Walk Of Shame

by Victoria Ashley

  I notice immediately when I pull up that the motorcycle is nowhere to be seen, but I jump out anyway and run through the rain to the door. I knock as hard as I can, losing every bit of patience I have left.

  As soon as the door swings open, I rush inside and look around. “Is Onyx here?”

  Jade gives me a confused look. “No. What the hell is going on?” She watches me as I run my hand down the front of my face, wiping the rain off. “I haven’t talked to her all day.”

  “Shit!” Without saying another word, I rush back outside and to my truck. Reaching in my pocket, I search for my phone, but come up empty. I must have left it on the kitchen counter at home. “Of fucking course!” I slam my fist into the horn before gripping the steering wheel and letting out an agitated breath. There’s only one last place to check and this is a long shot.

  Back when we dated, she would surprise me by showing up at Mitch’s shop when I was working. She always loved watching me work and I loved having her watch. It was our place. We both made a lot of memories there.

  Taking a chance, I head over toward Mitch’s shop, looking around for signs of her out on the street, but come up empty. It’s already past nine so the shop is closed. Mitch would have left at least an hour ago. That’s another reason I have a feeling she’s not there either, but I refuse to go home until I look.

  When I pull up to the shop, I quickly park and jump out. I look around me, but don’t see the bike anywhere. Jogging, I turn around the corner of the building and freeze when I see Onyx standing there in the rain, leaning against the building. She’s soaked and more beautiful than if she were dolled up to perfection. The air gets sucked from my lungs at the sight of her and for this moment, I feel more alive than I have in years.

  She pushes away from the building and looks at me. “I’ve been waiting for you,” she whispers. One sentence and my heart feels like it’s about to burst at the seam.

  Well, she’ll never have to wait again. That is a promise. . .

  KEEPING SAGE FROM HEMY WAS the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I just wish he would understand that I did it for Sage, because I love her like a sister myself and was only thinking of her best interests. I could never hurt her in any way. As much as I love Hemy, I had to think of Sage too. Hemy may hate me forever, but I did what I felt I had to do, even though I knew it would end up with him hating me in the end.

  I just hope he’ll give me a chance to explain, because I don’t want to leave here without him. I never want to be without him again. I’ve lived day after day without him, years on end, and I can’t do it anymore.

  I’ve been here for the last half hour or so thinking about us; thinking of all the time we have missed out on and it hurts my heart so bad knowing that I left him and let him down. It kills me. I was scared and young back then. I didn’t know what else to do but remove myself from the situation. I should have stuck around and tried to get him help, but I was just a kid trying to deal with something bigger than myself.

  I walk closer to Hemy as he stands there in shock and relief, just looking me over as if he can’t believe that I’m here. “I was hoping you would come here. I’m so sorry. I wish I could take back what I did, but I can’t. You hate me and I don’t blame you.”

  Stepping closer to me, Hemy runs his hands through my wet hair before pressing his forehead to mine, something he always did. “You’re wrong,” he whispers. “What if I told you I could never hate you, no matter what you do? What if I told you I have loved you since day one, but was too afraid to say it?”

  I look up into his eyes and cup his face in my hands. Looking at him makes it hard for me to breathe. The pain I put him through kills me. “How could you even say that, Hemy?” I can’t hold my emotions back anymore. Being here in his embrace makes me lose all composure. The tears rush out as I wrap one arm around his neck and hold on for dear life. “I hurt you. I walked out on you when you needed me the most. I never stopped loving you. I thought about you every day and not one day went by that I didn’t fear for your life. I was so damn scared.”

  “I know,” he breathes. He rubs both his thumbs under my eyes, wiping the smeared mascara, before cupping my face and hovering his lips above mine. “I was a fool for the way I acted and I should have done the right thing by you. I should have been the one to let you go. I hurt you so damn bad and I’ll never forgive myself for what I put you through. You did the right thing. You had to for the both of us, because I was too weak. Watching you walk out of my life and waking up alone is what woke me up. I realized that you were more important than the drugs. No high is better than the high I experience when I’m with you. I’m a different person and I have you to thank for it. Don’t ever question what you had to do. Do you hear me?”

  His warm breath kisses my lips as he presses his body closer to mine and waits for me to nod. “Hemy,” I manage to get out. “I love you so damn much. I’ll never-”

  Hemy crushes his lips against mine, cutting me off. My body feels weak in his arms as he pulls me as close as possible, kissing me with so much passion that the tears start falling for a whole different reason. I love this man with all my heart and after all that we have been though, I know he feels the same way.

  Pulling away from the kiss, Hemy searches my eyes before kissing my tears. “I love you more than life itself. I promise to never hurt you again. All I want is to be with you. I’ve never wanted anything else besides having Sage back in my life. I have Sage now,” he pauses to give me a deep look, his eyes glassing over, “Let me have you. That’s all I ask. I need both my girls.”

  Looking into his eyes makes me weak in the knees. There is so much promise behind them that I know being with him would be different this time. I’m just not sure I can get over me hurting him and Sage. It’s myself that I’m angry with now, not him. I’m mad at myself for leaving.

  “Are you sure you want me,” I ask, my heart pounding.

  He kisses me softly before pulling away and smiling. “More than life itself.”

  We both stand here in the rain just looking each other in the eyes before Hemy sucks in his lip ring and smirks. “Stay here with me tonight. Do you remember those nights?”

  I let out a little laugh and nod my head. “How could I forget, Hemy? I can’t even count how many people’s trucks we had sex in the back of.”

  “Twenty three,” Hemy says with a grin.

  I slap his arm. “You kept count?”

  He laughs and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. “Fuck yeah. Those were twenty-three of the best nights of my life.” He bites down into my ass, making me squirm as he pulls out a key and unlocks the door. “I counted a lot of our good memories. Now, tonight will be number one that I undress you out of those wet clothes, put you in my shirt and take care of my future wife. Promise me you’ll be mine, forever. Say it. Let me hear you say it.”

  All the breath leaves my lungs hearing those words leave his lips. I want to cry, but I don’t. All I want to do is be close to Hemy and let him back in. No holding back this time.

  “I’m yours. Forever,” I whisper.”

  “I’ve been waiting four years to hear those words,” he breathes as he walks us through the dark garage, pulls down the back of a truck bed and carefully sets me down.

  He doesn’t hesitate undressing himself from his jacket and shirt before pulling off my wet clothes and replacing them with his dry shirt.

  He holds me close to him, whispering in my ear and rubbing the back of my head. Here, right now. I feel safe. I feel loved. This is the feeling I want for the rest of my life and can’t live without.

  It’s him and it always has been. Tonight I’m making a promise to never let him go again.

  The rest of my life starts tonight . . .

  Three weeks later . . .

  WE’RE ALL SITTING AROUND IN Fortune – a normal bar, eating dinner and having a few drinks. The whole crew is here: Slade, Aspen, Cale, Stone, Sage, Onyx and myself. It’s the first time we have all gotten
together since me and Onyx worked things out. I have to admit it feels good.

  It took a bit of convincing, but I finally got Onyx to move in with me. I knew she would eventually cave in. The only downfall to that is that it left Sage needing a new roommate. As you can guess, Stone was quick to jump to fill that spot. I’m still keeping my eyes on that slick fucker, but he’s grown on me. Plus, he seems to be crazy about her and she deserves someone to treat her the way she should have been all along.

  “Dude!” I feel something hit me upside the back of my head. I pull away from kissing Onyx to look over my shoulder. Slade flicks a chicken wing at me. “Stop that shit. You’re making me want to take Aspen home and fuck her. My cock does not appreciate you right now.” Aspen elbows him in the side and laughs. “What?” he questions with a laugh.

  “You and your dirty mouth.” Aspen grins.

  Slade throws his hands up. “My bad.” He bends down and kisses her neck before biting it. “You can just punish me later.”

  “Alright, dicks,” Cale says annoyed. “You all can stop your shit now. You’re making me sick. I’m trying to eat.”

  “Shut up and go get your dick sucked, pussy,” I say teasingly, causing Cale to toss a fry at my head. What’s with the fucking flying food?

  Onyx grips my thigh from under the table, causing me to instantly go hard. She always does it, letting me know what she wants. She knows exactly what she’s doing to me and as soon as I get her alone, she’s getting . . . fucked, and hard.

  Aspen smiles over at Cale before taking a sip of her beer. “So . . . Riley gets home next week.”

  Cale turns white in the face, but quickly tries to shake it off. “Yeah? That’s nice,” he says, nonchalantly. “Next week, already?”

  Aspen laughs and sets her beer down. “Already? It’s been like six years since she moved away to Mexico.”

  I can’t even believe how pale and nervous Cale looks. He definitely has it bad for this Riley chick. Maybe he’ll man up and finally give his dick up. I knew he was holding back for a reason.

  I take a bite of my steak and notice Stone getting a little cozy with my sister at the end of the table. I get ready to say something, but Onyx leans into my ear, distracting me.

  “I love you, baby.” She places her hand on mine and I smile down at the diamond on her left finger. Knowing that I placed it there makes me the happiest man on earth.

  When I proposed to her in the hot tub last week, I about died when she broke down in tears and screamed, yes. I’ll never forget that feeling for the rest of my life. I’m not going to lie I shed a few tears myself. What can I say? I’ve waited for a lifetime to have her back in my arms and I’m never letting go. She’s my everything. I love her and I love this new life with her. I can’t be any happier.

  I bite my lip when I realize Onyx distracted me on purpose. I know this now by her little fit of laughter. She saw me eyeing Stone and Sage down. She’s good. Too damn good.

  When I go to focus my attention on Sage and Stone again; Sage is gone and Stone is chatting with Aspen. That lucky fucker.

  I feel a small arm wrap around my neck, distracting me, before Sage rests her head on the top of mine and laughs. “Stop being such a big brother.” She squeezes my neck and both girls laugh as Onyx pinches my cheek. “I love you, but seriously . . . don’t make me kick your ass. I know what I’m doing with Stone. Okay?”

  I look over at Stone and see the look in his eyes as he focuses his attention on Sage as if she’s the only woman in the room. I have to respect that. That’s the same way I look at Onyx. I need to give Sage the space she needs. I keep forgetting she’s a grown woman now.

  “Okay,” I mumble. “I trust you.” She kisses my head and rushes over to sit in Stone’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. I guess they make a nice couple.

  Looking around me; I realize this is the happiest I have ever been in my life. This is where I belong. Where we all belong. This is my family. Family isn’t always bound by blood. It’s so much more than that. This is it, and it’s what I’ve been missing all along.

  I’m ready to spend the rest of my life making my family and future wife happy. This is my ending . . .

  The End of #2

  Six years ago . . .

  GRABBING RILEY BY THE WAIST I fall backward, pulling her into the freezing water with me. I feel her stiffen in my arms and squeal as the frigid water surrounds us, numbing our skin, as we slowly sink to the bottom with me still holding onto her. She’s leaving for Mexico tomorrow and this might be our last moment together. The thought causes my chest to ache as I pull her even closer while we break through the water’s surface, both of us fighting for air, and our bodies frozen.

  She sucks in a deep breath before releasing it and screaming, “CALE!” Turning around in my arms, she presses her hands against my chest and shoves me, while trying to keep her teeth from chattering. “The water is free . . . eezing.”

  Her body is shaking violently from the cold, so I use this as an excuse to keep her warm. I’ve had feelings for Riley for as long as I can remember, but timing has never seemed to be on our side. If I can’t have her . . . then I’ll wait. She means more to me than any woman ever could, and I have a plan to show her that—a promise that I made to myself. I just don’t know how to tell her I want her without ruining our friendship, but I’ll show her when the time is right.

  Placing one arm behind her head, I pull her body against my chest and then wrap both of her legs around my waist as I back up against the wall of the pool to support her. “I’ve got you, Rile.” I brush her wet, brown hair out of her face and smile as I reach out and touch her quivering bottom lip. I have to admit, she’s so damn adorable while freezing her ass off. I should feel bad for torturing her, but I don’t. Not really. I know she loves me teasing her. “If you don’t stop shaking that lip . . . I’m going to bite it.”

  I see a hint of a smile, before she punches my chest and laughs. “You can be such a dick sometimes, Cale.”

  “I know,” I admit. “That’s why you love me so much, Riley Raines.”

  All laughter and playfulness seems to stop as our eyes meet. It looks as if she wants to say something, but stops right as her mouth opens to speak. Her face looks guilty and I hate it. I hate that look.

  “What, Riley?” I pull her chin up as she looks away. “Say it,” I whisper. “You know you can tell me anything.”

  She closes her eyes for a moment before shaking her head and biting her bottom lip. She looks hurt, but I have a feeling she won’t give me the info I’m seeking. “It’s nothing,” she says softly. “It’s just that . . . I’m going to miss you. That’s all.” She forces a smile and tugs on the ends of my hair playfully. “Don’t look so sad, you big stud you. You’ll do fine without me and forget about me in no time.” She turns her head, hiding her eyes from my view.

  “Not true. Don’t ever say that.” My heart is beating so damn hard against her chest that I’m surprised she hasn’t asked me if I’m about to have some kind of freak attack. She’s the only girl that makes my heart race like this and hearing those words out of her mouth causes it to ache like nothing else. How can she not realize how much I’m truly going to miss the shit out of her? “It’s kind of hard not to be sad.”

  I make my best pouty face, trying to make her feel bad. This face always seems to work on her. “I have to wait for you to come home, all alone, so I can give you my virginity.”

  She looks stunned for a moment before she bursts out in laughter and squirms her way out of my arms. Her laugh is so damn beautiful. “You jerk. You almost made me feel bad for you for a minute . . . and we both know you’re not a virgin. Stop kidding around.” She attempts to pull herself out of the pool, but I grab her waist, stopping her.

  “Where are you going?”

  She looks down at me, water dripping down her beautiful curvy body. I want so much to just take her right here and give her all of me, but time is not on my side at the moment; it never seems to be
when it comes to Riley. “It’s getting late. I told my mom I’d be home early so I can finish packing.”

  “Stay,” I whisper, pulling her back into the pool with me. My hands cup her face and I pull her so close that our lips are almost touching. “Don’t leave me here.”

  “What?” She shakes her head and kisses me on the cheek, her lips lingering for a moment. “I can’t. My grandma needs me. I have to go, Cale. I have no choice.”

  I watch as she gets out of the pool and grabs for my dry shirt, snuggling against it to keep warm, before pulling it over her head. I can’t be sure, but it looks as if she sniffed it. I love that.

  “I’m keeping this by the way.” She smiles with a sad look in her eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise. Time will fly by. Just watch.” Her voice comes out sad and hesitant, because she and I both know that’s not true. Time will definitely be a bitch while she’s gone, and I’m sure it’s going to feel like a lifetime without seeing her smile or hearing her beautiful laugh.

  I nod my head and turn away from her as she starts walking away. I can’t stand to watch her walk out of my life. It hurts more now that it’s actually happening, especially knowing that there’s nothing I can do to stop it, but . . . I need her to know one thing before she leaves. One thing that I hope will mean something to her in the future.

  “I am still a virgin by the way,” I say, wanting her to know I wasn’t lying about that. I would never lie to Riley. I can’t.

  I hear her stop walking before I hear a small, but painful laugh. “Yeah, me too,” she says. She whispers something afterwards but I miss it, too scared to look her way. I hear her footsteps in the grass as she starts walking again and it hurts so damn bad that I can’t breathe.

  By the time I get the courage to turn around she’s gone . . . out of my life and soon she’ll be out of Chicago. She’s the one and only girl I have ever loved and I never even got the chance to tell her.