Up for Forever

by Heather Young-Nichols

  Apparently they were, almost best friends raising their two kids because Adam has a younger brother. It was so weird. I just didn’t get it because in my world, you don’t still love your spouse after so many years, married or not.

  On this trip, he wanted to take my car but insisted on driving which I scoffed at because no one had driven the car I’d gotten two weeks ago as a graduation gift. Since I trusted him, I handed the keys over putting him in charge.

  Little did I know that I’d be spending two hours in the car. It was a nice drive though, not rushing toward or away from anything. His hand squeezed my knee in excitement a couple of times talking about his new job and the apartment he’d found while teasing me that I hadn’t gone with him to see it. My defenses went up as I reminded him everything I had going on at the time. I’d been looking for an apartment a few weeks ago as well, though hadn’t found one yet. I’d also been getting all my car stuff in order because I had to get a Michigan license since I was staying for the immediate future.

  “Whoa, calm down. I was kidding.”

  “Oh … ok.”

  Finally, he pulled into a parking lot. I started looking around to figure out where we were.

  “No way,” I said with a smile.

  “Well it’s somewhere you said you wanted to see and as far as I know, haven’t yet.” He really put some thought into this one.

  “No, I haven’t.”

  Out of the car in a rush, I stood outside the Fredrick Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park. This was one of the places I wanted to go since coming to Michigan but never got around to it. I’d mentioned it freshman year.

  I couldn’t believe he remembered.

  Chapter Four

  In college I majored in Art History because that’s what I loved. I wasn’t an artist by any measure but I sure enjoyed every other people’s talent. My minor was the pre-law stuff because I knew I’d be going to law school but art was my love.

  We spent the morning exploring everything blooming in the indoor gardens. I knew what waited outside for us but there were some beautiful things inside. Adam was patient as I looked over everything carefully, taking my time for each detail. The only thing he insisted was that before we went out to the sculpture garden, we have lunch at the café inside which suited me just fine. I’d already worked up an appetite.

  After sandwiches and side salads, we headed down the path to the sculpture park. I stopped at every single exhibit. Once again, he stood by patiently waiting for me to get my fill, never once hurrying me along or acting bored or any of the crap other boys would do. He knew how much I loved this stuff.

  Finally, once the sun had started falling in the sky, the gardens were closing and we had to go. In the almost empty parking lot, I stopped him.

  “Today’s been kind of perfect, you know?” I said quietly because statements like that were so unlike me yet no less true.

  “Not done yet.” His lips quickly brushed mine sending all kinds of sparks afire in the pit of my stomach. “I want you to see where I’ll be living.”

  With that, we were back on the road. Only this time it was much shorter a ride until we pulled into an apartment complex. A really nice apartment complex. He hopped out, met this older man who he talked to briefly then was back, pulling the car around to the other side.

  When he opened the door, I didn’t know what I expected to see. Maybe something along the lines of where he currently lived with a million roommates. It wasn’t that at all. Although empty, it was still beautiful. Everything was warm toned with windows that would flood the room with light. Adam had an open floor concept with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. It looked brand new. Two bedrooms gave him enough space for anything he would need and while it only had the one bathroom, it was impressive with its marble tile, walk in tub, and separate shower. Everything was completely high end.

  When Adam accepted the job in Grand Rapids, we talked very little about it. Although his decision came after mine to stay in Michigan, I know he had a couple of different offers. One in California near Sam, which Sam pulled for, one on the east coast, which never seemed like a viable option when he talked about it, and this one. It made me wonder just how much he was going to be making because this place couldn’t be cheap. It was really beautiful.

  “Impressed?” he asked right against my ear.

  “It’s ok.” I felt the small chuckle more than I heard it because his chest was right against my back.

  “You know, there’s plenty of room for two.”

  I spun. This was the first time I’d heard anything about a roommate. I stood there, almost eye to eye. His blue ones with mine.

  “You want a roommate? I thought you were done with all that.” Adam looked pretty amused but I didn’t know why.

  “No. Not just any roommate. I was thinking maybe you—”

  “Stop right there, mister. I’m staying near school. It’d be like an hour commute. That would suck. I think you’ll do fine on your own.” He worked his jaw, scratched at the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave off that morning, and just stared at me like he was deciding his next move. I didn’t think Adam calculated each decision very much but in that moment, I thought maybe he did.

  Finally, he spoke. “Anyway, just wanted you to see it.”

  After he locked everything up tightly, we headed back to Cain’s, stopping to grab a bite along the way. Adam grew a little quiet, which was so unlike him, but I thought maybe all the driving had tired him out. We had been in the car for five hours total. I think I was wrong.

  The apartment was dark and quiet when we got back. It wasn’t overly late, maybe nine, but Flannery obviously hadn’t been back yet. I asked Adam if he wanted to watch a movie or something but he said he’d rather just go to bed. I hated to admit it but we’d had a really busy few days and I wouldn’t mind a little sleep, too.

  But we didn’t sleep.

  Crawling into bed after changing, Adam pulled me close to cover my mouth with his. Now, normally we were a big ball of energy, need, desire, and anything else you could think of. But his kisses were slow even when mine became demanding. He set the pace and it was a leisurely one that drove me insane and to the edge almost right away. It wasn’t usually like that with us. Sure, sometimes it was slow and gentle, but something about his touches was different.

  His hips pressed me into the mattress while his tongue continued to tease mine to the point I was panting like a dog in heat. Super attractive. Even after we were both naked and he’d claimed all the good parts of my body with his mouth, he stayed at the slow and teasing.

  “Adam,” I breathed out hard. “Come on … ”

  His cocky smile had me wanting to claw his eyes out. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. Denying the release I had already been so close to was pissing me off, making me fill with an aggression that he refused to let me unleash. When I tried to make things turn in another direction he brushed me off in his very intent and concentrated way. Not that I’d say a word because it was kind of a turn on.

  Finally, he locked my wrists in one of his hands over my head and pushed into me gradually. Rolling his hips against me made my hands fight their way free so I could pull him against me harder. He didn’t budge, instead keeping up the long, lazy strokes. But his mouth nipped and sucked its way down to my breasts driving everything to another level.

  “Ugh,” I groaned, “I hate you so much.” I felt his smile against my skin, and his breath as he chuckled made me shiver to my toes.

  “Doesn’t sound like it.”

  “Adam, come on … I can’t … stand … ” My words were swallowed when his mouth devoured mine again like he owned it. Owned me. The thought should have sent the feminist in me running to prove the opposite but I couldn’t be bothered. His kisses were still gentle but so much more demanding until we were both once again gasping for air, searching for a release that, at least for me, had been denied.

  Then we found it. The pleasure that wracked my body was unl
ike anything I’d felt. It came in waves, with each one crashing harder until it subsided all together. Adam kissed back up my neck until I couldn’t take it anymore from the way my body had become oversensitive. He pushed off, taking me in his arms so I could burrow right into him. I felt like a ragdoll that could be dragged along wherever someone wanted to take me. And I’d really enjoyed where Adam took me.

  “Was I loud?” For the first time in a long time, I could feel a slight blush creep up my cheeks. I’d been so lost, so out of control of myself I didn’t know. “I honestly have no idea. I feel like I woke the neighbors.”

  “No.” He kissed the top of my head. “You weren’t silent, but no.”

  “What the hell was that?” He’d upped his game that was for sure. Adam had skills long before we got together. Perfectly honed skills after two years together. I didn’t think he had the ability to surprise me. Oh boy did he surprise me.

  “Ah, do we need to have a ‘bird and bees’ talk?”

  “No,” I laughed back, slapping his rock hard chest and propping my chin up so I could at least see him while he looked down at me through those long lashes. “I just … we aren’t usually like that.”

  “It’s been like that before.” That was true.

  “Yeah, just not often.” That was even truer.

  “Are you complaining?”

  “God no.” He laughed louder, the jerk. He knew exactly what he’d done to me.

  “Kendra, just go with it.” Those were the last words I heard from him that night. I fell asleep soon after that with my naked body completely relaxed against his.

  In the morning, Adam was gone when I woke up but I found a text waiting explaining that he had to go sign his lease, get the keys, and stop in at work for some pre-employment paperwork. So, instead I hung out with Flannery who was all a buzz with cute little Vaughn stories. When I asked her if that meant she wanted to start popping out babies as soon as the wedding was over, she dry heaved. It took everything in her power to not actually throw up at the thought, which I found hilarious and couldn’t help but show it. Kids would come eventually but not right away. She wanted time to enjoy being young. At least I’d have my friend for a while longer before being completely bogged down with little Cain’s hanging off her.

  On a Thursday in May we started planning the wedding. It was just the basic stuff since the mothers would want to be involved in anything major. Obviously I was the maid of honor. There was no question about that. But when she said she wanted Ava to be her only other bridesmaid, I choked on my coffee. Ava had been in the freshman dorm with Flannery and me. Then sophomore year, no matter how hard we tried, Flan and I were separated. I got this girl Esmeralda and she got Ava. Since Ava and I hadn’t always gotten along, Flannery tended to be the peacekeeper, but when Flannery got herself into that pickle over her virginity, Ava and I got a lot closer and stayed that way. I still wouldn’t call her my best friend but I would call her a friend.

  The event would remain small with strict instructions to his parents to keep the guest list short. Actually, Cain told them that if he’d never met them or couldn’t pick them out of a line-up, leave them off the guest list. The real plans would start with a meeting on Monday morning.

  That night, my roomies went out to dinner giving Adam and me the apartment alone on the last night he’d be staying with me. In the morning, his new address would be in Grand Rapids. After four years of seeing each other almost every day at school, it was going to be weird. Kind of like when I moved and wouldn’t be seeing Flannery every day. The whole world was changing and I fucking hated change.

  We ate in. Which quickly progressed to not eating.

  The thing I liked most about Adam was his ability to make me melt into him with the slightest touch. We were explosive. The first time we had sex after that Halloween party at Sam and Cain’s, I knew I was keeping him around for a while because he could play my body like a fiddle right out the gate. There’s a lot to be said about that kind of chemistry. I hadn’t found that in anyone else before him and once I did, I had to keep him around for a while.

  His lips became so demanding on mine that I couldn’t breathe. In the best way possible. But I couldn’t take the chance that Cain and Flan would come home so I wiggled my way out from underneath him on the couch. The harder he tried holding me in place, the more insistent I became.

  “What—”

  “Bedroom,” I said with a heavy huff of breath, my heart ramming against my chest in an almost painful way.

  Stumbling down the hall, my hands slid up each side of his torso taking his shirt with them. The hard planes that somehow crossed his upper body jumped with each light touch of my fingers. Adam yanked my shirt over my head just as he hit the door with his foot, causing it to slam shut.

  Chapter Five

  Pushing him down on the bed, I climbed on top, my lips devouring his. This … this is what we’re good at. Adam’s fingers tangled in the loose strands of my hair, which was long enough it almost reached my breasts. He said it was sexy as hell. Air was something our lungs needed even if I cursed that need and we broke apart to breathe again. I kissed across his jaw while his hands ran down my back to grab my ass.

  From his jaw, I worked south, covering his neck (adding a little nip here and there because he liked it) then continued down his chest. His skin held just the hint of salt when my tongue crossed my lips. Getting to his pants, I kissed just above the waistband before popping the button, which got me a rough sigh from him. He knew where I was headed and it added to his excitement.

  “Please tell me what I need to do to get you to Grand Rapids with me,” he said quietly into the dim room.

  Freezing for the briefest second, I decided to pretend I didn’t hear him. It was just words uttered in the heat of the moment. They had to be. Climbing my way back up, my lips brushed his softly, a basically nothing of a kiss yet somehow so much more intimate than the others.

  “Stop talking.”

  His hands pushed my hair back so he could kiss me with the fire of ten thousand suns, it scorched my lips, burned my tongue while his fingers crawled their way into my jeans.

  “I’m serious, Kendra. I don’t know how I’m going to function without my daily dose of you.” He touched our lips together once more then whispered, “This is forever.”

  That was not what I wanted to hear. My entire body tensed and I had to get away. Away from his words, away from him, just away. There was no such thing as forever and if I’d learned anything, it was to be wary of those who thought there was. Off the bed in the same movement that resulted in my shirt being in my hand, I pulled it over my head while backing away.

  “What’s wrong?” The shirtless man in my bed looked at me with surprised eyes, propped up on his elbows watching me lose my shit.

  “Why would you say that? We were having fun.”

  “What are you talking about?” He hopped up then followed me out of the room. I needed more space between us. I was thinking the Grand Canyon sounded about right. I at least needed to be outside the room I could smell him in and too easily be swayed by my body’s demands.

  “Jesus Christ, Adam.” My words came out so loudly it surprised even me. “That isn’t even what this is. This,” I waved between the two of us, “is just for fun. Then you go get all feely on me?”

  “The fuck this is just fun and you know it,” he yelled back, pulling his shirt over his head. “I’m in love with you. You know this. And you love me whether you want to admit it or not.”

  I reeled back feeling like I’d been slapped in the face. How dare he tell me how I feel? A fireball of anger formed in my chest and if I were one of those superheroes that could call upon their special power with the snap of their fingers, Adam Burger would be a smudge on Cain’s wall. This is why normal people don’t get superpowers.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Adam. I don’t fall in love.”

  “Oh that’s right,” he continued talking too loud. I’m sure the neighbors
could hear every word we said. “You’re Kendra Roberts. The girl who couldn’t possibly love someone as much as she loves her shoes. That’s bullshit, Kendra. You’re not the cold-hearted bitch you pretend to be. I know you better than anyone else. You’re doing this because you’re scared. So just calm the fuck down and let’s talk.”

  “Fuck you, Adam. You think you know me but you don’t. This was fun while it lasted but you’ve become too attached.”

  The front door to the apartment opened quickly with a hard hit on the doorstop startling both of us. The hope that this whole spectacle would be done before they got home was completely dashed when Flannery stopped short, taking in our disheveled hair, wrinkled clothes, and angry faces. I can’t imagine what we looked like.

  “What’s going on in here?” Flannery asked when she came through the threshold. Neither of us answered so she said, “We could hear you in the parking lot.” Cain stood behind her. I had no idea how long he’d been there but I’m guessing not long. Still, how embarrassing.

  “Adam?” She turned the brown rays of truth extraction on him. Because Flannery could get the truth out of just about anyone with a glare. It was her superpower.

  “I guess we’re breaking up.” His voice had a hard, cold quality he only brought out when there were things he wasn’t saying. I shouldn’t know that about him. That alone told me this was partially my fault for getting too comfortable.

  “No, you’re not.” She sighed like she was dealing with petulant children.

  “You don’t have to be such a fucking girl about it,” I countered her with a little, ok a lot, of misplaced venom. This was not that big of a deal. People stopped seeing each other all the time. It wasn’t an occasion for dramatics and tears.

  “Flannery,” Cain glared at me then touched her shoulder, “maybe we should … ”

  “No way,” she growled back.