Falling for Change

by KC Lee

  “I must be going crazy. I could have sworn I was thinking that. Not saying it out loud. My god your eyes are so blue. No wonder you like that color.” I was rambling now, “What is it exactly? The color of the night sky just as the sun is setting. Amazing, like a huskie or a wolf. Don’t I know you from somewhere? Those eyes would certainly be hard to forget.” Real smooth Anita. Of course you know who she is. You haven’t been able to get those damn eyes out of your head. Why pretend you don’t remember? You just sound rude or dumb. Rude and dumb. What a night this was shaping out to be.

  The blue eyes blinked back at me in surprise as she stepped around nervously and thrust out her hand, “Blue. We met at the movie store, where you conned me out of my favorite movie. Then again on the street the other day, where you ran me over while drooling and mumbling I might add.”

  I took her hand shaking it to buy more time. Not really sure what to say I stumbled, “It was a really good movie, very informative. I mean if I ever wanted to become a mobster. Or a lesbian mobster I suppose. Anita. My name is Anita. It’s nice to meet you. I don’t normally sound this stupid. I hope not anyways. It’s those eyes. They suck you in.” She looked at me quizzically then smirked just a tiny bit. “Oh god I said that last part out loud. I seem to be doing that a lot tonight. I’m so sorry.”

  Blue look down a little embarrassed. Then let go of my hand turned and looked behind her to the couch. Four other women sat there staring back at her. One was giving her the thumbs up. Two were doing a turnaround motion with their hands and the last one was just laughing and flicking her hands forward seeming to tell her to go on and get it over with already. Blue turned back around saying, “Would you like to grab some coffee and come sit with me and my friends?”

  Looking around her tall frame I glanced up at her and said, “Those ones there laughing and doing sign language?”

  “Uh ya well, that’s them. They’ve been trying to get me to come over here and talk to you since you walked in the door. But I didn’t want to intrude on you and Tiny. Don’t tell anyone but Tiny scares us all a little bit. And she is very far from Tiny. It’s pretty common knowledge that whatever is Tiny’s property is hands off ya know what I mean?”

  “No. I’m not sure that I do. People are no longer sold as property as far as I know. Or are you implying because I am a woman I must be someone’s property because I’m not sure if you’ve looked in a mirror lately but you seem to have the same bits as me.” I could feel the smirk on my face but refused to smile all the way.

  Blue took a step back looked side to side eyes wide and stammered, “No..No that that’s not what I meant.” Taking a big breath she began again, “I just mean that Tiny is a bull dagger and is very possessive of things she cares about.”

  “What’s a bull dagger?” That was dumb I should know these things. Great now Blue is going to know I’m not a real lesbian and she’s going to run.

  “I mean she is quite large but I didn’t see any horns or a knife… does she carry a knife?” I rambled off still thinking about Blue. Too bad she’s cute when she’s flustered and those tight jeans look great on her ass. That tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination either. What am I saying? Why am I even noticing her ass or her tits. This is weird. I never noticed these things before. Now I can’t stop staring at them. Wtf.

  “Uh hey. Ya. Hi. Up here,” Blue smirked.

  Crap she caught me staring at her tits. I just know it. That’s why she’s smirking. Dang it.

  “You don’t know what a bull dagger is? Do you not get out much? A bull dagger is a lesbian with extremely aggressive and possessive tendencies i.e Tiny. So did you… ”

  “I just realized the time. I have to go. Apologies to your friends. Maybe we can go out some other time though. For coffee. Or whatever. Hand me your phone.”

  Handing over the phone Blue stood there running her hand through her hair. I handed her back the phone with my number in it and turned to walk out of the coffee shop. I swayed my hips a little more hoping she’d remember that and call instead of remembering the crazy person I was portraying. I had to resist the urge to turn around and see if she was watching me. With guys I knew they couldn’t resist the extra sway but women were a whole new ballgame.

  Chapter 5 (Or is it Just a Hit and Run?)

  “Blue, lets go. Blue where are you? Bllluuue! The girls are gonna kick your ass if we are late for dinner. It’s way past eatin time and they already pitched a fit about waiting until 6:30 to eat. Let’s go!” I could hear Becca screaming through the bottom floor of my house.

  “Shit what time is it? I’m gonna be late. Becca what are you doing here?” I yelled from my bedroom.

  “I just told you we were gonna be late. You know Marty gets hangry. She’s not always the nicest to begin with but when she’s hungry she turns into your typical angry lesbian listening to Bikini Kill.”

  “Oh shit, Becca I completely forgot about dinner with you tonight. I have plans. I can’t make it. What time is it?” I rambled off frantically buttoning my dark wash jeans and slipping into my shoes and making my way towards the stairs.

  “It’s 6:30 I told you we were gonna be late and now we are. What are you talking about you can’t come? You’re coming because you have nothing better to do. You never have anything better to do. That’s why we invited you to these stupid biweekly dinners. Because we don’t want you to forget what it’s like to have contact with humans. And now you’re gonna ditch? No. NO! I blew off Tara Tatas for this. You know Tara, with the” Becca held both hands in front of her gesturing large tits, “big bazoomas. Screw you. You are coming!”

  “I have a date. I can’t come. Tell the girls I’m sorry. And stop gesturing and calling Tara that. I’m sure she has more going for her than her ample breast size and would not appreciate being called Tara Tatas.”

  “Screw you Blue. Don’t act like you don’t love tits as much as Hugh Heffner. Besides, Tara loves that name.” she smirked.

  “Gotta go or I’m gonna be late. Lock the door behind you. Thanks Becca.” I dismissed Becca’s ramblings as I walked out the door to get in my jeep.

  Before getting into the jeep I bent to tie my dark brown leather boots. All I need is to trip, get dirty and have to change for the fifth time. It took me forever to pick out this outfit. A dark blue and red plaid short sleeved shirt with a lighter blue tank underneath, dark washed jeans and dark brown boots. The summer is just starting and the evenings are still a little cool so I won’t be hot in jeans and boots but I do run a little warm normally so short sleeves will keep me from getting too warm. Perfect. Now I just need to stay calm. The full moon will be here in a couple nights and I tend to get anxious the couple days before and stay anxious until the couple days after. Keep your temper in check Blue. You got this. Hanging my head partially out the window for the breeze I made my way into town.

  “I hate old people drivers. Get some glasses!” I yelled as a white

  Oldsmobile pulled out in front of me on Main Street.

  Dammit, I just got cut off and I’m never going to find parking and I’m running late. Deep breathes. The clouds were gathering in the sky making the evening seem a little darker than it should be for the dinner hour.

  “Dammit.”

  Slamming my fists on the steering wheel I accidently honked the horn. Startled from the horn I looked up and realized that not only did I honk at Anita but I also slammed on my brakes to miss hitting her as she crossed the street to get the restaurant. Great this date is starting off wonderful. She probably thinks I’m insane. Damn the full moon. I felt my eyes take on that familiar glow of emotion as my temper flared with embarrassment. I needed to keep control.

  Anita looks really good tonight, I need to calm down. Her tight white jeans and yellow baby doll shirt effectively showing off her curves, is going to make it impossible to keep my heart rate normal. The glow intensified and I realized my anger had turned to lust. The eye thing was a precursor to me changing into a wolf but to Anita it’d proba
bly just signal there was something off about me. Or she’d think I was one of those self-possessed people who buy colored contacts to look cooler. I sat in the jeep thinking about my grandma having sex. That’s always a mood killer and I felt the rush of lust leave my body along with the glow in my eyes. Calmer now that’d I’d arrived at the restaurant and successfully lust free, I stepped out of the jeep and made my way to the entrance.

  *****

  Standing inside the restaurant I took deep calming breaths, not sure what exactly happened two minutes ago. Get it together Anita, calm down and breath. Not only am I nervous because I’m not sure that I can pretend that I’ve been a lesbian for years but I almost just got ran over by my date. I did a ton of research on femme lesbians. I’m pretty sure that’s the category I fit into for the most part. In looks at least. Which is fortunate because I refuse to cut my hair and I absolutely cannot stop getting my nails done. As a vet it’s too difficult to keep them from breaking otherwise. But more importantly I want to be treated like a lady.

  “Oh!” I screeched from a tap on my shoulder scarring me out of my own thoughts.

  Turning around to see Blue standing really close behind me I jumped back a little, “You scared me. For the second time tonight. IS that your plan? Scare me into your arms? Start with a hit and run and if that doesn’t work come back for a sneak attack?”

  “No. What are you talking about? Did they get our table yet? I’m starving.” Blue took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m a little on edge tonight. Sorry.”

  “No worries. Let’s go sit and order.” Taking a calming breath because it was obvious we were both nervous, I walked off following the hostess to our table.

  “Here’s your table ladies. Your server will be over in a minute. I recommend the special tonight, fish tacos,” the hostess said winking at Blue and grinning lasciviously.

  I watched Blue watch the server walk away. It seems dating women that are hot is just as bad as dating men that are hot. Good looks equal arrogant personalities. You sure picked a good one for your first time out Anita. At least I can order my favorite and something will come out of this night.

  “Huh. Are all women that forward with you Blue? Or do you know her?” I could here the accusation in my voice so I laughed a little to take away any harshness.

  “The hostess? No I don’t know her.” Ungluing her eyes from the hostess’ ass Blue said, “She must just be friendly. She is a hostess after all.”

  The waitress came to the table, thankfully interrupting any response I may have given.

  “I’ll have the California salad. With a glass of red wine.” I said.

  “The filet mignon, rare, please and a beer. Whatever’s on tap. Thanks.” Blue dismissed the waitress.

  “So tell me about yourself, Blue.” Absently I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Well. I’m pretty much what you see is what you get. I live alone right outside the city. I like the outdoors. I swim, hike, and fish. I have a large, overbearing and nosey family. I’m a park ranger, which is great because the national forest butts up against my property. I’m also what the baby dykes would call a chapstick lesbian.”

  “Wow that must be great to have a job that goes right along with everything you love doing. I love animals and I’m a vet. So I know…”

  “I’m starving where is our food?”

  I clenched and unclenched my fists reaching for my wine glass I took a sip. “As I was saying. I love animals. I have a veterinary clinic right down the street from here.”

  “That’s great I love animals too. Most of my friends are animals. And I don’t mean in the sack either.” Blue belched. “Sorry. Sometimes beer does that too me. I’m kind of on edge tonight. Normally, I wouldn’t have ordered a beer knowing that it makes me burp.” Blue blushed crimson.

  She looks so cute with a flush on her cheeks but she’s rude. Ugh, I wish our food were here already. I don’t know how many more belches I can take. She’s looking right at me. Those damn blue eyes. They pierce right through me.

  “Foods here. Would you like another beer? More Wine?” the waitress asked as she set down our plates.

  “Just a glass of water for me. Please.” Blue directed her smile at me.

  “I’ll take another wine. It’s afternoon hours only tomorrow at the clinic. So why not right.” Blue nodded.

  Looking around the restaurant I noticed there were only couples here tonight. Most were a man and a woman. But there was one other couple like them, two women, sitting across from her. That reminds me.

  “What exactly is a chapstick lesbian? I mean I’ve heard of a lipstick lesbian but never chapstick.” I shrugged.

  “It just means I don’t identify as too Butch or too Femme. Rather I’m in the middle.”

  Smiling I said, “I see. You do have that androgynous look down pat. You’re stunning. What would you qualify me as?”

  Blues eyes got wide.

  “Well let’s see. I’d say you’re probably a femme or lipstick lesbian but you’ll need to do something first before I can be sure.” I scrunched my brow.

  “What’s that?”

  “Put two fingers up. Like this…” she said holding up two fingers in a v shape. I copied her holding my fingers up at chest level.

  “Now hold them a little higher. Little higher. In front of your mouth.” Perplexed I held my fingers in front of my mouth.

  “Good now stick out your tongue right between your two fingers and wiggle it a little.” Laughing Blue barely finished, “Good, good now how does that make you feel?”

  Putting my tongue back in my mouth and hand on the table I huffed, “You think you’re funny huh? Ya laugh it up.” Blue fell out of her chair laughing.

  Her laughter is a higher pitch than her voice and it almost sounds like howling or yelping rather. That’s funny. Don’t laugh. She’ll think your laughing at her joke.

  “Ha. Ha. Ha. Get off the ground. And if you must know it felt perfectly normal.”

  I looked to the left and brushed my shoulder off pursing my lips. Getting back on her chair Blue raised her eyebrows and laughed again, “That was funny you have to admit. It was just a joke no offense. And at least now I can concretely say that you are not a pillow princess. Don’t ask me what that is either. Look it up if you don’t already know.”

  “Oh crap, this guy I know just saw me. He’s on his way over. Sorry in advance.” I tried not to make eye contact so Mike wouldn’t come to our table.

  “Anita, baby how have you been?” Mike oozed like the slimy car salesman he is.

  He had on shiny black cowboy boots, black jeans with a four-inch Chevy belt buckle and a shiny red button up shirt and black cowboy hat.

  “I’ve told you before I hate when you call me baby. I’m not a child. Mike this is Blue. Blue, Mike, he sells cars downtown.” I nonchalantly tipped my head towards Mike.

  Letting Blue know how impressive he found her by staring straight at Anita while still explaining to Blue, “I own the Chevy lot downtown. You owe me a date Anita. You said you’d call but never did. It looks like you ladies have finished your dinner,” he reached out and stuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, “I’ll grab your check and we can go get drinks or whatever.” He finished with a wink and a grin on his face.

  Blue stood abruptly slamming her fists on the table.

  “The lady is here with me. I think its time you walk away. She’s mine now. She clearly didn’t call you for a reason.”

  Mike backed up with his hands in the air placating Blue. Her tall almost six foot frame loomed over his shorter stature, “OK. OK have a good night.” Mike stammered. Tossing a “Freak” over his shoulder as he walked away.

  “I uh I need to go to the restroom.” I said throwing sixty dollars down on the table grabbing my purse and walking away.

  What the heck was that? I’m hers? She almost runs me down before we even get in the restaurant. She acts flippant and rude during dinner then makes a
scene in the middle of the restaurant and declares me hers. Is she insane? I have to get out of here. Hopefully I can slip out and get away before she sees me. Maybe Phoebe is right. I can’t just decide to be a lesbian. Besides from this date I don’t see any difference between dating men and dating women. With my head down I rushed out the front door and ran smack into someone.

  “Shit. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” Looking up I realized too late that I ran into Blue.

  “No problem, I figured I’d wait for you outside. The least I could do is walk you to your car.” Blue shrugged her shoulders.

  “Not necessary but thank you.” I started to cross the street.

  On the other side of the street half way down the block a dog was running loose. The dog had dirty, curly fur and was very thin. He was running in and out of traffic and digging in the garbage cans provided by the city to keep people from littering. A few people slammed on their breaks honking as the dog ran into the road again. One man further down the street tried to grab the dog as it ran by him.

  “Oh no. That dogs going to get hit by a car. He looks like a stray. We have to try to get him before he gets hurt.” I looked around frantically as he darted back into the street.

  I heard a high-pitched whistle close to my head then something close to a howl. Looking up I noticed Blue putting her fingers to her mouth to whistle and realized she was communicating to the dog. Suddenly, the mangy dog ran up and sat right at her feet wagging its tail.

  “Oh my? How on earth did you do that? I work with dogs everyday and can’t get them to come and sit with a simple whistle.” I bent down to lovingly pat the dog. “You’re just the cutest little thing aren’t you? Aren’t you?”

  “Thanks. I thought I might have messed this up tonight. But do you think you could give me another chance?” The sincerity in Blue’s eyes melted me.