RETURN

by S. C. Deutsch

  Ana had half-hoped he had forgotten about that, but Snick was smart. And apparently very observant.

  “This is not my first trip to the island,” Ana reluctantly answered, heaving a deep sigh. “Once I realized I might be coming back, I set out to find a way to bring something I could clean up with. It took a long time and cost a lot of credits, but it has helped me whenever I get hurt.”

  Ana did not tell Snick it was her choice to come back, nor did she tell him how long her sentence was, staying silent even when Snick gave her a quizzical look.

  “What did you do?” He finally asked. “And how did you know you were coming back? I didn’t realize that people would be sent here more than once.”

  “I made a mistake,” she replied. “Once I realized what I had done, I was pretty sure my punishment would be another trip back. So, I started trying to figure out what I could bring that would help me survive another sentence here. The government does send children back more than once. You will get more information on how that works later. But I strongly recommend you do everything you can to make sure you never come back. This place is incredibly dangerous and next time, you won’t have me around to help.”

  Snick didn’t question Ana about her sentence further, but she could see that he didn’t buy the story completely. She felt no remorse for this bit of deviousness as he did not need to know everything, and it was best if he left as soon as possible and moved on with his life.

  “Ana, what is this place?” he asked after a moment.

  “Snick, I’m sorry, but it’s time to go,” Ana said, evading the question and pointedly looking at the sky. She was afraid answering him would lead to more probing, and dangerous, questions, and decided it was now time to end the conversation. “Please repeat what we decided on. I want to make sure you have it perfect.”

  Snick screwed up his eyes in concentration, then recited each of the phrases in order, smiling hugely when he was done. Ana made him repeat the phrases twice more, and when he recited them perfectly, she rose and pulled him to his feet. Giving him a brief hug, Ana once more told him to be very careful as there were eyes and ears everywhere.

  “Will you walk a little way with me?” Snick asked, reaching out and grabbing Ana’s hand.

  “Aw, Snick, I really wish I could,” she replied, gently disentangling her fingers from his. “But I absolutely cannot take the chance. Your little companion will lead you, but if its scampers ahead, just head straight to the beach, turn left, and keep walking. Keep an eye to the left as the path to the camp is a little hidden and I don’t want you to miss it. But I am pretty sure someone will meet you before you get there.”

  As Ana was relaying this information to Snick, she pointed him in the direction of the beach, waving her hand to the left so he knew which way to go.

  “Now listen carefully. When you leave this little meadow, do not touch anything. Not even a tree trunk. Watch where you put your feet and make sure the ground is solid before you step on it. Once you reach the beach, walk on the sand, out of the jungle, but stay close to the area where the two meet. Again, thank you for all your help. I’ll never forget you.”

  “And I will never forget you!” he said, reaching out and giving her another hug, causing her to wince slightly. Ana saw him blink several times, his eyes brimming with tears. Sparing him the possibility of embarrassment, she turned and whistled, getting both Jax and the other creature’s attention. Looking at Snick’s companion, she pointed in the direction of the camp and told it to lead him there by way of the beach. The creature hopped off the rock and trotted to Snick’s side, tugging on his pants. Snick waved as he made his way out of the glade and Ana waved back, noticing that this creature wasn’t bonding with Snick the way Jax had bonded with her. She glanced at Jax, wondering why her companion was so devoted, and promised to do everything possible to make sure her furry friend was not forced to stay behind.

  Returning to her former seat, Ana bent her knees and rested her forehead on them. She let her hair drop along both sides of her face, then used the palm of one hand to quickly wipe the dirt smooth. Taking the knife, Ana hastily wrote several sentences in the dirt, making them as concise and as small as possible. She hoped the government wasn’t able to see this far but if they did, she wanted to make the writing so small that they couldn’t see what it said. Ana also hoped that should the government see the markings they would assume she had taken up an old habit. With her departure only few days away, Ana was fairly sure that at this point, any questions about the markings would be made at the debriefing.

  Ana had told Snick he needed to make sure Jan understood that his visit to the glade had to appear casual with no specific destination in mind. He should amble in, wander a bit, then take a seat in the same spot where they had sat. Ana was going to leave something here that Jan would know was a sign, telling him exactly where he needed to go. Further, Snick was to let Jan know this had been carefully planned out, that she would be nearby, but in no way could he call or go looking for her. The reason would be in the center of the glade.

  Snick had come up with the idea of telling Jan that he had been assisted by an unknown girl who had her own creature, and that the girl had saved his life. He was going to tell Jan she had led him to the glade and let him stay there that night while she went somewhere else, coming back the next day to fight off the dragons. If Jan asked the girl’s name, Snick was free to give it, but he wasn’t going to tell Jan anything else. He further planned on telling Jan that Ana had given him directions to the camp but for some reason refused to return the backpack. Ana had interjected this idea, having no intention of telling Snick why she was keeping it but figuring Jan would know and immediately understand the significance of the statement.

  Ana thought this had a good chance of working. It was vague enough to not raise any red flags if the government was listening but gave Jan enough details to know she was the girl Snick was talking about. And that she was trying to get him to come to her.

  Ana started by writing the new directives, telling Jan that was why she couldn’t meet him. She wrote out several questions, the most important being when his departure date was. Ana was certain there would be no other opportunity to have a long conversation with Jan after this, making it impossible to get much of the information she sought. She was now formulating a way to be at the dock on Jan’s arrival date. Even if she couldn’t talk to him at length, Ana might discover where his new home was, hoping to try and reach him later. Ana knew Jan was here for about another month, so that would give her some time to find a way to the dock after arriving back on the mainland, even if she had to lie to get there. Since Ana had no idea where her new home would be located, asking him to find her was out of the question and this was the next best option.

  Ana had arrived with a myriad of questions and more had accumulated in the last few weeks. She had felt a deep need to discuss what she had found back home, the book especially, but had neither the time nor space to write everything down, so she picked what she believed was most important.

  The questions Ana left for Jan centered on his knowledge of her arrival as well what the packet contained. She did not disclose her experiences, just implied that what they both thought they knew about the island was incomplete and not entirely true. Ana told Jan there were things back on the mainland that they needed to discuss, and she needed his help to make good on her promise. She kept that part singular, not wanting him to ask about the other two vows she had made since. Ana desperately wanted to write more, things like how he made her feel and how much she had missed him but with a limited amount of space, she decided to let it be.

  Over the last few weeks, Ana had come to the realization that she had been very naïve. She had taken what Jan had said at face value but should have known better, especially once she recognized the government’s masterful manipulation. When Ana had arrived in her new home, she had gone over their conversation with a fine-tooth comb. And she had done it over and over, often lying awake at
night while worrying the knotted threads loose or hammering away at the inconsistencies during her midnight walks around the darkened and silent house. Ana had found many things that didn’t seem to add up and more that seemed incomplete or in conflict with each other. When she found the book, read it, then received the other item now concealed in her mattress, the questions had multiplied, and Ana’s beliefs about everything had started to fall apart. She needed to bring Jan in on this, especially as he was currently responsible for the lives of so many and was training the next leader to do the same.

  Ana looked over the list with a critical eye, rubbing out a word here and there and replacing it with something that looked better. Once she was completely satisfied, she stood and retrieved both backpacks, dangling them from her left hand instead of slinging them over her shoulder. Walking back towards the center of the glade, Ana accidentally dropped Snick’s pack on top of the writing. Acting as if she hadn’t noticed, Ana called to Jax and headed towards the beach, chattering about nothing in particular as her companion trotted alongside.

  16

  Chapter 16

  Week 4

  Day 7

  Ana sat at the tree line, idly watching the beach as she waited on the yacht’s arrival. She knew it was still hours away but had nothing better to do and didn’t really feel like hanging around the glade. Jax was seated in her lap and Ana absently stroked the little creature’s fur while musing about the past month. She was completely worn out, both mentally and physically, and was looking forward to eating real food and sleeping in a comfortable bed. But overlaying these thoughts were a host of other, more complicated emotions.

  Ana was disappointed and even little sad to be leaving. She had hoped to find a way to meet with Jan at least once more, even if only for a moment, but unfortunately, that had not happened. Ana had not seen anyone else since leaving the message for Jan and the last several days had been very quiet. She wasn’t sure why she had been left alone but suspected that the government had learned all they needed to know and saw no reason to continue with any more trials. Ana was getting weaker by the day and the chances of surviving another major encounter with one of the island’s creatures was slim. If the government’s intention was that she stay alive, then they would try keep her safe until it was time for her to return to the mainland. Whatever the reason, Ana was grateful for the reprieve. During these final few days, she had done nothing more than rest, nap, and take daily trips to the beach in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Jan.

  Ana had basically given up trying to initiate another encounter. She had also abandoned the plan to ask Jax to assist with another effort, neither having the motivation nor energy to work on something she was sure would fail. Too tired to try and plan something again, Ana had hoped Jan would be the one to make the attempt this time. She wasn’t exactly sure why that had not happened, but it was possible he felt it wasn’t safe to see her before she left. Ana had attempted to give Jan enough information to try and locate her once he arrived back on the mainland, providing he felt the inclination to do so, supplying her surname, address in Flaga, and the new name and address she had been given after her return last time.

  Ana had been so hopeful after leaving the glade three days ago. Although not one-hundred percent certain Jan would come, she had a strong hunch he would. At the very least, he would want to get Snick’s backpack. Ana had tried to keep the questions pointed and concise, not wanting Jan to have to waste time trying to unravel their meanings. She believed she had thought of everything, but there was one thing she hadn’t considered. Ana had not factored in the weather. It rained so sporadically here that she had not even thought about the possibility of the words being washed away. Yet, that was exactly what had happened.

  After leaving the pack and exiting the glade, Ana had wanted nothing more than to hide behind a tree and wait. But her worry over the government’s possible surveillance had kept her from acting on the impulse. Ana needed them to believe the pack had slipped by accident and she had failed to realize it, continuing with her daily routine by leaving the glade at the normal time. Ana had walked through the trees, humming to Jax, until she hit the beach. She then sat down and watched the water, just as she had been doing for the last several days, absently noting the overcast sky and strong breeze before descending into daydreams. When the first drop struck her nose, Ana had snapped back to her surroundings, staring about in alarm. The clouds quickly darkened, thunder rumbled across the sky, and the rain began to fall in sheets, immediately sending Ana into a panic. Leaping to her feet, she sent Jax tumbling even as she apologized to her companion. Grabbing the pack, Ana had lifted Jax to one shoulder, telling the small animal to hold on tight. Knowing instantly what was going to happen to the words left in the dirt, Ana cursed at herself again for not thinking ahead. Running straight back to the glade as fast as possible, Ana had sincerely hoped the government believed she was just fleeing the bad weather.

  When she reached the edge of the grass, Ana had seen the backpack was no longer where she had left it. Trying to look casual but moving as quickly as possible, she entered the glade and trotted in the direction of the pool. Pretending to slip on the grass, Ana slid sideways and ended up next to the cleared area, whispering to Jax as she fell. Her companion understood immediately and leapt clear, returning to Ana’s side once Ana was down.

  Ana saw Jan had rubbed out the words and replaced them with his own. Moaning, she leveraged herself to a sitting position, rubbing the ankle as if it had been twisted or sprained. Huddling over and pretending to look at the supposed injury, Ana tried to scan what had been written while softly telling Jax to watch her step. The rain had already started washing some of the words away, so she hunched even further as if to shield herself from the weather while actually trying to keep more of the message from disappearing. Rapidly reading what Jan wrote, Ana was both elated and disappointed.

  Jan had written that he understood why she couldn’t meet with him, glad she had explained herself as he was afraid she no longer wanted to be friends. He then told Ana that after she finished reading, she should dig. Ana was glad Jan now understood why she had stayed away, harboring a fear that he had thought she didn’t care. This helped ease some of the tension she had been feeling and Ana had felt the knot in her stomach start to loosen.

  Jan had gone on to write that they could not communicate like this again as it was too dangerous. He would definitely find a way to meet with her before her departure since there were things she needed to know, causing Ana’s hopes to rise. Jan knew things she didn’t, and if he felt he could find a way to see her, Ana had no doubt he would do everything in his power to make it happen.

  It was here that the writing had started to disappear. Jan had written about her stay and the government’s involvement, but many of the words had washed away or had blurred too much to make out. Ana was left with not getting the full answers and in at least one instance, having more questions occur as she tried to decipher the real meaning behind the final sentence.

  Jan had declined to answer the question regarding his departure date and arrival home and Ana had been bitterly disappointed at this omission. She had no way of knowing the exact date of his arrival and couldn’t reasonably start hanging out near the dock for days on end, even if she was able to find a way there from whatever new home her family had been reassigned to. Ana hoped Jan would provide the information if they met again, having no other way to find him after he arrived back on the mainland.

  The final line was the one that gave Ana the most trouble, causing her to spend hours imagining what he had written. All that had been left were two letters, and they could have been followed by anything. Starting with the word “I” and followed by the letter “L”, Ana was at a loss as to what may have followed. She resolved to ask Jan when they met, even as her mind continued to form complete sentences around the two letters.

  Following Jan’s instructions, Ana had dug down after reading what had escaped the rain. Using the
knife, she started in the center and worked her way out. After a few minutes, Ana saw something unusual buried in the dirt. Putting the knife down, she carefully used her fingers to dig further, unearthing a bracelet woven from different fabrics. The bracelet was colorful and had small dangling strings, allowing it to be tied around her wrist. Ana had lifted it out of the dirt and held it under her hair, using the dripping water to rinse it. Stuffing it into a pocket, Ana planned on using it to tie her hair back after finishing here. She believed it would be overlooked as something she had come in with but didn’t want to draw attention to it by tying it on in the middle of a rainstorm. After stowing the bracelet, Ana refilled the hole and let the rain smooth out the dirt.

  Leaning back, Ana stretched her leg, flexing the ankle as she did so. Carefully standing, she affected a slight limp while heading back to the trees to seek shelter. Huddling under a bush with Jax pushed up against her, Ana waited on the storm to end, her mind going over what Jan had written again and again. When the sun finally came out, she limped back into the glade and stripped, the fact the government was probably watching not hampering her at all. Ana had stripped so many times that any attempt at modesty now would seem ridiculous and possibly suspicious as well. Using the last of the soap, she bathed completely, leaving the clothes to dry on the surrounding rocks. Sitting on her favorite flat one while the sun warmed her skin, Ana again went over what little she had read multiple times, wishing she had anticipated the rain and done something different. After mentally kicking herself numerous times, Ana realized the action was self-defeating, and forced herself to stop. Even if she had not fully planned this out, the deed was done and the outcome couldn’t be altered, no matter how much she wished to. Sighing heavily, Ana rose and checked on the clothing, flipping the shirt and pants so the reverse side dried. Pulling on her underwear, she flattened an area of grass and curled up on her side, asleep in minutes.