First Kiss (Sweet N' Sour Kisses

by Cindy M. Hogan

  Just as I was about to say we should wait, he said, “I mean, it wouldn’t be a date and I’d just have a bunch of friends over, ya know?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his face hopeful.

  “Sure,” I said. It wouldn’t be a date, after all.

  “Great!” He hugged me quickly again and hurried up the steps.

  I leaned my back on the brick wall surrounding the hot tub. I closed my eyes and balled my hands in fists then squealed. I had just had the best early birthday party ever.

  If only I could say the same about my actual birthday.

  Chapter 2

  The weekend was a bizarre mix of mundane and monumental, everyday events spiced up with birthday wishes, gifts, and this vague feeling of promise and importance that seemed to accompany me wherever I went. The feeling followed me to school on Monday, and even though everything that morning was pretty much business-as-usual, I couldn’t shake the sensation that significant things were about to happen. And they did—right before lunch.

  Ali and I usually drove home to eat or ate in our car, so after the lunch-release bell rang, I headed out to meet her. In the parking lot, I noticed some girls from swim team walking in my direction, which was strange because I’d never spoken to these girls—ever. I moved out of their path, since I assumed they were just trying to get by me, but they continued on a crash course with me. They had seemed to stare at me at swim practice more today than usual, but I had attributed that to my pre-birthday glow. All six stopped in front of me like a group of bullies would do in a movie.

  “Hi guys,” I said, attempting to disguise my confusion behind a smile. Hanna, the obvious ring-leader, smiled like a shark and went straight to it. “Are you and Luke dating?”

  I cocked my head to the side and squinted. “No.”

  “No?” She raised her eyebrows at me.

  “No.” I raised mine right back.

  “I thought he was taking you out tomorrow.” She shifted her feet and looked puzzled.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, we are going out tomorrow. However, we aren’t dating.” I made quotes with my fingers.

  She rolled her eyes. “Well, we thought we better warn you, Luke is trouble. He’s dated almost all the girls on the swim team, and it was a nightmare for everyone involved.”

  The five girls flanking her all nodded.

  My gut twisted.

  I opened my mouth, planning to demand an explanation, but before I could say anything, Hanna spun on her heels and marched away, her cronies following after her. She stopped for only a second, turning her head to call out, “Anyway. We thought we should give you a heads up.”

  I still couldn’t seem to work my tongue. I just stared after them until they disappeared into the building. Even after they’d gone, I still couldn’t move. What they’d told me was ridiculous. Luke was such a nice guy—he’d always treated me with respect, and being around him was always fun. I’d been so excited when he’d asked me out for my birthday, because I’d known he would be the perfect guy to break me in to the dating world.

  I had been the only new female sophomore this year to join swim team and I couldn’t help but notice that the guys had been curious. Ali was right. I was the latest and the greatest. Almost all the guys talked and flirted with me, but I’d seen them flirt with the other girls, too. The guys were all very friendly. When Luke asked me out that first week, I made sure everyone knew that I wouldn’t be dating until I was sixteen. Most of the older guys ignored me after that—once they realized I was unavailable, they treated me like I was nonexistent. But Luke was different. Not only did he keep talking to me, but he treated me like a friend. He watched out for me and encouraged me in my races. He never made me feel pressured, but as soon as my sixteenth birthday approached, he asked me out and made me feel like a princess when he did. So he dated a lot—wasn’t that what we were supposed to do in high school? He was a great guy, and it would be a great first date.

  Finally I pulled my backpack higher up on my shoulders and started walking again to the parking lot. They must be jealous. They’d never liked me, and now they just wanted to ruin things for me. Ugh, girls could be so petty.

  As I walked, a needling memory came into my mind: a conversation I had had with a girl on the swim team only a few weeks after school started.

  It was right after one of our swim practices. Makenna must have noticed I’d been talking to Luke a lot—and, I’ll admit, staring at him when we weren’t talking. She and I were the last in the locker room, and just as clicked my lock shut and started to walk out she’d approached me.

  “Brooklyn,” she’d said hesitantly, touching my arm with just her fingertips as if she wanted to hold me there, but was too afraid. “Listen, I just want to warn you… Luke and I dated over the summer, and…” she looked down and bit her lip.

  I frowned in confusion and took an involuntary step back. “What are you talking about?”

  She sighed and let her hand drop to her side, “It’s just—he didn’t treat me very well Brooklyn, and I’m worried about you.”

  “Why would you worry about me? You know I don’t date until I’m sixteen. It’s not an issue.”

  “Just be careful, ok?” And then she left, and I didn’t have a chance to ask her about it again.

  At the time I’d shaken off her comments, but now it was starting to make sense. Hanna and her pals were friends with Makenna, too. She must have put them up to talking to me about him. Geez, she really didn’t want anyone else dating him, did she?

  I reached Ali’s car, where she was waiting for me, a look of annoyance on her face. I pulled my backpack off and hugged it as I flopped into the passenger seat beside her, letting out a huge sigh as I did.

  “What took you so long?” Ali said, turning the key in the ignition and roaring out of the parking lot. When I didn’t answer she finally looked over and saw my face. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Ugh!” I groaned. “Stupid drama—why do some girls have to be so flippin’ dramatic? It gives the rest of us a bad name.” I filled her in on what had happened with Hanna and waited for her reaction. Ali was blunt to a fault, so I was a little worried about what she might have to say.

  “Oh my gosh, drama queens!” she exclaimed, and I grinned. Having Ali on my side was a great feeling. “They are so totally jealous of you, Brook.”

  “Seriously!” I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Why do they have to make it into some big showdown?” I flipped my hair over my shoulder in a dead-on impression of Hanna. “We’re warning you, Brooklyn, Luke is trouble. Stay away from him.”

  Ali threw her head back and laughed hysterically. “Oh my heck, Brooke, when you do that voice you actually almost look like her!”

  I laughed, too. It felt good to make fun of Hanna. It made the nagging feeling in my gut go away for a bit.

  “It’s not like Luke is the only guy you like, either. Geez, those girls should just mind their own business.” She smirked and turned into the McDonald’s parking lot.

  I blushed and pretended to peruse the menu as I thought about what she said. It’s not that I was boy crazy exactly, I just didn’t see why I should limit myself to just one crush. How was I supposed to know who I really liked until I dated them? I was interested in a lot of guys, including Luke. He and Ryker were probably on the top of my list, though.

  Ryker was the best swimmer on his team. He didn’t go to my school. He went to Northridge High. Their team, Davis High’s, and ours, all practiced together. Ryker had an older, more mature look than Luke. I’d say he was handsome, while Luke was hot—if that makes any sense at all. They weren’t really comparable. Where Ryker was composed and quiet, Luke was flirty and loud. I wanted to date both, but Ryker hadn’t done anything to make me believe he was interested at all. Luke had made it clear that he was, and I was going to take advantage of that.

  We ordered, ate, and headed back to the school, all the while making fun of Hanna and her gang. After
a while we tired of that and the conversation turned more serious.

  “It’s just one date, anyway,” I said, “and I’m not even going to kiss the guy.”

  Ali raised her eyebrows at me. “Does he know that?”

  “Of course he does! He knows my standards.”

  “Yeah, but, a lot of people have those ‘standards’ around here, but you know most people ignore them.”

  The squirrelly feeling in my stomach was back. Did he know I didn’t want that?

  Ali saw my discomfort and patted me on the shoulder, “Just make sure you tell him before the date. That way, you’ll both know what to expect. I’m sure he’ll respect you.”

  I smiled. She was right. I’d just talk to him about it. We headed back into the building.

  My mind raced all through lunch and last period—which never happened to me—ever. I always paid strict attention in class. I didn’t want to miss anything. The girls that missed things were boy crazy and tended to have boyfriends. I would never be like that.

  When the final bell rang, I startled out of my thoughts and sprang into action. I needed to talk to Luke and fast. I rushed down to my spot where I always waited for Luke so that I could at least say goodbye to him at the end of the day. I’ll be honest, it was my stalker spot.

  He saw me before I saw him. His hands grabbed me around the waist. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” he whispered in my ear. “Bring a suit and when we reach the falls, you can get in them.”

  I turned, a shockwave rushing through my body. What exactly had I wanted to say to him? I wasn’t sure anymore, so I just smiled.

  “I’ve got to run, but I can’t wait to be your first kiss.” He winked at me and took off out the doors of the school, leaving me standing there, mouth agape. I was in big trouble.

  The next day, I woke before my alarm. It was an incredibly annoying habit of mine. I always woke three minutes before my alarm. No joke. Every stinking day I beat my alarm by three minutes exactly. It was a curse. Today I didn’t mind, though. I shot out of bed. I raced into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. I moved close, looking every inch of my face over. No zits. I almost never got them. It drove my sister crazy.

  I hoped I looked different. I didn’t want to look like a fifteen-year-old anymore. I wanted to look like a sixteen-year-old. I didn’t seem to look any different, though. My same blue eyes peered back at me. My rosy, thin upper lip, full bottom lip, and thin body seemed completely normal. I don’t know what I thought would happen, but today had to be different. I was different, so my life had to be different, right? I was sixteen, and I could date. In fact, my first date was tonight and we were going on a hike to a waterfall.

  I huffed and yelled at myself like any self-respecting teen would do when things weren’t going their way. “Why do you look the same? You should look different. You should look more grown up. What’s wrong with you?”

  My reflection didn’t answer, so I stuck my tongue out and rolled my eyes.

  The memory of what Luke had said about being my first kiss popped into my head. I sighed. He was teasing, right? Just being a silly flirt and tease, like the guys at my birthday party. I’d just have to text him and set the record straight, to make sure there weren’t any false expectations. I didn’t want to lead him on or make him think more was going to happen than really would. I pulled out my phone, rapidly fired off a text, and hit send. Lips to yourself tonite, k? Brooklyn = good Christian girl. I smiled; it was the perfect combination of clear, but light—so he wouldn’t take offense. You know, the whole, “It’s me, not you.”

  I put the clothes on that I’d set out at the beginning of the week—a long, slim fitting skirt with floral print, paired with a dressy, red top and strappy heels. I left my hair down and gave it a wavy curl. Heading out my door, I saw a box of Lucky Charms at the end of my bed. A smile crept onto my lips and a warm feeling entered my belly. My parents remembered that I’d decided Lucky Charms was my favorite cereal this year. Nothing better than a fun birthday box of my favorite cereal. I raced upstairs.

  “Happy birthday, sweetie,” my mom said, giving me a kiss on the forehead. “You look super cute. I love how you did your hair.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said, breezing past her to grab a bowl and have breakfast. “I didn’t want to wear a dress on my birthday, but we have a swim meet today.”

  “I’m glad they make you dress up for meets. I wish you’d wear dresses more often. You look so pretty in them.”

  “But dresses don’t belong at school. What if I fell down the stairs or something?” I huffed. This wasn’t really a hypothetical question. I’d already fallen down the stairs twice this year.

  “Good thing swim meets are early,” my mom said, changing the subject. “What do you want for your birthday dinner?”

  “Chicken Alfredo with your homemade rolls. No vegetables, Mom. It’s my day.” I poured milk onto my cereal.

  “Not even corn?” my mom said, taking a seat next to me.

  “Corn’s okay if you get the frozen, sweet kind that tastes like candy.” I took a bite.

  “Will you be offended if I make some veggies for me and anyone else who wants them?” My mom raised her eyebrows.

  “I don’t want them anywhere near me. You can eat twice as many veggies for lunch to make up the difference.” I snickered, then winked at her.

  “All right. It’s your day. I’ll respect that. Veggie hater.” She pressed on my shoulder as she stood up.

  I gave her a friendly, dirty look and kept eating. My sister moped into the room, sleep heavy on her face. She still had an hour and a half before school started. It was a sacrifice on her part to wake up and wish me a happy birthday. She wrapped her arms around me, said, “Happy Birthday, Sis.”

  I hugged her hard back. She plopped on the seat next to me.

  “Lucky Charms, huh?” she asked. “Share with your sister?”

  “One bowl, but only because you got up so early to wish me a happy birthday.”

  “I can’t promise strict compliance, but I’ll try.” She got up and left the same way she she’d come. She’d be back asleep in less than two minutes.

  “Have you met all the couples that are going on the date tonight?” My mom asked.

  “Not yet, but I will tonight. I hope I don’t feel totally out of place.”

  “Don’t start with getting all anxious now. Remember, this dating thing is supposed to be fun.”

  My phone vibrated, and I grabbed it. My dad was wishing me a Happy Birthday from work. I suddenly got a flood of happy birthday wishes on Facebook and texts filled up my phone. A flurry of tingles swept through me, and I even laughed a little. Then, I saw a text from Luke. Happy Birthday, Brooklyn! Tonight is gonna be awesome! Can’t wait! No mention of my text. Maybe he just hadn’t gotten it yet.

  Outside, Ali honked. Time to go.

  “Love you, Mom,” I yelled, running out the door.

  “You, too.” I heard her call out to me.

  Chapter 3

  Luke still hadn’t texted me back by the time we got to school. I’d have to find him and make sure he understood. I’d also hoped I’d get a text from Ryker. So far, no such luck.

  “Thanks for the ride, Ali! I can’t believe that after tomorrow I’ll be picking you up.”

  “I’m not sure if I want to go driving around with Miss Crazy Driver.”

  “You’ll be surprised at just what a great driver I am.”

  We pulled into a spot in front of the school. “I’m going to hurry in to see if I can catch Luke and make sure he understands the whole no kissing thing.

  “Good luck.”

  I planted myself in my spot in the commons and searched the room. The first bell rang and I waited as long as I could before I had to high-tail it to class. I sighed, telling myself I’d see him at lunch. No biggie.

  I couldn’t help it. I spent all of first period imagining what would happen if I just let Luke kiss me, after all. The stories I’d heard about first kisses at my
birthday party invaded my mind with a twist. Instead of starring the real people involved, Luke and I were center stage. He moved in for the kiss. I didn’t move away and then clank, our teeth cracked together, the sound and impact giving me the most horrible of headaches. Directly following that one, Luke sent slobber dripping down my chin. Embarrassing scene after embarrassing scene flashed through my mind. But, there was one with soft, warm lips gently pressing mine, minty breath, and musky cologne tantalizing my senses. Luke’s imaginary fingers brushed up and down my arms in a spine tingling rhythm. The moon and stars danced in the sky as the perfect kiss landed on my lips. I kept shaking my head each time it snuck into my mind, trying to dislodge it, discount it, and deny it.

  Had something happened to my mind when I turned sixteen? Nothing physical seemed to have changed, but mentally, something very bad had happened. Why was I thinking about kissing at all? Was it just because I was sixteen now or was it because I was scared out of my wits about kissing—and that Luke could try—tonight?

  A shiver of excitement, mingled with horror spread through me as I thought about it. What would it be like to kiss someone? Then, I realized I had thought about kissing boys before today, but in truth, I’d never let the thoughts linger. I’d banished them almost as soon as they’d entered. I’d had to. Boys were off limits.

  I had to concentrate in Physics, we were doing a lab, but the second the bell rang, I took off for the commons—to find Luke.

  Out of nowhere a rush of guys ran up to me. A lightness filled my chest and my pulse raced. What was going on? Giggles threatened to explode out of my mouth and everything became crystal clear. Each boy stopped only a foot or so from me and held out a pastel colored balloon to me as they fell to their knees. Luke stood behind them and continued to walk right up to me.