This Is Me, Baby (War & Peace #5)

by K. Webster

  I roll my eyes. Ever since Toto came onto the scene, Dad and Gabe act like they’re best fucking pals. I don’t even know how Mom puts up with that crap.

  “Whatever,” I mutter. “Just don’t upset her. She’s happy, man. Let’s keep her that way.”

  He lets out a resigned sigh. “She’ll be happier when I serve her Esteban’s dead cock on a platter.”

  I STARE INTO THE same bathroom mirror Ren fucked me in front of and frown. The outfit I’d bought at the Halloween store yesterday doesn’t look as cute on today. Perhaps spandex was not a good idea for a pregnant-with-twins woman to be wearing. At least if I’d gone with Juliet, I’d be wearing a big, flowy dress.

  Grumbling, I paint on whiskers and a black nose. My hair has been pulled back into a sleek ponytail and I’ve put on a headband with tiger ears on it. The tiger striped cat suit I’m wearing fits like a glove. But when I turn to the side, I can see my belly protrude. It doesn’t look like a pregnancy swell…it just looks like I ate too many tacos at lunch.

  I did eat too many tacos at lunch thanks to Calder. Between him and Luciana in the kitchen, they cooked us up one helluva lunch.

  I let out a huff of frustration. Too late to change my outfit now. I’m just attaching my tail and slipping into some black flats when I hear music. I step out of my bathroom and walk over to my bedroom window, which overlooks the driveway. As I near it, I recognize the music.

  “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel blasts from outside.

  A smile tugs at my lips.

  Ren gets me.

  He always has.

  With a cheesy grin on my face, I run over to the window and draw back the curtains. Sure enough, Ren stands in my driveway in front of his black truck. The music booms from his truck but he’s holding up a handmade cardboard boom box. His dark hair has been styled into a geeky 80s style to match that of John Cusack’s from the Say Anything movie. He’s nailed the costume. But unlike nerdy John, Ren looks hotter than hell in his 80s movie getup. The white Clash T-shirt fits him like it was painted on. He wears a tan trench coat over it with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. But the pants and shoes are what have me giggling. His grey pants have red stripes going down the sides and are tapered at the bottom. The white high-top sneakers have to have been stolen from an old man’s closet somewhere because I know they don’t make shoes like that anymore.

  Lifting the window, I lean out and laugh. “Lloyd!”

  He fist pumps the air because he knows I get his silly costume. “Get your sexy ass down here, little tigress. I’ve been dying to see your tight body in spandex ever since you bought that damn outfit.”

  Not exactly what Lloyd said in the movie…but it’s definitely better.

  I’ve long forgotten about my insecurities as I close the window to head downstairs. By the time I sling open the front door, he’s abandoned his cardboard box and is waiting on the porch with his hands shoved in his pockets. Even though he tried to dork himself out, he’s still so good looking.

  Strong, chiseled jaw.

  Piercing steel blue eyes.

  Sexy stubble sprinkled on his handsome face.

  Rushing over to him, I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. “You’re such a nerd,” I say with a chuckle.

  His powerful arms squeeze me to him and he inhales my hair. “Good thing you’re a nerd too. A sexy nerd but still a total nerd. You’re the one who likes these goofy movies, not me.”

  I pull away and regard him with a lifted brow. “Is that right? How many times did you watch Say Anything to get this costume perfect?”

  He grins at me sheepishly. “Yeah, yeah. Get your pretty butt in the car.”

  When I pull away, he gives my ass a slap. I narrow my eyes at him and make a growling sound. He grabs me by the tail and pulls me back into his arms. His hot mouth breathes against my neck near my ear as his palms roam my spandexed front, settling on my tits.

  “You’re hot as fuck, kitty.”

  I laugh. “Kitty? Have you seen the claw marks I left on you last night? I am tigress. Hear me roar.”

  He pinches my nipple through the spandex. “Okay, tigress,” he concedes. “And for the record, I like your claw marks on me. Gotta love a woman who marks her territory.”

  Territory. Is he mine?

  My heart rate quickens in my chest.

  He is.

  I don’t let guilt steal away our moment. Instead, I close my eyes and relax in his arms. He peppers kisses along the outside of my neck. Then, he twists me back around so we’re facing one another. His strong fingers grip my jaw in a gentle way.

  “You’re so beautiful, Brie.” His brows are furrowed as he makes this proclamation.

  I stare deep into his intense blue eyes. “So are you, Ren.”

  We hold each other’s stares for a long moment. Then, he dips down and brushes a soft kiss on my lips. It’s only a tease and I crave more. A car door slams loudly from nearby and it makes him tense. He starts to tug me to the truck.

  “We’re too exposed out here,” he mutters, a slight bite to his voice.

  I jolt at the sudden change in his demeanor. “No more darkness,” I remind him.

  He shuts me in the truck and then soon joins me. The keys sit in the ignition but he makes no move to turn the engine over. When he turns his head toward mine, worry is etched in his features.

  “What?” I demand.

  He swallows and reaches for my hand. “What happened with Diego?”

  I frantically pull open the glove box, where I’d shoved some crackers for emergencies, and attempt to stall by eating. When I don’t answer him and instead munch on the snack, he lets out a sigh and reverses the truck. By the time we reach his townhouse at the end of the street, I’ve nearly downed the entire sleeve of crackers to avoid spilling the icky details of “Daddy” Diego. As soon as he puts the car in park, I launch out and hightail it up to the house. Cars are parked everywhere and people in costumes are heading to the front door. I’m almost to the porch when someone grabs my arm.

  I yelp out in surprise.

  “It’s me,” Ren assures me. He comes to stand in front of me and scowls. “Tell me. Something bad happened. Something you didn’t even tell your dad. You need to tell me.”

  I purse my lips together. “Why?” A shudder passes through me.

  “Because something happened to you, goddammit. I need to know…” he trails off and runs his fingers through his hair, messing up his 80s hair style. “I need to know what happened and who I need to kill.” His glare is severe. If this were old Ren, I would have laughed after such a proclamation. New Ren is serious.

  “I had it handled,” I lie. I was scared shitless when I thought he was going to rape me. I’d gotten myself into something that was way over my head.

  “Did he touch you?” he demands, his jaw ticking with fury.

  I swallow down my emotion and shake my head. “No.”

  His eyes narrow as he studies me. “I don’t believe you.”

  Tearing my gaze from his, I shrug my shoulders. “I’m sorry.” I run past a group of people and push through the front door. Luciana and Calder really went all out decorating the place. There’s food too. My stomach grumbles with delight but I charge past the kitchen toward the bedrooms. Once I make my way into Ren’s, I make a run for the bathroom. I’ve barely shut the door when it’s being pushed back open.

  My eyes flip up to the mirror. Ren stands behind me looking more like the bad guy in the 80s movies than the good guy. And I look absolutely ridiculous in a tiger outfit that’s two sizes too small. He places his large hands on my hips and twists me to face him.

  “Tell me.”

  I purse my lips together and pout. “You’re being a bully.”

  He winces and I instantly feel bad. Then, his fingers are under my chin, lifting it up so he can look into my eyes.

  “I’m not sorry for worrying about you. You may be all fierce and tough and have claws, but people can still hurt you. For that reason alon
e, I’ll always fucking stress out about you.” He leans forward and drops a soft kiss on my lips. “Have you told anyone?”

  Emotion clogs my throat and I fight tears. “N-No.”

  “No secrets, Brie. Bring it into the light. We’ll face it together.”

  My chest aches but I know he’s right. I don’t want to carry that burden alone. He’s always been the one I can confide in. “He was just going to take what he wanted…”

  He stiffens, and I can sense the rage bubbling from him, yet he somehow manages to remain quiet.

  I continue, my voice slightly wobbling. “We made a deal. But then…” I choke out. “I thought he was going to rape me. He overpowered me and he…and he…”

  “So help me, Brie, I’m going to cut out his fucking throat,” he growls in a low, threatening tone.

  “But he didn’t.” I drop my voice to a whisper. A tear sneaks out and I worry if it’ll smear my cat whiskers. “He just exerted his power over me is all. I felt helpless and alone. I was in over my head with him. He could have…if he wanted…” Thank God he didn’t.

  A roar, louder than any sound my tiger of a husband ever made, rips from Ren. His entire body ripples with fury. I hug his middle so he doesn’t do anything stupid, like destroy his bathroom. “You’re not alone. Not anymore.”

  “Then he took the necklace you gave me and Duvan’s wedding ring.” At this statement, I burst into tears.

  His strong arms hug me tight. For the longest time, he doesn’t speak a word. “Gabe doesn’t know those details, I’m guessing?”

  “Daddy had already gotten his ass beat all to hell that day. If he’d known Diego was anything other than pure business with me, he’d have gotten himself killed,” I say softly.

  He grips my sleek ponytail and tugs until I’m looking up at him. “I’ll keep you safe from those motherfuckers,” he vows. “You’re going to get away from that crooked life. Here, you’re going to have a normal one. You’re going to take care of those babies without having to look over your shoulder. Brie,” he murmurs and dips his head down, “you’re safe here.”

  His lips crash against mine.

  When we finally pull away from our soul consuming kiss, he regards me with a fierce look on his face. “Be careful tonight.”

  I nod and give him a smile. He grabs my hand and we leave his room to go back into the fray of people dancing and drinking in his house. I see lots of cool costumes but Ren’s is the best hands down. Only he could make looking like an 80s nerd seem so hot. I’m smiling as we enter the kitchen where Calder and Luciana are putting on a show. A puppet show that is. The sight is hysterical—her looking like a dummy with his hand up under the back of her shirt. Both of them are all smiles as they perform their little show.

  “Oh my God,” I shout over the music to Ren. “What is even happening there right now?”

  He chuckles and pulls me to his side. “Whatever it is, they’re both happy to do it. Did you know Luciana thinks my brother looks like Justin Bieber?”

  I snort and nod. “I don’t see it.”

  Ren smirks at me. “He does kinds look like a douchebag, so maybe she’s on to something.”

  He pulls away from me to pour me some Pepsi into a red Solo cup. I notice he abstains from the alcohol too. Not sure if it’s in solidarity with me because of the pregnancy or if it’s because he wants to remain alert. By the way his eyes skim the crowd every so often and he keeps me within touching distance lets me know it’s the latter. As much as Diego terrifies me and as much as Esteban haunts my every thought, I doubt either one of them would be so bold as to come to this party. Hell, for all I know, they’re probably still in Colombia. I don’t feel threatened right now. For once, I feel kind of normal. A young adult at a party full of college-aged people who are dressed up and drinking and laughing. Ren has always wanted a simple, happy life for me. One where I was free to make my own choices and do my own thing. I’ve been here a week and he’s already done so much to help make that happen.

  “I’m going to run to the restroom,” I tell him.

  His features harden, but the last thing I want is for him to follow me to pee. “I can stand outside the door.”

  Shaking my head, I put my palm on his firm chest and stand on my toes. Our lips brush against each other briefly. I did it. I kissed him in front of others for the first time. His big hands slide to my ass and he pulls me flush against him.

  “That was only a tease,” he murmurs, his hot breath tickling my lips. “That will never be enough.”

  He kisses me hard enough to steal my breath and pull a moan from me. When I finally manage to free myself from his magnetic touch, he flashes me a knowing smirk. I laugh and stick my tongue out before heading to the bathroom. I’m just about to twist the knob to the front bathroom when the door flies open. The bathroom is dark from the lights being cut off, so all I get is a flash of blonde pigtails before she brushes up against me. I notice her belly is huge with pregnancy. When I lift my gaze, I meet curious blue eyes.

  Familiar.

  I open my mouth to speak but she grips my elbows and drags me into the bathroom. She shuts the door behind her and blocks my path to it. The lock clicks as the light turns back on.

  I’m staring at Harley Quinn. Well, not the real Harley Quinn—The Joker’s insane girlfriend—from the Suicide Squad movie. But someone who’s nailed her costume with precision. The real-live version might be a little more frightening than the character from the movie though.

  Blonde pigtails with streaks of pink and blue. Bright red lipstick on a devious grin. She wears a white T-shirt that says “Daddy’s Lil Monster” that has been shredded, revealing her very pregnant belly. Tiny red and blue sequined shorts sparkle in the light.

  But what’s alarming is the baseball bat she’s holding.

  “Gabriella,” she says, a small bite to her voice that has my hackles rising. She smacks on her gum as she takes her time sizing me up.

  I’m too frozen in fear to move.

  “Hannah,” I choke out. My voice is barely a whisper. When she lifts the baseball bat and runs her hand over it, I flinch and protectively clutch at my stomach.

  Calculating eyes dart to my midsection and her hard gaze softens. “You pregnant?” she questions as she lets the bat swing lazily beside her like a pendulum. Then, she blows a bubble with her pink gum.

  A cold sweat breaks out over my flesh. The terror has swallowed me whole. This woman cut open my mother’s throat and ran off with my father. For years, I imagined how this conversation would go. How I would scream at her and rip her hair out. How I would make her pay for what she did to Mom. I never imagined I’d be so scared of her.

  “P-Please don’t hurt me,” I utter. “Or my babies.”

  At this, her eyes widen with glee and that sends my heart thumping right out of my chest.

  “Twins?” She beams at me as if this is the coolest thing she’s ever heard.

  Swallowing, I nod. My eyes quickly dart around the room in search of a weapon. Calder and Ren don’t keep weapons in their bathroom. I decide right then and there that if I make it out of this bathroom alive, my house will have hidden weapons in all the rooms.

  “I’m pregnant.” She rubs her belly and smacks her gum. “Second baby. Your brother.”

  I inch away from her because I don’t like how she keeps swinging the bat, the arc growing wider and wider. “That’s nice,” I blurt out.

  She flashes me another grin. “Do you ever get cravings?”

  I blink at her in confusion. “Uh, not really. Mostly I try not to be sick. I eat a lot of peanut butter crackers.”

  Her head bobs up and down knowingly. “Morning sickness is the worst. Try keeping some saltines by your bed and eat a couple before you even get up. That way, you have something on your stomach when you go to eat something a little more substantial.”

  Pregnancy advice from my…psycho, murdering stepmother.

  “Thanks.” I chew on my bottom lip and look past her to the
door. Surely any minute Ren will come looking for me. “I really need to pee. Do you think you could—”

  She charges for me and all I can do is squeak. My palms go in the air in a defensive move. I expect the baseball bat to crack me over the head but it doesn’t. Her belly presses against mine wedging me between her and the wall. All humor and sweetness is gone as she glares down at me.

  “He told me what happened,” she snaps, fury flickering in her steely blue eyes that look more fierce than her brother’s ever could be.

  “W-Who? What?” I stammer, my heart thundering to the point of pain.

  She reaches her hand up and I flinch. Her red lips purse into a line as she pets me—fucking pets me like I’m a little kitten. “Gabe. He told me about him.”

  “Who?”

  “Estebaaaaaaan,” she hisses through clenched teeth.

  I’m thoroughly confused at this point. I don’t understand her misplaced rage.

  “He,” she snarls as her mouth gets close to my ear, “raped you.”

  Shuddering, I let out a sob. I’m confused when this psychopath hugs me rather than hurts me. I stand still, afraid to move or speak. She releases me and glares at me.

  “He’ll pay for what he did. That’s what happens to rapists.” Her eyes narrow. “They pay with their life.”

  Anger, my most recent familiar emotion, finally claws up inside of me from whatever depths it was hiding in. “And what do murderers pay with?” I don’t remind her that my father and Hannah’s husband, according to Baylee, is also a rapist. She’s proven once that she will kill the ones I love. The last thing I want is for her to snap and kill Daddy too.

  Her blue eyes soften and she gives me a shy grin that makes my insides quake with more fear. “Oh, baby girl, I was just curious.”

  I scoff and fist my hands. “Curious?” My tone is shrill. “Your fucking curiosity killed my mother?!”

  She shrugs her shoulders but then levels me with another one of her scary stares. “And the fact that she was in my way. Are you in my way?”