Three

by Chloe Lynn Ellis

  Even if that’s true, I already know I’ve won… and better yet, he knows it, too.

  “You guys,” Eden says, laughing as she plucks the list out of Matt’s hand and looks it over. “What’s a duck boat?”

  Matt and I share another look, both shaking our heads sadly. This girl really isn’t from Boston.

  I’m about to explain it to her when the doorbell finally rings, and Eden pops right up off her stool with a look of utter relief on her face, untucking her tank top and smoothing it down, as if she thinks that makes her look any less delicious.

  Can only help with the repair guy’s motivation though, you know? As long as he’s into girls, at least.

  “I’ll get it,” she says, already halfway out of the kitchen and sounding just as breathless and excited as she does when we fuck her.

  Matty laughs, watching her go. “Want to bet we get good service?”

  “Hey, whatever it takes. This heat is fucking ridiculous.”

  “You’re ridiculous. The duck boat? Seriously?”

  I shrug. “We see them all the time. You ever been?”

  Matty rolls his eyes. “Of course not, it’s a tourist thing.”

  I shake my head, tapping my finger on the list in an effort to point out just how ignorant our girl is about our hometown. “Eden needs a little Boston in her, you know?”

  He looks at me, and then we both snicker, because of course we’re both thinking of the same dirty joke.

  “How about you?” I ask, looking mine over and already thinking of some other cool shit to add. “You gonna start a list, Matty?”

  He’s quiet enough that I look up, and he’s got this expression on his face that does weird things to my heart. Good-weird things.

  Matty shakes his head.

  “Why not?” I ask, holding my breath for some reason.

  One side of his mouth quirks up in a sexy little half-smile, and he shrugs. “Don’t need to, I guess. Already got everything I want, yeah?”

  The snarky part of me wants to point out that hello, neither one of us has ever had Bruins season tickets before and there’s a ton of other cool shit we could all do together, too, but my heart tells that part of me to shut the hell up, because I see what Matty’s saying here.

  Jeez, he’s a cheeseball.

  My cheeseball.

  “Love you,” I mumble, pulling him in to rest my forehead against his, even though it’s still too fucking hot for that shit.

  “See what I mean?” he says, grinning at me.

  And I do. I really do.

  Doesn’t mean he’s gonna get out of riding that camel, though.

  23

  Eden

  My twenty-fifth birthday is less than three weeks away, but for the first time in my life, I’m barely thinking about it. Not that I don’t know it’s coming, because of course I do, but I’m just having such a good time with these two that it feels like the weight of my fate has been lifted off me.

  “You ready for this, princess?” Johnny asks me excitedly, pulling me against his side with a cheek-splitting grin on his face.

  “It’s a duck boat, not the second coming,” Matt says, rolling his eyes at Johnny as the tour bus pulls up in front of us.

  I laugh, feeling almost giddy, because it’s so, so obvious that he’s having a good time, too, despite the way he’s teasing Johnny.

  Matt’s got a possessive hand resting casually on Johnny’s lower back while they bicker, and seeing that gives me all sorts of thrills. They’re going to be just fine without me, aren’t they?

  I push that thought aside when my throat tries to close up, because I am not ruining this day, or any part of whatever time I still get with them.

  I step away from Johnny for a second, pulling out my phone with a smile and snapping a picture of the two of them together like this, then quickly set it as my lockscreen. This makes me happy.

  “Oh, come on now,” Matt says, reaching out to grab me. “That’s not gonna do. It’s gotta be all three of us.”

  “And we need the duck boat in the background,” Johnny says, maneuvering us all around until we’re facing the other way, the duck boat parked behind us like Johnny wanted and me sandwiched between the two of them, as usual.

  I’ve seen the duck boats everywhere since moving here, big hulking machines that are part tour bus, part boat. There’s nothing that looks quite like them, but I’m still not sure what to call them.

  “Is it a boat?” I ask, laughing as Johnny grabs my phone out of my hand and starts snapping selfies. “Or is it actually a bus?”

  “Yes!” they both answer at the same time, looking down at me with matching grins.

  Oh, Lord. I love these boys. It hits me all over again, and without thinking I go up on my toes so I can kiss the smile off Johnny’s face, then turn and do the same to Matt.

  “Guess doing the duck tour was a pretty good idea, huh, Matty?” Johnny says, winking at Matt over my head as I squeeze both their hands in mine.

  “It hasn’t even started yet, bro,” Matt says, getting that look on his face that I know means he’s trying not to give in and laugh.

  “So just think how much better it’s going to get from here on out,” Johnny shoots back, reaching around me to goose Matt’s side.

  They’ve got me laughing again, as usual, and I take my phone back from Johnny and turn to an older couple standing next to us, holding it out.

  “Would you mind getting a picture of the three of us?” I ask them, because Matt’s right, it would be nice to have one… and I’ve seen Johnny’s selfies before. They’re fun, but generally tend to include someone’s chin getting cut off, or extreme close-ups of facial features that are much easier to appreciate when we don’t get to see quite so much of them, so to speak.

  I’m fully expecting the couple in front of us to smile and say yes—they’re the same ones who just asked Matt to take a picture for them a few minutes ago, aren’t they?—but instead, I just get a couple of hard, disapproving looks followed by a quick, negative jerk of the woman’s head.

  “I don’t think so,” she says tightly, turning her back on me as her husband does the same.

  My mouth drops open in surprise, and I’m left standing there with my phone out for a second while I recover.

  What on earth did I do to offend those two? The boys are still joking with each other and I don’t even think they noticed the exchange. I’m certainly not going to let some sour stranger spoil my day, though, so I give up on getting the picture and just decide to forget about it. As long as we don’t sit near that couple, we’re still guaranteed to have a good time.

  “All aboard!” comes the call from the duck boat parked in front of us. “Watch your step, and make sure to fill every seat you can, we’ve got a busy, busy day ahead of us, folks!”

  Before I can dwell on it any longer, we fall in line, climbing up into the boat. The three of us sit together—me right in the middle the way Johnny and Matt seem to like having me—and before I know it I really have forgotten about that brief moment of unpleasantness, swept up in the silliness and excitement radiating off my boys.

  “Can’t wait to see what all of this looks like while we’re floating on the Charles,” Johnny says, doing his best to unfold his large frame in the tight seat. He flings an arm around me and uses his other one to make an expansive gesture that I’m guessing is meant to encompass the entire city.

  Matty laughs, reaching across me to punch Johnny’s shoulder. “Here’s my guess: same as it looks every day.”

  “Nothing is the same when you’re in a duck,” Johnny insists. “Bet the Pru looks taller.”

  I giggle and shake my head, leaning back and settling in with a happy exhale. It didn’t take much for them to make me feel better, and as the tour gets underway, even Matt can’t hide that he’s enjoying himself. They both really love this city, and cheesy or not, seeing it this way with the running commentary from the two of them is making me fall in love with it, too.

 
“See, it does look taller,” Johnny says as we circle the Prudential Center, pointing up at the sheer, breathtaking height. “One day we’ll hit that restaurant at the top, okay? Remind me to add it to my bucket list when we get home.”

  Johnny’s jumped into the idea of having a bucket list with both feet, because of course he has. I’m not sure he knows how to live life any other way. Unlike mine, though, his is full of light-hearted fun without any urgency, and it’s kept the three of us hopping for the last week.

  “Look at you,” I say, leaning into him and stealing another kiss. “You’re going to have my one hundred beat in no time.”

  “Guess you’ll have to catch up,” he says, winking at me. “Add a few more to yours, you know?”

  I press my lips together, holding in a smile. For once, I’m not thinking of how I don’t have any time for that. I’m thinking that #101 should be fall in love… the thing I was never brave enough to put on there, but that I seem to have managed anyway.

  I want to say it to them, but I keep holding back. If I really don’t make it past my twenty-fifth, then it still seems like an unnecessary cruelty, and if I do—

  I clamp down hard on the surge of hope and wanting that blossoms within me. The only way I’m going to manage is just staying present in the present. One day at a time. Enjoy what I’ve got while I’ve got it, and not get my hopes up for more. Not let myself start daydreaming about a real future with these two, even though that’s where my mind drifts more and more often lately.

  “So, you’ve really never eaten at the restaurant up there?” I ask, pointing back at the Pru. “Is it because of the height?”

  “Nah,” Johnny says, cheeks going a little pink. “I mean, maybe a little. But mostly—”

  “Oh, he’s been angling to eat at that restaurant for years,” Matt cuts in, laughing. “Then he sees the prices and we end up going to Outback instead.”

  “Well, let’s definitely put it on your list then,” I say. “Life is too short.”

  The two of them exchange a look over my head, and Matt presses a kiss against my temple without saying anything. For a second, I think I’ve put a pall over the day, but pretty soon they’re laughing and joking again, pointing out all the major landmarks, complete with color commentary as they both snuggle a little closer to me.

  My heart leaps, and I rest my head on Matt’s shoulder, holding Johnny’s hand as the tour circles the Boston Common. Johnny’s going on about some trouble he and Matt got into there back when they were in high school, and just when he’s got us both laughing, I hear the distinctive sound of a loud scoff.

  Neither of the boys seem to have noticed, but I stiffen at the sound, my eyes finding the perpetrator immediately. It’s the woman I asked to take our photo. She’s sitting a few seats forward, across the aisle, and she gives me a dirty look of disapproval before turning back around to face front.

  I shrink backward instinctively, pressing into Matt’s side and squeezing Johnny’s hand too tightly, and even though I didn’t really catch on before, I get it now. It’s us, that’s what I did to offend her. I’ve gotten so used to being with these two that I forgot how it would look to others.

  I guess most people fundamentally understand one level of relationship—the type between one person and another—but seeing me all over Matt and Johnny, and the way they haven’t been hiding that they’re together, too… well, at least Boston is progressive enough that most people won’t act openly homophobic in public anymore, but the same can’t be said for whatever it is that the three of us are doing together.

  “Hey, you okay, princess?” Johnny asks, big arm squeezing me around the shoulders.

  “No, she’s not,” Matt says, tipping my face up to look at him. “What just happened, beautiful?”

  “It’s nothing,” I say, because in a perfect world, that would be true.

  “Quit lying,” Matt says, giving me a small smile. “Is it about your birthday?”

  Oh, Lord, his eyes are so full of real concern that my own start to sting. I didn’t even know whether he or Johnny remembered what I’d told them about my birthday—about my fate—but for once, it’s not that.

  I shake my head. “It’s silly,” I say, keeping my voice low as I dart another glance at the stiff back of the nasty woman up ahead. I swipe at my cheeks, hating every word as I say it. “I just… maybe we shouldn’t be so open with each other when we’re, um, not at the house? I mean, what we’re doing… people aren’t exactly going to think it’s… normal.”

  And if I do get more time with them, if I somehow make it past twenty-five, is that what I’ll be consigning myself to? A lifetime of speaking in hushed whispers when we’re out in public? Choosing which of their hands I get to hold? Pretending my heart doesn’t belong to both of them?

  “That really what you want?” Matt asks me, looking serious. “You want ‘normal’? You want us to back off and make it seem like, what, like the three of us are just friends?”

  “Fuck that,” Johnny says, squeezing me even tighter. “You know what it’s like to keep it buried inside? It’s like… like fucking cancer.”

  Matt looks up at him sharply and I have to catch my breath at the fierceness I see there. Over Matt’s shoulder, That Woman is looking back at us again, but this time, I just glare right back at her. She doesn’t get to win, and Johnny’s right… hiding what we are to each other does feel like that.

  She huffs out a breath and turns away again.

  “I’m sorry,” Matt says, looking straight at Johnny. “Shit, Johnny, I did that, didn’t I? Made it have to be a secret?”

  “Nah,” Johnny says, almost squirming in his seat. “It’s just—”

  “No, it was me,” Matt cuts him off. “Jesus, guess my dad really had some balls, didn’t he? Living the way he needed to even though I was such an ass.” He looks back at me. “Eden, I don’t want that either, not ever again. Like Johnny said, fuck normal. This is our normal. We’re not hurting anybody.”

  “I figure we’re actually helping people,” Johnny says, grinning again. “You know, like a public service. Who wouldn’t want to see a little more love in the world, huh? Especially when it’s dressed in one of these sexy sundress things our girl likes to rock.”

  I can feel myself blushing, but you know what? I can also feel something else. That tight constriction in my chest is easing up, and I know they’re right. I know it. And whether I only end up getting another few weeks, or a whole lot longer, I’m not going to let someone else’s small-minded opinion stop me from being happy every single remaining moment of my life that I’ve got these two.

  That I love these two.

  “I’m adding something to my bucket list,” I say without stopping to think, sitting up a little straighter.

  I’ve already gone and done it, haven’t I? But I’m going to stop being scared about it, and about what it might mean, or how long it can last. And if I’m really brave? One of these days I’m even going to write it on The List and make it official.

  #101.

  I’ve fallen in love… and I’m going to tell them, too.

  They both look at me with expectant smiles, but then the tour takes us into the river, and I miss my chance because we’re all laughing as the bus becomes a boat and the cold water splashes up around us, soaking Johnny most of all but getting me and Matt, too.

  “This is a good look on you, Eden,” Matt says, staring down at my sundress lasciviously. He glances over at Johnny, then reaches out and wipes some of the water off Johnny’s face, grinning. “I take back all the shit I gave you about doing the duck boat, bro. Good call. We need to take Eden on one of these every weekend, yeah?”

  Johnny shakes his head with mock sorrow. “Sorry, Matty. Got too much else on my list. Topsfield Fair’s coming up, and guess what they’ve got there?”

  “No,” Matt says, laughing and holding his hands up like he’s trying to ward Johnny off.

  “What?” I ask, laughing too, because I don’t even car
e what it turns out to be, I already know it will be fun.

  “Don’t encourage him, beautiful,” Matt says, pulling me right up onto his lap as the tour conductor’s voice drones on in the background.

  Johnny beams at the two of us. “Camels.”

  And the resigned look on Matt’s face at that makes me laugh even harder. Hard enough that I don’t even have to stop and think when The Woman looks back again. I just pull Matt’s face toward mine and lay one on him. And when I come up for air and he reaches around my shoulder to pull Johnny closer? I kiss Johnny, too, and then—right in front of me—Matt kisses Johnny.

  Johnny is startled as heck, that’s easy to tell, but when they break the kiss, he’s also beaming even more brightly than he did about the camels. He and Matt stare at each other for a minute, and then Matt winks.

  “Public service, amirite?”

  Johnny laughs, and I do, too… but I also can’t help it, I take a quick survey of the boat patrons as the boys start arguing about what a camel’s hump is made of.

  The Woman is still staring at us, still disgusted, and it’s not a perfect world, so I catch another couple of judgmental looks, too, although way lower key. But you know what? I also spot a few wide smiles… and a few secretive ones. And everyone else? They’re minding their own business, caught up in the tour and their own lives and busy with whatever variation of normal they’re living in, and that’s just fine.

  “I love you,” I say, interrupting the argument.

  They both turn to look at me, and my face has to be bright red, but I say it again anyway, because they make me feel brave.

  “I love you. Both of you. I really do.”

  Johnny’s arm is around my shoulders again, and he gives me a squeeze. “Love you, too, princess.”

  “Ditto,” Matt says easily, grinning at us like it’s the easiest, most normal thing in the world. “Love you both.”

  And maybe it really can be that easy.