The Waiting
Page 27
“Oh,” she whispered, stunned. “Oh.” She noticed a suitcase leaning against the mailbox and stared at it for a while. “Have you told Cal?”
“Yes. I’ve already said my goodbyes.” He sighed. “I wish I were the kind of man you deserve, Jorie. The man you wanted me to be. I wish I wanted to be a farmer, an Amish farmer, and wanted to stay here at Beacon Hollow the rest of my life. But I can’t be something I’m not.” He took his hat off and raked his hand through his hair. “You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s a shock.”
She peered into his face, searching it out. Something was different in him. A wound had healed. “I guess that’s what surprises me. I’m shocked . . . but not shocked. I think, deep down, I always have known you weren’t here to stay.”
He risked a look at her. “Think you’ll be able to forgive me?”
He didn’t understand; he’d always had such trouble understanding her and her faith. She reached out her hand for his. “Oh, Ben. I already have.”
They stood there for a long while, neither one wanting to let go. They heard the whine of the bus as it started to chug up the hill, and Ben’s eyes started glistening, but he released her hand and bent down to pick up his suitcase.
“Jorie,” he said, as the blunt nose of the bus appeared over the rise. “I hope I haven’t messed things up so badly with Cal that you can’t find your way back to each other.” The bus slowed to a creaky stop.
She looked down at her shoes. “He and Elsie . . .”
“Jonas’s sister? Nah.” He gave a short laugh. “You know our Cal. Takes him awhile to make up his mind, but once he’s done it, not even a stick of dynamite can budge him loose.” He put his suitcase down again and faced her. “Cal loves you, better than I ever could.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “May the Lord bless you and keep you safe, Ben Zook.”
He reached his hand out to caress her cheek. “And may he do the same to you, Jorie King.” He held her gaze for a long time, a look of settled peace, then picked up his suitcase and hopped up on the bus.
Jorie watched as Ben wound his way to a seat and waved at him until the bus disappeared around the bend. For a long time afterward, she stood watching the empty road, gripping her elbows, offering a prayer to the Lord over Ben and his future. To her, Ben seemed unfinished and rough-hewn, a man still waiting to happen.
Then she thought she heard someone call her name, just a gentle whisper on someone’s lips. She thought she only imagined it, but then she heard it again and turned toward the sound. There she saw a man.
It was Cal, standing at the turnoff to Beacon Hollow with his broad shoulders squared straight, spinning the brim of his straw hat around and around in his hands, his eyes soft around the edges. He was waiting for her, like he had been doing for months now.
Her heart stood still.
He smiled.
She started walking to him, slowly at first, then faster and faster. Soon, she broke into a run.
And then she was in his arms.
The Waiting
Reading Group Questions and
Topics for Discussion
1. A theme in this novel is that our memories – good and bad – shape us. Instead of trying to forget painful memories, the characters learn to embrace their past. But Cal reminds Ben, “This is a chapter. Not the whole book.” What is your response to that?
2. With which character do you most closely identify? Why?
3. Mary Ann wanted her family to see that her faith made a difference, even – no, especially – as she faced her death. In this scene, the family is drinking hot chocolate out on the front porch:
“Maggie, how do your hands feel right now, holding on to that warm mug after playing in the cold?”
“Good.”
“Really good?”
She nodded.
“But after a while, that good feeling fades away.”
She nodded again.
“In heaven, that good feeling won’t go away. That warm, good feeling is like the presence of God, and it will last for all eternity.”
How do Mary Ann’s words help you feel less fearful of death?
4. After Cal is beaten by Jerry Gingerich in the Deep Woods, Bud (the English neighbor) wants to inform the police and press charges. Jorie refuses, saying it isn’t the Amish way. Who is right? Do you struggle with not fighting back?
5. This novel is set in 1965 and attitudes reflect that ethos: the town’s reluctance to accept an African-American veterinarian (a true event in the author’s childhood) is one example. Another is the kinds of therapy used by the Veterans Hospital to try to help Ben recover from combat trauma. Are we more enlightened or accepting now? Have things changed for the better?
6. Ben told Jorie that he felt as if he was suffocating. What made him feel that way?
7. After Ben tells Cal that he killed a sniper in Vietnam, these thoughts run through Cal’s mind:
Cal felt shock jolt through him, to think his brother – for that matter, to think any Amish man – took the life of another . . . he felt sick with disgust. But he worked to keep his face empty of judgment. This was why his people avoided war, for just such a thing as this. Who knew how he would have reacted, had he been in the same situation?
Cal brings up two points of view before settling on the third. As you were reading, what were your reactions to his viewpoints?
8. What kind of a man is Ben? What do you see in his future? Do you think he will return to his Plain heritage?
9. Throughout this novel, Cal and Jorie never said aloud that they loved each other. Did they need to? Cite examples from the book that show their feelings.
10. What aspects of this novel particularly resonate with you?
11. What did you learn about Amish life while reading this novel?
Acknowledgments
I’d like to express my deep appreciation to my first draft readers – Lindsey Ciraulo, Wendy How, Nyna Dolby – who read the manuscript with tough and loving eyes and generously shared their insights.
As always, enormous gratitude to my agent, Joyce Hart of The Hartline Literary Agency, for being so helpful and steadfast.
A heartfelt thank-you to the entire staff of Revell Books, for making each book they publish the best it can possibly be. A book passes through many hands – editing and marketing and sales – before it ends up on a bookshelf: Erin Bartel, Michele Misiak, Deonne Beron, Claudia Marsh, Carmen Seachrist, Twila Brothers Bennett, Cheryl Van Andel . . . and so many others. Barb Barnes, whose deft, perceptive editorial touch was invaluable. And a special thank-you to my acquisitions editor, Andrea Doering, whose insightful questions helped craft the story more effectively. It is a privilege to work with all of you.
Above all, thanks and praise to the Lord God for giving me an opportunity to share the wonder of His reconciling love through story.
Suzanne Woods Fisher is the author of The Choice, the bestselling first book in the Lancaster County Secrets series. Her grandfather was raised in the Old Order German Baptist Brethren Church in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Her interest in living a simple, faith-filled life began with her Dunkard cousins.
Suzanne is also the author of Amish Peace: Simple Wisdom for a Complicated World, a finalist for the ECPA Book of the Year award, and Amish Proverbs: Words of Wisdom from the Simple Life. She is the host of “Amish Wisdom,” a weekly radio program on toginet.com. She lives with her family in the San Francisco Bay Area and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne’s way of thinking, you just can’t take life too seriously when a puppy is tearing through your house with someone’s underwear in its mouth.
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