Secret Passion

by Carole Mortimer

  Unless the two men had discussed her, she worried on the drive back to the shop. James Ballantine didn’t seem the type of man to indulge in locker-room gossip, but that didn’t mean Adrian hadn’t told him about the obstinate woman he was dating who refused every move he made to share her bed. Maybe he had even challenged his partner to see if he could do any better with her!

  She wouldn’t put that sort of challenge past the type of man Adrian had proved himself to be, but she was sure James Ballantine wasn’t like that. She was letting her insecurities of the past colour her judgement.

  But no matter what conclusions she came to about James Ballantine, it didn’t alter the fact that Adrian had repaid her rejection of him by refusing to renew her lease, or that once Adrian returned to the office later today he might manage to convince his partner that he had acted that way for a good reason, and James Ballantine might just decide to go along with that decision …

  * * *

  It wasn’t the most relaxing day she had ever spent, expecting a furious Adrian Mayhew to appear in the shop at any moment, at the very least anticipating a telephone call from James Ballantine to tell her there was nothing he could do about renewing her lease.

  Neither of those things happened. Each ring of the bell over the door as it opened brought in only customers, and the only two telephone calls she received were from other customers with queries. By five-thirty, as she and Jeanne, the middle-aged lady who helped her run the shop, closed up for the day, Aura’s nerves were frayed to breaking-point.

  ‘Everything all right?’ Jeanne took time out from the mad dash she always had at the end of her working day to get home and cook the dinner for her invalid husband and their three young children. ‘You seem very tense,’ she explained her concern.

  Aura sighed. ‘It’s just been one of those days,’ she evaded; the other woman and her husband had enough trouble meeting their bills as it was, without worrying them with the fact that Jeanne might soon be out of a job because the shop was having to close. ‘I’m sure it will be better tomorrow.’ Oh God, she hoped so. If James Ballantine didn’t call her first thing tomorrow morning she was going to call him, and damn the fact that that was sure to make him angry straight away!

  Once Jeanne had left to hurry to the nearby supermarket before it closed she paused while cashing up to look around the shop that had become her pride and joy. It was light and airy, the shelves well stocked and varied. It was hers, damn it, and she refused to lose it because Adrian didn’t like to hear the word no! She would take him to court over it if necessary—no, she wouldn’t do that, she admitted to herself dully. She wouldn’t do anything that would draw attention to herself, and claiming sexual harassment by her landlord would certainly do that!

  But all the anger and frustration of her situation faded as soon as she looked at the gentle face of the woman waiting upstairs for her in the flat. No one, least of all she, was able to resist this delicately lovely woman’s vulnerability, Aura feeling protective as soon as she looked at the other woman.

  ‘Hello, Mummy.’ She greeted her mother softly so as not to startle her.

  Vague brown eyes focused on her with effort as her mother looked up from the television set showing a popular children’s cartoon. ‘Is it that time already, dear?’ She frowned as she saw the till-roll and books in Aura’s hands.

  ‘Yes,’ she confirmed indulgently, kissing her mother on the cheek before glancing at the television screen. ‘Has the cat been put out for the night yet?’ she mused.

  ‘No, dear.’ Her mother patted her cheek. ‘And talking of cats, have you seen Marmaduke today?’

  ‘He came in with me and went straight for his food bowl in the kitchen,’ Aura assured her, knowing how her mother fretted about the wandering tomcat. ‘Just give me five minutes and I’ll get our dinner started.’

  ‘I’ll get it, shall I, dear?’ her mother offered, but her attention had already wandered back to the television programme.

  Aura smiled as she went up to the next floor to her bedroom, knowing her mother would still be immersed in the cartoon—or another programme like it—when she went through the lounge in a few minutes on her way to the kitchen. Every night her mother offered to get dinner for them, and every night she either forgot or wandered off to do something else.

  At only forty-five, with the sort of beauty that had only increased with the years, her mother had retreated into a world where pain didn’t touch her, where she saw only good in everything, because to see things any other way would be to see reality. It had been like this since Aura’s father died.

  Her mother had never been a forceful personality, but the death of the man she loved had somehow pushed her into a world where she took responsibility for nothing, and where no one expected her to do so. When she wasn’t watching the childishly uncomplicated programmes on television she would just sit and daydream, and from the faraway tranquility of her expression when she did that Aura guessed her thoughts were as childishly unfettered by reality.

  Shock, the doctors had diagnosed her condition, at the sudden death of Aura’s father. They had all predicted she would as quickly recover from the shock, that it was something that occasioanlly happened to the deeply grief-stricken. They had been wrong, and despite constant counselling, her mother still lived in that state where she knew the man she loved had gone, but where she preferred to think he had just briefly left their lives.

  At times Aura felt her father’s loss so acutely she wanted to share her own pain with her mother, but as time passed and her mother continued to live in her world without pain the doctors had feared that the sudden jolt into awareness could result in permanent damage. Sometimes, as Aura watched her dreamily vague mother, she wondered if it weren’t already too late to do anything to help her.

  Once she had changed into peach cotton trousers and a brown blouse, she went down to the kitchen, her mother, as she had predicted, still watching the television, having switched off the news in favour of a nature programme.

  Aura didn’t know how her mother would react to the move if they had to make one. She didn’t seem aware of her surroundings most of the time, had made no comment when they moved here two years ago, and yet this flat was part of her mother’s security.

  Her mother’s distracted, ‘I could have done it, dear,’ as they sat down to the dinner Aura had prepared, made her smile sadly.

  Her mother had never been a forceful person, had always been content to go along with the will of the majority rather than argue her own point of view, but Aura did remember her as a woman whose complete happiness enveloped all around her; the way she was now, neither happiness nor despair touched her. It was heartbreaking for Aura to witness.

  The fact that Adrian, when he had called for her here, had been unfailingly kind to her mother had only made her like him more; now she was sure that kindness had just been another part of his plan to persuade her into a deeper relationship with him.

  Her sudden loss of appetite was due solely to Adrian Mayhew and what he was trying to do to her, and she refused her mother’s offer of helping her clear away, needing to be alone to try to work out what she would do if James Ballantine refused to reconsider renewing her lease. She would have to look for another property if that happened, and she wearily thought of the time it would take to find somewhere that was suitable. Why didn’t—who was her mother talking to? Oh God, she hadn’t started talking to herself too, had she!

  Aura was hastily wiping her hands dry as she rushed into the lounge, entering the room just in time to see her mother inviting James Ballantine into the flat.

  He looked over the top of her mother’s head at her flushed and dishevelled appearance, frowning at her suddenly fierce glare. ‘If I’ve called at an inconvenient time …?’

  Any time would be inconvenient with him looking like that!

  He ought to have a ‘Danger’ warning sewn onto the waistband of the faded denims he wore; the way they clung to his hips and thighs was positive
ly indecent. He had no right to reveal how broad his chest was in the dark green shirt and black leather jacket, and he certainly had no right to have his hair falling rakishly over his forehead like that, ruffled by the gentle breeze outside!

  Aura realised she had stopped breathing as soon as she saw him only because her starved lungs suddenly demanded air, her ragged breath audible as her mother moved to turn down the volume on the television set.

  ‘Not at all—Mr Ballantine, wasn’t it?’ Her mother gave him one of her vague smiles. ‘Aura has just finished clearing away. And I—’

  ‘Mummy,’ she warned as her mother picked up a book that lay open on the sofa.

  ‘—was just off to my room,’ she finished serenely as if Aura hadn’t spoken, dazzling James Balantine with another of her beautiful smiles before going up the stairs.

  James Ballantine watched her go with vaguely disturbed eyes. ‘She’s very lovely,’ he said suddenly.

  ‘Yes,’ Aura snapped, suddenly in control again. OK, so out of the dark suit he had worn earlier today and wearing casual denims and a leather jacket instead, he looked devastating; that was no reason to forget that this man had to be here for a purpose, and she had to know what that purpose was. ‘Have you come to tell me—’

  ‘She seems a little—not quite of this world.’ He still gazed after her mother.

  ‘Yes,’ she bit out tautly. ‘Now would you—’

  ‘But so very beautiful,’ he said again dazedly, as if completely mesmerised.

  ‘Mr Ballantine—’

  ‘James,’ he corrected gruffly, crossing the room to her side in two strides. ‘Don’t expect me to be coherent when I’ve just seen what you’re going to look like in twenty years’ time,’ he murmured softly. ‘Aura …!’

  She didn’t have time to prevent the contact as his head bent to hers and the mouth that she had classed as sensual on sight took possession of her. That was the only way to describe what happened to her, James not just claiming her mouth but branding the whole of her body with his touch.

  One hand curved about her nape while the other one held her tightly about the hips, making her aware of the difference in their heights as the hardness of his thighs was crushed against her stomach, stirring a strange emotion there while the hand at her nape offered her mouth up to his like a sacrifice. Like a starving man he took and took, and still he hadn’t taken his fill. Not that Aura didn’t take too, standing on bare tip-toes to entangle her hands in the thickness of his hair as she matched the hunger.

  She looked up at him with dazed eyes as he slowly put her back down on the carpeted floor, wondering how she had ever thought him unapproachable, his emotions held firmly in check; there was no mistaking the hunger displayed in his eyes—and it was all directed towards her!

  She stepped back, swallowing hard. ‘You shouldn’t have done that.’ She should have sounded firmer and not quite so breathless! He shouldn’t have done that, had left her weak and dazed.

  ‘I’m going to do it again in a moment,’ he promised throatily. ‘But before I do we had better get business out of the way; I don’t think either of us will be capable of discussing it later on!’ he added ruefully.

  She held up protesting hands. ‘What happened between us—’

  ‘Happens every time I look at you,’ he admitted softly, dark green eyes devouring her parted lips as his gaze rested upon them. ‘I want you.’

  Aura was speechless. Men just didn’t say things like that, so bluntly it made her blush. They flattered, and cajoled, and coerced, they didn’t tempt. And that last description fitted exactly what James was doing to her, only having to look at him to feel a leap of her senses. But the first three exactly described what Adrian had tried to do to her.

  Her mouth tightened at the thought of the other man. ‘You said you came here to discuss business,’ she prompted abruptly.

  ‘To start with,’ he drawled, reaching into the inside breast pocket of his jacket to hand her the envelope he had removed. ‘Your lease,’ he explained at her questioning look. ‘All it needs is your signature, duly witnessed, of course.’

  Aura gaped at him, sure she couldn’t have heard him correctly, quickly opening the envelope to stare at the legal document. It was the lease to her shop, for the length of five years. It was more than she had hoped for. More …?

  Her smile faded as she looked up at James warily. ‘What’s the price?’ she snapped.

  He frowned. ‘The terms are in the agreement—’

  ‘I meant your price.’ She looked at him challengingly.

  He became suddenly still, and if she had thought him unapproachable this morning she now knew what unapproachable was! His eyes were glacial, his mouth a thin angry line, those ominous slashes grooved into his cheeks. And Aura knew with certainty that she had completely misunderstood this man’s motives in helping her.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she rushed into breathless speech. ‘I just—why did you—and your partner, change your minds?’ she frowned.

  ‘We didn’t,’ he rasped. ‘I had never refused to renew your lease, and Adrian obviously only made the mistake in his haste to be off on his holiday. I’m sorry you’ve had to be upset in this way, but that’s the only explanation I can give you for the mistake.’

  She had really insulted him, and he wasn’t going to forgive her easily. But she had been so used to dealing with men like Adrian! ‘I really am sorry I thought—that, about you, James. I—’

  He visibly relaxed. ‘I’ll forgive you—because you called me James for the first time.’

  He had far from forgiven the slight, she could see that, but he was willing to forget it, for the moment. ‘I—if your partner is away, and unable to sign this document,’ she began slowly, chewing on her inner lip, ‘is it still legal? And binding?’

  James smiled at her suspicion this time. ‘Completely,’ he drawled.

  ‘But—’

  “‘Oh ye of little faith”,’ James mocked. ‘One of these days you’ll have to tell me why you’re so distrusting. But not now,’ he accepted ruefully at her silence. ‘OK,’ he sighed. ‘Well, whenever either my partner or I are away the other has complete power. My God, if I had to wait for Adrian’s approval to anything every time he took his wife on holiday I’d never get anything done!’ he scorned.

  Aura felt herself pale. Wife? Adrian was married? Oh God, not again, she couldn’t go through that again!

  CHAPTER TWO

  ‘HE,’ James continued gratingly, unaware of Aura’s distress, ‘takes Selina away with sickening regularity.’

  She swallowed hard. Married. Why hadn’t she realised that? ‘Sickening?’ she echoed dully, lost in the misery of what could have happened if she had been attracted to Adrian enough to accept the intimate relationship he had wanted.

  ‘Mm,’ James sighed his impatience. ‘You would have to know Adrian well to realise why. My business partner isn’t—well, he isn’t as faithful as he could be. Damn it, he isn’t faithful at all,’ he rasped disgustedly. ‘As soon as his latest affair ends he whisks his wife away on an expensive holiday. I think his guilty conscience catches up with him,’ he added grimly.

  Latest affair? Oh God, was that her? Well, unless Adrian had met someone in the last week it had to be! She felt ill. ‘Doesn’t his wife realise what’s going on?’

  James turned away. ‘I’ve never spoken to her about it,’ he bit out.

  A wife could usually tell if it went on long enough, and if Adrian made a habit of this …! ‘Perhaps she doesn’t mind,’ Aura suggested lightly. ‘Some women don’t, you know.’

  He shrugged. ‘I really wouldn’t know, Selina doesn’t discuss her marriage with me. But after ten years of it—’

  ‘He’s been unfaithful to her all that time?’ Aura gasped.

  His mouth twisted. ‘I would say that even Adrian was faithful to begin with. Besides, there was Robert to consider.’

  Aura blinked, almost afraid to ask the question, but knowing she had to. ‘Robert?’<
br />
  ‘Their son,’ James confirmed her worst dread. ‘He’s nine now, and away at boarding school most of the time, but I’m sure my partner would have been a little more discreet in his actions when the boy was still at home.’

  A child was involved too. It was like a sickening rerun of a nightmare. Adrian had acted nothing like a man with a wife and child to go home to, hadn’t seemed to care what time of night he left her, or how often he came to see her and took her out. Surely his wife had to realise there was something strange about his constant absences? Maybe she considered the holidays ample recompense. She knew of other women like that.

  But what she had learnt about Adrian today made Aura want to run away and hide so that no one need ever know that she had been out with him. My God, when she considered the times she had been out with him; anyone could have seen them together. She wouldn’t be able to survive another scandal like that.

  She looked at James Ballantine with wary eyes. ‘I shouldn’t keep you any longer. Thank you for bringing round the lease, and—’

  ‘Aura,’ he cut in gently, ‘when I told you earlier today I don’t have a mistress, a girlfriend, or a casual date, I should also have included a wife to that list.’ He put his arms about her. ‘I’m not a married man.’

  She was relieved to learn that, but she still couldn’t have anything to do with this man. If he should ever realise that she had been his partner’s ‘latest affair’ … Well, not quite, but who would believe a denial of that coming from her? And she was sure that when this man looked at a person with disgust they would feel as if they had been burnt.

  She tried to pull out of his arms. ‘I think you should go—’

  ‘I’d rather not,’ he groaned into her hair.

  She stod completely still. ‘I’m asking you to go,’ she said shakily.

  He drew back slightly to look down at her. ‘Aura, I realise we don’t know each other very well—’

  ‘We don’t know each other at all,’ she corrected—and as far as she was concerned it was going to remain that way!