Hold On 2

by Tabitha Levin

  She smirks. “Happily.”

  As soon as she closes the door the tension is lifted from the room and I feel like I can relax again.

  ~

  “Wow, she’s worse than you said she was, no wonder you slapped her,” says Lauren.

  I take a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to do that and I still feel bad about it.” It’s the truth and I’m glad she hasn’t bought it up again.

  Lauren looks over at the closed door. “So, why is she messed up?” She cocks her head to the side and grins. “Did you go crazy on her ass and beat her up?”

  I know she’s joking, but I’m not sure I want to go into the full details of the reason Lili’s hurt. I still don’t understand it myself except that some thug who she claims killed Ethan’s ex girlfriend also attacked her. The whole thing is out of hand already and telling Lauren about it is only going to make it worse since I know she’ll insist we go to the police. Especially now that I’ve been mentioned to this thug.

  I don’t feel scared. I don’t belong in that world, I’m no threat to anyone. Lili’s threats are unfounded.

  “It was someone she knows. Someone bad.”

  “Obviously, and I’m guessing that she’s avoiding reporting it.”

  I nod slowly.

  “This story is juicy. You should have let me grill her some more, find out her background. Find out what really happened.”

  I frown. “And what would that have accomplished? She wasn’t opening up and it’s not like I’d let you write anything about it, not when I’m so close to it all.”

  “It was still fun watching her dodge the questions.” Lauren grins.

  Fun is not the word I’d use to describe tonight, but I smile anyway. “I wish Ethan was here.” I look wistfully toward the window.

  Lauren lowers her gaze. “Do you think she’s right? That he’s using you for sex.”

  I shake my head. I don’t think that. I can’t think that. “No.” I breathe out the words.

  “You’re too trusting,” says Lauren. “If he cared about you, he shouldn’t have left you alone with the hell-bitch all night.”

  I wish he hadn’t left, but I don’t get a say in what he does with his time. I truly believe that he must have had something important to do after Lili’s proclamation that she implicated me in this sorry mess. Why else would he have left me alone with her?

  “I saw Danny last night,” I confess, deliberately changing the subject so I don’t have to talk about Lili anymore.

  Lauren’s eyes open wide and her mouth hangs open. She grabs my arm and I can feel her fingers pressing into my skin. “What? Where?”

  “He was on the beach. He was waiting for me.”

  “Oh my god, Sarah. What the fuck was he doing there?” She lets go and slaps her hand on her leg as she moves to the couch, leaning it close so she can hear every word I say.

  “He broke it off with the waitress.”

  “No way.”

  I grin. “He had the engagement ring with him.”

  She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “He had the ring with him. Why did he have the ring on him?”

  I want to draw it out. I want to make her anticipate every single word I say, but I’m not good at building suspense or keeping things in so I blurt it out. “He said he still loved me and wants to marry me.”

  She squeals like a schoolgirl. “Holy fuckadoodle.” She glances down at my hand as if she’s expecting that I’m wearing the engagement ring, and then back up to my face. “What did you say?”

  “What do you think I said? I told him to get lost, of course. It’s over with Danny and if he thinks he can come back into my life now, then he’s a complete idiot.”

  “But he wants to marry you. Isn’t that what you wanted from him all along?”

  I shake my head. She should know that I’m too far gone into the relationship with Ethan to go back to Danny. “What I wanted from Danny was for him to love me. He didn’t. He treated me terribly that last year. Now I’ve found someone who can treat me nice, who cares for me. It’s too late. I love Ethan now.”

  I notice her lip twitch as I tell her that I love Ethan. I know she doesn’t approve but that’s because she hasn’t spent time with him yet. Tonight was supposed to change all of that, but instead Lili came rushing in and destroyed the evening.

  “You should think about it, though. Don’t discount it altogether, getting back with him.”

  Her heart is in the right place but I’m tired of telling her that it’s over with Danny so I don’t respond.

  “Do you want me to stay until he gets back?” she asks, sensing my reluctance to continue talking about my ex. “So you aren’t alone with the hell-bitch?”

  I glance over at the closed door to Ethan’s bedroom. As much as I don’t want Lauren to go home and be alone with Lili in the apartment, I also don’t want Lauren here when Ethan gets back. “I’m fine. She’s probably already asleep and I’m sure he won’t be far away.”

  “Still, I should stay the night anyway. Just in case.”

  I hug her. I love that she’s so protective of me, but this is something I need to do alone. “I have my phone with me if I need you.”

  She narrows her eyes and lifts an eyebrow. “He better be worth all this shit.”

  “He is.”

  Chapter 17

  I lay awake in my bed. The street lights dance shadowy patterns on the ceiling and I count them for the fourth time. I turn my head to the side to look at the phone screen. It’s past three and Ethan isn’t back yet.

  I left two messages but he hasn’t returned them. I know because I keep checking in case I missed hearing the tone when I get a new message or my phone isn’t updating properly. But it’s working fine.

  If the man who hurt Lili is capable of such violence, and her accusations of what he did to Winona are true, then I hope with all my heart that Ethan didn’t go there tonight. He promised that he wouldn’t but then he rushed away before I could find out where he was headed. That wasn’t fair of him. He would know that I’d be worried.

  I feel helpless.

  I’ve convinced myself that he cares for me, but if he did then surely he’d respond and at least tell me he’s okay. Wouldn’t he?

  It’s too hard to shake away my insecurities when he isn’t here and I don’t know where he is. I thought that I was strong and I trusted him. I do trust him, yet I can’t help feeling that wherever he has gone tonight is going to make things bad. Very bad.

  ~

  I’m not sure what time I fell asleep but I’m woken when I hear movement in the apartment. It sounds like someone is in the kitchen and it takes me a moment to remember what happened last night and that I was waiting for Ethan to return home.

  My first thought is that Lili has woken and is searching for something to eat. I glance over at my phone - it’s ten minutes to eight. I need coffee to wake up properly and work out what to do next.

  Or I could stay in bed.

  The only thing that keeps me from staying put is that the noise might be Ethan. I didn’t hear his motorcycle come home last night, I was sure I’d wake if I heard it. But perhaps I was just too tired and slept right through his return.

  I have to make a decision. Stay in bed and avoid Lili, or investigate and hope it’s Ethan.

  I get out of bed and open the bedroom door.

  Immediately I’m jolted fully awake from the fresh brewed coffee and pancakes that Ethan is preparing.

  “You’re okay.” I let out an audible sigh of relief. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been holding my breath and wanting desperately to see him in one piece again. I almost trip over my own feet as I rush over to him.

  “Morning,” he says cheerfully. “Hungry?” He’s laid out three plates on the counter.

  “Where have you been?” I place my arms around him and lean into his strong chest. I want to feel his heartbeat against my skin just to prove that he’s okay as I don’t trust my own eyes.

  “Sarah,” he brings h
is hand down to my face and lifts my chin so I meet his gaze. “You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” He bends down and presses his lips against my forehead.

  “When-you-didn’t-come-home-last-night, I-thought-something-had-happened-to-you.” The words rush out fast and run together into one long word.

  His hand glides down my arm and curls around my waist. “Does it look like something happened to me?” He laughs and pulls me tighter to his body with one hand and slides his other through my hair.

  It doesn’t. He looks happy and healthy, like nothing happened last night at all. He even looks well rested which is in direct contrast to me who barely slept. “You’re okay then?”

  He tips his head to the side as his fingers trace the contours of my shoulder and up my neck sending tingling shivers over my skin. He answers by brushing his lips over mine and sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. I sigh into him, but before I can return the passion of his kiss he pulls away to flip the first pancake onto a plate.

  I sit down at the counter and wait for him to serve up my breakfast. I’m confused. He’s acting like it’s a normal Sunday morning, like he didn’t storm out of the apartment last night. He’s making it look like I’m silly for thinking that something bad might have happened. But I know that I’m not crazy. Something is up that he’s not telling me. I can’t put my finger on it, but I can tell that he’s trying to distract me and act like nothing’s wrong. It makes me even more nervous.

  “I didn’t hear you come in. Did you sleep on the couch?” I ask as casually as I can. The door to his bedroom is still closed. I don’t think he slept in there but the couch doesn’t look slept on either.

  “I only got in about half an hour ago.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal as he fills the other two plates with pancakes and slides all three plates to the counter. “Haven’t slept yet.” He walks over to his bedroom and raps on the door before opening it. “Made breakfast, Lil.”

  She grunts but I don’t hear any other movement which means she’s decided to stay put. Good.

  I study him. He looks remarkably refreshed for someone who hasn’t slept yet, but I shake away the thoughts as I look down at the plate of food and across to the coffee which I haven’t yet touched but need. I pick up the coffee and take a drink. Something’s definitely not right.

  “Ethan, should I be worried about what Lili said last night? Am I in danger?”

  He picks up his fork, cuts a piece of pancake away, and places it in his mouth. It’s a subtle yet obvious move to give him time to think about the right answer. I wait until he swallows. He’s watching me carefully. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Sarah. I protect those I care about. I can protect you now.”

  Chapter 18

  I can’t eat the pancakes. I’m not hungry, and the tone in his voice when he said he can protect me hasn’t inspired a lot of confidence. I’m sure he means what he says, but the fact that I need protecting at all has made a cold icy ball form in my chest. I push the plate away.

  Up until now I hadn’t thought that I was in any danger. I thought that Lili was trying to scare me or use me to manipulate Ethan into getting her way. Now I’m frightened.

  “I’m going to the police,” I say.

  “You can’t do that.” Lili walks out of Ethan’s bedroom and limps toward the breakfast counter. “If you get the police involved then we are all dead.” She sits down and murmurs as she picks up her fork and digs it into the pancake.

  I swallow air as I look between them. They are acting as if it’s no big deal, it’s crazy. “This is too much. I don’t want any of this. I don’t want to get hurt.” I lower my voice to a whisper. “I don’t want to die.” I can tell I’m panicking and acting irrationally, I need reassurance. Reassurance that Ethan isn’t giving to me.

  “Sarah.” Ethan moves to my back and then turns me around to face him. “Nothing will happen to you, I promise you that.”

  I’m about to become hysterical and I can’t stop it. Whether it’s from lack of sleep or lack of understanding, I can feel the disconnect between fantasy and reality start to overtake me and I don’t know what’s real anymore. “How can you promise me that? Your friend Winona is dead.” My voice is pitching higher with each word.

  Ethan’s body stiffens at the sound of her name. “I wasn’t with Winona when she got hurt. I hadn’t been with her for a long time, but I’m here with you. I’m here now.”

  I stand up. “No. No, I have to get away. I have to hide. I have to find somewhere safe.”

  Ethan moves his face until it’s nearly touching mine. I can feel his breath against my lips. He holds my shoulders with both hands and speaks slowly. “Sarah, you’re tired. You need to think about this logically.”

  Lili coughs a laugh and I swing my whole body to face her. She thinks this is amusing? “You.” I point my finger at her accusingly “You did this. You bought all this to my doorstep. Everything was good until you showed up.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Oh please, you were involved as soon as you let him slip his dick into your wet pussy. You knew who he was.”

  “Lili, shut the fuck up,” says Ethan. I can hear the cool anger in his voice. “She’s right, you did bring this here. I was out.”

  She laughs and takes another bite of her pancake. “You’re never really out.” I know she’s already injured but right now I have the urge to push her off her chair and hurt her more. I don’t.

  I can’t take it anymore. It’s too much. I walk slowly toward my bedroom. I can hear Ethan follow me but I shut the door before he can come in. I need to think about what to do next without him confusing me.

  As I lay down on the bed and close my eyes, I think about how upside down things have become. Just twenty-four hours ago I was snuggled in Ethan’s cabin with him, falling deeper and deeper in love. Now I’m questioning my very safety. It’s not fair.

  “Sarah.” He raps quietly on the door as if he thinks I’ve fallen back asleep and doesn’t want to wake me. Who can sleep at a time like this?

  “Give me a moment.” My words sound choked. I don’t want to invite him in, yet he’s the only one I want to be with right now. It’s messed up.

  His voice is soft through the door. “Trust that I can fix this. Hold on tight, Sarah. Hold on to me.”

  Hold on to him - can I do that now? I love him, that’s clear, but can I trust him to keep me safe? I just don’t know anymore. Getting my heart broken by Danny was one thing. Getting my whole life ripped apart is quite another. I need to know if I’m strong enough and I can’t do that hiding in my bedroom.

  I walk slowly to the door and place my hand against the painted wood before taking a deep breath and walking out.

  Ethan is bending down over a brown bag that I hadn’t noticed earlier. He’s reaching inside it. “I can fix this,” he says. “I can’t let anyone hurt you.”

  “You’re going to help her aren’t you? You’re going to steal the money and set that guy up.” I already know the answer to the question. I look up at Lili who is staring at me with a satisfied smug look on her face. To think I felt sorry for her last night when I saw her. “You don’t have to do this,” I say to Ethan. “You can still walk away.”

  “No. I need to make all this go away,” he says slowly. “You said yourself that you want things to go back to how things were. I never wanted these people back again in my life. I want this over as much as you.”

  I gasp as Ethan pulls out a gun from the brown bag. It’s small and black, fitting into his palm easily. It’s size makes it easy to hide and I figure that’s the point. He handles it like he’s used to such a weapon. “No. No, you can’t do this. You can’t do any of this.”

  “I don’t have a choice.”

  Lili stands up and limps in my direction. “He’s going to help me whether you like it or not. Stings worse than a slap in the face, doesn’t it.”

  Thank You

  I know your reading list is long, so thank you for taking the time to re
ad part two of Hold On. I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I did writing it.

  Hold On – Part Three will be out in the next few weeks.

  Connect with me

  Find out updates on this series or others.

  You can either visit my website at http://tabithalevin.com or check me out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorTabithaLevin

  Lastly, here’s more that I’ve written

  (Links go to the Amazon.com store)

  NOVELS:

  Trance (standalone novel)

  Feathered Series:

  The Feathered Lover (Feathered #1),

  Feathered Bliss (Feathered #2),

  A Feathered Child (Feathered #3)

  NOVELLAS:

  Hold On Series

  Hold On #1

  Hold On #2

  Hold On #3

  The Bad Boys Series:

  The Brute

  The Beast

  The Biker

  In His Sails (standalone novella)

  STORY COLLECTION:

  Desperately Delicious Box Set containing the seven short stories listed below:

  SHORT STORIES:

  Desperately Delicious Series (can be read in any order):

  Stranger Delight,

  Perfect Amy,

  Betrayed By Love,

  Seducing Samantha,

  One Night Stand,

  Double Delight,

  All Tied Up