Forget Me Not (Love in the Fleet)

by Ashby, Heather

  And The Man had been intense. No doubt. All gung-ho jarhead. Not the kind of guy Sky would have figured Daisy would fall for. Interestingly, she’d been the one grinning in the photos. Well, except for the ones of Jack with his equally buff grunt buddies in the desert. What a beefcake shot that was. Shirts off, muscles flexed, fingers at the ready on their M-16’s. Sky loved seeing her so happy in the other photos though, except for why she was happy. Because she was with the love of her life.

  Shit.

  He’d noticed the pictures the minute he’d walked into her house. And it was a house. A real house. The kind grown-ups lived in. With coordinating furniture and real paintings on the walls and curtains and stuff. Not some Goodwill-parent-hand-me-down-collection-site like his apartment. She probably had the makings of balanced meals in her refrigerator. She probably had dishes that matched. She probably had dishes. He’d felt a little creeped out to be in her grown-up married house. But she’d alleviated his anxieties by telling him Jack had never lived there, reminding him that she’d moved home to Jacksonville after he’d died. Yeah, but they’d probably made out on that sofa and the remote probably still had his fingerprints on it.

  Daisy had walked to the fireplace and begun to remove the photographs. Sky was proud of himself for stopping her. If he was going to grieve, he needed to see the guy. And, duh, of course he wanted to compare himself to Jack. Damn. He wished he hadn’t. Jack had definitely been a pulled-together guy. He had Type-A, Oo-Rah Marine written all over his face. And Sky would bet his next month’s paycheck Jack had never once in his life shot off his mouth without loading his brain first. Now he wondered if Daisy had been laughing with him or had she been laughing at him?

  They’d talked for a while in the living room and then the awkward bedtime moment had arrived. He’d drawn the line at holding her in their bed. Daisy suggested they sleep in the guest room. Until he was ready. Hell, he’d been ready since he first laid eyes on her. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he made love to Jack, The Man’s, widow tonight. Especially in Jack, The Man’s, bed.

  And then he had a thought that stabbed him right in the chest. “Daisy, please tell me Jack wasn’t a Naval Academy grad.”

  “No, we met at Penn.”

  He exhaled a sigh of relief. “Good, because I might never be ready if that was the case.”

  “I was at the vet school and he was Navy ROTC. He’d wanted to fly since he was a kid.”

  “Know the feeling.”

  “He was younger than me; still an undergrad when I was in graduate school. God knows how we managed to date through those years, especially once he graduated and left for Quantico and then flight school. But we married right after my graduation from the Veterinary College.” She hesitated and then spoke low, as if thinking out loud. “When I graduated, I was so proud of what I’d accomplished, I didn’t want to change my name.” She lifted her head and looked up at him. “Do you think that’s what happened? That I didn’t love him enough to take his name?”

  He wrapped his arms around her. “No, Daisy. You, Daisy Schneider, earned your degree and you had every right to keep your maiden name as a professional name. I know you loved him with your whole heart. Because I know you, Daisy. There isn’t a selfish bone in your body. You care about people and animals, sometimes even more than yourself.” He paused, thinking it over. “So you were a Marine wife. Cherry Point? Pendleton? The whole nine yards?”

  “Yes.”

  “Geez, Daze, I never would have thought that of you. I mean you’re just Dr. Daisy to me, small town girl and vet extraordinaire. No way could I see you doing that officers’ wives’ stuff.”

  “Don’t worry. I rarely did. I practiced on the base at Cherry Point, though.”

  “So you’re fluent in Marine Corps-ese? Like “grunt” and “high and tight,” right down to the “Oo-Rahs?”

  “Ol’ Semper Fi. That’s me. Fortunately, I was in a profession where I could work wherever they sent us. Well, obviously I couldn’t own my own practice, but I could work anywhere, even overseas.” She paused, looking pensive for a moment. “Funny, I’d wanted my own practice since forever. And now I have it, but it’s not the same. I hadn’t planned on being a military wife. I wasn’t crazy about it. But I was crazy about Jack. And we’d promised to love each other forever. So there you have it. I’m sorry. You don’t want to talk about Jack, especially…” she indicated the bed.

  “Actually, I do. I think if I can kind of get to know him, I can process this better. But only if you’re cool telling me about him.”

  “Are you kidding? I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about him. I mean, there’s his parents, but they’re in Montana. We talk on the phone and I see them once a year, but it’s not the same. And his sister, but she’s married with young children. She has a busy life. There’s my parents, but they just worry about me moving on, so…” She yawned. “So thanks for letting me talk about him and thanks for listening.”

  “We can talk more tomorrow. I better let you get to sleep, baby.”

  “Brian, please.”

  “No. Relax. Tonight? You’re my baby.” He kissed her temple.

  Daisy snuggled closer. “So we’re just going to…?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Sleep?”

  “Yup.”

  “And you’re certain I can’t talk you into…?”

  “Nope. You can’t.”

  “This is really important to you, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah. It is, Daisy. That could have been me. And I wouldn’t want some joker in a flight suit slipping into my wife’s bed if I was killed in action, even though I doubt I’ll ever have a wife.”

  “Why not?” she asked, tipping her face up toward him, which made Sky want to devour her luscious lips.

  “For this exact reason. Because a guy can get killed in this business. And I’m not about to leave some poor woman alone like that. And the ones who leave kids behind...God.” He brushed his hand through his hair. “I’d have to think long and hard about it.”

  He settled for kissing her on the cheek. “Anyway, when I make love to you it’s going to be just you and me. No Jack in the mix. And I gotta tell you, finding out he was shot down is all I can think about right now.”

  “I can respect that.” She smiled up at him. Those ocean-colored eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’ll try not to tempt you.”

  Yeah. Like that was going to happen.

  She stretched up and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Good night, Brian. Thanks for staying.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Night, honey.” He switched off the light. “Sweet dreams.” And damn if he didn’t mean that. For both of them. Sky slid down onto the pillows and nestled her head on his shoulder. He, personally, wasn’t planning to sleep. He couldn’t risk any kind of dreams tonight and, besides, there was too much to think about.

  No wonder she’d come across as an ice queen. No wonder she kept pushing him and his freaking flight suit away. No wonder she never took time for herself, always losing herself in work and do-gooder projects.

  Her husband had died. His AH-1W Cobra attack helicopter shot down by a rocket propelled grenade in combat. Damn if Sky didn’t want to know every single detail about that firefight. But, give him a little credit, he hadn’t asked. Nor would he. Who knows? Perhaps she’d tell him all about it some day, but no way would he ask. At least he wouldn’t ask her. Maybe he’d call a few Academy buddies who’d gone Marine Corps. Or Google Jack—he didn’t even know The Man, The Proud, The Marine’s last name.

  Thinking of the Naval Academy triggered something in his head. If Jack had been so gung-ho to be a Marine Corps officer, why hadn’t he attended the Naval Academy instead of going ROTC? Or had he not been accepted at the Academy? Sky experienced a nanosecond of in your movie star face, Jack, The Man,
The Proud, The Marine. But the guy had died. Let it go.

  Or maybe Daddy had gone to Penn and Jack had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth? What was this? Was Sky jealous of a dead guy? Okay, a handsome dead guy who had been the love of Daisy’s life? Someone she’d promised to love forever? Yeah, maybe a little. He lay there thinking, stroking her hair, and listening to her rhythmic breathing.

  It was a full thirty minutes before the tears started. He’d repeatedly told Daisy it was okay for her to cry today, but had she cried since the parking lot? No. He was the one who suddenly found tears streaming down his face.

  What the hell was up with that? Sky carefully slid out of Daisy’s arms and slipped from the room. He opened the sliding glass door and let the dogs out into the fenced yard. Maybe some fresh air would help. But it didn’t. Waves of some kind of emotional shit kept washing over him and he had trouble catching his breath. What the hell was going on here?

  Sky snuck out to his truck and headed home to check on Daisy Mae since she’d been so sick that afternoon. Yeah, that was the reason he was running away from Daisy’s house. All he knew was he had to get out of there now, because the tears would not stop.

  He’d never experienced PTSD problems while awake—if this was some kind of Post Traumatic Stress thing. He didn’t even know who he was crying for, but he sobbed so hard he could barely see the road as he drove home. Great wrenching, snot-filled sobs. He pulled over and let it flow. Was he crying for Daisy or Jack or Daniel or Daniel’s wife and baby? All he knew was he hadn’t shed actual tears for any of them before while awake, but now the tears...

  Would. Not. Stop.

  Jesus Christ. Here he was. Almost thirty years old. Sitting in an abandoned parking lot in the middle of the night. Blubbering like a baby, bawling his fucking eyes out.

  What the hell was wrong with him?

  When the tears finally began to subside, Sky planned out his next line of attack. He’d pick up Daisy Mae and take her back with him. Tell Daisy he was worried about his cat and wanted the doc to check her out. But he knew the real reason. He was terrified he’d fall asleep with Daisy in his arms and flip out on her while dreaming about trying to save Daniel.

  Daisy Mae had gotten better and better at soothing him when the nightmares started. She’d lie on his pillow and lick his hair until he awoke. Usually it helped him come out of the dream a little smoother, but there had been a time or two when she’d nibbled on his ear or walked on his head and he wasn’t certain he hadn’t knocked her from the comforter, sensing her as a threat. He actually smiled for a second when he thought: She’s a cat. Surely she landed on her feet. Well, he couldn’t have been too destructive; she always returned the next night.

  Fuck. A Siamese cat had become his first line of defense.

  Sky pulled onto the road and headed home. He’d pick up Daisy Mae and her pills and some cat food—and he’d better bring her litter box too. Christ, what had happened to the Skylark? That dapper young helo pilot? Before he knew it he’d be carrying around a diaper bag.

  Sky was drowning.

  As always, he could not get Daniel’s harness to unbuckle. He felt, more than heard, the pounding on the cockpit window and knew if he turned, he’d see Jill’s long, dark hair flowing in the water. He started to yell, “I’m doing my best,” but when he turned to look, it was Daisy’s blond hair floating like yellow seaweed, not Jill’s.

  “Brian!” she cried. “Daniel’s dead. There’s nothing you can do to save him.” She opened the door and unhooked his harness and pulled him free. “Leave him. It’s okay. You have to move on.” Then she tried to pull Sky out of the cockpit, but he kept trying to shake her off. He had to go back for Daniel. Daisy grabbed his chin and turned his head toward her. Then she tapped him on the nose twice and said, “Follow me.”

  In no time at all, they were standing in the surf kissing, Daisy’s legs locked around his hips as she ground herself into him. She practically choked him with her tongue filling his mouth, but he fought back with his own. He reached down and filled his hand with her breast. His thumb going on cruise control. This time there was no sports bra. It was just T-shirt and Daisy. Her nipple puckered under his touch. He felt the tug to go back for Daniel but this felt way too good to stop.

  “Mmmmmm. Change your mind?”

  Sky awoke to find himself wrapped around Daisy’s backside with her breast in his hand, his thumb doing its thing. She reached up and stroked his fingers right before he snatched them away. Which, now fully awake, he did as if he’d touched a hot stove.

  His heart raced. Jesus, how could he have fallen asleep? What if the dream had gotten out of hand? And who was the fool who’d said, “I can’t make love to you?” Whose fucking bright idea had it been to grieve for Jack?

  Oh, that’s right, it was his.

  What was wrong with him? He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to hold her all night–without sex. Yeah, maybe he did need his head examined.

  “Mmmmm,” Daisy muttered as she stretched languidly. “This is nice. It feels so good to wake up with some—with you. I can’t believe you cancelled my entire day. And yours.” She turned over, curled into his arms, and reached up for a kiss.

  “Gotta pee.” Sky bolted from the bed, needing a secluded place to collect his scattered wits and some kind of mental calendar to figure out how long it was going to take for him to be ready to make love to her. And he needed a cold shower right now.

  This man of honor stuff truly sucked.

  Sky turned on the shower and let the water beat down on him. He needed to wash away the desire that had consumed his body—had he really woken up copping a feel? But he also needed to cleanse himself from that weird-ass meltdown he’d had last night. Christ, had he actually bawled his eyes out while awake? In a woman’s bed? Had to have been the shock of learning that her husband had died in combat—strapped in his helicopter, like Daniel had died. A shiver wracked his body. And it wasn’t from the cold shower. Maybe Philip was right. Maybe Sky needed to think about talking with someone about the dreams. Because this shit was getting out of hand.

  But he felt better the second he stepped from the shower: clean and fresh and none the worse for wear. Apparently Daisy Mae made her presence known in the guest room because he heard Daisy calling from across the hall. “Where did you come from? Brian, did you go get Daisy Mae?”

  “Yeah,” he called to her. “I couldn’t sleep and I was worried about her so I went home and got her. Not sure if I trust my roommate to give her the pills.”

  “Aw, you’re a good cat daddy. Come here, baby.” He heard Daisy Mae hiss as he finished dressing.

  Sky walked to the guest room doorway. Daisy was still propped up in bed, looking too fucking gorgeous for her own good, with her hair down and all sleep-rumpled. What he wouldn’t give to run his fingers through it. He busied himself towel drying his own hair instead, although his short buzz cut didn’t really need it. “So, uh, what are we going to do all day?” he asked.

  A sly smile crept across her face as she yawned and stretched. How had he missed the fact that she’d taken off her bra sometime before bed?

  Holy shit.

  “I thought I needed holding, Sky.”

  “Sky?” His heart damn near hammered out of his chest.

  “You said that’s what your friends call you. And…um…I think now that we’ve spent the night together, well, that makes us friends.”

  A jolt of sexual energy slammed him low in the gut. “Friends? You wanna be friends? Sure.” Had he just said that or was it some 13-year-old-boy with a cracking voice? “You have coffee? You want to go out and get some breakfast? Or do you have food here? I’ll go see what you have.”

  Sky headed for the kitchen. Jesus, he had to get out of that bedroom where Daisy sat on the bed looking sleepy and sultry and bra-less. “Or we could grab some chow a
nd go walk on the beach,” he called down the hall to her. Thankful she had an automatic coffee maker he pulled two cups hanging from hooks and began to pour.

  “Sure,” Daisy said entering the kitchen. “We can toast some bagels and take them with us. The girls would love an early morning run on the beach.”

  Sky sipped his coffee and peeked over the top of the cup, risking a glance at her. Whew. She’d put her bra back on when she changed her T-shirt. A man could only take so much.

  They headed down to the beach, which was deliciously empty since it was a workday. Sky had called in a favor at the squadron after he found out about Jack and was granted some comp time. The tide was out, so they ambled along, alternately holding hands and throwing a tennis ball for Belle and Godiva. While they waited for the dogs to retrieve, he focused on Daisy collecting seashells.

  He wanted her so badly. Not just in his bed, but in his life. Maybe Philip and Hallie’s words of wisdom were true. Maybe he’d been given a second chance at life after Daniel died. To do something positive in the world. Maybe he should figure out what in the hell was wrong with him because maybe he did deserve happiness. And maybe he could have it with Daisy Schneider.

  Nah, she’d never settle for Sky-speak-before-you-think-rough-around-the-edges-Crawford. She’d probably never get over Jack, The Man.

  We promised to love each other forever. That’s what she’d said. Damn.

  Daisy threw the ball, then took his arm as they walked through the surf, barefoot. Suddenly she stopped and turned to him. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  Uh-oh. Here it comes. What had he done wrong now? Sky uncapped his water bottle and self-consciously sipped from it. His gaze locked on those eyes the color of the ocean.