Secret Passion

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘And I’m no longer necessary,’ he finished grimly, emerald clashing angrily with brown. ‘I’d like to punch him on the nose.’

  She gave a startled frown. ‘Who?’

  ‘The man who let you down when you needed him, so you’ve decided never to need anyone again,’ James rasped, his eyes narrowed.

  The pain in her chest was emotional, an aching reminder of how well this man had come to know her. ‘It’s a rule I never intend to break.’ She met his gaze unflinchingly, knowing that if he didn’t soon leave, her control would be shattered.

  He drew in a ragged breath, fighting for control. ‘A little at a time, Aura,’ he reminded her.

  She shook her head. ‘You ask for too much.’

  His eyes darkened with pain. ‘So do you,’ he said huskily. ‘I can’t give you up.’

  ‘You never had me.’

  ‘Oh, yes.’ He stood in front of her now, gently caressing each side of her face. ‘Briefly, like the touch of a butterfly, you were mine.’ His thumbs softly touched her trembling mouth. ‘Don’t shut me out, Aura,’ he pleaded.

  She drew in a harsh breath. ‘Can’t you see that I have to?’ she groaned, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

  ‘The only thing you have to do at this moment is kiss me,’ he encouraged raggedly. ‘It’s hours since I even touched you!’

  He felt so good, smelt so good, a combination of aftershave and pure James—and he tasted just as good.

  She could become addicted to his kisses, already knew the flat was going to seem empty without him.

  ‘I’ll just—oh! Oh,’ her mother said lightly.

  Aura’s cheeks burnt as she broke away from James to turn to her.

  Her mother beamed at them both. ‘I just thought I would take Marmaduke upstairs in his basket so that we can both get some sleep. Please, don’t let me interrupt you,’ she said vaguely, carrying the sleeping cat up the stairs.

  Aura turned back to James, her embarrassment fading as she saw the amusement in his eyes and the twitch of his mouth as he fought not to laugh. She tried to look stern, and failed miserably, smiling weakly. ‘I always thought parents were supposed to object, not encourage you to carry on,’ she said disgustedly.

  ‘Have dinner with me tomorrow night?’ he said huskily.

  ‘Yes. No! I can’t.’ She shook her head, totally disconcerted by the unexpectedness of the invitation—as he had known she would be.

  ‘I want to strangle him!’ James grated with feeling. ‘Come on, Aura, I’m only asking you out to dinner, not something disreputable.’

  She gave a half-smile. ‘Are you always this persistent?’

  His mouth twisted. ‘Only with the woman who is slowly driving me out of my mind!’

  She felt a tremor of exictement at the admission. ‘I really can’t, James,’ she choked.

  ‘Is there something wrong with being seen out in public with me?’ he rasped.

  Not for any reason she would ever be able to tell him. She knew he wouldn’t believe her if she told him so, but he was the one who could be embarrassed if anyone recognised her.

  ‘My place,’ he bit out. ‘We can have dinner at my apartment.’

  It was tempting, to be able to be with him knowing there was no chance of recognition. But she also knew she would be tempted into wanting more than just dinner.

  ‘Your mother can come too,’ he added desperately as she still didn’t answer him.

  Aura smiled at that. ‘Mummy wouldn’t go without Marmaduke in which case we might as well have dinner here.’

  ‘I’ll bring the wine—’

  ‘No.’ She sighed as he looked at her expectantly. ‘I’ll bring the wine. But on Saturday; tomorrow I keep the shop open late. So I’ll bring the wine on Saturday night.’

  Dark brows rose over amused green eyes. ‘An independent woman?’

  ‘You wouldn’t think so from the last few days,’ she said drily, strangely feeling an overwhelming relief now that the problem of whether or not she would see James again had been settled.

  ‘I remember a very angry, very determined young woman visiting my office a week ago,’ he gently mocked.

  ‘I’m sure you were terrified,’ she derided, doubting that anything unnerved this man, his quiet strength invincible.

  ‘For a while I was,’ he answered seriously, caressing her mouth. ‘It’s hard, letting yourself care again, isn’t it?’

  She swallowed hard, knowing he was trying to reassure her by revealing his own vulnerability. Maybe they were alike, both hurt by the past and afraid to trust the future. But James wasn’t a man who would remain afraid of anything. What would they do if he fell in love with her too?

  ‘That isn’t what we’re doing, James,’ she dismissed distantly. ‘We hardly know each other.’

  ‘On Saturday we’ll get to know all there is to know about each other,’ he promised softly. ‘You can tell me your life story, if you like.’

  She stiffened, pulling away from him. ‘I don’t like! If that’s one of the conditions for having dinner with you, then I—’

  ‘It isn’t.’ He held up his hands defensively. ‘God, Aura, why is it that being with you is like walking on eggshells the whole time? You only have to tell me what you want me to know,’ he sighed at her unyielding expression. ‘I’m not going to be taking down notes so that I can check their authenticity once you’ve gone. I’m certainly not interested in hearing about anyone you were involved with before we met,’ he scowled.

  Her mother was right, he was a possessive man. He was also the man she loved. How could she not love him? ‘In that case, neither am I,’ she returned lightly. ‘When do you want me?’ She knew it was the wrong thing to have said as soon as the words left her lips, his eyes darkening warmly. ‘To arrive for dinner,’ she clarified drily.

  ‘Eight o’clock will be fine,’ he replied with amusement. ‘I’m going to leave now before you change your mind!’

  ‘I can always pick up the telephone,’ she reminded him.

  ‘I’ll refuse your calls like I did last time.’ He shrugged unconcernedly.

  ‘This time I would leave a message,’ she warned him.

  All the next day she told herself to pick up the telephone and do exactly that. But she couldn’t do it. What if this were the last time she saw him? It had to be the last time. Wasn’t every woman entitled to be with the man she loved when she said goodbye to him?

  ‘You look lovely, darling.’ Her mother looked up and smiled, the cat snoozing in his basket beside her as she watched television.

  * * *

  Aura was so nervous she was shaking with the tension, had changed her dress three times, finally settling on a pale green sheath of a gown that gave her the sophistication she felt would be needed to make the break from James final.

  She frowned uncertainly. ‘You’re sure the two of you will be all right here on your own? If not just say so and I can—’

  ‘Aura, Marmaduke and I will be just fine,’ her mother assured her.

  ‘I’ve left James’s number on the pad beside the telephone. And—’

  ‘Aura,’ she was gently interrupted again. ‘Will you just go out and enjoy yourself!’

  She didn’t doubt that her mother would cope perfectly well while she was gone; she was the one who was nervous. Going to James’s apartment, the two of them alone, where no one could interrupt them, was not a sensible thing to be doing. Once again she thought of picking up the telephone and calling him to cancel their date.

  The ringing of the doorbell startled her so much she dropped her clutch-bag to the floor, all the contents spilling out on to the carpet. Surely James hadn’t anticipated her cowardice and come to get her after all?

  ‘I’ll answer it, dear,’ her mother reassured her as she grovelled about on the floor searching for her missing lip-gloss.

  Damn James. Give a little, he had said. Turning up in this way was demanding.

  ‘Look who’s here, Aura,’ her mother announced l
ightly.

  If James thought she was going with him after this he was sadly mistaken! She wouldn’t—

  ‘Aura?’ her mother prompted again.

  She grabbed the errant lip gloss from under the sofa and straightened, the colour fading from her flushed cheeks as she faced their visitor. Adrian …

  CHAPTER FIVE

  HANDSOME didn’t begin to describe Adrian Mayhew; he had the sort of golden good looks a film-star or male model would envy, like a youthful Robert Redford with his blond hair that showed sun-bleached highlights after his holiday as it fell with deliberate casualness across his brow, his blue eyes twinkling with good humour.

  And he left Aura cold. Totally cold.

  ‘Hi,’ he greeted her softly, his gaze frankly admiring on her slender beauty in the pale green gown.

  What was he doing here? Had he spoken to James? Did he know about the two of them seeing each other? More to the point, did James now know about her and Adrian!

  ‘I’ll just take Marmaduke through to the kitchen for his supper,’ her mother put in gently, the two of them, Marmaduke in his cat basket, gone within seconds.

  Aura stared at Adrian warily. What did he want?’

  ‘What’s wrong with the cat?’ He arched blond brows.

  ‘An accident,’ she dismissed abruptly.

  He shrugged. ‘You’re looking well,’ he told her huskily, the beige suit he wore showing off his tan perfectly, his grin sparkling white against his bronzed skin.

  ‘So are you,’ she returned drily, relieved when her voice sounded normal.

  He gave a dismissive shrug. ‘There isn’t much to do but sunbathe in Antigua.’

  ‘Poor you,’ she returned caustically. ‘All that sun and clear blue sea must have been awful for you.’

  He looked irritated. ‘Didn’t you wonder where I had got to?’

  ‘No.’ She was in complete control again now, moving from behind the sofa to face him.

  His eyes hardened. ‘You weren’t interested in seeing me?’

  She gave a disbelieving laugh. ‘Certainly not.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Adrian, I believe I made my feelings clear concerning seeing you again the last time we met,’ she cut in harshly.

  His face was flushed at the dismissal. ‘But it’s different now.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘Is it?’

  ‘Aura, cut out the act and admit you’ve been desperate to contact me,’ he rasped.

  ‘I most certainly—ah,’ her brow cleared, ‘I forgot. So much has happened this last week that I completely forgot about that little problem with my lease.’ She gave a weary sigh. ‘That is what you’re talking about, isn’t it?’

  ‘It certainly isn’t a little problem,’ Adrian looked furious. ‘And how the hell could you forget about something like that?’

  ‘Other—problems,’ she evaded, her head back at his challenge. So much had happened since he had been away that she had forgotten her initial reason for meeting James; it certainly hadn’t occurred to her that she would have to face a confrontation like this with Adrian, never imagining that he would come straight to see her on his return from his holiday without having first been to his office. She had been expecting anger from him at having his plan thwarted, not uninformed satisfaction on his part, believing he had her at a disadvantage. ‘I presume you’ve come here to bargain?’ she drawled.

  He looked smug, like a man who was about to get his fondest wish—and without too much effort on his part. ‘Crudely put, but—’

  ‘True,’ she finished drily. ‘And what do you have to bargain with, Adrian?’

  ‘You know damn well I can give you that lease—in return for the relationship you cheated me out of,’ he said triumphantly.

  ‘Did you think of this all by yourself or did someone have to help you?’ she dismissed scathingly.

  His eyes narrowed, his lips thinned. ‘If you don’t stop playing games with me you can forget all about your lease—no matter what you may feel inclined to offer,’ he told her nastily.

  ‘Tell me, Adrian,’ she said slowly. ‘Did your wife enjoy her holiday too?’

  Some of the bravado deserted him, his expression suddenly wary. ‘So, you know that I’m married.’ He shrugged.

  ‘Did your son go with you too, or is he still away at school?’

  ‘What is this?’ he demanded impatiently. ‘OK, so I’m married and have a son; what does that have to do with us?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she assured him shruggingly. ‘I just wondered if—Selina and Robert, isn’t it?—enjoyed their holidays too?’

  ‘Selina had a great time—as usual,’ he scowled. ‘My son is still at school. Now can we talk about your lease?’

  She arched blonde brows. ‘What about it?’

  Adrian gave a low growl in his throat. ‘You got the lawyers’ letter!’

  ‘Of course I got it,’ she assured him. ‘And when I saw your partner last week he was most apologetic about the mistake that had obviously been made,’ she added.

  ‘James?’ he grated. ‘You’ve discussed this with him?’

  She nodded. ‘Not only discussed it with him but settled it with him too.’

  Adrian looked as if he had had the rug pulled out from under him. ‘You have a new lease?’ he asked.

  ‘I do.’ She gave an inclination of her head. ‘I’m sorry if anticipating my distress, and my not being able to contact you, has sustained you through the terrible ordeal of a holiday in the Caribbean, but my lease is all legally renewed—and binding,’ she added with satisfaction.

  ‘James wouldn’t—he couldn’t—’ Adrian gave her a sharp look. ‘Did you tell him about us?’

  ‘Us?’ She arched brows. ‘There isn’t any us, and there never was. Now if you will excuse me, Mr Mayhew, I have an appointment this evening,’ she said pointedly.

  He clasped her arm, his grip painful. ‘I want you, Aura!’

  She shook off his restraining hand, her eyes flashing furiously. ‘Don’t touch me!’ she hissed.

  ‘Or what?’ he challenged contemptuously.

  Her breathing was agitated. ‘I asked you to leave; which of us do you think would be the more embarrassed if I had to ask for official help to achieve that?’ She met his gaze defiantly, hoping he wouldn’t force her to carry out that challenge—because she would lose!

  He stepped back. ‘You’re going to regret this, Aura, going to regret the day you went to my partner behind my back!’

  She already regretted meeting James and falling in love with him! But it was Adrian’s calm that worried her now. He was too calm in the face of defeat, had already proved he wasn’t a man to make an enemy of.

  ‘Goodbye, Adrian,’ she said firmly.

  His mouth twisted. ‘I don’t think so,’ he drawled, giving her a mocking smile before taking his leave.

  Aura leant weakly against the sofa, more shaken by the meeting than she wanted to acknowledge.

  This confrontation had been nothing like she had imagined, sure Adrian wouldn’t find out his plan had failed until he returned to his office and realised he had no further hold on her.

  He was angry now, but if he ever found out she had actually dated James … How much more determined to have her would he be then?

  God, he was dangerous.

  How she wished she had never met Adrian. Or James. How much more peaceful—and safe—her life had been then!

  ‘Aren’t you going to be very late?’

  She looked up at her mother’s query, glancing quickly at her wrist-watch, groaning when she saw it was already after eight o’clock; James would be wondering what had happened to her.

  But she couldn’t face him now, was too shaken from her meeting with Adrian.

  ‘I’m not going.’ She shook her head. ‘I—I’m not feeling well.’

  Her mother instantly looked concerned. ‘What is it, dear?’

  ‘I—a headache,’ she invented. ‘I have a terrible headache.’

  Her mother f
rowned. ‘Has Adrian upset you in some way?’

  ‘No, of course not. Although it was a little—awkward, having him turn up here in that way,’ she excused herself.

  ‘That’s what I thought,’ her mother nodded. ‘Do you want me to call James?’

  ‘What for?’ she said sharply.

  ‘To tell him about your headache, of course.’ She looked puzzled by Aura’s vehemence. ‘He’s sure to be concerned.’

  ‘I—no, I’ll call him,’ she decided, her palms damp. She wasn’t even going to be able to see James one last time!

  James answered the telephone on the second ring, and she knew he had been anticipating her call.

  ‘The cat’s had a relapse. Your mother isn’t feeling well. The shop has burnt to the ground,’ he drawled after she had identified herself.

  Aura stiffened. Was she such a coward? Yes, came the unhesitant reply, when it came to this man she was. And she couldn’t bear his disappointment in her. ‘I’m running a little late,’ she told him coolly. ‘I should be there in about twenty minutes.’

  For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to answer her, and then came his audible sigh of relief. ‘I’ll be waiting,’ he told her gruffly.

  Aura stared at the receiver for several minutes after she had softly replaced it. She didn’t need the nagging little voice in the back of her head telling her she had made a mistake. Just as she didn’t need the soaring of her heart to tell her she wanted this last evening with James desperately!

  She stood up decisively, going through to the kitchen to see her mother. ‘I’m going out after all. I—my headache’s gone.’ She faltered slightly over the deception.

  ‘I’m glad,’ her mother nodded. ‘Have a nice time.’

  Had she imagined it, or had there been a gleam of laughter in her mother’s eyes at her about-face after talking to James?

  Something strange, and wonderful, seemed to be happening to her mother, a slow return to awareness of the world about her. The signs were small, and could turn out to be insignificant, but they could also be the miracle Aura had hoped for.

  She was so lost in thought that she barely registered the drive to James’s apartment, suddenly finding herself outside his door, her heart beating an erratic tune in her chest.