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Let's Kill Uncle

Page 24

by Rohan O'Grady; Rohan O’Grady


  It was time to go, but the children wanted to see the graveyard on their way. The sad little procession wound its way down the dusty road.

  Sergeant Coulter stood holding Rodney, the camera and Lady Syddyns’s roses as the children climbed the fence. Staring down at his boots, Albert listened to the first faraway little rift within the lute.

  He had a pension coming to him that he fully intended to enjoy, and he was not ruining his life and career for them. Why, even a dog was legally entitled to one bite. Surely a man could make one mistake? It was just a matter of keeping his mouth shut. He’d only see the boy on holidays, anyway. If worst came to worst, Desmond could not testify and it was their word against his. And children forgot so quickly.

  If that was the way the game was played, he could be a damned sight tougher than the lot of them.

  The children wandered sadly among the graves.

  Mr Brooks blew his nose and said they had better hurry, the boat was in.

  ‘You just can’t keep up with those weeds,’ said Christie. ‘The blackberry vines are right back to Sir Adrian again.’

  ‘I’ll just clean up John Townsend’s little angel,’ said Barnaby, ‘it won’t take a minute.’

  Christie helped him, and when they were through they patted the angel’s head.

  They climbed onto the fence, turned, paused, taking one last look at their handiwork. The Haida Prince blasted again.

  ‘Hurry up!’ said Sergeant Coulter. He was beginning to sweat in case they missed the boat.

  They climbed down, their lovely faces secret and serene.

  ‘Well, let’s go.’

  As he watched them climb up the gangplank, Sergeant Coulter no longer looked as if he were guarding the Khyber Pass. Indeed, one might almost have accused him of slouching.

  When they reached the deck they turned, the girl blew him a kiss and the boy waved.

  Christie clutched the holy camera to her breast and walked on, and Sergeant Coulter thought with something akin to amazement that at least he wouldn’t see her again. Thank God.

  It was nearly dusk as the boat pulled away, and the children stood at the rail, waving, waving, waving.

  The figures on the wharf dwindled.

  ‘It feels as if they’re moving and we’re standing still,’ said Barnaby. ‘Doesn’t it?’

  Christie didn’t answer him.

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  Barnaby turned, his eye caught by a sign at the foot of the bridge which stated in large letters that passengers were forbidden.

  He nudged Christie with his elbow.

  ‘Come on,’ he said, ‘let’s go up. Nobody’s around.’

  ‘No,’ said Christie. ‘You’re not supposed to.’

  ‘Gee, what’s the matter with you, Christie?’

  ‘I told you, nothing!’

  Barnaby smiled and patted her shoulder.

  ‘Well, whatever it is, nevermind. I’ll still give you the million dollars, even if we didn’t murder Uncle. We’ll get married if you want.’

  ‘I’m going to marry Sergeant Coulter, and I don’t want your old million dollars,’ said Christie crossly.

  Far above, the seagulls drifted aimlessly like paper aeroplanes, and on the shining water a merry salmon leaped and flashed.

  ‘Well, what do you want then, Christie?’

  ‘I want Sergeant Coulter!’

  She turned a determined face to Barnaby.

  ‘He’s half mine,’ she cried jealously, ‘and you got him all. And I’m coming back when I’m eighteen and I’ve got a permanent, and I’m going to get him!’

  She raised the instant camera to frame the tiny group on the faraway wharf and snapped the shutter.

  ‘Sergeant Coulter!’ she hallooed over the glistening waves, ‘look, Sergeant Coulter, I got you!’

  And she did, too.

  The Bloomsbury Group: a new library of books from the early twentieth-century chosen by readers, for readers

  ALSO AVAILABLE IN THE SERIES

  JOYCE DENNYS

  HENRIETTA’S WAR

  Spirited Henrietta wishes she was the kind of doctor’s wife who knew exactly how to deal with the daily upheavals of war. But then, everyone in her close-knit Devonshire village seems to find different ways to cope: there’s the indomitable Lady B, who writes to Hitler every night to tell him precisely what she thinks of him; flighty Faith who is utterly preoccupied with flashing her shapely legs; and then there’s Charles, Henrietta’s hard-working husband who manages to sleep through a bomb landing in the neighbour’s garden. With life turned upside down under the shadow of war, Henrietta chronicles the dramas, squabbles and loyal friendships of a sparkling community of determined troupers.

  ‘Wonderfully evocative of English middle-class life at the time … never fails to cheer me up’

  SUSAN HILL, GOOD HOUSEKEEPING

  ISBN: 978 1 4088 0281 6 · PAPERBACK · £7.99

  *

  HENRIETTA SEES IT THROUGH

  The war is now in its third year and although nothing can dent the unwavering patriotism of Henrietta and her friends, everyone in the Devonshire village has their anxious moments. Henrietta takes up weeding and plays the triangle in the local orchestra to take her mind off things; the indomitable Lady B partakes in endless fund-raising events to distract herself from thoughts of life without elastic; and Faith, the village flirt, finds herself amongst the charming company of the American GIs. With the war nearing its end, hope seems to lie just around the corner and as this spirited community muddle through, Lady B vows to make their friendships outlast the hardship that brought them together.

  ‘Anyone who wants to get the feel of the period must read [this]’

  DAILY TELEGRAPH

  ISBN: 978 1 4088 0855 9 · PAPERBACK · £7.99

  B L O O M S B U R Y

  E.F. BENSON

  MRS AMES

  Reigning over a social merry-go-round of dinners and parties, Mrs Ames is the undisputed queen bee of Riseborough. That is, until vivacious new villager Mrs Evans catches the eye of both her son and her husband. Not content with captivating the men in her life, ‘that wonderful creature’ Mrs Evans becomes not just rival to Mrs Ames’s marriage, but rival to her village throne. When the whole of Riseborough is invited to Mrs Evans’ masked costume party, action must be taken. As the date looms, the irrepressible Mrs Ames resolves to seize the chance to win back her position – and her man.

  ‘An extraordinary study in comedy’ NEW YORK TIMES

  ISBN: 978 1 4088 0858 0 · PAPERBACK · £7.99

  *

  PAUL GALLICO

  MRS HARRIS GOES TO PARIS &

  MRS HARRIS GOES TO NEW YORK

  Mrs Harris is a salt-of-the-earth London charlady who cheerfully cleans the houses of the rich. One day, when tidying Lady Dant’s wardrobe, she comes across the most beautiful thing she has ever seen – a Dior dress. She’s never seen anything as magical and she’s never wanted anything as much. Determined to make her dream come true, Mrs Harris scrimps, saves and slaves away until one day, she finally has enough money to go to Paris. Little does she know how her life is about to be transformed forever…Part charlady, part fairy godmother, Mrs Harris’s adventures take her from her humble Battersea roots to the heights of glamour in Paris and New York as she learns some of life’s greatest lessons along the way.

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  JUSTINE PICARDIE

  ISBN: 978 1 4088 0856 6 • PAPERBACK • £7.99

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  Table of Contents

  Let’s Kill Uncle

  Copyright

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