Manic Pixie Dream Boy

by K. A. Merikan

  Dusk nodded, sitting in a leather swivel chair with his stomach in knots. He tried not to blink too much, to not miss even a second of Abe’s presence. In just minutes he would be gone, spirited away from his life forever, but Dusk knew taking the job was the right move for Abe, so no matter what his personal feelings were, he’d encouraged him to go for it.

  “We’ll wire you the cash once we’re paid for tonight,” Mage promised, but Abe shook his head.

  “Nah, it’s fine. I wanted you to have it. Think of it as a goodbye gift.”

  Dusk rose from his chair. “No! You worked night and day on it. Of course you’ll be paid. If you wanted to give us something, you should’ve got donuts.”

  Abe sighed, and his soft voice was easily heard in the silence broken only by the music outside. “No. It’s fine, Dusk, really. It’s enough if all of you think of me sometimes.”

  Dusk took a deep breath and grabbed a cold beer off the dresser, just to do something with his hands. ‘Sometimes’? For the past two days, despite this possibly career-making gig, Dusk could hardly think about anything other than Abe leaving.

  “We could never forget you,” Dusk said, too afraid to meet Abe’s eyes.

  “There’s always Skype,” Sid said with a shrug. “It’s not like Abe’s dying.”

  “We will miss you so much though,” Dawn burst out and gave Abe a tight hug.

  Mage shared a brief glance with Dusk and embraced Abe as well, saying his goodbyes as if he was about to leave any second. What time was it anyway?

  The tightness in Dusk’s chest was growing like a tumor. Was this it? Was this how Abe would disappear? In all his past relationships, it had always been Dusk who had to leave, go on tour, or just wasn’t into the person all that much anymore. Now that the tables had turned, he had no idea how to handle it. The group hug would have been too awkward, so he opened his beer despite not feeling like drinking it.

  Sid cleared his throat. “Mage, Dawn, how about we go and confirm the details with the stage guys?

  Abe’s gaze swept over Dusk, but he said nothing as the two other guys hesitantly agreed and followed Sid to the door. The floor thudded under Dusk’s feet, and the tremors wandered up his body, shaking his brain. He barely heard Mage reminding him to be there for the concert in half an hour.

  Dusk took a swig of beer and handed the can to Abe. “You ready for your big new project?” he asked, even though what he wanted to say was Please, stay with me.

  The sound of the door closing slid down Dusk’s back like a cool droplet. Abe’s blue eyes were warm and unfocused. Dusk wished to lean in and shower the eyelids with kisses until Abe chose to stay out of his own will.

  “It’s stressful, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. Never thought I’d have an opportunity like this. What are the odds, right?” Abe confessed, glancing up to meet Dusk’s gaze.

  “Well, you deserve it. Your career will take off after this, I’m sure.” In fact, Dusk had never met anyone as multilayered as Abe. Sweet and fun on the outside, in the prettiest of packages, a good listener, so supportive of what Dusk was doing, and yet also full of his own ideas and dreams for the future. Dusk wanted to be a part of it all so bad he’d peel his skin off and glue it to Abe. “I don’t think I’d have come out if it wasn’t for you. Thank you, Abe. You’ve really changed everything.”

  Abe’s Adam’s apple bobbed abruptly, and he combed his hair with his fingers, contemplative as he watched Dusk for a few seconds. “Does it feel good?”

  “Yes. I now feel people have a fuller picture of me. Young bi guys have also written to me that I helped them deal with their own feelings. It does feel great.” Would this be how things ended? Was he to just pretend that he wasn’t head over heels in love with Abe? That Abe leaving wouldn’t create a void inside of him? “But it won’t be the same without you.” Dusk whispered and reached for Abe’s hand. If he didn’t say what he felt now, he’d regret it to the end of his life, so there was no way around it. Abe could hate him for it, but Dusk couldn’t change how he felt.

  The slender hand twitched between his, and Abe’s eyes did too, getting more intense by the second. The vibrant, female voice of the vocalist on the nearby stage resonated through their bodies, but very slowly, Abe’s fingers closed around Dusk’s. “I know.”

  Those two words crushed the dam in Dusk, and he stepped closer, ready to have all his feelings pour out, no matter what they would devour in their wake. “I’m not trying to make you stay, I don’t want you to throw away your big break, or to even get any declarations from you. But I’d lie if I said I didn’t miss you so badly it hurt. You opened up something inside me I didn’t know existed, and now you’re leaving forever. We’ll Skype two or three times, text for a while, and that will be it, I just know it. I wish I could kiss you one more time.”

  Abe’s breath got louder as he stared straight into Dusk’s eyes, close enough to touch, and the hand that was squeezing Dusk’s streamed raw heat. Several times Abe opened and closed his mouth without producing any sound, but the hold he had on Dusk’s palm tightened, and he pressed his face into the folds of Dusk’s T-shirt, teasing him with warm breath.

  “It’s been good to be here.”

  Dusk slowly wrapped his arms around Abe, wary of being pushed away, but nothing like that happened. If anything, Abe seamlessly fit into the embrace. “With the band, or with me?”

  Abe exhaled and put his other arm around Dusk while squeezing his hand. “I never thought I could miss anyone. But I will miss you,” he said softly.

  Those words were like melted marshmallow poured over Dusk’s crumbled heart to piece it back together. “I’m sorry I put you through that whole Dully mess.” He kissed the side of Abe’s head. “But you’ve changed me for the better, babe, and I will never forget you.”

  Dusk crooked his head, and so did Abe, and then they were kissing, lips locked in the sweetest, most gentle of caresses. A whine left Abe’s throat, but he wouldn’t dislodge himself from Dusk and pushed on as if he wished to climb Dusk like a tree.

  Dusk wouldn’t let go either, as struck by the kiss as he’d been on the day they met. And yet this time there were so many more layers to the touch. It communicated so much more than words ever could. Even though this was goodbye, Dusk still poured all his love into the way his tongue made Abe’s soft lips part.

  Abe gasped into his mouth, clutching at the fabric on the back of Dusk’s T-shirt. He must have gotten to his toes, because all of a sudden he felt a bit taller, but instead of attempting to overpower the kiss, he moved their entwined hands to his tempting buttocks.

  That was all the green light Dusk needed to squeeze Abe’s ass, and a surge of unadulterated adrenaline spilled into his bloodstream. He had one last opportunity to hold Abe this way, and he wouldn’t miss it.

  Abe’s lovely scent was intoxicating Dusk already, and in the fervor of excitement, Dusk lifted Abe’s ass onto the dresser. It made the other beer cans rattle and roll to the floor. He couldn’t care less if they exploded. Abe was in his arms, allowing Dusk to touch and kiss, even if it was for the last time.

  They briefly stopped to look into each other’s eyes, but it was as if they were still sharing the same breath, warm air locked between mouths as their hands explored such familiar territory. Abe rubbed his nose against Dusk’s cheek, pulling him closer with his legs and pushing his fingers into Dusk’s long hair. He didn’t say anything, as if a single word could shatter the illusion of forever.

  Dusk pulled on Abe’s tank top to reveal all those amazing tattoos and the pierced nipples. But even with all that beauty on show, he still looked back into Abe’s eyes and kissed the trembling lips to soothe them. Blood was pumping down his body, and they didn’t have much time, but fuck it. He wouldn’t settle for a goodbye handshake if he could connect this way instead.

  Abe’s fingers sneaking under Dusk’s T-shirt made him groan into Abe’s lips. Abe had only needed two months to tune Dusk to perfection, and the loss of him was already pal
pable in the shadow of pleasure.

  Abe reached to Dusk’s pants and unzipped them in rapid movements of his fingers, catching his breath between intense kisses and touch that felt so real Dusk could barely cope with how he’d miss it once Abe was gone.

  “Will we? Do you want to?” Abe asked.

  “Yes,” Dusk rasped between one shallow breath and another. “One last time. I need you to remember me. I need you to feel how much I love you.” He sealed the words with a kiss, helping Abe pull his jeans down to the knees.

  Every move he made was more fervent, and Dusk wished time could stop and let them indulge in a whole night of this, and then another, and another, so that it never ended at all.

  Abe shuddered and hugged Dusk’s head to his arm. “Oh, God,” he whispered, and he sounded so upset Dusk almost pulled away. But Abe wouldn’t let him, pushing his lips on Dusk’s before he could have any more dumb ideas.

  The tangle of jeans at Abe’s knees was in the way, but they couldn’t peel them away without getting rid of his shoes first, and that was no priority, so Dusk pulled both of Abe’s calves to his shoulder and leaned down to have Abe’s back on the dresser. The moment Dusk’s dick brushed against Abe’s naked skin, Dusk’s whole body went up in flames of arousal.

  He blindly reached for some of the hand cream that had miraculously remained on the dresser, and his fingers went straight for Abe’s ass, greedy to open him up for a fuck that no other person would ever manage to top.

  Abe’s eyes flickered, but he wouldn’t close them, completely focused on Dusk above him. His flesh parted so easily for Dusk’s digits, letting them into the searing heat that Dusk would remember forever. No one else made him feel like Abe did when they were joined.

  “Come on, hurry,” Abe whispered, grabbing the front of Dusk’s T-shirt.

  The need in Abe’s eyes was all Dusk needed to see, even if Abe would never reciprocate the wild furnace of feelings inside of Dusk’s chest. “Fuck yes. My pleasure,” Dusk murmured just half an inch away from Abe’s lips.

  He watched the flushed cheeks and the fluttering eyelids when his fingers pushed in right up to the knuckle and started a vicious rhythm that would soon be followed in the same way by his dick.

  Abe moaned and rolled his head over the tabletop, his back arching off the dresser as his sphincter held Dusk’s fingers more tightly. The skin of his chest covered in darkening spots that soon formed a flush running all the way up his neck and to the handsome face. He moved his hips furiously and tugged on his cock, staring Dusk straight in the eyes. There was such temptation in the image he made that Dusk’s dick must have grown beyond its usual capacity and now throbbed painfully each time it rubbed against Abe’s thigh.

  “You better be ready, babe,” Dusk rasped with a growing smile, forgetting all about the fact that this fuck would be their last one. They would live in the now and take everything they could from it.

  Dusk pulled away his fingers and rubbed his cheek against the denim-clad calves on his shoulder as he pressed his cock between the slippery buttocks. He didn’t care if someone came in to rush him, or what time it was. Nothing mattered more than this moment.

  Abe’s mouth went lax. He grabbed at Dusk’s forearm, and the moan that left his lips was so uninhibited, so free that Dusk wished to lock it in a jar and keep with him forever. The blue eyes eventually focused on Dusk again, and Abe licked his lips before spitting on his free hand and smearing the saliva around his own cockhead. His gaze was warm, inviting, provocative, and all the things in between.

  Dusk pushed into the slippery hole with a groan of satisfaction. It felt like coming home. Like he knew who he was, and what his place in the world was. Abe’s body was so tight and hot around him, throbbing with need the same way Dusk’s cock was.

  To kiss him, Dusk had to push Abe’s legs closer to Abe’s body, folding him in two on the narrow dresser, but Abe didn’t seem to mind, already opening up his soft mouth in greeting.

  Dusk’s hair slid down his shoulders, creating a curtain around their faces, and in the dimmed light, Abe looked possibly even more beautiful. He hugged Dusk, keeping him down, even though being squeezed this way was making Abe breathless.

  At first, Dusk tried to rock his hips back and forth slowly, just enjoying the languid pleasure of feeling Abe’s body take him in over and over again, but impatience won in the end, making his movements quicker each time. He had to grab Abe’s legs when they started sliding off his arm, but that only meant Abe twisted his body, and Dusk got to fuck his ass at a different angle. Each of Abe’s moans was a triumph and made Dusk tingle from head to toe.

  Even twisted like this, Abe was still pulling Dusk closer, eager for kisses and touch. Dusk would give him all he wanted and this one more time, no barriers would be between them. No rubbers, but more importantly—no silence or lies.

  Abe’s face was was bright red by the time he started finally talking. It was as if pleasure unwound his tongue and let him freely speak his mind.

  “No one feels as good as you,” he whispered excitedly, watching Dusk with unfocused eyes. A sheen of sweat gave his skin a dewy appearance, and he twisted back and forth, as if unable to keep still in the face of such intense pleasure.

  “I’m all yours,” Dusk rasped. Abe’s words were like rocket fuel to his body, and only made the fucking more violent, more animalistic. Even though he knew it was impossible, Dusk wanted to permanently mark Abe as his, leave his cum inside for good measure, and never again have to worry about Abe leaving.

  The slapping of skin against skin, the sound of Abe jerking off, pushed Dusk over the edge. He moaned time and time again as his balls throbbed with the pleasure of coming into that beloved body.

  Abe’s toes curled, and a sudden tremor went through his entire body, culminating in a spurt of cum leaving his cock and splashing on the mirror. He held on to Dusk, shivering and moaning his pleasure until he milked the last of sperm from his own and Dusk’s cocks. Spent, he rested his face on the polished counter, briefly closing his eyes and just taking deep breaths to regain composure.

  In the slightly awkward position, Dusk’s cock slipped out sooner than he’d have wished, but he was still so happy that it didn’t matter. He leaned over Abe, trapping him against the dresser. The smell of sex and Abe’s cologne was what Dusk had been missing since they’d parted, and now it was flooding him so delightfully he inhaled deeply against Abe’s cheek.

  Warm arms snaked around his neck and held him there, and even the indignity of being halfway dressed couldn’t ruin the beauty of the moment. Dusk moved his nose over Abe’s neck and kissed it gently, trying to memorize each inch of ink. Abe’s face looked cleanly shaven, but there was a slight scratch to it, and he smelled of cotton candy and musk—such an unusual concoction and yet so perfect for him.

  Dusk nuzzled Abe’s cheek with a groan of satisfaction, still floating in the warm waves of pleasure and being accepted this one last time, but dark clouds were already looming on the horizon. Knowing that they would have to indeed part soon felt like a death sentence.

  Abe hummed and gently twisted a strand of Dusk’s hair in his fingers. “That was unreal,” he whispered.

  Dusk smiled against Abe’s skin and nipped on it with a happy sigh. “If we have to part, I needed to know you don’t secretly resent me. This felt so good. You’re not just a hot body to me. When we fuck, it’s like I fall into you.”

  Abe watched him for several seconds, his expression as unguarded as in the good old days that they had shared. Slowly, he rubbed Dusk’s hand. It seemed as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he just closed his eyes and kissed Dusk’s knuckles.

  Chapter 15

  An empty plastic cup was swept by the wind and knocked against the roller skates on Abe’s feet. He was slowly making his way down the few asphalt paths crisscrossing the festival grounds, but his muscles ached so badly he kept being slow. Whether it was because his backpack was now so heavy or because his heart was—he didn’t kn
ow. In the distance, a hard beat could be heard from one of the stages, but he was still closest to the one where The Underdogs were about to perform within minutes. Away from the crowd gathered to attend the concert, he made his way past a field full of tents and discarded items. Colors attacked him from each side, bright even in the dying sunlight.

  Even now, before the concert, he noticed people taking photos in front of the bus he’d painstakingly decorated. Maybe he could stay those five minutes longer? At least see The Underdogs enter the stage? Hear them play half a song before he really had to go?

  The loud cheering and applause meant that soon Dusk and his band would come out, and Abe couldn’t glue his eyes away from the huge screens on the sides of the elevated scene.

  Abe swallowed and stood in place, checking his watch. He still had maybe fifteen minutes to spare. It would be a tight fit, but he should be able to make the plane if he listened to one song.

  He was happy to go. Good things rarely happened to people like him. To people with no family, no luck, to people who just lived in the moment. He was grateful for this chance, yet deep down disappointment was simmering with heat.

  He still felt Dusk’s hands on him, and the slight burn of the rough fuck teased him whenever he moved, but they’d said goodbye, and kissed. That was it. And he couldn’t help feeling regretful about it. On the surface, he knew they were doing the right thing. Dusk’s passion for him would eventually evaporate, and he’d be left with nothing but memories, but still, Abe wished Dusk had asked him to stay.

  He would have rejected such selfish requests, of course, and maybe then leaving would have been easier, but no, Dusk had to be the bigger man about it. He’d even encouraged Abe to go and reach for his dreams despite revealing with so much vulnerability that he loved Abe, and that he’d miss him.

  No one had ever shown Abe so much tenderness.

  Abe’s aching heart beat faster when the crowd cheered. He looked at the giant screen spread out in front of a whole crowd of tents, and at once he couldn’t breathe when the familiar face appeared in its giant pixelated glory.