From Mistress to Wife

by Angie Hayes

  “Aww cuz, don’t cry anymore, you’ve cried enough.” Keisha said as she leaned over to hug me.

  “Do you remember all the shit that I went through with David?” she asked me as.

  “Girl I was in the twilight zone when I was with his dumb ass! But I found the strength, and I got myself out of it. Look at me now, I’m still living. You can do it to cousin. You’re strong, smart and beautiful. Any man would be glad to have you. Fuck Troy!” Keisha said causing me to smile.

  “I hear you loud and clear. I just need some time right now to wrap my mind around what I’m going to do. I also have to sleep this pain off, because my stomach is killing me.” I said as I rolled over in a fetal position.

  Even though my stomach was cramping, I really just wanted to be by myself. I guess I was just tired of hearing the I told you so lecture.

  “Okay, well you do that. I’m about to be out anyways. Call me if you need anything.” Keisha said as she got up to leave.

  “Thanks again for everything Keisha.” I said as I gave her a hug,

  “No problem, you know I got your back. Love you.” Keisha gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

  Once she was gone I pulled the covers over my head and closed my eyes. As I drifted off to sleep, I prayed that God forgives me again for the sin that I’d just committed.

  Chapter Seven

  Troy

  It’s been a week now and I do admit that I miss Alicia. I know that by now that she’s taken care of her little problem, because she left a message on my voicemail letting me know that it was handled. I just got off work and was on my way over to her apartment to butter her up. Cass has been tripping any damn way, so I needed to get the hell out of the house. She’s been in my fucking ear because one of my baby mothers showed up at the house with my shorty asking for me. I had to come home to a bunch of bullshit and noise.

  When she starts with the bitching, I just get to missing on her ass and leave her to talk to her damn self. I thought I was going to get some peace and quiet at Alicia’s crib, but as soon as I walked through the door, she was on some ‘we need to talk’ bullshit.

  “Troy I think we need to take a break. I don’t—“

  “What the fuck you talking about take a break? A break from what?” I cut her off.

  “A break from this fucked up shit that we call a relationship, that’s what!” she yelled standing up in front of me with her hands on her hips.

  Her facial expression let me know that she was serious, but I knew how to shut this shit down.

  “Man look, don’t start this shit. Fuck you talking about a damn break. Man yo’ ass ain’t going nowhere, and neither am I, so just shut that shit up and go get me a Corona.” I said as I sat down on the couch and cut on the television.

  “No Troy, I’m serious! I’m done with this…with you. I can’t do this shit anymore! My body can’t keep going through the shit that you’re putting me through. Three fucking abortions Troy, three!” she screamed holding up her fingers.

  “You have a wife and kids at home. Then you think you can put your hands on me whenever the hell you feel like it, take yo’ ass home and do that shit to your wife! I didn’t ask for this Troy!” Tears were flowing from her eyes as she stood in front of the TV blocking my view.

  “Look, first of muthafuckin all, yo’ ass was the one that chose to have all those fucking abortions. You ain’t woman enough to carry a baby no damn way, so go on with all that bullshit. Secondly, I knock you in the mouth when you start running that shit too much, like right now. Third, when I told you about my wife it was your choice to stay, so you can save that shit too! That’s how this game is played lil mama. Once you know the deal, you play your position and that’s what the fuck you need to do. Now can you get my beer and get the fuck outta my way?” I said as I leaned back on the couch trying to finish watching TV.

  “So that what this is to you Troy, a fucking game? Play my position huh? Nigga my heart is in this, and you have the nerve to say that bullshit to me?” she scoffed.

  “I’m not woman enough to have a baby, and it’s my choice to get an abortion, but every time yo’ fuck ass get me pregnant you act like a bitch and disappear. That is until I get rid of it, then you bring your ass right back!” Alicia paused and stared down at me.

  “You know what, your right Troy. I stayed with yo’ tired ass even after I found out, because you weren’t man enough to tell me from the jump that you were married. It wasn’t easy for me to leave you since I was already in love with you. You know how that is since you’re still with your wife.” She said with a sarcastic tone.

  “You funny, you know that right?” I laughed.

  “Now would be a perfect time for me to knock you in yo’ shit, but I’m going to just bounce and leave yo’ dumb ass to think about what you’ve said. Maybe when I’m gone for a few weeks you will get your shit together.” I said as I quickly jumped up off the couch, walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind me.

  Every time she gets an abortion she’s always going through the motions with this shit. I have to end up leaving, and soon after she’ll call begging me to come back. It’s always her saying that she was sorry, or that she overreacted. Like I said before Alicia ain’t going no fucking where, because I got her ass tamed.

  Chapter Eight

  Alicia

  I still can’t believe the shit that came out of Troy’s mouth when he came over last week. That nigga had the nerve to say that I wasn’t woman enough to have a baby, and I lost it. After he left I sat there and digested everything he said, and came to one conclusion; it was my fault. It was my fault for continuing to have unprotected sex with him, knowing what it would lead to. It was my fault for staying with him after I found out that he was married. It was my fault for allowing him to put his hands on me, even after the first time. Yes, it was all on me.

  He was only doing what I allowed him to do. Something had clicked inside of me. It was my fault, and it was my mess to clean up. I could no longer blame him for things that I had control over. Lawd it’s hard to pull away from someone that you love so much. Troy is like an addiction that I can’t break. I eat, breathe, and sleep him. I just wish that all the hurt that he’s caused could overpower my heart.

  “So what do you want to do tonight, because I refuse to let you stay cooped up in this damn apartment again.” Keisha asked as she lie across the bottom half of my bed.

  Her and Candy came over to check up on me, and keep me company.

  “I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to lie in the bed and watch TV.” I responded as I was flipping through the channels.

  It was spring break and I was also on vacation from work, so I don’t want to do anything but relax. I haven’t heard anything from Troy in a week, and had zero plans on calling his ass.

  “Look, I know you’re all broken hearted and shit, but you need to come up out of it. Besides, the best way to get over one dude is to get under another one.” Candy laughed slapping hands with Keisha, who agreed with her.

  “Girl please, the last thing on my damn mind is another man. I’m already dealing with one fool and I don’t have room for another.” I told them honestly.

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong boo. You chose to deal with another woman’s fool, when he should have just been your play toy. I told you how to the play the game with his ass once you found out that he was married, but no, you had to lean on that love shit.” As usual Keisha was giving me the ‘I told you so’ speech.

  “For real bitch, I’m personally tired of you putting yourself on hold for a married muthafucka. You need to just face reality. He’s married with kids and never going to leave her. You need to just move the fuck on to a nigga that’s worthy of your time.” Candy gave it to me blood raw as she always does.

  Although I wanted to curse her ass out for coming at me like that, I couldn’t because I knew she was telling the truth.

  “You know what, fuck it, let’s go to Fat Tuesday’s y’all.
Let’s get a drink and get our dance on.” Keisha suggested, before jumping up and rolling her hips.

  Fat Tuesday is a spot we used to go to around the way. It’s an open atmosphere spot that serves alcohol, and plays all of the latest hits.

  “Fuck it, let’s go.” I finally give in.

  Something just came over me and I wanted to get out of the house. I had a lot on my mind and figured being out and about would clear it, because being cooped up in this apartment was beginning to drive me fucking crazy!

  “Now that’s what I’m talking about, let’s go chicks!” Candy hopped up and snatched the cover off of my legs. Using that as my queue, I got up and went to take a shower.

  I’m glad that I agreed to come to Fat Tuesday’s. The vibe is good, and the drinks are on point.

  “It’s some fine ass niggas out here tonight. Shit, I’m looking for a potential booty call.” Candy shouted over the music before walking away. I swear her ass was always on the prowl for a new sponsor.

  “Yes it is, but I’m just going to get a few drinks in me, and take my ass home to Skype my boo. If I’m liquored up, I’m bound to do some freaky shit on the webcam.” Keisha chimed in laughing.

  Ironically she had been dating one of Troy’s longtime friend named Keith. He was her first serious relationship since her break up with her daughter’s father David, who had put her through hell and back. Between his lies and constantly cheating, she was worn out. I watched my cousin go through the works with David’s ass, while still trying to make it work. I guess Keisha was holding on for the sake of her daughter, but David didn’t want to do right.

  I remember listening to Troy talk about how good of a dude his friend that was away in the Air Force, so I had to see it for myself. Keith had just come home to visit after being deployed when I first met him. He seemed cool enough for me, so I introduced him to Keisha and they hit it off. Although I knew that Troy was full of shit, I hoped that Keith actually had his shit together like it appeared. Turns out that he did, and they’ve been together ever since. They’ve been making the long distance thing work, because Keith is still away in the Air Force. I can tell that the love that he has for my cousin and her daughter is genuine. Yeah, I may be miserable as hell, but to see my cousin happy makes me glad that I was a part of making it happen.

  “How is Keith doing anyway?” I ask as I nursed my drink since I wasn’t much of a drinker.

  “He’s good, just got stationed in California. He wants me and Jasmine to move out there with him.” She told me nonchalantly, but by the look in her eyes I could tell she was excited.

  “What?! Oh my God, that’s great Keisha! Are you going to go?” I asked excited as hell. You would think that it was my good news.

  “I don’t know yet?” She answered.

  “What do you mean you don’t know? You should go. I think it’ll be a great opportunity for both you and Jass.”

  “I know…it’s just that California is a long way. What if things don’t work out? I would have to bring my ass all the way back home and start over. If it were just me, I would go in a heartbeat, but I have a daughter to worry about. I just don’t want to chance that with Jass.” Keisha explained.

  “I get what you’re saying.” I spoke looking her in her eyes.

  “Just answer me this. Has Keith ever given you a reason to doubt him since the two of you have been together?” I asked.

  “No.”

  “Hasn’t he shown you just how much he loves you and Jass?”

  “Yeah, but I—“

  “But my ass! Go for it girl. Keith is a great dude, and he loves you so much. I can tell by the way he acts when you two are together. Plus he loves Jass as if she is his own. Go for it Keisha, you don’t want to miss out just because you’re scared of a what if.” I explained hoping she would listen to me. My cousin deserved to be happy just as much as I do.

  “I know…I know, and you’re absolutely right. It’s just that this is all new to me. I’ve dealt with nothing but bullshit from David all those years. So much so that I forgot what it feels like to have a real man. You’re right though. Since we’ve been together he has shown me and my daughter nothing but love and respect.” I could tell that Keisha was starting to get emotional, by the tears forming in her eyes. It was okay though, because I knew that unlike in the past, those were happy tears.

  “That’s right, and the only thing he’s asking in return is for you to trust him, and take that leap of faith. I can’t say it enough, I really think you should.” I assured her.

  “After hearing all that, I can’t do anything but agree with you cuz.” Keisha replied as she reached out to hug me.

  “Good, now if only I could take my own damn advice.” I said laughing, but deep down I was serious as hell.

  “You’ll get there I promise, it just takes time. You’re not the first to go through this and you definitely won’t be the last. You just have to find your strength and when you do, that nigga will be a thing of the past.” Keisha said snapping her fingers.

  “I hear ya’, but when the hell will all this take place? I mean the hurt is unbearable sometimes! I find myself crying almost daily because I’m thinking about all the dumb shit I’ve put up with.” I told her truthfully.

  “I feel like I’m stuck and can’t find my way out.” The tears started to fall, and there is nothing I could do to stop them.

  “Aww babe, I know exactly what that feeling is, trust me. I know it must seem as if you’ll never get past this, but you will. Just continue to pray for strength and have faith. God will do the rest.” Keisha assured me.

  I knew she was right, but when you are as lost as I am, the bright light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away.

  “Listen I gotta pee, and I see Candy’s ass done found her a new prospect.”

  I pointed across the crowd at Candy who was all up in some dudes face. She had him pushed up in the corner, and from where I stood I could tell he was enjoying it.

  “Chile, you know how her ass is.” Keisha said shaking her head.

  “Do you want me to order you another drink?” She asked.

  “No, I’m good.” I answered as I slid down from the barstool and headed to the bathroom.

  The vibration of my phone alerted me of a text message, but before I could get a chance to look at it, I bumping into a muscular chest. I looked up and my eyes met a familiar face, it was my high school classmate, Shawn.

  Chapter Nine

  Cassandra

  I know something is up with Troy’s ass, because he’s been home for the past two weeks. He comes in straight from work, and is even spending more time with the kids. We’ve even been having more family outings like going to the movies, taking the kids to the park, and even winding down together at night with cuddling or watching movies at home. All of this would be more enjoyable if I didn’t know that there was a motive behind it. After I tore into his ass about one of his ghetto ass baby momma’s showing up at my damn door looking for him, I expected him to be gone for a while like he usually does, but strangely that didn’t happen.

  In fact, he’s done the complete opposite. I’d like to think that he has finally come to his senses and decided to be a faithful husband, but I know that shit ain’t happening. Truthfully, I don’t think it ever will. I’m a firm believer that if something is working, there’s no need to fix it. So the fact that Troy is home being this attentive for whatever the reason, is good enough for me. Of course I know that it’s just the calm before the fucked up storm, and the curiosity is eating me up! I can’t take it, and have to say something.

  “Troy are you okay?” I asked as we were lying in bed watching Dead Presidents, one of his favorite movies.

  “Yeah, I’m good, why you ask?”

  “I’m just wondering because you’ve been home more lately…a lot more than usual. Now, it’s not like I don’t like it, because I really do. I just want to make sure that everything is alright with you, that all.” I said trying not to sound ungrateful
of him being here.

  “Oh yeah, I’m good. I know I don’t always be here when I need to be with you and the kids, but I’m trying hard to change that. I want to be a good husband to you because you deserve it. Especially with all the shit you put up with on my end.” He said sounding sincere.

  Hearing those words from Troy’s mouth caught me completely off guard. Was this my husband lying next to me? Even though what he was saying sounded good, I knew something was behind it. I’ve been with this selfish muthafucka long enough to know when he’s being honest, or when he’s sincere. Believe me when I say, I can count on both hands how many times he actually was either, and this is not one of them. I tell you what, I refuse to sit around and wait for his ass to jump ship again, so I’m going to do something I haven’t had the nerve to do in a long time. I’m going to investigate and see exactly what is going on. I would like to think that one of his bitches broke his heart and decided to leave his ass alone. The problem with that is he would have to have a heart in order for that to happen. I’ve come to the conclusion that the only person Troy really cares about is himself.

  “Well I’m just making sure baby. Is there anything you want me to make for dinner?” I asked quickly change the subject.

  I know that if I continue to ask questions it wouldn’t do anything but cause an argument, and that’s definitely something I don’t want.

  “Yeah, cook me a steak, mash potatoes, corn on the cobb and your famous peach cobbler.” Troy answered giving me a slight smile.

  “Damn baby you haven’t made a request like that in a minute!” I said.

  I had gotten so used to just cooking for the kids and I, because Troy would always claim that he’d eaten while driving all day. So by the time he made it home he was full. Of course I never believed that. I knew my husband and knew that he’d more than likely was eating someone else’s cooking.

  “I know.” was all he said.

  Just then his phone began to ring. Troy looked down at it, smirked and sent the caller straight to voicemail. Seeing that little shit right there let me know that this tiger will never change his stripes.