One Endless Summer

by Laurie Ellingham

  ‘Just an everyday superhero then,’ she said, her heartbeat drumming against her chest.

  ‘Something like that.’

  ‘So what’s your instinct telling you right now?’ Lizzie stepped forward until she could feel the warmth of his body.

  Ben continued to stare into her eyes for another moment then drew in a sudden breath as if he’d been underwater for a minute and just resurfaced. ‘That maybe I should kiss you right now.’ His arms reached around her and pulled her the last few inches into his embrace.

  Lizzie pressed her body against him as their lips touched and she felt it again, just like before – the firecrackers inside her, the dipping of a rollercoaster, losing her stomach.

  Ben stood up, craning Lizzie’s neck back as they continued to kiss. In one fluid movement, he scooped her from the floor and stepped two paces to the bed.

  CHAPTER 57

  Jaddi

  Jaddi’s eyes scanned the hotel lobby. Her head pounded as she moved. The impact of each step caused a searing pain to spread across her ribs. The bruise forming on her stomach already had the outlines of a perfect shoe print.

  A scuffle of feet sounded from behind her, followed by a clanging crash. Jaddi jumped; an image of David’s deranged grin danced before her eyes. With a racing heart, she spun around to find a gold-framed porter’s trolley lying on its side and suitcases strewn across the one of the indoor flowerbeds.

  She smiled at her own stupidity and shook her head. The movement unleashed a new wave of pounding and a torrent of swear words to rage through her. What he’d done to Samantha, what he’d been about to do, to both of them. A line of sweat prickled the skin along her spine. She tried to shake the images away but events of the afternoon replayed on repeat in her mind.

  ‘Are you OK, miss?’ a woman’s voice asked from behind her.

  She nodded and started walking again. She was fine. It was Suk she needed to focus on. There’d been a flash of realisation when the sole of David’s foot had connected with her body and sent her flying through the air, where she’d seen with absolute clarity that Suk meant more to her than anything else in the world, and that included her family.

  She loved her parents and Halima, Ravi, and her nieces and nephews. She loved her family home and the playful bickering with Ravi and Halima over who’d set the table for dinner, as if the walls of the home they’d grown up in had the power to rewind the clock and make them squabbling children again. She loved the celebrations and traditions, and Punjab festivals, especially Vaisakhi, but she loved Suk more.

  It had taken the impact with the floor to jolt those thoughts away, and replace it with another: had David hurt Suk, or worse?

  Once David had been taken away, the hotel security team had searched every corner and every cupboard of the suite and found nothing. The relief had been brief. Where was Suk? Had she left the hotel? Left Vegas? Left Jaddi forever?

  Tears began to stream from Jaddi’s eyes as her pupils darted in one direction and then another. She wandered into a corridor away from the main lobby. There were doors on either side and a wide set of double doors at the end. Gold plaques with room names sat above the doors – Business Centre, Ball Room, Banqueting Suite, Boulevard Room.

  A dizziness begun to swarm her thoughts. She’d lost her. The thought drained the last molecules of energy from her body. Her back scraped against the wall as she sank to the floor.

  ‘Jaddi?’

  Jaddi lifted her head, her mouth dropping open. Suk stood in the open doorway to the business centre. Behind her sat a bank of computers and a row of telephones.

  ‘I … I thought I’d lost you.’ Jaddi’s voice rose to a squeak as sobs attacked her body.

  Suk crouched down alongside her. ‘Hey, hey, hey … what’s going on?’

  Jaddi nodded and wiped her eyes. ‘Sorry, it’s been a … a long afternoon. I’ve been looking for you.’ A burst of love exploded inside Jaddi as Suk reached out and wrapped her hand in hers. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You’re right. We should be together. I’ll call my mum and dad today. I’ll tell them everything. I didn’t think I could live without my family, but I was wrong. It’s you I can’t live without. If they can’t accept me for who I am then I’ll have to live with that. But you were right, I am strong, we’re strong, we can do this together, but please forgive me.’

  Suk squeezed her hand. ‘I forgive you.’

  ‘Really?’ Fresh tears ran down Jaddi’s face.

  Suk smiled. ‘If you’ll still have me?’

  Jaddi laughed. ‘Um, let me see – yes.’ She dipped her head and touched her lips to Suk’s, sending a warmth pulsing through her body. A moment later, Jaddi pulled away. ‘You should come with us to South America. Lizzie and Samantha won’t mind.’

  ‘I’d love to, but I can’t. I need to be on my own for a while. Without my family, and without you. I need some time to think about what it is I want to do.’

  ‘Oh.’ Jaddi stared at Suk. A different type of fear wound its way through her.

  ‘I meant career-wise, nothing else.’ Suk laughed. ‘I’m not going to change my mind about us. Besides, I just sent my mum an email saying goodbye, and one to my brother telling him where he can shove his proposal to ship me away to India. Even without you, I realised it was too late to go back, but it does mean I’m out of a job.’

  ‘I’m so sorry I outed us.’

  ‘Don’t be,’ Suk said, leaning closer and kissing Jaddi again.

  ‘What will you do?’

  Suk smiled. ‘I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll go back to college. The only good thing about living at home all these years and hardly going out is that I have a pretty decent amount in my savings account.’

  ‘You always said you’d be a vet if you had the choice.’

  Suk nodded, her smile spreading. ‘I know. Crazy, isn’t it? I can’t believe I’m doing this. We’re doing this,’ she corrected. ‘I know none of it will be easy, but for the first time in my life I feel excited about something.’

  Just then, Suk grabbed her hand and pulled it close to her. ‘What’s this?’ she asked, staring at the raw indentations on Jaddi’s wrist.

  ‘It’s nothing, I’m fine.’ Jaddi pulled her arm free.

  ‘It’s not nothing, Jaddi. What happened to you?’

  Hot tears scorched the rims of Jaddi’s eyes. ‘Just a corkscrew-wielding maniac who wanted to rape—’ Jaddi’s word stopped forming in her mouth as heaving breaths consumed her body.

  Suk pulled her closer and held her tight.

  Sometime later, when the tears had run dry, Jaddi lifted her face to Suk’s. ‘I really am fine, it’s just the shock.’

  ‘Tell me what happened.’

  Jaddi nodded. ‘I think I’ll need a glass of wine in front of me for that.’

  ‘Done.’ Suk stood up, before reaching her hands out to Jaddi and pulling her to her feet.

  CHAPTER 58

  Day 61

  Samantha

  Samantha wrapped the blanket tighter around herself and tucked her chin against her knees as a chilly wind blew across the canyon. Her legs were starting to ache from the cold of the rock face they were huddled on, but she wasn’t ready to move. They’d found a spot, just the three of them. No other tourists, no Ben, and no cameras. Partly due to a weekend of intense filming, and partly due to her guilt at inviting a maniac to Las Vegas, Caroline had granted them a sunrise alone, just one, and Samantha didn’t want it to end yet.

  She was OK. Really and truly OK. Shaken, yes. Hurt, a little. But the shock had worn off and in its place was something else, something new. A zinging around her body that she couldn’t explain. Up until twenty minutes ago, she’d put it down to some kind of reverse post-traumatic stress. The sudden desire to be back on the ledge in Mondulkiri staring into the dark water below, fearless and wanting to jump again and again. But watching the dusky, orange sky above the black outlines of the canyons she’d realised it was more. She felt awake for the first time in her l
ife.

  It was like the childhood buzz from the blue Slush Puppy they’d sold in the cafe her nan had taken her to sometimes. Or the pulsing of her first cup of coffee at sixteen. Samantha had never tried anything stronger, but she imagined it must feel like this. A heightened sense of living that pushed and pushed against her, willing her, no, daring her to live harder, faster, better.

  Suddenly, she didn’t want to be careful, studious, organised Samantha, too scared to step outside of the rigid lines of the escape plan she’d made when she was just a kid, in case she slipped up somewhere and found herself right back in that council flat sitting alongside her mother and brothers.

  Study hard, get a good job, meet a man – someone who’d never set foot on a council estate, let alone grown up on one – get married, have children and maybe a dog too. Be a mother like Evelyn – patient, funny and kind. Break the cycle and undo the damage her own mother had done.

  She’d been on course, or she thought she had been, until David’s fist had slammed into her head. Now she knew how wrong she’d been about David and about herself. Where in her plan had she allowed herself to live? To question, is this what I want?

  ‘Are you OK, Samantha?’ Lizzie asked, breaking her concentration. ‘You look, I don’t know, angry.’

  Samantha blinked and realised the sun had peaked over the canyon, bathing the orange and red rocks in a soft, yellow light. She shook her head. ‘Yes, sorry. I was thinking about my mother.’

  ‘Oh,’ Lizzie said, glancing at Jaddi. ‘You’ve never really spoken about your mum before.’

  Samantha smirked. ‘There’s not much to say.’

  ‘Do you want to tell us about her? You don’t have too, if it’s hard.’

  ‘She is a selfish woman who had three children when she’d have been better off having none. She wasn’t purposefully cruel; she just wasn’t capable of thinking about anyone but herself. She still isn’t. One of us would say, “Mum, there’s nothing to eat,” and she’d say, “Oh, I forgot.” No apology, or anything.

  ‘We lived two floors up at my nan’s flat when we were very little. She did what she could for us. Taught us to fend for ourselves. She had a stroke and died when I was six so we packed up and moved in with my mum.’ Samantha pulled in a breath. She’d never spoken about her past before, not to David, not to Lizzie and Jaddi. No one. Hearing the words aloud, they seemed so blunt, but after so many years Samantha didn’t know if she had any feelings left towards her family or her past.

  ‘That must have been really tough,’ Jaddi said, taking Samantha’s hand.

  ‘I guess it was, but we didn’t know any different. A lot of kids in the tower didn’t have much in the way of parenting. It was all we knew. Up until I started senior school, I thought it was normal.’

  ‘What about your dad?’ Lizzie asked.

  ‘Your guess is as good as mine. I once asked my mum who my dad was. I couldn’t have been older than eight, maybe nine. She laughed and said, “Tony-fucking-Blair, honey. He came on a visit to the estate and we fell in love, but you know, he’s got a country to run and Cherie at home so I had to move on.”’ Samantha snorted. ‘I believed her too. For years I had this plan to get a job in parliament so he could meet me and take me away from her. Stupid, hey?’

  Lizzie and Jaddi remained silent.

  ‘Shit,’ Samantha said as the cognisance of her words sunk in.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Jaddi asked.

  ‘That’s what I did, isn’t? I went and got a job in Government. How crazy am I?’

  Lizzie rubbed her back. ‘You’re not crazy. You love your job.’

  Samantha shook her head and stood up, stepping closer to the ledge. The sun was well above the peak of the canyons now. The brightness stung her eyes, but she continued to stare. ‘No, actually, I don’t. It’s pretty frustrating and very boring.’

  Jaddi and Lizzie scrambled to their feet and followed Samantha’s gaze.

  ‘When we get back, I’m going to quit my job and go back to Mondulkiri,’ Samantha said, only realising her plan as she heard the words leave her mouth. ‘Working with Happy and the other elephants was the best thing I’ve ever done.’

  Lizzie and Jaddi shared a look but Samantha didn’t care. It was what she wanted to do, what she was going to do. She was never going to end up back on her mother’s sofa, or like her mother, no matter how she decided to live her life. A fresh zinging pulsed through her body. She felt the girls’ hands curl into hers and they all stood there for a moment, together, connected, watching the light creep over the sharp formations of the canyon. To Samantha, it felt like an end, and also a beginning.

  ‘Shall we head back for breakfast?’ Samantha asked.

  ‘I think I might need to stand under a hot shower for an hour too,’ Lizzie said. ‘I can’t believe it’s so cold here.’

  ‘It’s the wind.’ Jaddi hooked her own blanket further up her body, burying the bottom half of her face in it.

  They walked quickly back towards the car park and hotel minibus Caroline had arranged for them.

  ‘Any word from your parents, Jaddi?’

  Jaddi shook her head. ‘They need some time. My mum didn’t hang up on me the minute I told her, which I’m taking as a good sign.’

  Samantha wrapped an arm around Jaddi. Watching Jaddi and Suk together for the past few days had made her realise what a relationship should be like. What love should be like. She hoped Jaddi’s family would allow themselves the chance to see that too.

  ‘What do you think, Liz?’ Jaddi said. ‘Sunset from a helicopter or sunrise from the rock?’

  ‘Oh, good question. I liked being with my mum and dad, and Aaron yesterday. It made watching the sunset feel really special, and coming back over the strip and seeing all the lights was amazing, but I felt closer to it sitting with you guys. It’s got to be the best one so far.’

  A sadness splintered Samantha’s buzz. She’d been so busy thinking about living her life, making plans, she’d forgotten that Lizzie couldn’t do the same. There had to be another way. There had to be something else they could do. It was a such a simple thought that Samantha wondered how she’d only just come to think of it. There had to be an experimental treatment Lizzie could try. Just because Lizzie had accepted her fate, it didn’t mean Samantha had to.

  CHAPTER 59

  Lizzie

  Lizzie closed the door to her bathroom, pulled out her camera and sat down on the tiled ledge surrounding the bathtub. Her image appeared on the camera screen. The left side of her hair was flattened against her head, and had tuffs sticking out at odd angles. The tip of her nose and her cheeks shone pink from where the biting wind of the canyon had chilled her face.

  ‘So last night I said goodbye to my mum and dad, and Aaron. I’m so grateful to Channel 6, and to Caroline, for flying them out to see me. The time we’ve spent together this weekend has been magical.’ Lizzie felt the emotion of last night’s goodbye well to the surface. ‘When I said goodbye to my mum and dad at the start of all this I knew I wasn’t being fair on them, but I had ninety days and the start of our adventure to think about. Spending time with them this weekend has been so amazing, but saying goodbye again was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’ A loan tear raced down her cheek.

  ‘I thought …’ Lizzie ran through the sentence in her head before forming the words, ‘… it was OK to be selfish, but now, I don’t know. A big part of me just wants to go home and cuddle my mum on the sofa, and eat her leek and potato soup, because right now, I really don’t know …’ Lizzie swallowed down the lump growing in her throat.

  She drew in a breath and changed the subject before she said something she couldn’t take back. ‘So tomorrow we’re flying back to LA, and the day after that we leave for Brazil.’

  ‘Lizzie,’ Ben said, knocking on the door. His voice sparked an explosion of fireworks inside her. ‘Breakfast is here, and Caroline wants a word with all of you before she goes.’

  ‘I’ll be out in five,’ Lizzie rep
lied, powering off the camera and staring at the door for a moment. She could see the shadows of his feet from the gap underneath the door. She had a sudden desire to yank it open and drag him into the shower with her, but she didn’t.

  They hadn’t spoken since he’d lifted her onto the bed. Since they’d ripped off each other’s clothes … since he’d pulled her close so that every part of her naked body was touching his. A burning hunger spread through her.

  Lizzie tiptoed to the shower cubicle and started the spray. She glanced back at the sliver of light from the doorway. His feet had gone.

  Was he avoiding her? Was she avoiding him? Or had there simply been no time to talk away from the camera crew that had been following her with the assiduity of her own shadow. One thing was for sure, it wasn’t just adrenaline or shock that had brought them together. Every time she looked at him, the same yearning pull now grabbed hold of her, willing her to step into his arms.

  Lizzie stepped into the shower and immersed herself in the prickles of hot water.

  Bright sunlight spilled through the vast expanse of the window and painted rectangles on the soft carpet of the living room as Lizzie made her way to the edge of the sofa and the silver trays of food.

  Samantha sat at the end of the L-shaped sofa, her head bent forwards, her face fixed in concentration as she scrolled through something on her phone. A slice of toast sat untouched beside her. Lizzie was glad to see her friend so happy, she just hoped it wasn’t masking part of the shock.

  Jaddi sat cross-legged next to Samantha, munching on pastries in shorts and a cut-off T-shirt, which displayed not only her flat stomach, but the heel-shaped bruise left by David’s shoe print. Her hair was still wet and made wet lines on the back of her T-shirt.

  ‘So did you girls enjoy your surprise trip to Las Vegas?’ Caroline turned from the window and beamed at them. Her smile dropped as her gaze fixed on Samantha. ‘I meant other than that …’ Caroline laughed her tinkling laugh before fixing her eyes on Lizzie. The thin line of her eyebrows jumped an inch.