Indecision

by Brittany Fuller

  “We always have enough wine, Evelyn,” my mother continues to scold. “Is that why you’re late? You took time for an unnecessary stop? Seriously, Evelyn Anne, you can be so inconsiderate!”

  Ignoring the harassing comment with a roll of my eyes, I push open the front door and am immediately greeted by wagging tails and slobbery kisses. A black Pit Bull-Lab mix and Golden Retriever run towards me, the pair very much a part of the family. I bend down and give each dog loving hugs and kisses. Reaching into my purse, I pull out treats I always keep on hand when I know I am coming to my parents. The dogs accept the treats enthusiastically and run off.

  Frank Sinatra’s “Luck be a Lady” fills the background, soft and low on the whole house speakers. It smells of Thanksgiving dinner and expensive scented candles. My dad comes out of the family room situated straight off the foyer. Scotch in hand, he’s grinning from ear to ear.

  “There she is,” he says, almost singing.

  “Hey, Daddy!” I smile back, hurrying towards him for the bear hug I know always awaits me. He smells like tobacco and Doublemint gum, a fragrance that I have grown accustomed to over the years. Like his hugs, it has also come to hold a sense of comfort for me. He gives me a kiss on my forehead, and I let him hug me tight like he did when I was a little girl.

  “She’s late, David,” my mother snaps, closing the front door behind her.

  She proceeds to stand there, tapping her foot on the tile, obviously waiting for my father to agree that being late is the most absurdly vile thing one could be. I roll my eyes and look at my father, pleading. He smiles, looking back with understanding.

  “She didn’t miss anything, Cynthia,” he says without taking his eyes off mine. “Come on, now, let’s get you a drink, Evie.” He winks at me reassuringly and drapes his arm across my shoulders as he leads the way into the family room.

  Once in the room, I notice most of the guests are spread out, already deep in conversation. Setting my purse down on the couch, I follow my dad to the bar in the back of the room. I sit down and roll my shoulders, trying to relax into the evening the best I can.

  My brother, Michael, has brought a date and is busy talking between her and his best friend, Rex Roberts. Gloria and Don Roberts are in the corner talking to Trevor and raise their glasses to me in a hello gesture. Gwen’s parents stand alongside them and wave to me as well. Trevor looks over, and I can’t ignore the intense longing in his expression—so much so that it makes me uneasy. Although, he seems more nervous than anything … for what reason, I absolutely don’t know. I nod in return and settle into my seat at the bar in front of my father.

  “Pick your poison, baby girl,” he says, picking up a bottle of Johnnie Walker and filling his glass to the brim.

  “Red wine, Daddy, and keep them coming!” I smile back.

  He nods, setting my glass down and filing it almost to the very top. Winking once more, he leans in closer. “A little liquid courage to deal with that hotheaded mother of yours.”

  I laugh as I catch my mother’s very disapproving glance from across the room. My dad immediately wanders off in my mother’s direction just as I’m joined by my brother, his date, and Rex. Rex comes up right behind me, grabbing me tightly around my waist and kissing me on the cheek.

  “Wow-eee, you get better looking every time I see you!” he hollers loud and obnoxiously, taking a seat next to me at the bar.

  “Really, Rex, that’s so gross, I don’t know where your lips have been,” I say, wiping his kiss away. “Besides, I’m like the little sister you never had.” I roll my eyes and smack him on the arm.

  “I just like to watch that one squirm,” Rex laughs, jabbing his thumb in the direction of Trevor, who is now hatefully staring back at his older brother.

  “You’re a twisted, twisted man, Rex Roberts,” I giggle. He winks knowingly and continues taking very long sips of his beer while his gaze surveys the room. He appears to be looking for something, or someone, which catches me as odd. I wonder if he, too, might have brought a date—which would be completely out of character as I have only ever met one girl in the long history that I have known him. And to say that they were actually dating is a long shot.

  Rex and I have more of a brother-sister relationship than the one I have with my own brother. We laugh and joke in ways Michael and I never do. When my brother disapproves of my poor life choices, Rex is right there for a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and a best friend to kick anyone’s ass that ever dared to mess with me. I have always thought our comradery was due to the fact that I was more like my father and Michael was more like my condescending mother, always ready to look down on someone that wasn’t exactly up to their standards. I never could understand why, being so different, the two boys got along so well.

  I cherish the brotherly love Rex gives me, especially when I lack it from my own brother. Rex is one of my most favorite people in the world. Nothing anywhere close to romance has ever happened between us, just pure love for each other in a best-friendship kind of way.

  “So, little sister,” my brother Michael says, clearing his throat with emphasis and putting his arm around his date, “when did you get home?”

  “About an hour and a half ago,” I reply, taking a sip of my wine. “Who’s the girl?” I ask, staring straight at my brother and his date.

  I’m fully aware that the girl is in fact standing right in front of me and can hear me and answer for herself if she wanted to, but girls like her never do. They just stare off into space, completely dumbfounded.

  “This is Amber,” he replies, staring straight down into Amber’s massive cleavage displayed so boldly I’m sure the neighbors can clearly see it.

  Amber just smiles, almost as oblivious to his staring at her fake boobs as she is to my rude question moments earlier. Michael has a similar taste in women as Rex does. Their motto seems to be the stupider, the easier, the more fake and plastic the better.

  My theory is this is their protection against long-term commitment. The girls Michael and Rex date are momentary pit stops on their life journey. Neither one of them have any intention of making them last longer than a few weeks tops. This apparent comradery, I’ve decided after all these years, is perhaps exactly what makes their life-long friendship last.

  “So …” Michael continues, his focus now back on me. “How was the O.C.?”

  “You were down south?” Rex butts in. “No way! I was there too, just got back last night!” He stands up and rounds the bar for another drink.

  “I just went down to see Gwen,” I tell my brother. “Just a few uneventful days, nothing big.”

  Rex cuts me off almost instinctively, “Gwen, really? How’s she doing? Is she still dating that douche bag from a few years back?” He pops open another beer then goes through the motions of pouring me a water. He knows me too well. I pretend I can handle my liquor, but he’s taken care of me on one too many nights where I ended up more talk than show.

  “Since when do you care?” I ask and notice a subtle hurt expression cross his face. “We spent last night at Longboards …”

  “We were there last night too!” Rex exclaims, cutting me off again. The mention of the “we” that escapes his lips doesn’t slip past me. “I didn’t see you guys though.”

  “Strange,” I manage, wondering who he was with last night. “The place isn’t that big.”

  “Well, I was kind of wasted,” Rex confesses. A very annoyed expression comes across his face as he continues. “I spent most of the night shacked up with some girl at a back table and now she won’t stop calling my phone…” he almost shudders, closing his eyes, obviously now scarred from the experience “…but still, what the hell!”

  “You already said what the hell,” I laugh, as Rex rounds the bar once more and takes his seat next to me. His back is against the counter as he surveys the room once more. Glancing back at me, he smiles a mischievous kind of smile that I have seen before, and it’s one that always means trouble.

  “We
all could have hung out,” he persists. “Three’s a crowd, but four’s a party.” He nudges me, trying to make a point, but I’m utterly and completely lost. I have absolutely no clue what he is talking about. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be the last either with Rex’s shenanigans.

  “You, me, and Gwen would still only make three, Rex,” I assert, annoyed. “And who, do you presume, would be the fourth?”

  Turning around, I stand from my seat as I face the direction Rex is just in time to see the one person I never thought I would ever see again. A million thoughts rush through my brain, and I immediately feel my cheeks flush. My hands spontaneously start to tremble.

  I whip around as fast as I can and sit down with my glass. With wide eyes, I stare down at the bar and wonder what’s the best next move to take as my heart thuds against my chest and my palms sweat. Rex catches on as I glance up and see my brother, luckily caught up in some sort of conversation with his date.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Rex asks. “You look as if you’ve seen a ghost!”

  “Noah?” I whisper.

  Noah

  Standing in the Monroe family restroom, washing my hands, I look up at my reflection in the mirror and repeat to myself, “Just a few more hours, you got this!”

  I turn around and dry my hands on towels that look way too fancy to even be touched. Shaking my head at how some people choose to live, I ready myself for the night ahead. Opening the door, I walk back to join the party in the living room, which is on the very opposite side of this very vast suburban house.

  Rex had been trying to get me up to the Monroes’ house for dinner since I had first arrived in Northern California. Rex grew up with the Monroe family and wanted me to like them as much as he and his parents did. Every time he asked me to join him for dinner, I had politely refused. Spending time learning how the upper middle-class enjoyed their liberties was not something I ever desired to do in my life.

  Normally, upon invitation, I would have refused again. This time, though, Rex played the mother card against me, knowing that my plan was to decline once more. Rex hadn’t even asked if I’d go but rather had me answer the door when his parents showed up unexpectedly. Rex’s mom gave me such a hard time and promised a fun evening. When that didn’t work, she gave me grief by saying how much she wished I would meet their family friends at least one time while I lived in California. I eventually caved, and fifteen minutes later, I found myself in the car driving to the house and the family I had tried to avoid since moving out here.

  I had met Michael Monroe a few times before and knew he and Rex had some sort of bond. They’ve been friends since they were in elementary school. I can’t say I mind the guy, but I wouldn’t say he and I are destined to be good friends—or even best friends like Rex and I are. Michael has an air about him that eludes to the fact that he thinks he’s better than everyone else. I rarely spend time in people’s company that hold such high opinions of themselves.

  Entering the living room, I can hear banter and laughter coming from the bar at the back end of the room. I know Michael’s younger sister is supposed to be at dinner, and if she is half as condescending as Michael is, I’ll need something stronger than beer to survive the night.

  Tell me again why I agreed to come tonight?

  Michael I can maybe deal with, but fake plastic chicks that flip their hair and bat their eyelashes at everything, I thought I had escaped that last night driving home.

  There is one exception, though. Evelyn. Good Lord, I can’t shake her from my head. And damnit, I didn’t want to. She’ll be the center of every fantasy of mine for a long ass time—and one I’ve indulged in more than I care to admit since she left me standing there needing answers in the middle of that bar on Main Street.

  Our connection. Our chemistry. Hell, the way I saw and felt her body react to mine. She seems only a dream, but I know it was real and find myself knowing I’d give anything if only I was promised one last chance with her.

  Evelyn hadn’t left my mind, and I wasn’t expecting she would anytime soon. I hadn’t felt anything like the way she was able to immediately make me feel in a long time, and the thought of where we could’ve gone, given a chance, is enough to shake me from my fantasizes long enough to regain a little sanity before she pulls me back under again.

  Although, however strong my fantasies, nothing could have prepared me for who I see sitting at the bar alongside Rex, laughing and joking and leaving me absolutely blown away. I stand back for a moment, drinking her in and silently thanking God that I agreed to come tonight.

  No way in hell! How could I get this lucky? I know I’ve just been handed the lottery of second chances and can’t wait a second longer to collect my winnings.

  As I approach the bar, she turns and looks me straight in the eye, then nervously swivels herself back around, giving me a perfect view of how her slender waist gives way to perfect round hips that fit snugly in a tight black dress. Imagining she wore it just for me, my mind wanders as I picture her getting ready while I lay back taking in the masterpiece of a show that is sure to be as I imagine her slowly wiggling into a dress that would make any man drool.

  Snapping back to the present, I hear her whisper, “Noah?” And the way she says my name leaves me immediately more aroused in her presence. I begin to think of her sighing it as I do the things to her that I have been fantasying about since last night. I want to indulge in every curve and touch every sensitive spot on her sexy as sin body if only she’d let me.

  “Lucky guess or is there something I should know?” Rex playfully asks, completely oblivious to the truth in his own question.

  She turns around once again and meets my stare. Sucker punched, I have to tell myself to breath as I stare into her eyes. Once again, I find myself not knowing who should speak first. Speechless and stunned, we both seem at a loss for words. Although, this time I don’t feel like I’m the one that has any explaining to do.

  Cocking up one eyebrow, I smile at her noticing her face blush and wondering how she would look breathless and flushed on top of me, underneath me, hell even looking back at me— I have to stop myself from taking my thoughts to the next level as she stares in my eyes.

  God she’s gorgeous. I’d take her anyway I could get her, if she would only let me.

  Time drags on anxiously as she sits, not taking her eyes off mine, which starts to make me a little nervous. I’m not one that suffers from anxiety, but I suddenly feel like the walls are slowly closing in. It’s as if everyone else is sucking all the oxygen out of the room, leaving me lightheaded.

  Last night after she left, I talked myself into the fantasy that she’d want to see me again, but does she? Maybe I had misread our chemistry. Fear I may be right makes it impossible to think straight as I look back at her eyes.

  “Oh no, we’ve met,” Evelyn says finally as a sly smile spreads across her face, one that instinctively matches my own. “Fancy meeting you here, Noah,” she continues over-dramatically. “You had to be the last person I thought I’d run into tonight.”

  “Likewise,” I smile back, exhaling a breath I didn’t know I was holding. It’s not the greeting that I fantasized about and played over and over in my mind while lying in bed last night, and again this morning, but it isn’t a slap in the face either.

  I see Rex out of the corner of my eye, looking at the two of us in disbelief. His head turning to Evelyn first, then to me, then back to Evelyn. Obviously in an extreme state of shock, his mouth falls open as he tries to understand what’s going on between two of his best friends.

  “Noah, you want another beer?” Michael calls out from behind the bar, and I silently thank God for his tiny distraction.

  “I’d love another beer,” I reply, smiling at Evelyn, pushing between her and Rex to take a seat at the bar beside her. Not sure how I have been lucky enough to end up in this situation, but I silently promise myself I’ll do everything in my power to not let this girl escape me again.

  “
This is that friend of mine that moved out with me after college,” Rex starts to explain, although he immediately changes the topic, obviously thinking our story is the one needing more explanation. “Excuse me, though,” Rex says, shaking his head and sounding completely puzzled. “How, and where have you two met? I’ve been trying to get him over here for months now, but he always refuses.”

  Evelyn’s eyebrows shoot up and her smile spreads across her lips. I stare a little too long at her mouth, remembering her taste and wanting to do anything just to be able to savor her once again. Looking up, I notice she is looking right at me, her blue eyes pulling me in like a magnet. Catching me in my fantasy, I can tell she knows exactly what I’m thinking and I’d be lying if I said I even cared.

  “So you think you’re too good for us huh?” she asks, teasing me. God what I wouldn’t do to tease her back, watch her body rise into a frenzy of need like the way she makes me feel; slowly taking my time as I torture her senses in the best way imaginable.

  “Well, if I would have known you’d be here, I definitely would have come a lot sooner.” I wink at her, shocked by my own confidence. I take a sip of my beer, never breaking eye contact. I make it a long sip, hoping it will calm the nerves I feel rising inside me with each second that passes.

  Her sexuality exudes back at me as she leans forward on the bar, and I unintentionally glance down at her cleavage pushed up just enough to make me want to see more. Glancing back up, she provocatively replies, “But then that wouldn’t have given us that wild and crazy night in the bar now would it?” She winks slowly, licking her lips for an added effect that has my heart beating out of chest. I catch my breath. Damnit, does she know what a turn-on that is? I’d love to give her wild and crazy, slow and sweet, or any way that she likes as long as I’m the one giving it to her.