Breaking Beautiful (Broken Series #2)

by Amanda Bennett

  “Bennett, the doctor said no.” His stern voice was making my intense pull to him that much harder to resist.

  “I don't care what he says. I need you Gray, more than I have ever needed you before.” I wasn't lying. I really did need him. I needed to feel his bare skin against mine.

  “Trust me love I want you too, really I do. But, the doctor said it’s for the safety of the baby.” His head fell into his hands. He looked defeated, and that was so unlike gray.

  “Gray, what is wrong with you? You have been out of sorts since we left the hospital. Please, tell me what's really going on?” I pushed the palm of my hand against his beating heart.

  “I almost lost you Bennett, that's what is wrong with me.” He stood up quickly and began pacing around the coffee table.

  I knew when he got like this that I should just let him be, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.

  I slowly pushed myself up off the couch and walked straight to him. I pulled him into me with all of my strength. That's when Gray crumbled. The strong courageous man that I had always known and loved stood before me a totally different man. I'm not complaining. It was just weird to see him like this. I slide my hands onto the back of his neck and held him close as he continued to cry, for pretty much the second time ever!

  Eighteen

  Gray

  I didn't want to break down in front of Bennett. Hell, she had been through enough to last one person a lifetime. As much as I tried to keep the tears at bay, I just couldn't any longer. Something in me broke and for once, I knew I couldn't fix it. Bennett was amazing. Despite everything that she was dealing with, she still found it in herself to comfort me.

  From the day I had found her lifeless body, I knew I would never be the same. Now I'm a firm believer in the whole “everything happens for a reason,” but I was beside myself trying to figure out why this would have happened. I had never met anyone like Bennett. She was a force to be reckoned with and I wanted to be the one going along for the ride. She made me feel worthy and I wasn't about to give that up so fast.

  I never told Bennett what happened that night. I couldn't bring myself to do it. That night had haunted my dreams every day since. Oh she asked plenty of questions. She even told me that she wanted to know every detail, but there was no way in hell, that was ever going to happen.

  Unfortunately, I had told Theo almost minute by minute what I saw that night. I knew he would tell Hannah and Hannah would tell her, but I guess I would rather have her be the one to do it.

  All I can remember clearly is how much blood lay around her battered body. I honestly thought I had lost her. I was almost sure of it when I checked her for a pulse and couldn't find one. It felt as though my heart had been ripped straight from my chest. I wanted to run after the son-of-a-bitch and kill him with my bare hands. But I knew that if I would have, I would have lost the biggest part of me. I still had people on the job trying to find him, but so far no word. I wouldn't rest easy until that motherfucker was either dead or in prison. Especially, after his little hospital visit to Bennett.

  When we arrived at the hospital that night, all I could do was pray. I just knew that if I lost her so soon after getting her back, I would die myself. Doctors and nurses surrounded her lifeless body as I just stood back and watched. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help save her. I felt helpless and alone. I just wanted my Button back, alive.

  After they had surveyed the damage to her fragile frame, they immediately rushed her back to surgery. I was told to wait in the waiting room until the doctor came to get me. I was livid. I knew I couldn't be in the OR with her but I couldn't be expected to just wait around either. My mind went blank and still, just as my body had. Then a force stronger than myself took over. I ran to the hospital chapel faster than I had ever run before. As soon as my exhausted body made it up to the small mahogany altar, I dropped to my knees and prayed.

  I repeated the same prayer over and over, at least a million times in the hours that I sat in that chapel. When I heard footsteps approaching I blatantly ignored them. It wasn’t until I felt a strong hand grip my tensed shoulder that I finally turned to see who was with me. His tall, frail frame slid into the pew next to me. The aroma of surgical soap and latex filled my nostrils and I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I glanced over at his fallen face and prepared myself for the worse.

  He slowly explained that once they got her back in the OR, they had no idea how extensive her wounds were. He began twisting his surgical cap in his hands as he explained that once they thought the bleeding was under control, that's when she decided to fade out. She was technically dead for 1 minute. For one whole minute the girl that I couldn't live without was dead. After resuscitating her they moved to her abdomen to sew up the cuts.

  I must've tuned him out minutes later, because he was suddenly standing over me shaking my shoulder. I was in shock! All I had heard was that I was going to be a father. Tears threatened to spill over, but I held them back until after the doctor was done explaining things.

  Never in my life had I ever been so grateful for one person, but I was grateful for this amazing man standing in front of me. He had not only single handedly saved the love of my life, but he also saved my unborn child. I flung my arms around him and squeezed him tight. This man had changed my life, forever.

  *******

  I wrapped my arms around Bennett's back, squeezing her just as I did that doctor. I was too afraid to let her go. Her voice broke through my internal thoughts a minute later.

  “Gray, you will never lose me.”

  She sounded so sure of it, but I knew better. Mainly, because it had happened and I had to live through it. “I know Button.” I slide the back of my hand down her face and slowly pressed my lips to hers. I had forgotten how amazing her lips felt against mine. I wanted to feel all of her against me, even if we couldn't do anything. I slid my hands under the hem of her hoodie. With one swift movement, I was face to face with her ample breasts.

  I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was confused. I couldn't blame her. I had just told her there was no way in hell I was putting her or our baby at risk, and now I was practically ripping her clothes off of her.

  I pressed my lips against hers once more as I moved to take her breasts into my hands. I cupped each one, memorizing every inch of how she felt. Her head fell back in pleasure, but I knew that this was going nowhere. All I had to do now was let her know.

  “Bennett, we really can't do anything. I just need to feel you against me. Please come into the room with me so I can hold you.” I wanted to beg her but I knew she would agree either way. I was shocked when she told me no.

  “Gray it's not that I don't want to, I do. But honestly, I don’t think I’m strong enough to say no in there.” Her face fell and I instantly felt like the biggest douche bag in the world.

  “I'm so sorry, Bennett. I shouldn’t have even asked.” I brushed my hair back with my hand, all the while staring straight into her eyes. I was just hoping that she would forgive me.

  “Oh no, Gray I'm not mad. Please, there is no reason for you to be sorry.” Her lips lightly pressed against mine once more before settling her head against my chest. I slid my hands across the bare skin of her back. Her body shivered when I made my way up to her neck. A small smile swept across my lips. Knowing that I could still affect her in that way sent waves of pleasure through my humming body.

  Nineteen

  Bennett

  My back was extremely stiff when I woke the next morning. We had slept on the couch wrapped in each other’s arms. I ran the tips of my fingers across the hardened muscles of Gray’s upper body.

  I woke up extremely happy. I had the one man that I had always wanted. On top of that, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted me all the same.

  A small moan escaped his lush lips as my fingers ran across one of his nipples. I instantly pulled my hand back, not wanting to wake him up just yet. I pushed my body off of his and he rolle
d to his side, clutching the couch pillow.

  I quickly slipped in and out of the bathroom and then made my way into the kitchen to make us breakfast. I stood in front of the frying pan on the stove staring down at my nonexistent belly. I hadn’t had a minute to myself to process the fact that in a little over five months, I was going to be a mom.

  I was pulled from my revelry when the butter started crackling in the pan. I cracked open a few eggs and mixed them together for Gray’s omelet. As I reached for the shredded cheese, I felt his arms slink around my waist. His scruffy beard grazed my cheek as he planted a small kiss on the side of my neck. I simply smiled and tilted my head into his.

  We sat at the kitchen table moments later eating in silence. Just as I put my glass of orange juice to my lips, I was hit with a half-ton brick.

  “I think maybe, we should go to counseling.” His voice was hoarse with sleep and anxiety. And just like that, my good mood left only to be replaced by a shitty one.

  “Why?” I tried to keep the disdain out of my voice.

  “Don’t get me wrong here, I think we’re fine. But, I’m worried about you. Button, you have to talk to someone about all of this. Not just the recent events either. I think you need to talk to someone about everything. You’ve been through more than one person should ever have to endure. I just want you to feel whole again.” His eyes searched mine while waiting for my response.

  I knew deep down, it was the right thing to do. I just didn’t like hearing it from him. I already felt inadequate when it came to Gray and myself. This just made it feel that much worse. “Okay.” I whispered as I stood to take my plate to the sink. “But if I do this, then so do you.”

  He was already standing, pulling his body in my direction, “I agree.” His lips brushed across mine and all felt right again. Gray finished the dishes while I ran and took a quick shower. When I emerged from the steam filled room, I felt refreshed. The hot water had pushed all of the bad feelings down and out. I was determined for Gray and I to have a full and complete future, without living in the past.

  I quickly grabbed my phone from my nightstand to call Hannah. I hadn’t spoken to her since the day after her and Theo left, and I missed her. I smiled as I dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

  “Hi Han.”

  “Oh Bennett, how are you? I didn’t think I would hear from you so soon. How are you and Gray settling in?” I could tell she had a million questions to ask, but she stopped at those two.

  I let out a heartfelt laugh, “I’m doing good. Last night was a bit rough, but we got through it. I don’t know if I would call it settling in though. It seems like every time everything is starting to go good, something else happens to negate the good.

  “Oh Hon, I’m so sorry. When Theo got home last night, he told me all about it. I wanted so badly to be with you, but he said that you wouldn’t be at the hospital long.”

  “Its okay. He wants me to go to counseling, Han. I agreed but only if he went also. I just don’t know. I hate talking to a perfect stranger about my life.”

  “Bennett, if this is what he needs to feel safe with you, then I think you should do it. Nobody is going to judge you for having to go. I sure as hell won’t.” I could hear the smile in her voice again.

  “You’re right. Well, what are you two up to for New Year’s Eve, seems how I can’t go out.” I laughed.

  “Gray hasn’t told you?”

  “No.” My mind was suddenly over run with worry.

  “I’ll let him tell you. Go hang with your hubby. I’ll talk to you soon enough. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I pulled on my black velour tracksuit and went in search of my soon-to-be husband for an explanation.

  Twenty

  Gray

  I missed her already and she had only been in the shower for about twenty minutes. It was crazy, but sometimes I just felt like I couldn’t breathe unless she was near me. With so many close calls recently, I felt as though I needed to hold onto her tightly. I never wanted to see her hurt again.

  Seconds later, I heard her footsteps on the stairs and I rushed to meet her. “How was your shower, love?”

  From the look on her face I could tell she was either pissed off at me or extremely unhappy with someone else.

  “Well you might want to tell me what we are doing for New Year’s Eve because Hannah refuses to tell me what they are doing.”

  She huffed and puffed her way past me towards the living room. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my throat. “Button, come on. You can’t seriously be mad about that?”

  She turned on her heel and pointed her finger straight into my chest. “You bet your ass I can be mad about it. All of these secrets are really starting to piss me off.”

  I grabbed her by the finger and brought her body into my chest. I kissed her forehead just as I ran my fingers back through her wet hair. “Button, everyone is coming over here. I was going to tell you, I swear, but between the hospital and everything else I wasn’t sure if you would be up for it.”

  I knew she felt foolish the minute she heard my explanation. Her eyes softened as she leaned into my chest. “I’m sorry. I’m just feeling so crazy lately. This whole pregnancy thing, isn’t all its cracked up to be.”

  “I forgive you.” I whispered just below her ear. By her response, I knew that I had just sent goose bumps down the whole left side of her body. I smiled against her ear before I made my way back to the kitchen.

  “So, everyone will be here tomorrow night around seven. I figured we could have a small dinner and then celebrate the New Year a bit early so you don’t get too tired.”

  “Who’s everybody Gray?”

  “Us, Hannah, Theo, Jason, Heidi, Dr. Cutler and his wife and Vince and his new flame.”

  “Vince is in town?”

  “Yeah, he just got in last night. Him and his new girlfriend are staying at his mom’s house. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that part too.” I laughed to myself knowing she wouldn’t find me amusing. Little did she know I had one more big surprise in store for her.

  I made sure to have all of our close friends and family –well the family we had left- at what could possibly be the biggest moment in our lives. I was hell bent on marrying this girl before that baby came, and she was just going to have to go with it. Hannah and I had the whole thing planned out.

  Of course, when I called to invite Vince he said he had quite the surprise for me also. I didn’t know what in the world it could be. With Vince, everything he did ended up being a surprise.

  “Well, I’m excited to see everybody.” Thank God she was excited about this now.

  “Good. I would have been worried if you weren’t.”

  The rest of the day flew by. We didn’t do much and I didn’t even cook dinner. We ordered in some Chinese food and hung out on the couch, watching our favorite Christmas movies. Sure Christmas was over, but it wasn’t the New Year yet.

  Bennett fell asleep on me not ten minutes into the second movie of the night. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable, so I carried her sleeping body upstairs and tucked her in tight. As I was pulling our bedroom door closed, I heard tires throwing gravel up against the stucco on the house.

  I flew down the stairs and grabbed my gun off of the hall table. I ran onto the porch, gun cocked just as a lifted Ford F-350 went tearing down our drive. I turned to grab my phone from inside when I saw a note taped to our new front door.

  “You won’t be able to protect her forever. Trust me! Her time is coming.”

  It wasn’t signed, but I didn’t need a signature to know who had written it. That crazy son-of-a-bitch had the fucking audacity to show up to our house? If I didn’t want to kill the motherfucker before, as sure as hell did now.

  I swung the front door open hard enough that it bounced off of the wall loudly. I shook my head and tried to quietly close it behind me. I holstered my gun, making sure the safety was on and then made my way into the kitchen. I glanced down
at the note in my hand one more time, before burying it deep in the back of the top cupboard. There was no reason to worry Bennett unless absolutely necessary.

  I needed to calm down if I was ever going to get any sleep tonight. I couldn’t bring myself to head upstairs just yet, so I made my way outside after grabbing a beer from the fridge.

  I twisted off the cap as I stepped onto our back porch, chucking it across the half frozen lawn. I took a big pull on the bottle, closing my eyes trying to calm my damn nerves. I made my way out onto the lawn and kept walking. I knew Bennett wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. Pregnancy was making that girl sleep more than any one person I had ever known.