Indecision

by Brittany Fuller

  “We should probably be going if we want to make our reservation,” I nervously say to the girl, who not only hasn’t stopped staring at me but surprisingly also hasn’t stepped away from my grasp.

  Finally, after what seems like an endless nerve-racking minute, she blinks, then smiles. Tearing her gaze from mine, she looks back at the man in front of us then speaks. When she does, the sound of her voice reaches a place deep inside me, igniting something I can’t put into words. To hell if I know why, but it feels like coming home.

  “Of course, dear,” she states sarcastically, batting her eyelashes for extreme emphasis. She clenches my arm hard—any harder and I swear she’ll draw blood. “That is unless our friend wants to have a drink with us. We don’t want to be rude.”

  Her eyes flicker with something I am not quite sure of as she glances back my way. A flush grazes her cheeks, and she seems slightly nervous. I cock my head to the side and stare. A sly grin unintentionally graces my face. So, she’s going to play along. A little shocked and very much relieved, I settle into the possibilities of whatever might come out of this.

  The three of us all stop to look at one another, each one of us wondering who will make the next move. Seconds pass. Then a minute. Right as I begin to swear this was the worst idea I have ever had, the man in front of us breaks our three-way stare. He waves his hand as if to say “to hell with the both of you.” Mumbling something under his breath, he then turns and walks away. I immediately exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding as I turn and look back at the beautiful woman next to me, and damnit if I can’t help but smile. Random jerk in a bar - 0. Noah - 1.

  Noah

  The air becomes so thick in the moments that follow kissing a random stranger in a bar. Wondering what the best way to cut through the silence is, I figure the strongest knife in the world is perhaps even too dull to ease this tension. Standing back and having to now come up with an explanation, I’m beginning to think maybe running and hiding sounds like the best available option.

  In the time it takes to find words to speak, a million thoughts run through my mind. Do I tell her how long I was watching her? Do I mention that I noticed her down by the pier? Do I say anything at all? How the hell have I now succumbed to starring, stalking, and kissing random women in bars?

  Her beauty is mind blowing. Her presence is overpowering.

  As I stand here staring, I realize I’m completely helpless in her presence. Standing only a few feet apart, I can almost feel every thought I have fleeing my mind. Unable to find the brain power to form a simple sentence, I stand in front of her, searching for anything that holds any sort of worth to say to her … yet I have nothing.

  I’m amazed that she doesn’t immediately turn and walk away. Her blue eyes dare me. Her posture, although standoffish, is enticing and sexy as hell. She’s evidently expecting a great explanation. With each passing moment, any logical explanation I can come up with seems to be just a stupid excuse to kiss a beautiful girl in a bar.

  The fact that I find it impossible to form even one sentence in her presence is something that has never happened to me before. Sure, I have had my moments where nerves have gotten the better of me when starring into a pretty face. But actually speechless? Yup, I am totally losing it.

  “I don’t normally do things like that …” I kind of stutter, finally beginning to find words. “I mean I’ve never done something like that.”

  I take my hat off and run my fingers through my hair, a nervous habit I have. If there was ever a time to be nervous, it’s now—when I’m standing face to face with unquestionably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and will ever see again.

  I watch as I see something flash through her eyes as she watches me. What it is, I can’t quit put my finger on. Whatever it is though makes me slowly smile as I watch as her cheeks flush the most adorable shade of pink once again.

  She has to know how pretty she is. It hurts to even look at her. It’s almost as if she was perfectly crafted just for me. I couldn’t dream of a woman more beautiful if I tried.

  She’s entirely out of my league. I would be the luckiest man in the world to have a chance with a woman like her. Too bad I will never know if she’ll give me the chance after the stunt I just pulled.

  I notice I still haven’t found anything more to say, and she still has yet to respond to my lame attempt at conversation. I can’t decide if she’s in shock from what just happened, or trying to call bullshit. I need to say something, anything, just to keep her here with me because hell I wouldn’t mind being able to look into those eyes just a little bit longer.

  My gaze falls to her mouth and I lick my lips. Those lips, I’d do anything to be able to taste them again. She’s the most intoxicating thing I have ever experienced. I know I could never get my fill of her. She’s the type of girl you let yourself drown in any chance you get.

  How is there something about this girl that renders me absolutely crippled in her presence? I can’t leave, even if I wanted to; and hell if I’m in any rush to go anywhere anytime soon. Where was she a few days ago when I really could have explored her? Explored this. Whatever it is. I’m not sure I will ever be the same after this feeling. How can something you have never had before suddenly be something you know you don’t want to try and live without?

  “My name’s Noah. Noah Stewart,” I manage to say as I clear my throat. “Let me at least buy you a drink after making such a fool of myself. It’s the least I can do.”

  She has to be trying to decide if I’m trustworthy enough to sit with, or if I’m as bad as the jerk that just left. Although she just watches me, and as much as she looks curious, I see doubt there as well. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope she will give me a chance somewhere behind that doubt. By the looks of her, she’s debating it.

  She squints her eyes, and her nose scrunches up as she angles her head to the side. Adorable mixed with sexy. Yup, I am absolutely in trouble. I stand there and watch the wheels turning in her head, wondering how I got lucky enough to even get as far as I have.

  All I want to do right now is grab her and show her just how much I’m nothing like she has ever had before or will ever get the chance to have again. When it comes to members of the opposite sex, confidence has never been my strong suit, but this girl makes me want to take that leap of faith. I resist even though I can feel the drive to do so vibrate through my body to my fingertips. I need to pull her into me and feel her against me just one more time.

  “Can I at least know your name, before you walk away and leave me having to guess it for the rest of my life?” I laugh, attempting one last time to make her stay. I’ve never begged before, but desperate times and all that shit. I’m not above groveling for this girl.

  She crosses her arms over her chest, still observing me. I glance down momentarily and notice her curves. Her body is the thing dreams are made of. Slender neck and shoulders, ample breasts without being overpowering, an hourglass waist leading to thick hips and long legs … Could this girl get any more perfect? Her indecision makes me anxious, and I begin to remember why I don’t have the confidence others have. Taking chances are nerve-racking as hell, but I can’t stop myself from trying if there is a way to make her stay with me just a little longer.

  Hoping she didn’t catch my roaming eyes, I glance up and meet her stare. Soon, a small smile spreads across her lips. She’s not walking away. Maybe there is hope for me. As much as I had no plans for allowing myself to fall for anyone, let alone her, I suddenly have an all too knowing feeling I don’t want to watch her walk out of my life just yet.

  “Evelyn,” she reveals with a smile. “Evelyn Monroe.” The gorgeous girl also has an elegantly beautiful name. I watch as her smile becomes bigger and notice the twinkle in her eye when she looks at me. Her eyes dance like I have never seen before. And I want to know what is behind them. I want to know everything about this girl who has somehow managed to stop me dead in my tracks.

  “Noah, is it?” she continues. “
I think you owe me a drink and an explanation.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I suppose I do, don’t I?” I beam at her. I know my grin has to be bigger than a five-year-old’s on Christmas morning, and I don’t give a damn. She just gave me the chance I was hoping for, and there is no way I am going to screw this up.

  Motioning towards the table, I quickly pull out her chair so she can sit down. I watch her body slowly lower into the seat and bite the inside of my lip trying to get myself to focus on something else besides the amazing body she carries so well. With curves any man would die to have his hands on, I feel myself once again itch to touch her and almost can’t resist the urge.

  Focus, Noah! There is no way in hell I can try to make conversation when my mind is wrapped around the idea of where my hands want to be instead. I’m one lucky son-of-a-bitch for a chance like this, and I know it.

  This trip down south is beginning to not be so bad. Now if I could just relax long enough to not scare her off, I might have the slightest glimmer of a chance after all.

  Evelyn

  Normally, if any guy walked up to me in a bar, swung me around, and kissed me, I would have slapped him into next week. Or better yet, kneed him where it counts and dropped that sucker to the floor!

  So what stopped me from doing that to Noah?

  Why did just the sight of him leave me weak in the knees?

  When he spoke, my mind went blank. Watching him adorably stumble over his words only somehow made me more intrigued. I could tell he didn’t know what to say, and yet I couldn’t even begin to find the words myself to help him. My mind was still foggy from the sexiest, most electrifying, lustfully perfect kiss that I have ever had. The man took my breath away … stopped my heart and restarted it all again with one mind-blowing kiss. What just happened between the two of us left me in a trance.

  I can’t think. Paralyzed, I feel as if I can barely breath.

  Sexy as hell, standing at about six-five or a little more, he has dark hair and the most crystal clear blue eyes I have ever looked into. A perfect five o’clock shadow grazes the lower part of his strong chin and gives him just enough rugged appeal that’s undeniably yummy.

  He has on a ball cap with a symbol I don’t quit recognize, no doubt for some sports team. Wearing a plain black T-shirt and dark blue jeans, he’s dressed so simple yet looks handsome and all together perfectly manly. A sort of eye candy I could never get tired of looking at.

  Noah’s fit without being to fit. You can tell he takes care of his body without obsessing over it, like it is a trophy to show off. A very pleasing and very rare thing in my opinion.

  My heart pounds in my chest, and my head feels dizzy. I feel anxious and nervous, not wanting to mess up and say the wrong thing. Being hit by a feeling I have never felt before, I can only stand here and hope he feels it too and that our kiss rendered him just as speechless.

  In a moment of complete chaos, I’ve never felt so at peace. In a moment of violation, I’ve never felt so protected and secure. In a moment where I should have felt disgust, even anguish, I feel nothing but desire and passion.

  Everything in me tells me to leave. Everything about this situation tells me I am crazy, that Noah could turn out to be the most terrible kind of trouble I had ever gotten into.

  But crazy has never felt so good, and trouble has never seemed so tempting!

  Sitting in Longboards with a complete stranger, I find myself feeling more alive than I have in a long time. He has a way about him that makes me feel at peace, almost as if we have meet before. There’s an ease to our connection which scares and thrills the hell out of me all at the same time.

  Even when my head tells me to run as fast as I can, I find myself not wanting to be anywhere else in the world but right here, sitting at a table making small talk with a man I find myself slowly wanting and needing to know more about. I love watching him smile and adore hearing him laugh. I blush more than once when his eyes linger on mine.

  The way he looks at me is enough to make any girl feel wanted, and after all, isn’t that what every girl dreams of?

  The lust in his eyes makes the air between the two of us electric. An undeniable spark between us gives me the best high I have ever felt, and a small part of me fears when he leaves I might never feel this way again.

  Our conversation is typical for introductions, consisting of questions generic to when you first meet someone. He asks me if I live in town. I mentioned this is my hometown and leave it at that. I have no clue how far he will dive into his world, and I’m not about to give up too much of my own.

  A waitress shows up and asks if we want a drink. I order another and can’t help noticing Noah orders a coke. The mere thought that he is in a bar and not drinking makes him more intriguing and piques my curiosity even further.

  “So you’re from here, huh? I wouldn’t have guessed that at all,” Noah confesses in a thick southern drawl that makes every good part of me tingle.

  I smile and say, “Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?”

  I debate telling him I don’t live in Southern California but see no point in giving up my truth. I’m sure I will never see him again after tonight.

  He fidgets in his seat, obviously a little nervous. Something about that has me feeling accomplished. Nervous means he wants to impress me, which hopefully means he’s interested.

  “No, I mean, it’s just …” Noah stutters. “I’ve been here a week and I haven't meet anyone like you. Well no one as normal, or, I mean down to earth… umm, or … well, you know...” he trails off, fumbling and stumbling over each one of his words.

  I just raise an eyebrow at him, aiming to keep him on his toes. I can’t hide the giggle that escapes my lips as I realize it works and he is at a loss for words once again. The butterflies in my stomach are at an all-time high from his closeness. I can smell the mixture of sun, sand, and man—an aphrodisiac lighting up every single one of my senses.

  “So, Noah,” I say as I try and hide the nerves just under the surface, “where are you from that everyone is so much easier to talk to?” I finish asking as the waitress returns and deposits our drinks on the table. I watch as he slowly wipes the condensation off his glass with his fingers. Involuntarily, my mind starts thinking about how those fingers would feel running the length of my body. Trying to focus back on our conversation and not read too far into his comment, I quickly take a drink to slow my nerves before continuing. “I mean … I can already tell you’re not from around here with that long drawl of yours.”

  With a huge smile on his face, Noah’s gaze meets mine straight-on. It’s a heart-melting, toe-curling smile that makes me thankful I am already sitting down.

  “No, darlin’ I’m not, I’m from the south,” he states, obviously very proud of the fact. “Kentucky to be exact. You know, where the bourbon is strong and how to bet on horses is something they teach you in elementary school.”

  “Bourbon and horse betting, huh?” I say, not having ever given Kentucky much thought before.

  He smiles slowly, “I was only kidding about that last part, but the Bluegrass state will take your breath away in a way these Southern California beaches never will.”

  “I take it you’re not that impressed with the West Coast, then. California not exactly everything dreams are made of, huh?” I tease back, not sure how to respond.

  “I didn’t like it all that much at first,” Noah slowly says as he leans closer, “but you’re making it hard to want to ever leave the table, let alone the state.”

  His comment startles me, his face now serious and smoldering. He intensely stares straight into my eyes, making his statement sink in, which in turn makes me melt right into the seat I’m sitting on. He looks at me like he could see right through me, and I can’t help but falter.

  God help me, how do I even come back from that one?

  “I bet you say that to all the girls.” I roll my eyes, smirking at him. When he doesn’t say anything, I continue. Rambling like th
e nervous girl I feel like inside. “Kentucky must be great. I’ve never been further than Colorado, so I wouldn’t know. Kind of sad, huh?”

  “That is sad,” he says. “I’d love to show you everything you’ve been missing. Front porch sittin’, drinking sweet tea and catching lightening bugs. Getting caught in a summer thunder storm.” Noah seductively flirts, leaning in and nudging his shoulder against my own.

  Just the smallest brush of his body against mine sends my head spinning and leaves me wondering how he has a way of making me feel like a nervous schoolgirl that has never been touched by a boy before? I smile, loving the effect he has over me. How, with just one small touch, he has the ability to make me feel so alive?

  My blood pumps at a rapid speed through my veins. Butterflies flutter in my stomach, and my head feels dizzy. The feeling he gives me is all kinds of crazy, and all kinds of wonderful too. It’s something I’ve never felt before, and I’m still not sure how to process.

  “You keep laying on those southern manners nice and thick and I don’t think you will have to convince me much at all.” I flirt back as my feelings intensify the longer I hold his stare.

  The feeling doesn’t last long, though, as we’re both startled when Gwen suddenly hits the table, almost running it and us over. She’s out of breath and looks a mess. I hate to admit it, loving the girl dearly, but this is no way to make a first impression. And I know her presence, both awkward and embarrassing, is about to get much worse. She’s hammered drunk, sweaty, and her makeup is smeared everywhere.

  “Ev, holy hell, we have to go! Like now,” she shouts, rounding the table and grabbing me by the arm almost pulling me down on top of her. We stumble before we catch ourselves from tumbling over. Noah rises from his seat to help.