyone in my path to make sure I get to you.”

  I hug his middle. Tears roll out, but this time they are ones of relief. I don’t feel so alone with my dad here to help me fight my war. His vow can be felt all the way into my soul. He won’t leave me again. We’re in this together.

  “These Colombians won’t know what hit ‘em,” he says with a chuckle. “Mickey and Sylvia are on the warpath.”

  I crack a smile. “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”

  He pats my back. “Damn straight.”

  “Daddy,” I murmur and look up at him. “I’m pregnant.”

  His smile falls from his face, and for the first time ever, a look of distress passes over my father’s fearsome features.

  THE SENSATION OF BEING watched has really been fucking with my head. Of course I don’t mention it to Brie or Luciana, but someone is out there in those woods. I can feel it with every fiber of my being.

  And tonight, I’m going to find out whom.

  I located Duvan’s weapon stash. Found me a big fucking knife and a Glock. Tonight, after the girls go to bed, I’m going hunting. If it’s that Esteban asshole, I’m going to enjoy the hell out of skinning him alive.

  “Still no word from Oscar?” Brie’s voice carries out into the hallway from her room. She doesn’t talk much, but each day is getting better. Ever since we had our heart to heart a few days ago, her spirits have lifted. She’s still gutted over the loss of her husband, but I see signs of my child hiding behind the sadness. My baby girl lurks inside, just waiting to come out when it’s safe.

  I’ll make her world safe for her if it’s the last thing I do.

  I’m sitting in her yellow office with the lights out and my eyes trained on the tree line past the barn. I know whoever is out there can’t see me from this vantage point so it gives me the advantage. Eventually, I’ll find this motherfucker.

  “Where do you think he is?” she asks, her voice somewhat muffled.

  I can’t hear what Ren is saying but I know it’s him. He’s the only person she truly talks to. Sometimes, they do this weird-ass thing where they don’t talk at all. As much as I want to ask why they do this, I don’t. Whatever sort of comfort he provides her seems to improve her moods. Ren, despite being War’s kid, is actually okay in my book. I’d much rather have her talking to the likes of him than that Oscar kid she keeps fretting about. I don’t trust these Colombians as far as I can throw them.

  I still can’t believe she’s pregnant. With Duvan’s child, she later told me. I’m too young to be a grandfather. Hell, I have a baby of my own on the way. She stunned me speechless. I’m still trying to process her words. Not only do I have to protect my baby…but I also have to protect my baby’s baby. I think I’m going to develop a fucking ulcer from all this stress.

  Something glows for a brief moment beyond the trees, jerking me away from thoughts of my little girl’s stomach swelling with child, and my suspicions are confirmed. Someone is out there. Their cell phone just gave them away.

  I slip out of the room and creep down the hall past Brie’s room. Luciana has already retired to her room above the garage for the evening, so I’ll be able to sneak out undetected. The last thing I need is one of those girls following me out there and getting themselves hurt. I make my way out the front door and then creep around the massive house until I reach the backyard. Darting through the shadows, I make a wide arc to the woods. I move like the night. The fucker won’t see me coming. Once I get into the thick vegetation of the forest, I have to slow down and be mindful of my steps as not to alert the prick to my presence. As I near, I can hear his breathing. He’s crunching on some leaves. When his phone lights up again, he lets out a groan of frustration as he quickly answers it.

  “Yes,” he hisses. “I’m here. Where are you?”

  He nods his head as he listens and his eyes remain fixed on the house. I inch forward and draw my knife, ready to exact damage on the lurker.

  “She’s here. Some man is with her.” A pause. “Could be. They don’t come out much.” A pause. “Haven’t seen Esteban.” A pause. “Trust me, I will, hermano.”

  I’m much closer now and can hear the voice speaking rapidly on the other end, although I can’t make out the words. The fucker is bigger than me. Broad shoulders. Looks meaner than hell. But I’m the one with the element of surprise here. I’m the one with my weapon drawn and ready.

  “You think he’ll come for her?” he asks, his voice weary. “Has Camilo even spoken to Esteban since Duvan ran him off?”

  I don’t make out what the other person says but I’ll find out soon enough.

  “Right. I’ll keep watch. Call me when you need me to do it.”

  It takes everything in me to wait until he ends his call before I pounce. He’s not going to touch one hair on my daughter’s head. Grabbing the back of his jacket, I yank him backward and push the knife against his throat. It isn’t hard enough to puncture the flesh but if he moves, he might cut himself wide open.

  “Who the fuck are you?” I seethe. “And why are you stalking my daughter?”

  He raises both hands in surrender. “Chill out, hombre. I’m here to protect her,” he says through clenched teeth. “Not hurt her.”

  “Name,” I bark.

  “Rafe.”

  “Do you know my daughter?” I demand.

  He groans. “I’ve met her once but I’m not even sure she remembers me. Although, I’m sure Duvan probably spoke of me to her. I’m his right-hand man. His protection.” He lets out a hiss of frustration. “Was. I was those things. Now, I’m hers.”

  He is nothing to her.

  I’m her motherfucking protection detail.

  “Who wer
e you talking to?”

  “Oscar.”

  The name has me calming a bit. I draw my gun and step away. “Turn around.”

  He slowly turns around and regards me with narrowed eyes. “Listen, old man,” he grunts, “you’re in the lion’s den out here. Word has gotten out that Duvan was murdered. I have some trusted men protecting his factory and I’m looking after his wife and the house. But it won’t take long for the enemies of the Rojas family to pounce on this weakness. Esteban is missing. Duvan is dead. And that just leaves Camilo and Oscar to pick up the pieces. Camilo is at the shipyard eight hours away, and Oscar is with him until he can come out this way. We need to get the little princess out of here before she’s in the middle of a drug war. Diego Gomez is just waiting to make his move and steal the Bogotá territory. It’s only a matter of days before he can assemble a big enough army for what will be a hostile takeover.”

  Once again, I’m furious at myself for having let my daughter go. She was sucked up into something a thousand times more dangerous than Hannah. At least with my wife, when she gets crazy, I can manhandle her and tie her ass up. This whole Colombian army shit is way out of my league.

  Fuck!

  “Walk,” I bark out. “We’re going to talk to Brie and Luciana about this. If they even look at you wrong, I’m putting a bullet in your skull and letting the fucking forest animals snack on you. No funny moves. You do not know who the fuck you’re messing with.”

  He sighs and nods. “Oscar told me you eliminated that sick fuck, Heath. There’s been a hit out on him for years. Gomez just couldn’t ever get to him. The Rojas family never got rid of him because he was an asset. I know Duvan hated him, though. You just carried out your son-in-law’s wishes.”

  I motion with my gun toward the house. He trots through the brush and across the grass. Once we’re on the porch, he turns to regard me.

  “You may not trust me, but Duvan did. We were thick as thieves. He always took care of my mother and sisters when money was tight. I want to return the favor and make sure his woman isn’t harmed. It would appear you and I share the same interests, hermano.”