Diamond Lake Series: Complete Series (Bks 1-7) Boxset

by T. K. Chapin

  The warmth inside the grocery store helped thaw the gnawing coldness that seemed to be part of every shift at the tree lot the deeper we got into winter. Seeing a couple of kids take a sample from a bakery worker who was handing out bits of Christmas cookies, I decided to partake. Smiling at the young woman, who couldn’t have been a day over eighteen, I thought about what it was like to be that young again. The lack of bills to pay made for a different life altogether. Nibbling on the partial cookie, I walked over to the coffee stand that sat on the opposite side of the store. Ordering a house coffee, I took the welcomed piping hot cup and sat down at one of the tables in the coffee area.

  My phone buzzed.

  It was Peter.

  Peter: Awesome. Send me your address and I’ll pick you up at six, if that works for you.

  I replied back with the address to the inn. Peter could help take my mind off Connor and maybe I could have some fun. It’s not like any of it really mattered. I didn’t live in Spokane or out at the inn and I would soon be leaving.

  Peter showed up on time, and that was about the best part of the date. Minutes into the meal, I was beyond annoyed. He was a sweet guy who did amazing things for the greater good of his local congregation and the kids he pastored, but he never stopped talking. He drummed on and on about this project and that project. And while I was a huge advocate of being the hands and feet of Christ, there was another aspect I felt needed to accompany all those actions—humility. As he talked more about a homeless outreach program after I tried to send the visual cues I wasn’t interested, my eyes and mind wandered away from the table. While taking in the breathtakingly gorgeous woodwork of the pillars and archways inside The Old Spaghetti Factory, I thought of Connor. Did I scare him off somehow? I wondered.

  “. . . Angie?” Peter asked, but I only caught the last part because he used my name.

  “I’m sorry, what?” I shook my head and directed my attention to him.

  He flashed me a crooked smile and let out a sarcastic laugh. Setting down his napkin on the table, he crossed his arms. “Did you hear anything I said? I feel like I keep losing you.”

  My heart pounded in my ears. I didn’t want to be here. It felt like a mistake. It didn’t help that he was boring and only spoke of himself. “I’m sorry. You’re just talking a lot.”

  He nodded, but his lips were pursed. “Fine. Let’s talk about you. What’s your deal? Why are you single? You’re divorced, aren’t you?”

  “Nope. My husband’s dead,” I replied.

  “Oh . . .” His tone shifted dramatically and his shoulders relaxed as his arms uncrossed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

  Standing up, I slid my purse’s strap up onto my shoulder and shrugged. “How would you? This is the most I’ve spoken tonight, and it’s all been about you. Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen and part ways.”

  Taking my leave, I headed out of the restaurant right after the bread sticks but before the entree. I didn’t have time for a person like him. I’d find a movie to go to by myself. I didn’t need a jerk to accompany me the rest of the evening. On my way out the door, I called for a cab to pick me up.

  Walking out of the theater and down the slope to the sidewalk, I about fell over when I saw Connor across the street. Standing there a moment longer, I squinted to make sure it was really him—it was.

  “Connor!” I shouted.

  He couldn’t hear me over the sounds of the cars zipping by, nor did he see me. Raising my hand, I called out to him again as I came to the curb. Once clear, I crossed the street over to him.

  His eyebrows shot up at the sight of me and I smiled at him on my approach.

  “Angie,” he said. His hands were deep in his long black coat and he was wearing a black turtleneck. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was just at a movie. You know, I tried calling you earlier and even texted you.” I was confused as he never called me Angie.

  Suddenly, a woman came out of the coffee shop behind him and handed him a cup.

  Raising an eyebrow, I looked at her.

  “This is Natalie.” Connor looked over at the woman and said, “This is Angie. She’s a friend of mine from Florida visiting for a bit.”

  “Oh, wow. I bet it’s like really hot there, huh? And it’s really cold here.”

  Who is this woman? I thought to myself. “Like, totally,” I replied to her, matching her dumb tone as I grinned over at Connor, searching his eyes for an explanation. He smiled but didn’t say a word.

  “We’ve gotta go, but it was so nice meeting you, Hon,” the woman said, linking arms with Connor as she caught our exchanged looks.

  “I was just on a date earlier,” I added, trying to make myself feel relevant, maybe even attempting to make him care a little.

  “Oh?” Connor said with a suspicious tone.

  “He was being dumb though, so I ditched him and came to a movie by myself.”

  The blonde ditsy girl pulled on Connor’s coat. “We should get walking so we stay warm.”

  Connor nodded to her and then said to me, “Have a good night, Angie.”

  “You too.” Turning, they both left down the sidewalk. Watching as they walked away from where I was standing, I pulled out my cellphone and called for a cab. I felt like a complete idiot, not just for the way I tried to brag about my bad date, but for ever investing in so many emotions and thoughts of Connor. He said it best when he introduced me as ‘a friend who’s visiting from Florida.’

  After getting back to the inn that evening, I changed into my pajamas and got ready for bed. Rubbing lotion into my hands and up my arms, I heard my phone buzz on the nightstand. A dollop of hope surfaced in my heart. Connor? Leaning over, I turned the phone over to see it who it was. Peter thanked me for an amazing night, followed by a few laughing faces. Rolling my eyes, I went back to applying my lotion.

  CHAPTER 12

  Sitting on a stool in the kitchen, I enjoyed a bagel and cream cheese the next morning while I read the comics in the newspaper. Serenah was already busy with cleaning the kitchen. She knew I had a date last night with Peter, but neither of us brought it up. Wiping the same part of the counter for the fifth time in ten minutes, I set the paper down and looked at her.

  “Go ahead. Ask.”

  Turning, she tossed the rag into the sink and leaned her arms across the island countertop. “Do tell,” she said, leaning into the palms of her hands as they held her smile up.

  Ding, Dong

  Her eyes rolled toward the entryway at the sound of the doorbell. Standing upright, she looked back at me narrowly as she began heading out of the kitchen. “This isn’t over.”

  I laughed and turned back to my newspaper. Paying no attention to the conversation going on at the front door, I continued with my comics until a few minutes later when Serenah returned. Peering up from the paper, I saw not only her but Connor. My heart slammed against my ribcage and I suddenly became aware of my ‘just got out of bed’ look I was sporting with pajamas and unkempt hair. Setting the paper down, I stood up from the stool at the island and took a step back.

  “What are you doing here, Connor?”

  He came around the island in the kitchen and touched the side of my arm as he led me down into the dining area. “We need to talk.”

  Four words nobody ever wants to hear.

  Serenah nodded from the kitchen and took off down the hallway to her private quarters. Connor turned his head and saw her leave and then turned back to me. Feeling a mixture of vulnerability and surprise, my pulse raced. “What’s going on?”

  Wringing his hands, his lips parted for a second like he was going to speak. Looking into his eyes, I caught a glimpse of a world I didn’t understand behind them. Red outlines around bloodshot eyes indicated that something was definitely amiss. “Can we sit?”

  “By all means,” I replied, holding out a hand to a table nearby. We both took a seat and he scooted the chair in closer to the table. Bringing his hands together atop the table,
he dipped his chin to his chest. Whatever this was, it was serious.

  “Is it about that girl?” I asked.

  “No.” He laughed a little as he shook his head. “That girl was nothing. No, I need to tell you something about my past.”

  “What is it?” I asked, leaning in as he leaned in more.

  His head swayed to the left and then to the right. “There’s no way to really say it other than to just say it. It’s kind of the reason why I haven’t been talking to you a whole lot lately. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that.”

  “Ha. Yeah . . . I’ve noticed.”

  He nodded. “I had hoped dodging calls and texts and just not seeing you before you left would let this die down between us, but seeing you last night tore me to pieces. I was so jealous you had been on a date with someone else even if it was terrible. Anyways, there’s something you need to know. Remember how I told you I dealt with an episode of depression?”

  I nodded slowly, trying to anticipate what he would say.

  “Well, I tried to kill myself.” Pulling up his sleeves, he showed me his arms.

  My insides tightened around my heart. My heart broke for him. He began weeping and trying to hide it with his hands as his chin held tightly against his chest. I reached across the table to touch his hands. “Connor . . .”

  He wiped his eyes hard and then looked at me. “No. I don’t want you to feel bad for me, Angie.” He stood up. “You probably think I’m just selfish. It’s why we would never work.”

  Shaking my head with confusion, I said, “Why would I think that?”

  He walked past me and over to the doors that led out to the lake. Staring out, he shook his head. “How could you not? Your husband died, by no choice of his own.” Connor turned around and came over to me at the table. Bending at the knees, he looked into my eyes with his sad, red, swollen eyes. “I tried to take my own life, Angie.”

  Framing his face with my hands as my heart almost bled through my pajamas, I shook my head and tears started rolling down my cheeks. “Connor, I’ve been there. Do you know how many times I felt like giving up right after I lost Ted? I understand how it gets to that point.”

  “You got to that point because your husband died. I was there because I am selfish and weak. You said at the company party that you don’t understand how someone can take a life. Well, that’s what I tried to do. Look, you leave in a couple of weeks to go back home, and then we’ll never see each other again. I think we need to leave it be and not see each other anymore.”

  Serenah walked back into the kitchen and we both looked over at her. She took a step back toward the hallway, but Connor shook his head.

  “I should go,” Connor said. His unease with Serenah nearby was apparent.

  I grabbed his arm to stop him. He looked at me. “Don’t go. Let’s talk more,” I pleaded.

  “I don’t want to talk.” He shrugged my hand off his arm and left, cutting through the living room and through the foyer to the front door.

  The door closed, and Serenah came into the dining room and shook her head as she surveyed my tear-soaked face. “What happened?” she asked as she touched both my shoulders.

  Letting out a cry, I let my face fall into her shoulder. “He told me about his attempted suicide.”

  Serenah gently patted my head as I continued to cry. “He recommitted his life to the Lord and has made marvelous changes in his life since then. Do you want me to call in for you down at the tree lot? It’s only volunteer work. You don’t have to go.”

  Shaking my head, I wiped my eyes and said, “I really need the distraction today. I’ll go get ready.”

  Serenah stopped me before I left the room. “It’s clear he likes you, Angie. Maybe he just needs to come to terms with things before he fully admits that.”

  The truth was that I didn’t want to talk either. My mind felt clouded, my thoughts jumbled. I simply nodded at Serenah and continued downstairs.

  That evening, the town of Newport had their annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony on Main Street and everyone was in attendance. Stations with free hot cocoa were all over in the street, and the tree, which replaced the location of an iron horse for the holidays, according to Serenah, was ready to have its lights turned on. Don down at the tree lot told me earlier that day that it took twelve Boy Scouts, three ladders, and half a day of stringing lights to cover the whole thirty-foot tree in lights.

  Snow began to fall lightly as the final five minutes until the tree lighting approached. All of Serenah and Charlie’s friends were there, even Connor. Just having him there, even though we weren’t talking, brought a certain level of comfort to me. The way he made me feel by merely being present was indefinable. Sadness also clouded my thoughts though. We could’ve been great if he’d just let us be. Distance wouldn’t matter. “You should try to be less obvious.” Katie grinned at me as she raised an eyebrow and shot a quick look Connor’s way.

  “What? Sorry.”

  “I’m just playing. You really like him, don’t you?” Taking a sip of her cocoa, she continued, “He’s a good guy, Angie.”

  “Yeah. Not like that Peter guy.”

  “Hey, I didn’t know him that well. I just figured since he was a youth pastor, he’d be okay.” Katie shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Glancing over at Connor again, I said, “Do you know why he is trying to keep himself distanced from me?” Looking over at her as I realized I was bringing her in the middle, I shook my head as my eyebrows went up. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring you into it.”

  Katie peered over at Connor. “It’s okay to ask. Honestly? I think he doesn’t feel he deserves you. You lost someone while he attempted to end his own life. That and you’re leaving to go back to Florida in two weeks.”

  “What?” I replied, taken aback. “Deserves me? What’s that even mean?”

  “Connor feels a lot of guilt over what he’s done in his life. Even with Christ as his Savior, Connor hasn’t been able to get over some of the guilt associated with all the junk. Don’t tell him I told you any of that. Just food for thought.”

  “Angie,” Micah, the kid from the tree lot, said gleefully as he tugged on my coat. Turning to him, I smiled at him.

  “What is it, Micah?” Our breaths rose up from our lips as we spoke.

  “Don’s letting me flip the switch!” He grinned from ear to ear at his own words.

  Letting my mouth drop open in an over-reactive response, I said, “No way! You lucky duck!”

  His eyes went wide, and the little boy nodded frantically. “Watch me do it, Angie! Watch me.” He scurried over to the tree and up to Don’s side as I stood back upright. Watching him with a grin, I gave him a thumbs-up when his eyes found mine a moment later. The scores of people that were there that night with cups of cocoa in hand all turned their attention to the tree and Don as his voice came over the microphone system and speaker.

  “Thanks, everybody, for coming out. It’s a bit cold out here right now, so let’s not waste any time.”

  The crowd laughed.

  “Three . . . two . . . one!”

  An array of colors lit up the Christmas tree in a grand display of beauty. Glancing over toward Connor, I saw him stuck in a wondrous gaze at the tree and I thought about what Katie had told me about him. He doesn’t feel like he deserves me? I thought. Is it that or that I’m going back to Florida in a week and a half?

  CHAPTER 13

  Though it hurt to think that Connor wasn’t willing to see if we had something more, I spent the rest of my visit enjoying time with Serenah. We baked, we sewed stockings, and we reminisced about childhood memories. We found a great deal on red poinsettias at the grocery store and used them to help put the finishing touches on the inn. On Christmas Eve, Serenah sent me down to the grocery store to pick up a can of baked beans because of Nathan’s love of them. He was one of her and Charlie’s friends that was coming over that night.

  Intently looking over the million variations of bak
ed beans in the canned goods aisle of the grocery store, I didn’t know which brand to get. Christmas music rang in my ears as I looked over the rather large selection of beans. It was the only store in Newport still open at four o’clock on Christmas Eve. I’ve heard of Bush’s baked beans. I wonder if that’s what I’m supposed to get. I’ll call her. Pulling out my phone from my purse, I called Serenah and asked about the beans. As I was standing idle, an unexpected visitor turned down my aisle.

  It was Connor.

  “Oh, no . . .”

  “What?” Serenah asked, her tone worried.

  Turning sharply away from Connor, I lowered my voice. “Connor is here!”

  “Well . . . you know he’s coming tonight.”

  “What? Really?”

  “Bush’s Baked Beans Traditional is fine! Go talk to him.”

  Click.

  Lowering my phone from my ear, I felt my insides freeze over as I turned around. He was reading the label on a can of corn and hadn’t noticed me standing in the aisle yet. Glancing down the opposite way, I entertained the thought of running away like a coward. That’d look ridiculous, I thought.

  Turning, I faced him. My pulse soared and anxiety knotted in my chest as I headed his way. My feelings for Connor hadn’t gone away.

  He looked up, stopping me in my tracks.

  Our eyes connected.

  “Angie.” He set the can of corn back on the shelf and turned full-body. He walked over to me and asked, “How have you been?”

  “I’m fine.” I wanted to speak more. I wanted to tell him I cared about him a lot, even more than before, but I couldn’t. My words struggled against the fact that I was returning to Tampa in just two days. It wasn’t fair to him. There was a sensation around my neck as if a rope was tied around it and someone or something wouldn’t let me speak another word.

  “Oh.” He adjusted his footing. “Well, I’ll see you in a little bit over at the inn.”