Innuendos (It Had 2 B U Book 1)

by V. Kelly

  “When he says right woman, he means his girlfriend,” Tony states.

  “Are they dating now?” Dashawn asks.

  “Nope, she’s still dragging him around by his dick, like the little cock tease that she is.”

  “Shut up, Tony. Don’t talk about Breezy that way!” I shout at him. I grab another beer and down it.

  “So you have a girlfriend?” Yazzy asks disappointed.

  “Nope, she’s my fucking roommate.”

  “And best friend, and the love of his life that won’t give him the time of day. That girl has no idea how in love with her this guy is. He worships her like a fucking Grecian Goddess, and rightly so. That woman is sex in high heels. God, I’d give my left nut to fuck her just once,” Tony exclaims adjusting his pants.

  “Stop talking about fucking Breezy, Tony, or I’m going to pummel your face.”

  He laughs. “Max, you know as well as I do that Breezy would never touch me. Besides, she’s getting serious with that accountant asshole. It won’t be long before she’s moving out of your house and into his apartment.”

  “Don’t say shit like that,” I whine.

  “He’s got a point, dude. If she’s in Aspen right now, it doesn’t look good. I’d be surprised if they aren’t already saying the “L” word.”

  I cover my ears and glare at both of them as they laugh their asses off. “I need another drink. Make that three.” The bartender hears my request and puts three shots onto the bar. I down each of them quickly, obviously impressing Yazzy—the girl who doesn’t get the hint that I’m not interested in her. She attaches to my side again. I’m so drunk right now my head is swimming in alcohol, and through my beer goggles, I start to see things I shouldn’t be.

  “Hey, Max, come with me,” Yazzy or her twin tells me.

  “Go get her, Max!” shouts Tony from over my shoulder. I flip him off, or at least I think I do. I’m so drunk I may have just flashed him my ring finger instead of my middle.

  We’re almost to the door when I realize there’s absolutely no way I’d ever fuck this chick, let alone let her close to my dick. I pull away from her and glare.

  “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

  “You’ve been hanging on me all night, and now you’re not interested?”

  “Actually, I’ve dropped at least ten hints that I’m not even remotely attracted to you, and yet you’re still here. I’m not normally this much of an asshole, but I’m not going to sleep with you, ever.”

  “What? Why the fuck not?”

  “Cause you look like a cross between Pinhead from Hellraiser and Bozo the Clown. You’re a mess and need a makeover.” Wow, my drinking has turned me into a drunken asshole. I really need to stop letting Breezy getting serious with her boyfriend affect me.

  She smacks me right across the face. “Fuck you, asshole. I bet you have a small dick anyway.” She flips me off and disappears into the crowd. I turn around and find Tony and Dashawn laughing their asses off. They’re still laughing when I return to the bar.

  “What’s up, Sugar Pie? Couldn’t seal the deal?” Tony is enjoying this way too much, and I glare at him.

  “You’re a fucking asshole,” I tell him.

  “Look, we all know that for a brief second your judgment was clouded by a brunette with freckles. It’s okay. We get it. But next time you decide to get drunk off your ass, make sure you’re wearing the correct beer goggles, not the ones that make you see nothing but Breezy.

  I open my mouth to protest what Tony is saying, but I can’t. The facts are all there. I’m in love with my best friend. I need to deal with this shit now, before it gets out of hand.

  “I think I’m going to tell her guys, before this shit with Numbers Man gets too serious. I don’t know if I can keep doing this—pretending I’m not attracted to her, when she’s the only woman I want to be with.”

  “It’s about damn time, McGowan. You should tell her when she gets home,” Dashawn suggests. “Before Numbers Man proposes or some shit.”

  Hearing that word makes me sick. Thinking about telling her how I feel makes me feel even worse. “No, I can’t do it that soon,” I reply weakly. “I need to work my way up to it.” I choke down another beer; it’s going to be my last one of the night. I’m starting to feel a little hazy. I sway, almost crashing into the bar. Dashawn let’s go of his two blondes and grabs my arm, but he wasn’t fast enough. My hip hits a nearby table, accidently knocking over some empty glasses onto the floor, and they break into a thousand tiny pieces.

  “Okay, Max, I think we need to get you home. Sorry ladies, but we’re leaving. We need to get Max home before he gets himself arrested.”

  “Do we have to?” Tony whines, his lips leaving the brunette’s neck he’s currently sucking on. What happened to him being so into Emma?

  “It’s supposed to be a guy’s night. The only people you’re going home with are Max and me. Now let go of the brunette and help me carry this drunken bastard home.”

  “Fine,” Tony sighs. “I have a hot piece of ass I can call when I get home.” The brunette makes a sound of disgust and covers the big, fat mark of slut-shaming that Tony left on her neck. I guess she thought she was special. It’s funny how girls somehow always get that idea.

  “I love you guys. I should tell you that more often, but I love you both.” God, I’m so drunk. Now I’m professing my love to my friends. Not that I actually love them. It’s more like an appreciation that both of them are there for me when I have Breezy troubles.

  I know I have to tell her, but I’ll do that when I’m not hung-over.

  Okay, I’m officially drunk off my ass now. It’s time to get home, crawl into bed, hurl all this alcohol into a bucket, and wake up in two days. Maybe after that, I can somehow conjure up enough nerve to approach Breezy with my heart.

  Maybe.

  Chapter Seven

  Breezy

  A whole month has passed since my epic I love you weekend with Travis in Aspen. I’ve spent so much time with him lately. I think I’m going through Max withdrawals. I barely see him anymore, and it makes me really sad. I think Max is feeling it too, because every time I go out with Travis, he gives me those puppy dog eyes of his and I rethink leaving.

  Today, I’m in the middle of a heavy work load. There’s this heinous bitch in my office named Georgette; she’s French. She’s also the major slut of our office. I’ve heard she’s slept with five fellow co-workers, a mailroom attendant, a guy from Travis’s office, and the coffee guy down in the hotel lobby. Anyway, Heinous Bitch has me going through a few briefs while she flirts with one of our bosses in the copy room. I swear that copier has to be traumatized from all the action it’s getting. I can’t even look at the copier anymore without feeling sorry for it. Imagine how many times that machine has been assaulted by her ass. If I were that copier, I’d be suing her for sexual harassment.

  Claire, the office secretary, comes walking into the conference room looking for me. She has a gigantic smile on her face. In fact, she’s blushing.

  “Hey, some really hot guy is here to see you. Holy crap, he’s sexy.”

  A smile widens on my face. Maybe Travis decided to surprise me and take me to lunch today. I am rather hungry. I pick up my briefs, quickly file them back in their respective places, and venture out into the lobby where I’m pleasantly surprised to find Max.

  “Max! What are you doing here?” I grab him, and give a quick hug.

  Claire is staring at him like he’s made of chocolate. She licks her lips. Max is wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans. He must’ve left work and come straight over.

  “I haven’t seen my Breezy in a while, so I thought maybe we could get some lunch. Are you free?”

  “Yup, just let me get my purse.”

  Claire watches us attentively. “Aren’t you dating that hot accountant?” she questions.

  “I am. Max is my roommate.” I pat him on the shoulder.

  “And her best friend,” he chimes in.

&n
bsp; Claire’s face immediately brightens. She scribbles something on a bright orange post-it note. “Here’s my number. Maybe we can hang out sometime?” She bats her eyelashes like she has something caught in them.

  Max just grins. “I don’t date anyone who works with Breezy, sorry kid.”

  Claire immediately frowns. She’s younger than us, but not by much. The fact Max called her a kid has to be killing her. I think she’s in her early twenties, definitely not old enough for my Max.

  “I am not a child,” she’s practically whining, which makes me giggle.

  “Ready to go, Breezy?” Max asks, leading me away from the room.

  Heinous Bitch picks that exact moment to come strutting out of the copy room with Henry, one of the partners. His tie is askew. He has lipstick on the collar of his shirt, and her dress is exposing her garters underneath. Both of them shoot me a nervous look before Henry makes a beeline for his office. I wonder how his wife Jessica would feel about him messing with the office manager in the copy room. I’ll have to add that to my black mail file for later.

  “Where do you think you’re going? Did you finish my briefs?” Georgette snaps at me, the minute Henry is out of range. Georgette is one of those women who used her legs to climb the ladder of power. I’m pretty sure she’s spent more time on her knees than actually working around the office. Kudos to her for that tactic getting her somewhere, but I do wish she wasn’t such a raging bitch all the time.

  “I’m almost done with them. I have two more left. I’m going to lunch with my roommate. I’ll be back in an hour. I am entitled to an hour break. Aren’t I?”

  “Of course,” she remarks. She eyes Max curiously, and a sinister smile spreads across her face.”

  “What happened to that hot accountant I always see you with? Did he finally see that you weren’t good enough for him?”

  Max immediately puffs up his chest, ready to defend me. I place a hand on his shoulder to calm him down and smile back at Georgette. I’m used to her bitchisms. I’ve actually made a spread sheet that corresponds with her current menstrual cycle. I found out that she’s pretty much in PMS mode for three weeks, and the one week she’s not, she’s only tolerable at best.

  “I’m still dating him, Georgette. I will let Travis know you sing his praises. See you in an hour.” Quickly I scamper out of the office, dragging Max behind me.

  “When you said she was a heinous bitch, I didn’t realize you meant soul-sucking harpy who needs to get laid.”

  “She does get laid . . . way too often. Our poor copier has seen horrible things over the past year and a half.”

  He snickers.

  When we get out into the lobby, I see Travis over by the front door talking to one of his colleagues. Shit, he can’t see Max. That would be terrible. I grab Max by the neck and pull him over behind a potted plant.

  ”What the fuck? What are we spies?” Max asks crouching next to me.

  “It’s Travis. He’s by the door. I can’t walk out with you. He’ll notice and then he’ll ask questions.”

  “Really? Aren’t we a little old to be playing hide and seek? Come on, Breezy. Why won’t you tell him about me?”

  “Because,” I quickly snap. “I can’t, Max, not yet anyway. I promise I will soon. I watch as Travis shakes the man’s hand and turns in our direction. Directly behind me the elevator dings, and I realize it’s our only escape. It will take us directly to the parking garage beneath the building and away from the eateries, but also away from Travis.

  I shove Max into the elevator. A woman coming out says, “excuse me,” rudely and loudly as I hit the button like five times, hoping to hell, that I can get the doors closed before Travis sees me. Thankfully they close just as Travis comes around the corner. He never notices me.

  “Geez, Breezy, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were ashamed to be seen with me.” Max looks a little wounded, but honestly I don’t care.

  “You know that’s not the case.”

  “You just don’t want me to meet Mr. Wonderful.”

  “Not yet. I’m not ready for Wreck-it Max to come in and demolish yet another relationship for me.”

  “Aww, Breezy, you know I’m more of a Fix-it Max. I repair that broken heart of yours, every single time it breaks. It’s my thing.” He bumps my nose and links his arm within mine.

  Ramming my shoulder into his, I smile and say, “Is it also your thing to wreck the stuff before you fix it? I’m pretty sure Miley Cyrus wrote a song about you.”

  “What do you feel like eating? It’s Thursday, so how do you feel about Chinese?” He ignores the opportunity to verbally spar with me and interjects with food options instead.

  “Chinese sounds wonderful. There’s a place around the corner. Well, once we get up these steps, that is.”

  We finish walking up the three flights of stairs that it takes to get back up to the street. By the time we get there, my calves are killing me. Max, of course, isn’t even affected by the exercise. It takes a total of five minutes to get to the Chinese food restaurant. Luckily, it’s a buffet, because my little detour through the building cut off my lunch time by ten minutes, leaving me and Max a very small amount of time to eat.

  “Alright, so tell me what’s up? You’ve never purposely knocked me into foliage to avoid a boyfriend before. What gives?”

  “I dunno. This one is different. I don’t know how to explain it. He’s just special.”

  “Is it serious? I’ve never seen you get this worked up about a guy before, Breezy. It’s kind of scaring me. Do I need to prepare myself to walk you down the aisle?”

  I look up at him in shock. I’ve never thought about marriage before. It’s never been on my radar—mainly because I don’t have a family, and the thought of celebrating something so monumental is depressing without them.

  My parents died five years ago. They were on their way to come visit me for winter break when they hit a patch of ice that slammed them right into the side of a semi-truck. My mother died instantly, but my father hung on for several weeks after the accident. Unfortunately, he passed away after three weeks because of complications with an emergency surgery that was done on his lung. I stayed by his side the entire time. I had that glimmer of hope that somehow my dad was going to make it. If it wasn’t for Max being there to help me through it, the fallout from losing my parents may have been catastrophic.

  I’m an only child, and without Max, it would be like my life doesn’t have a purpose. He’s the one person left on this planet that actually gives a shit about me. He’s the only reason I keep going. It was right after the accident that I made the conscious decision to move in with Max. We had talked about it before, but my parent’s death was the catalyst that drove me into taking that final plunge.

  Since my parents’ accident, I’ve kinda become a homebody. I don’t have any friends, and the friends I did have in high school are all married now with kids and don’t have time for me. I guess I do have one friend . . . because if Max’s little sister Everly lived closer, I’d be hanging out with her. I love that girl. Hell, I love his whole damn family. They’ve become my adopted family since I lost my parents. Every holiday I’m celebrating with the McGowan’s. They want me to become their daughter. Everyone thinks that Max and I will end up married. I laugh about it every time they bring it up, because, come on now, Max and me married? That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard!

  Max snaps his fingers in front of my face and frowns. “You went back to your parent’s accident, didn’t you?”

  I pick at my spring roll. “How could you tell?”

  “There is only one thing that makes you look that sad, that fast, Breezy, and that’s their passing. Are you okay? I know it’s getting close to when the accident happened, so I can see why you’d be thinking about it, but usually you don’t start getting sad until right around that time.”

  “You brought up marriage. Thinking about it depresses me. They’ll never see me get married, Max, and what about if
I have kids? They won’t get to hold their grandbabies. I’m so pathetic. The only person who cares about me is you.”

  “That doesn’t make you pathetic, Breezy. That makes you pretty damn special. Think about it. How many girls have a guy like me, sitting in their corner, cheering them on? You know I would do absolutely anything for you. That includes walking you down an aisle.”

  I blink at him, tears sticking to my eyelashes. How did I end up this lucky? I smile at him, still swiping my tears. Max’s hand clamps down on mine, and we link fingers. I love the way his touch always soothes me.

  “Thanks, Max. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “Be miserable. I’m pretty awesome.” He grins and completely fails to get his food in his mouth with chopsticks. I’m not sure why he insists on using them every time we eat Chinese. He has a forty percent success rate of getting food into his mouth.

  Once lunch is over, he walks me back to my office and hugs me goodbye. I made sure we stand on the side of the building where we can’t be seen. I’m still hiding him. I feel badly for it, but I really want things with Travis to work out. Keeping Max a secret is the best thing for my relationship right now.

  Once inside the building, a strong arm grabs me by my elbow and pulls me away from the doorway. It’s Travis. He seems a little angry.

  Did he see me on the elevator with Max? Crap, this isn’t good. Not now, not when I’m still vulnerable.

  “Hey, Travis,” I say carefully.

  “Where have you been?”

  “Lunch, with a friend,” I answer truthfully.

  “I went up to your office, and your stupid secretary told me you were out with another man—a hot one. She made sure to sneak that one in there. Are you cheating on me?” He’s running his hand through his hair, his eyes drilling through me.

  “Of course not!” I snap. “How could you even think that? You know how much I love you. A friend from high school stopped by and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with him. I accepted because you and I didn’t have any definitive plans for lunch. It was harmless. You have nothing to worry about.”