Taking Chances

by Flowers, Loni

  Clair walked into the living room to see Roz seated on the edge of the couch, staring at her. Alex brought her to a stop in the middle of the room, and everyone went silent. She looked at the man standing in front of her, broad-bodied with a muscular build. He was a far cry from the thin, lanky man she remembered. But looking at his face, the roundness of his chin, the deep dimples in his cheeks, and the point of his nose, Clair knew he was her father. His hair was a thick, wavy brown, with eyes and hair color to match. He still had that endearing softness she recalled as a child. Being away from him for so long didn’t keep her from wanting to run to him. His eyes pooled with tears and she could tell he held back a sob when the tears slid down his cheeks. It was the first time in her life she’d ever seen him cry.

  “Marie?” His voice quivered, his eyes wide with shock as if not believing who he was looking at.

  When she heard him say her name, the one he’d always called her, Clair dropped Alex’s hand and went to him. “Daddy?” she said as he pulled her into his embrace, his arms wrapping tightly around her. They both cried hard against each other. His cheek rested on the top of her head as he brushed his hand down over her hair.

  Getting the words out between cries, he said, “I can’t believe… After all this time… you’re here.” He held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Is it really you, Marie?”

  Clair nodded, unable to speak and hugged him again. After a few minutes of silence, their cries calmed and Stu stepped back. He stared at her, his eyes examining her face and she saw another tear slide down his cheek.

  “Look at you. You’re all grown up now. You look just like your mother.”

  “I’m not sure I want to be a reminder of her right now, after what she did to me… what she did to you. I don’t want to be anything like her. I will never forgive her for doing this to us. I just can’t believe out of all the towns I’ve been to, the one I decide to finally settle in, and you’re here.” She paused to gather her thoughts, knowing she had to ask, needing to have an answer. “I’ve thought about you every single day since you left. Everyday. Why? Why did you just pick up and leave? I know Mom lied to me about most of it, but I remember that day.” Clair backed up another step and ran her fingers through her hair as fresh tears slid down her face. “I walked home from school when Mom never picked me up. When I finally made it home, she had locked herself in the bedroom. She wouldn’t let me in when I tried to see her. All she did was yell at me through the door that my father had left and was never coming back.” Clair looked at him with sad eyes when she said, “And you didn’t. I had to fix my own meals for almost two weeks because Mom wouldn’t leave the bedroom. She was never the same after you left. I’ve hated you since that day. Hated you for what you did to us.” Clair felt someone take a hold of her hand and she looked to see Alex standing beside her, silently questioning if she were all right. His eyes were watery as if he’d been crying too. She squeezed his hand, feeling emboldened by having him beside her now.

  Stu wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I’m sorry. I have no excuse for what I did to your mother and you, at least not a good one. We were young when we got pregnant with you, which incidentally, became my reason for cheating on your mother. With a baby came responsibility that I wasn’t ready for. I was being forced to put everything I wanted, all the fun that a young adult should have at that age, aside, and I resented it. It kept eating away at me. In the beginning, I was happy. I thought settling down was what I wanted. But after a while, when new opportunities came along or an invitation to a party kept me home, I felt cheated. My priorities were mixed up and I threw everything that really mattered in my life down the drain. By the time I realized what I’d sacrificed, it was too late. I’m so sorry, Marie. I was young and stupid, and I have regretted the choices I made every day since. I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I just hope that, over time, you will believe that I’m sorry for what I did.”

  Clair thought about what Stu said. There was no doubt that up until today, she hated her father… or that’s what she thought. But before she spoke to her mother, she wanted to reach out to him and track him down. There were two ways she could deal with her father; that much she knew. She could hang on to the grudge she thought she rightfully owned, or she could let it go and start over.

  Releasing Alex’s hand, she walked up to Stu and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you for being honest.” He sniffled and Clair straightened up to look him in the eyes. Tears streamed down his face again, causing fresh tears to prick in her own eyes. “You hurt me. I will never forget what that pain felt like when you walked out of my life. But I believe you are truly sorry and made a mistake. God knows I’ve made plenty myself. I may not ever fully understand your reasoning, but it happened a long time ago. And I don’t want to hold onto a grudge over something I can’t fully understand. What’s most important to me is knowing that you tried. For years, you stayed connected. Even if it was a one-sided conversation, you still tried. And because of that, I can and do forgive you.”

  His eyes closed, flushing more tears down his cheeks. His shoulders relaxed, as if he were relieved by what he was hearing. Another arm wrapped around her back and when she looked up, Roz was crying next to her. “I’m sorry too, Clair. I didn’t know… I had no idea.”

  Stu put his arm around her, “It’s not your fault, dear, you couldn’t have known.”

  “But I’ve seen lots of pictures of her as a child; I should have figured it out,” she cried.

  “No, she was only a baby, a toddler in most of those pictures. She’s grown up so much since then. You might have only figured it out if you knew what her mother looked like.”

  Roz pushed Clair’s hair from her face, tucking stray strands behind her ear. She laughed and said, “Let’s be thankful you got your mother’s looks and not that pointy nose like your father.”

  Clair laughed, “I know. Alex wouldn’t have looked twice at me with a nose like that.” Everyone turned to look at Alex, but he was leaning up against the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. His eyes were teary as he stood with his hands in his pockets, as if he didn’t belong in the personal moment happening before him. But he did belong. This reunion wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for him.

  “Can you give us a minute?” Clair said to Roz and Stu. “I’ll be right back.” They nodded, and Clair grabbed Alex by the arm, dragging him with her down the hall, to her bedroom, and shutting the door behind him. “Alex—,” but she couldn’t finish her sentence before he cut her off.

  “It’s okay,” he smiled, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “I know you need to catch up with your dad. I’ll go home and call—”

  “What? Go home?” she questioned. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. “Thank you. What you did has changed my life forever now. I can never thank you enough.”

  He pulled out of her embrace and brushed her cheek with his fingers, “You don’t have to thank me. I love you. It was the right decision.”

  “I will never get tired of hearing you tell me that.”

  “I’ll never get tired of telling you.”

  She ran her fingers through his hair and grabbed the back of his head, pulling his mouth down to hers. He cupped her face between his hands, kissing her deeply, exploring her mouth. Clair’s hands slid down his neck to his chest and gripped the collar of his shirt, his clothes the only barrier keeping them apart. She melted against him, his tongue making her grow hungry for more. It had been a week since they had held each other. But Roz and Stu were in the other room and she wasn’t going to be disrespectful. Clair broke the connection, removing her lips from his, remaining only a breath away, “Stay with me tonight,” she whispered.

  “Yes, for as long as you want,” he said, kissing her again. “We should go back in there before they get suspicious. Now that Stu knows I’m actually dating his daughter, he may not be so lenient on me.”

  “You’re right, but don’t fo
rget, he may be my father but he stopped making the rules a long time ago… I think you’ll be okay.” Clair grinned, “Let’s go get reacquainted.”

  When they went back into the living room, Stu was sitting on the couch, his hands in his lap, as if he were waiting for his name to be called at the doctor’s office.

  “Where’s Roz? Is everything okay?” Clair asked.

  “Oh, she’s fine. She ordered some things for the party tomorrow and they called to tell her they were in. She went to pick them up. I let her take my car and she’ll be back in about an hour to pick me up. Is that okay? I can leave if you want. I’m sure Alex will take me home,” Stu said nervously.

  “No, not at all, please stay.”

  Alex and Clair walked to the couch and sat next to each other, with Clair sitting beside her father. Alex looked over at him and said, “Hey, since Roz isn’t here, why don’t you show Clair the picture you showed me last night?”

  “What picture?” Clair asked.

  Stu sighed and reached into his back pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a picture from one of the inside pockets. “It’s the last picture I have of you. You were thirteen.”

  Clair pulled her feet up under her, making herself comfortable for what she predicted to be a couple hours of questions and answers. She leaned back against Alex and he wrapped his arm around her waist. Her stomach twisted with nerves, but with Alex beside her, the conversation seemed bearable.

  Stu handed her the photo, and Clair smiled. “You know… this was the best family vacation we took. I remember we had so much fun on that trip to the beach.” Remembering what Alex said earlier, she asked, “Why can’t Roz see this? I thought she said she’s seen pictures of me when I was younger; what’s the big deal?”

  “Well, it really isn’t a big deal, but when I started dating Roz, I knew how much she wanted a family. Since she couldn’t have kids, I just didn’t want to show her this happy family picture. She knew about you and Michelle, but I didn’t see the need to rub it in her face. And it’s the only picture I have of your mom; she didn’t even know I took any of them.”

  Clair grimaced, “It’s a good thing you took what you did, because she burned the ones that had you in them.”

  Stu chuckled, “I don’t doubt it.”

  After some time, Clair noticed how late it had become and couldn’t believe they had been chatting for a couple hours. It was nearly dinnertime and she was starving. “What should we eat for dinner? I’m starved.”

  “Me too, I never did eat lunch. We can all go out when Roz gets back if you want,” Alex said, looking at Stu and Clair.

  “Actually, Roz and I have a bunch of stuff to do at the house to get ready for tomorrow, so I think we’ll pass.”

  “How about you ride with me since Roz isn’t back yet?” Alex suggested. “Maybe by the time we get back, she’ll be here.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Clair said. “It’ll give me a chance to get cleaned up while you’re gone.”

  “Come on, big guy,” Alex said as he stood up and headed for the door.

  Stu sighed and followed. He looked exhausted, the events of the day possibly affecting him more than he cared to admit, Clair thought. Once they left, Clair went to her room and grabbed a fresh change of clothes before taking a quick shower. She tried to hurry before the guys or Roz got back. Afterwards, she sat on the couch, towel drying her hair, when Roz tapped on the door and walked in.

  “Hey, what took you so long? I was starting to wonder if you got lost or something.”

  “Sorry. It wasn’t supposed to take that long, but they ordered the wrong item and I refused to leave until I got what I ordered. If I could just do everything myself, I wouldn’t have to worry about others screwing things up. Anyway…” she looked around the room, “Where are the boys?”

  “Alex went to get me something to eat since I haven’t eaten all day.”

  “How is Stu…I mean your dad, doing?” Roz shook her head, “Wow, it’s going to take me awhile to get used to that. I always hoped he’d reconnect with his daughter, but who would have thought I’d be talking to her all this time.”

  “I know, it’s crazy! Who would have thought it would have been this easy to find each other? He’s doing great though; I would have never guessed it would have been this easy to talk to him after so many years. Having Alex with me has really helped with my nerves.”

  Roz took a seat next to her on the couch, “Did you really have no idea your dad tried to stay in contact with you after he left?”

  She didn’t ask accusingly, but more out of curiosity. “No, I had no idea. Stu… Dad…” Clair didn’t even know what she wanted to call him yet, “told me once he left, he tried to call my mom, but she wouldn’t let him talk to me. So then he started sending me letters, hoping I would read them and it would convince me to talk to him. But then he said they were returned unopened. He kept writing, but only occasionally, before he stopped all together when I turned eighteen.” Talking about it made Clair feel disgusted all over again at what her mother had done. “When I talked to my mother this morning, she told me that she returned all my letters and kept all the money and gifts. All this time, she lied to me when I thought it was my father who didn’t care. I didn’t want to believe her, but my mom sounded different this time. She actually sounded sorry about what she had done.”

  “Well, that’s good, right?” Roz asked.

  Clair crossed her arms over her chest, “I don’t care how good it is. She can say she’s sorry a million times and it will never be enough. I will never forgive her for what she did to me or my father.”

  “Maybe someday you’ll be able to. You only get one mother.”

  “Yeah, and you only get one daughter. I don’t see it happening.”

  “Oh, okay, you’ve got a point… it’s true about the letters. I’ve seen them. I mean, I haven’t read them but he has a whole stack. He told me once that he hoped to be able to give them to you one day.”

  “Wow, really? I can’t believe he saved them; I’m looking forward to reading them all. You know, he remembered so much about my childhood. Like, all my pets’ names… I used to have a lot. The funerals we had for the fish, the tea parties, and the father-daughter dance.” Clair covered her face and burst into tears, “All this time, even though he thought I hated him, he never stopped thinking about me, and all I ever did was try to forget he existed. I went from hating him, to having my whole world change in a just a few hours. I can’t even imagine what my life will be like now. I mean, I know I have you and Alex—he’s changed my life so much already—but now with my father here, it’s like I’m starting to feel complete again.” Clair wiped her eyes and looked at Roz, “I’m the happiest I’ve been in nine years and you have no idea how thankful I am to have you all in my life.”

  Roz pulled her into her arms, “I’ll always be here, hon, whenever you need me. Of course, your father could make that more permanent if he’d hurry up and ask me to marry him. He’s such a wimp; I may have to ask him myself. But no matter what happens between Stu and me, I’ll still look at you as if you’re my daughter. I love you and you’ll always be a part of my family.”

  Clair smiled and held onto her, staying in the comfort of her embrace, feeling safe and loved. She couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see Roz’s reaction to her father’s proposal. She was going to be thrilled, and Clair had no problem being her stepdaughter since she had already considered her a mother figure in her life.

  The door opened and Alex came through it, holding a bag. Clair could smell the food and it made her stomach ache, “Oh, thank God… I’m starved!”

  “Did you get everything taken care of, Roz?” Stu said.

  “Yep… long story, I’ll tell you about it later. Are we ready to head home? We have a lot of stuff to do before the party tomorrow.”

  “I know. Let’s go so these kids can eat.” Stu looked at Clair, “If you want, come over early tomorrow and we’ll talk some more?”

  Clair n
odded, “I’d like that. We’ll come over a couple hours before.”

  “Sounds good, we’ll see you both tomorrow.” Stu said as he walked back toward the door.

  Alex closed the door behind them before setting the food on the counter top in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Clair’s waist. “You know, I’m so proud of you and how well you handled all of this. Seeing you this happy, makes me happy,” he said, kissing her forehead.

  “But this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you. It’s because of you that I’m this happy. Now let’s be happy together and eat!”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Alex

  “Okay, I’m coming,” Alex heard Clair say from the bedroom.

  “Does this look appropriate enough? I don’t want to look too casual,” she asked, entering the living room.

  Alex thought she could wear a brown sack around her body and still look sexy as ever. Her khaki skirt cut above her knees and a short-sleeved, buttoned-up shirt fitted over a low cut tank top. Seeing her smooth legs and the curve of her collarbone made Alex remember how amazing last night had been. Every night he had spent with her had been wonderful, but what they shared last night was so much more amazing. There was a whole new level of passion and intimacy than they had previously experienced. The connection they held with each other was unbreakable, and Alex couldn’t imagine anything in his life being any better than what he had now with Clair.

  “Umm… hello? Are you hearing me?” Clair said impatiently.

  Alex walked over to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “Perfect, you look perfect.” He slid his fingers down the back of her arm and grabbed her hand. “You know, I know you’re looking forward to seeing Stu again, but I’d like nothing more than to have a repeat of last night.”