The Emperor's Bride

by Caylen McQueen

  When Josiah flung open the door, he heard a trio of terrified screams from the three ladies inside.

  “Tom!” shrieked the girl in the fanciest attire. Josiah assumed he was looking at the princess. Beside her sat the masked man, the one who shot Carol Cassady. As she cradled his cold, limp hand to her cheek, she was practically in tears “Tom... oh god... you killed him!”

  “Not at all, my lady.” Josiah swept his hat from his head and held it over his heart. “I swear to you, that man isn't dead. He's only unconscious.”

  “Yep,” agreed Carol, who dismounted her horse and limped to Josiah's side. “My partner never kills anyone. He's actually kind of nice... for a thieving scoundrel who may or may not have committed arson at one time.”

  “Well, I wouldn't say never kills,” Josiah quietly corrected her. “I just try not to kill anyone who doesn't deserve it. Now... which of you lovely ladies is Princess Isabella?”

  Isabella exchanged timid glances with her handmaidens before slowly raising her hand.

  “Hi, Princess. My name's Josiah Cole. It's real lovely to meet you.” Josiah hopped into the carriage's interior, took her hand, and kissed it. “It's lovely to meet all of you. Now... I hate to say it, but I'm going to be robbing you. Believe me, I don't want to... but my brother's life probably depends on it, so I'm hoping you'll understand.”

  “Here,” Isabella shoved a money bag into his hands. “I'm not traveling with much, but... it's yours.”

  “And here.” One of the handmaidens tossed her reticule at him. “I'm far from rich, but you can have it.”

  “Are you sure, sweetheart?” Josiah opened her reticule and peered inside. “I don't want to steal from you if you don't got a lot.”

  “It... it's okay,” the handmaiden weakly assured him. As she studied Josiah, her heart grappled with opposing emotions. On one hand, he frightened her. On the other hand, she found him oddly appealing.

  “How about you?” Josiah asked, turning his attention to the second handmaiden. “Do you have anything? What about that necklace you're wearing?” He pointed at her jade pendant. “Does that have sentimental value?”

  “No. Not really.” The second handmaiden removed the necklace and tossed it at him.

  “Are you sure? Because I won't take it if it was a gift from your granddad or something.”

  “It's not,” she replied. “And besides, you're probably the friendliest thief ever, so I really don't mind if you take it.”

  Josiah finally opened the princess' money bag and checked its contents. While it was hardly enough money to retire on, there was certainly enough to pay back Nicky's debt to the Hershalls. Turning back to the princess, Josiah asked, “How about your rings, Your Highness? Do you think you could give up any of those?”

  “Well...” Isabella removed the ring on her right hand and passed it to him. “You can have that one, but I'd rather keep this one, if you don't mind.” With a frown, she pointed at the diamond on her left hand. “It's my engagement ring from my fiance. He's... sitting right next to me.”

  “Aww. I'm sorry about that,” Josiah's frown mirrored hers. “But he'll wake up soon enough,

  okay? I promise.”

  “Can I keep my ring?” Isabella's voice trembled as she asked the question. She was scared of him. When it dawned on him, Josiah's shoulders fell. He hated to be the cause of a lady's fear.

  “Of course, sweetheart. Of course.” Josiah gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I'm really sorry if I've made you upset, Princess. I mean it. And if we ever cross paths again someday, I'll try to make it up to you.”

  “Oh my god!” one of the handmaidens suddenly bellowed. Her temptation finally conquered her sense. “He's so cute.”

  “God, I know...” the second handmaiden breathlessly agreed. “I can't believe I'm saying this about the man who's robbing us, but... I wish we could keep him.”

  When Josiah smiled at the women, and they collectively sighed, Carol stuck her head in the carriage's interior and bellowed, “Oh, come on! Puh-please! His ego's already outrageous. If you keep telling him things like that, his big head isn't going to fit inside the carriage anymore.”

  Josiah bowed his head to the ladies as he climbed out of the vehicle. “It was really nice to meet you all.” His smile lingered, as did their awestruck expressions. “Take care of yourselves.”

  “Seriously...” Carol muttered to herself as she hobbled away. “He's so overrated. They see those big blue eyes, and then he flutters those long blonde eyelashes, and that's all they can--”

  “Carol?” Josiah suddenly tapped her shoulder, making her jump. “Were you saying something?”

  “Me? Oh, I was just talking about how dashing and heroic and wonderful you are,” Carol stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. “Seriously... you rob them, and they still want to get into your britches? How the hell did you pull that off, Mr. Josiah Cole?”

  “I just can't turn off all of this charm,” Josiah smirked. “Believe me, I've tried.”

  “Gag,” Carol groaned. “Oh... and by the way, my leg hurts like hell. Do you think we can do something about that?”

  Twenty

  As soon as they were a safe distance from the robbery, Josiah leapt from his horse, pulled Carol off of hers, and lowered her to the ground. He didn't warn her or ask for permission, he simply acted.

  “Hey hey hey!” Carol shrilled when she saw him pull a knife from the pocket of his coat. “What are you doing?”

  “What's it look like I'm doing?” When Josiah used the knife to cut up the leg of her breeches, Carol's eyes comically bulged. “I need to treat this wound of yours, Miss Cassady.”

  “You just ruined my trousers!” she whined. And he kept cutting higher and higher, ignoring her protests. “And you're still ruining them!”

  “To hell with your clothes, girl. I think your life's more important than a damn pair of pants.”

  “Fine. But you owe me a new pair, Josiah Cole!”

  “Good. Then maybe I'll buy you a pair that isn't bright red with tassels around the waist!”

  “Yeah. Go ahead. Buy me something boring. You keep trying to take away my uniqueness, and it's not nice! You're going to turn me into everyone else!”

  “Umm...” Jun timidly interrupted their argument. “Josiah... is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Not really.” Josiah opened a bottle of whiskey and poured it on his knife. Then he laid open Carol's gaping trousers and leaned closer to her wound, which was on the top of her leg, not far from her hip. “Are you ready for this, Miss Ca--”

  “I don't know if I'm okay with letting you do this at all!” Carol interrupted in the shrillest of voices. “Shouldn't I go to a doctor?”

  “How many bullet wounds do you think I've treated? Huh? I'm practically a damn doctor as it is.” Josiah brought the whiskey to her lips, encouraging her to take a sip. Carol accepted the drink, even though her eyes were narrowed. “Now you better brace yourself, girl, because this is gonna hurt like hell.”

  “Great. Wonderful. I can't waaaaaaaaiiiiiii--” When he poured the whiskey on her wound, she could have sworn he spilled liquid fire on her. “I hate you, Josiah Cole! Do you know that? I hate hate hate hate hate!”

  “You're gonna hate me a whole lot more in a bit,” he said, giving her another swig from the bottle. Satisfied, he laid the bottle aside and took out a pair of forceps. “It's time to get the bullet out. Are you ready?”

  “No. Oh hell no!” Carol's voice boomed. When Gwen tried to sit beside her and take her hand, she shoved her away. “Oh god oh god oh god oh god... okay, just get it over with!”

  Josiah brought the forceps to her wound, and as he wiggled the bullet out, Carol was in so much pain, she invented new curses to express her wrath. “You bastard monkey motherfaahahaowwww! You horse-shagging son of a... stupid bean-cooking money-grubbing tail-chasing gaaaaawd I hate you Josiah Cole and I hope you get slapped in the face with a dick!”

  “There!” Josiah
smiled as he held up the bullet. “I got it.”

  Carol didn't respond, she simply whimpered pitifully. As he wrapped up her wound, she breathed a sigh of relief, because the worst part was officially over. “Sorry I, uh... I'm sorry I said all that,” Carol muttered a sheepish apology. “I guess all that pain really ruffled my anger.”

  “It's alright. Believe me, I understand.” When he was done, Josiah whisked her off the ground and carried her back to her horse.

  “I can walk, you know,” Carol grumpily reminded him.

  “Yeah, I know. Now... I guess our next destination should be Yooma, huh?” After several days in Carol's company, Josiah learned to ignore the bulk of her griping. As he turned to Jun, he ripped the bandana from his neck and used it to swab his brow. Treating Carol's wound had unnerved him more than he let on. “Jun... I'm really sorry about this. At this point, I'm taking you out of your way. You want to go to Santo Feo, not Yooma.”

  “It's okay.” For the next few seconds, Jun nervously nibbled her bottom lip. Every time Josiah spoke to her, she felt coy. “As long as I'm with people, I'm alright. My uncle can wait.”

  “Gwen...” Josiah heaved a sigh as he addressed the third and final female in his group. “Are you willing to come to Yooma?”

  “Of course!” Happy to finally have his attention, Gwen hopped forward and hugged his arm. “I just want to be with you, remember? I don't care where we go.”

  “Alright then. Who's riding with me, and who's riding with Carol?”

  “I'm riding with you!” Gwen practically screamed her answer. Grinning maniacally, she climbed onto Josiah's horse and waited for him to join her. When he mounted the horse in front of her and her arms slid around him, Gwen's heart sang a joyous sonata. She was exactly where she wanted to be.

  Several hours later, after an uneventful trip, they were only halfway to Yooma. Despite the setting sun, Josiah kept them traveling a little while longer. He was determined to get to town and find warm beds for the girls, but when he glanced at Jun and saw her eyelids drooping, he felt guilty about pushing them further. Josiah stopped his horse and declared it was time to make camp.

  “Oh, thank god!” Carol exclaimed as she slid down from her horse. “My ass couldn't take much more of that! All this riding and bumpity-bumping in the saddle is starting to kill me.” With a heavy sigh, she collapsed to the ground and checked her wound.

  Josiah helped Gwen from the horse, then he offered an assist to Jun. As his hand held Jun's, he asked, “How is your leg, Carol?”

  “Oh, it's fine. It feels like my leg might fall off at any minute, but other than that... I'm absolutely, positively fine and dandy.”

  Within seconds, Josiah built a fire, and the four of them settled down for the night. Carol was bored, and she wasn't quite ready to sleep, so she took out her miniature robot and said, “Gogobot on... Gogobot... music!”

  As soon as he whirred to life, Gogobot's head lit up, and he blasted a peaceful piano track, which might have been soothing, if not for the fact that it was several decibels too loud.

  “Damn, Carol, can you turn that down? Or do you want every living creature out here to know exactly where we are?” When he realized Carol couldn't hear him over the deafening piano, he leaned toward Gogobot and yelled, “Gogobot, turn your ass down!” By some miracle, Gogobot obeyed, and the music continued at a more acceptable level.

  Carol's lips twitched into a pout. “Poor Gogobot! You don't have to yell at him!”

  “I only yelled because no one could hear me over that damn music!”

  “Oh my god, why do you always yell at me, Josiah?” Carol snapped at him. “I swear, you're so nice to all the other girls, but you always yell at me! Is this how you treat your sidesidekicks? Huh? Because if it is, I'm divorcing you!”

  “Maybe I'm nice to the other girls because they don't scream profanities at me when I'm trying to help them. When I was removing your bullet, you said some... interesting things.”

  “Oh, come on. You deserved that!” Carol shook a finger at him. “You were torturing me at the time!”

  “I wasn't torturing you, lady, I was saving your life! There's a big damn difference!”

  As she listened to their row—which was one of many—Jun pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She thought her spirits would be lifted by Josiah's company, but her mind lingered on her most depressing thoughts. She missed her idyllic life in Hépíng. She missed everyone and everything. She missed--

  “You alright?”

  The sound of Josiah's voice shook Jun from her reverie. “I think so. Are you done with arguing with Carol?”

  “I'm always done arguing with her. The problem is, she never gets tired of arguing with me.” Josiah thought he saw Jun shuddering, so he asked, “Hey... are you cold?”

  “Maybe a bit.”

  Before she could say another word, Josiah rushed away to grab a blanket. When he returned, he draped it around her shoulders and sat beside her. “Are you sure you're alright? Because if you need to talk to someone, I'd happily lend an ear.”

  “Well, I... uh...” Josiah's closeness had temporarily scrambled her thoughts. Her brain was mush, her cheeks were overspread with blush, and her heart thumped wildly. She almost forgot her reason for being upset. “I guess I was just missing my home.”

  “Ah. That's understandable.”

  “Is there any place you miss, Mr. Cole? Or... anyone?” In truth, she knew very little about him. For all she knew, he might have had a wife waiting for him at home. Jun hoped to rule out that possibility.

  “Nah. I don't really tie myself down to one particular place,” Josiah said. “Or person, for that matter.”

  “Oh. So... there's no one special in your life? No... special person?”

  “No.” Josiah's answer was accompanied by a light chuckle. “That's not to say I wouldn't want a special person, I just haven't found anyone yet.”

  “O-oh...” Jun tucked her hair behind her ear so many times, she knew she had to look nervous. Every time his eyes met hers, she stopped breathing for awhile. Every glance was meaningful to her.

  “Well... you keep that blanket, Miss Jun,” Josiah said, rising from the ground. He left her side much sooner than she had hoped. “Gwen's already claimed my bedroll, so I'm afraid a blanket is the best I can offer.”

  “It's more than enough. Thanks.”

  Josiah retreated to his own patch of dirt and laid on the ground. He had already sacrificed his bedroll and blankets to the ladies that surrounded him, so he had nothing left for himself. Fortunately, Josiah could sleep almost anywhere. He slid his hat over his eyes and tried to block out everything around him.

  And he was almost successful—until he felt Gwen's arm sliding around his waist.

  “Josiah! Josiah, I can't sleep!” Gwen somehow managed to whisper and whine at the same time. “Can I sleep next to you?”

  “Uh... no,” Josiah immediately sat up. “Your Pa would kill me.”

  “But I... I...”

  “Is there a reason why that bedroll's not working for you, sweetheart?” Josiah's eyes briefly flickered over her chest. Gwen's blouse was partially unbuttoned and her breasts were half-exposed. He might have known her since she was a child, but Josiah was still a flesh and blood man with a pulse. He could hardly blame himself for looking.

  “I, uh... I...” Gwen scoured her mind for a decent excuse. And then the perfect reason dawned on her. “I thought I heard a snake.”

  “A snake?”

  “Uh huh. It's, uh... it's inside the bedroll, I think.” Gwen dragged a hand across Josiah's chest, simply because she was desperate to touch him. “Can I stay with you? Can I snuggle you and... and nuzzle my cheek against your chest? I'd feel a lot safer, I think.”

  “I don't think that's a good idea. Why don't I check your bedroll and see if that snake's still in there, and then you can--”

  “Noooo!” When Josiah hopped to his feet, Gwen grabbed his arm and dragged him back t
o the ground. “Please don't go, Josiah! I just... I just really want to be close to you. That's all. There's no snake. I lied.”

  “Gwen...” Josiah raked a hand across the entire length of his face. For several seconds, his eyes were glassy and emotionless. She was really testing his gentlemanly restraint. “You can't keep doing this. You seem like a sweet girl, but I can't--” His voice trailed off when he saw her unbuttoning another button of her shirt.

  “Please,” she begged him. “Please. I want this. I want to be near you. I want--”

  Josiah's fingers hurriedly fumbled with the buttons of Gwen's shirt. If he was going to keep resisting temptation, he needed her clothes on, not off. When every last button was buttoned, all the way to her chin, Josiah motioned toward the empty bedroll. “Go back to bed, Gwen.”

  “But I--”

  “Back to bed,” he insisted. “We can't do this. Not right now.”

  “But... maybe some day?” Gwen's green eyes were vaguely hopeful.

  “Go to bed.” Josiah laid back down and shoved his hat over his eyes again. “Goodnight, Gwen.”

  “I know you think of me as a child!” Gwen hissed. “I know you do! But one of these days... you won't!”

  With that, Gwen stomped back to her bedroll and simmered in sleepless anger.

  Twenty One

  Naturally, Carol rushed to the poster board as soon as they entered Yooma.

  “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my goshhh!” She ripped another Josiah Cole wanted poster from the board and held it up for him to see. “You're worth six hundred dollars now! Well done!”

  If Josiah could have narrowed his eyes any further, they would have been closed. “Am I supposed to be proud of that?”

  “Well, yeah!” Carol flicked Josiah's wanted poster, right on his sketched face. “You're famous. I'd like to be famous! Well, I'm famous in my own right, I guess, for being a good mechanic and engineer and all that, but I'd rather be outlaw famous!”

  “Girl, you might be the craziest person I've ever met,” Josiah said as he strolled down Yooma's main street with Jun and Gwen. He left Carol behind, so she pocketed the wanted poster and hurried after them. “I've never known anyone who thought it was a good thing to have a price on their head.”