The Outcast Ones

by Maya Shepherd

  “I liked her,” I say quietly.

  Green Eyes tilts his head and inspects me curiously. “More than the others?”

  I nod.

  His mood turns pensive. “Aren’t you all the same? How can you like someone more than the others?”

  “She’s not like the others.”

  “How so?”

  “She behaves differently, she talks differently, she laughs. No one laughs in the safety zone. She’s so lively.”

  “And you like that?”

  “Yes!” I cry out, firmly convinced, then recognise that I may have said too much. It sounds like I’m criticising the Legion commanders, but I only wanted to say D523 matters to me.

  “Are there other people in the safety zone that you like better than others?”

  C515 comes quickly to mind, but I’m keeping that for myself so I only shake my head.

  “Would you prefer to laugh more often in the safety zone? Don’t you think it’s...mean that they forbid it?”

  This time I won’t fall for it. I won’t complain about my home in front of these criminals.

  “It’s too late for that. I won’t see the safety zone again.”

  Irritated, he furrows his brow. “How do you know that?”

  “If you don’t kill me, the radiation will.”

  A smile sneaks across his lips. “But we’re alive.”

  “How long have you all lived outside the safety zone?”

  “Me—15 years. Others much longer. Finn has never lived anywhere else.”

  “Finn?”

  “The guy with the temper.”

  “He doesn’t have a designation?”

  “No, nobody here has that. I think it’s time I introduced myself.” He stretches a hand towards me. “I’m Paul.”

  What am I supposed to do with his hand? Why is he holding it out to me?

  He reaches over the table and grips my hand. His fingers lay warm on my skin before he gives a light shake.

  “That’s how we greet one another,” he explains, and grins—just like I saw D523 do.

  “Have the Legion commanders never told you that there’s no more radiation outside? The Third World War was so long ago that there’s hardly anything left of it.”

  I stare at him in disbelief. Unsure if I should believe him. Why would they lie to us?

  “They never told you about us either, right?”

  “Yes they did. You’re the outcasts.”

  “That’s how it started, many years ago, but now we’re much more than that. We’re rebels.”

  There it is again, that terrible, dangerous word. I don’t want anything to do with it.

  “Why are you doing this? The Legion only wants to protect us. They keep humanity safe. We’d be dead without them.”

  “That might have been true, once. Now they’re only locking you up to keep control. They don’t let you live—or laugh. You said that yourself. Do you think that’s fair?”

  “It’s necessary. We’re the last humans.”

  “We were never the last and we’ll never be the last. The world is full of people. There are so many safety zones and Legions that we can’t even count them all. If you like, we could call ourselves a safety zone here.”

  I shake my head, horrified. “How can you dare to say that? You have nothing at all in common with the Legion. You kidnapped us and you’re keeping us prisoner. There’s no safety here!”

  My voice is louder and sharper than it’s ever been before. I feel a wild tremor in my stomach area and observe the hair on my arms is standing up. I’d really like to hit the table, but I don’t. “Finn” would behave like that—not me.

  “How do you think the Legion treats its enemies? They kill them without hesitation. They only made the mistake once of sending them into the desert with no food or water. They won’t do that again. Anyone not for them, they shoot in cold blood.”

  Adamant, I shake my head again and refuse to believe him. “You’re a liar!”

  He blows out a breath and falls back into the chair. Then he shakes his head, disappointed. “I understand that you don’t believe me. You’ve never known anything else but the safety zone. If it was me, I’d probably feel the same. But think about what I’ve said. I’m sure you must have doubted the Legion at times. Not all of their decisions are right.”

  He stands up and leads me out of the cell, back to F701. But when he opens the door, she’s not there.

  “Where is she?” I cry out, alarmed.

  “She’s being questioned, just like you, that’s all.”

  “Will she come back after that?”

  “Who knows...maybe she’s a bit more trusting than you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You have the choice. To live as a human—or keep playing robots and labourers for the Legion.”

  Another lie. They won’t just let us go, if we decide against them. I’m their prisoner until I agree with them or I die. I don’t have any other choice.

  Paul notices my hesitation and reads it wrongly. “Are you afraid to be alone?”

  “No.” I press my lips together bravely. Now that he’s said it, I realise he might be right. When the door clicks closed, I flinch once and wrap my arms around myself. It’s warm in the cell, warmer than anywhere in the safety zone, whether day or night, but I’m still freezing. Maybe these are the first effects of the radiation, if it even exists any more.

  I don’t know what to believe any more. Who’s lying, and who’s telling the truth? Since I was a small child I’ve been used to the Legion telling me what’s right and wrong. It’s not necessary to think about things yourself—it’s even counterproductive. Too many different opinions could lead to conflicts and war. What should I do when everything I’ve always resisted is the only way to survive here? I know one thing for sure: I’m not ready to die.

  Weak, I lean against the rough stone and realise how heavy my legs are, and my eyes, and my whole body. I feel so, so tired. Thinking is torture. Maybe I should just rest for a moment, just a little break. My eyes fall closed and I am carried into a restless sleep.

  Lifeless ash-pale bodies are stacked in piles. All the life is gone from them, leaving grotesquely disfigured shells behind. They are naked and cold, lying on the sandy red earth. Their light blue eyes are wide with horror, reflecting their fear of death. There’s a hole in each forehead and the last few drops of dark red blood are seeping out. They’ve been shot. All together, sparing none.

  I want to scream, but my mouth remains silent. I can’t even feel it. Am I dead, too? I lift my gaze and see the white suits of the Legion commanders. They’re holding guns, aiming at me. A shot pings close by my head, another hits the ground by my feet and makes the red dust twirl upwards. I can’t move. The Legion commanders approach—I can look into their eyes. It’s a lie. Their eyes aren’t like mine, but full of light and shadow. They’re so angry. The Legion commander looks right into my face as he presses the gun against my head. It’s Finn.

  I scream as I wake, and scramble around. What happened? Did he shoot me? In a panic I prod at my stomach, but the blood and the wound are gone. Only the red sand remains, making me cough.

  The door is jerked open and I flee to the back corner of the cell. It’s him again—except he forgot the gun.

  “What are you screaming for? You got a problem?” he growls at me.

  “You want to kill me. I saw you!” I try to see past him into the little hallway. Maybe he’s too cowardly to do it himself.

  Suddenly his eyes go wide and the angry wrinkles between them disappear. He looks surprised and almost...nice. Golden rays of sunshine catch in the soft waves of his hair, and his eyes don’t look like a storm at sea any more, but rather like a gentle splashing stream. But the expression lasts only a moment.

  “Don’t talk rubbish! You just had a bad dream.” He doesn’t sound quite so mean any more.

  Before I can answer, he closes the door and I’m alone again. A dream? What’s that?r />
  Maybe I’m going crazy. Hallucinations are a sign of radioactive contamination. Why are the outcasts not affected? Do they have an antidote? If they have one, then the Legion must have one too. They could give it to me if I manage to find my way back to them. They would help me—the safety of the last humans is still the most important thing. Paul must be lying. The Legion doesn’t shoot anyone. That story would suit Finn much better.

  My gaze wanders across the cell and stops at the sloped opening in the ceiling. It’s not a big hole, maybe 30 centimetres wide. I look down at myself and see how loose the suit already is over my stomach. Since we’ve been here, I’ve lost weight. I miss the personalised nutrition units. I could just about fit through there, quite unlike the broad Paul or even Finn. The thought of him stuck up there in the hole is a funny one and I start to giggle. For a moment I enjoy the joyous bubbling in my stomach. It dances up to my throat and flows out of my mouth. It reminds me of D523.

  Then I quickly cover my mouth with my hand. I’m shocked at myself. What am I doing? I’m not like her. I don’t want to be like her. Not a rebel. Rebellion is bad.

  It’s time for me to get out of here, but it’s not that simple. It can’t go wrong. I’ll have to watch them first, and I should start straight away.

  Softly I step towards the wall where the door is and settle carefully on the floor so I can look out of a hole. Immediately I freeze—a man’s legs partially block my sight. Is it Finn? Or Paul?

  At the opposite side I see two other men. Strangely enough, they remind me of the safety zone, because they look like each other. Both of them have shaggy black hair, and unlike Finn, they look happy. They’re shoving each other, telling a story and then laughing heartily. I like watching them—I don’t feel so alone.

  F701 didn’t come back. A week has gone by since I decided to escape. I counted the sunrises and sunsets. I noticed that most of the outcasts sleep at night, just like we do in the safety zone. During the day there are mostly four guards in the hall with the corridors, but at night there are only two. I like it best when it’s Jep and Pep. I’ve found out that the outcasts call them twins. But they’re not as alike as I thought. Jep’s voice is nicer than his brother’s, but Pep is better at playing guitar. Pep is also a little bit shorter than Jep, which he tries to make up for by taking extra long steps so that his gait has something of a hop to it. Pep’s favourite colour is green, but Jep prefers blue. Their clothes are always a mix of colours, never so dull as the suits in the safety zone or Finn’s boring black.

  When they play music together, for that moment I forget my escape plans and just listen. It’s more beautiful even than laughter and it makes me wonderfully happy. Whenever Jep and Pep laugh, it makes me laugh too, quietly, just for myself. They’ve heard me several times but continued to ignore me. Once, Pep even wanted to check on me, but Jep reminded him that Finn would be mad if he found out. Finn seems to be mad a lot of the time. So I’m happy if I don’t have to see him, and often that is the case. During the day, Paul often asks me questions or else they leave me completely alone.

  I’m always happy when it’s time for food—“feeding time”, as Finn calls it. I don’t care that it’s bread every time. The Legion commanders could really learn something from the nutrition here. It’s delicious.

  Once Paul wanted to give me something called “soup”, but Finn wouldn’t let him. He said it was too valuable for someone like me. I don’t care how much he hates me. I’ll be gone soon. Today’s the day. Today I’ll dare to take the leap and escape. I hope Jep and Pep will make music again first, because besides the bread, that’s what I’ll miss most in the safety zone

  Carefully I look up to the hole in the ceiling. It’s so dark already that I can hardly differentiate the sky from the cave roof. Heavy clouds cover the stars, robbing me of light. Actually I find the clouds just as fascinating as the sun, the moon or the stars, because I never saw any of these things from inside the safety zone. I like watching the clouds move across the sky, or small ones joining up with bigger ones. Sometimes they’re white like the Legion commanders’ suits, sometimes they’re grey like the hallways in the safety zone.

  Sometimes the whole sky is full of clouds and other times there are only a few little ones. I could watch them for hours. But today they are an irritation. Without starlight I’ll see even less of the strange surroundings. It might be crazy, but it’s my only chance to get back to the safety zone, back to my home. Well, if I can’t see anything, maybe the outcasts won’t see me either.

  Quickly I look out one of the small holes in the wall to observe the situation. Tonight Finn is there, which makes it even more necessary for me to escape.

  Without thinking, I look through the hole and freeze as the lively blue of Finn’s eyes looks into mine. Instantly I cower back and start concocting an explanation, although no one told me I can’t look through the holes.

  I expect the door to be shoved open, but it remains quiet. He must have seen me—he looked right into the cell. Why did he do that? Does he want to watch me? Does he know what I’m planning?

  Carefully I step to the wall again and look through a different hole. This time I see a wave of Finn’s blond hair. He’s standing with his back to the cell, so that I can see his profile from the side. Through his hair I can see his reddened cheeks in the light of his torch. He looks uncertain, just as embarrassed as me.

  Both of us stop breathing without knowing it. The only sound is the wind whistling through the holes in the cave.

  Suddenly Finn clears his throat and breaks the silence. “Why did you look at the sky?”

  It’s the first time his voice hasn’t sounded rough and mean. He actually seems interested.

  “I wanted to see the stars.”

  At first he’s quiet but I can see by his expression that he wants to know more. He starts to speak a few times but always stops himself. Eventually he makes himself do it. “Was it here that you saw stars for the first time?”

  “Yes,” I whisper back. “They’re beautiful.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this, but it feels right. The stars are something neither of us can influence. They have always been there and will always be there. It would be wrong to say that I don’t like them just because it was in this place that I saw them for the first time. The projected stars in the Atrium can’t be compared with the real thing at all. They don’t sparkle and they don’t move.

  Finn is silent, but his face doesn’t seem quite so dismissive as it usually is. There’s a question I’ve always wanted too ask him but I’ve never had the chance.

  “How do you know D523?”

  In an instant his body goes stiff and his lips press together until there’s only a narrow line to see. I know immediately it was a mistake to ask him. I move back just in case, because I expect him to get mad any second now, but he only straightens his shoulders and calls out, “Paul, you take over here.”

  Paul comes loping along and Finn disappears from view.

  When I’m back in the safety zone, I’ll ask D523 about Finn. I’m sure she won’t make such a secret out of it. She’s always been honest to me, even if not everything she said was exactly true. At least she believed it was true.

  When I try to climb up the sandy wall, my boots scrape loudly. Far too much noise. If I keep going, Paul is certain to get suspicious. Quickly I slip to the front wall and look out. He doesn’t seem suspicious yet, but surely it won’t be long before he gets interested in the sound.

  Without hesitating, I crouch to the floor and undo the laces of my boots.

  The sand feels strange under my bare feet. It sticks between my toes and is pleasantly soft and warm, even though it’s night-time. I’ve never felt my feet more than in this moment. Now, when I set a foot on the wall rock, there’s nothing to hear. With my hands I grip the uneven rock spurs and pull myself upwards against the wall. It’s hard to find places to hold on, but I can do it, and I’m even enjoying it. In the safety zone there was no place for climbing, e
verything is flat or polished there. But then, no one there is preparing to escape. In the past I would have asked why I’d ever want to escape from somewhere. The safety zone was the only place that existed for me in the whole world.

  The hole in the ceiling is so close now that I can stretch a hand through it, then I rest on one foot and push my face through. A cool wind blows around my nose and my bald head. It even smells different here. I can’t describe the smell, it’s got so many facets and it’s so strange that I have no words for it.

  I try to recognise something, anything in the darkness, but except for red hills, I can’t see a thing. Still I push my body through the narrow hole. My hips stick for a moment, but a little effort helps me out and I’m free. Barefoot, I stand beside the hole and look out at the surroundings.

  Slowly my eyes get used to the dark, but I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I thought there would be level ground, a little cave in the middle of nowhere. But it’s completely different. Around the cave I stand on, which isn’t small at all, there are trees several metres high. It must be a kind of forest. None of it is dead, as the Legion commanders always showed us in their recordings. There’s more life here than would ever be possible inside the safety zone.

  For a moment I find myself doubting and I ask myself what else the Legion might not have told us. Maybe I should stay here, maybe the outcasts are right. But the way to freedom is within my reach. It’s so near that I don’t want to climb back into the tiny cell. I cast my doubts away and step carefully across the hilly cave top, one foot in front of the other.

  The cave is much bigger than I thought. There must be a lot more in there than just the hall with the little cells. I make an effort to go slowly so that no one will notice me. The wind drags at me, pushes me, shoves me from one side to another. So I’m happy when I notice the slope starting to descend. I drop to my knees and grope along the ground, then let myself down over the edge.

  Suddenly I hear excited voices some distance away. Torchlight brightens the darkness in the distance. Have they really noticed my disappearance so quickly? Looking at the trees I judge that it can’t be much farther so I let myself fall to the ground. But it must be several metres, and I lose control of my body. With a loud crash I land on my rear in the rough sand. I get up quickly when I hear running feet, and decide to hide in the forest. They won’t find me so easily there.