by Rose, Angel
“Jen, there wasn’t a moment when I didn’t want to go to your house with my shotgun and kill your father. I told your mother so many times to leave him…and finally, she said yes. We were going to tell you on Thanksgiving, we had everything planned. I moved to New York when you got accepted to Penn State. Your mother said she needed time to get everything settled before she could leave him. We saw each other every time she went to visit you. I went to Pennsylvania every weekend to be with her. He never knew anything because she always told him she stayed with you.” His eyes teared up. His body was giving out on him. He leaned against the conference table holding the edges with his hands, the white of his knuckles showing the weight of his weak body. I knew this memory of my mother was killing him inside. “She was so excited to finally leave him and she was going to pack up some stuff and send it to me without him knowing. I think he knew something was going on because the weekend of your birthday, he decided to take her on a mini vacation because he knew she was going to stay with you for your birthday.” He shook his head. “She sent me a text. Here…read it.” He was choking back his tears as he handed me the phone.
I grabbed the cell phone reluctantly. I looked down to see a photo of a message. He must have saved it the night she was killed. I swallowed hard and panic set in. I glanced at Dr. Kate then at Dr. Joe as my heart pounded against my chest. I look down at the phone again as my hands trembled.
Sat, Nov. 21, 9:15 PM
Joe, I’m in the bathroom at the gas station on route 209. I think he knows about us, he’s been drinking all day and saying things here and there. I’ve wanted to call Jenesis all day to wish her a happy birthday but he won’t let me. He forced himself on me today. I almost threw up. But I had to, if I didn’t he probably would’ve killed me. I’m sorry. He’s so drunk and right now, he’s getting more to drink. I’m scared. When we get to the hotel I’m going to call you to pick me up. Leave New York now and head down here.
2/2
I’m leaving him today, then we can drive and get Jenesis and we will all leave to New York and live together…as a family. Joe, I love you, I wanted to surprise you next week but I can’t wait. I’m pregnant. It’s yours. If something happens to me…Please tell Jenesis, I love her, remember what I told you, she might be yours, so always treat her like she is. I love you…I love you. I have to go he’s banging on the door.
My heart was beating erratically, and I literally became dizzy trying to catch my breath. I was having a panic attack. Joe grabbed me by the arms and sat me on the couch.
“She was pregnant?” I whispered as I turned my face towards the window and held my belly. I was gasping for air and crying hysterically. Dr. Kate came over and hugged me tightly and I grabbed on to her.
“You need to calm down.” she said.
“No one told me she was pregnant. The coroner didn’t say anything. I didn’t go to identify the body. I wouldn’t have known. I wouldn’t have known.” I said as I shook my head, tears rolling down my cheeks as my whole face contorted from the ugliest cry you can think of.
“Your Aunt Stephanie knew, but she didn’t know if you knew about me.” he was exasperated.
“What? You mean she knew about you? Why was everyone lying to me? I don’t understand. I wasn’t a child anymore. All of these years passing me by. All of those years afraid of my father and there was a simple explanation. You and my mother were selfish. You only thought about your happiness, never mine.” I shook my head. I wiped my tears and deep down inside I wanted them to all disappear. How could they do this to me?
“Your mother was a good woman, caught in an awful abusive marriage way before I walked into her life. But then things got worse. He knew…he knew all along about us…and he knew that there was a chance that you were mine. And that’s why he did what he did to you every day. I loved her to death…and now she’s dead along with my baby. The only piece of her memory that I can hold on to is you…I need to know if you’re my daughter. Please Jenesis, let’s do this test together. I need to know…I need to know.” he pleaded with tears in his eyes. I looked into his eyes and I saw myself. I wanted to know. I needed to know.
“How did he know?”
“Your Uncle Mike…told him. He was in love with your mother and he got jealous when he saw us together at the diner in Sayreville. I was kissing your mother and rubbing her belly when he walked in with a client. She had just told me she was pregnant with you.
“My God, this is so disturbing. I trusted Uncle Mike with everything. Why?” I sat on the couch in disbelief. Uncle Mike out of all people; I.am.devastated.
“Jenesis, I’m sorry. I know this doesn’t make sense. Please, I need to know, I want to be your father. I always wanted to be.” he whispered. I stood glaring at him for a moment. My insides were shaking and my baby was doing somersaults. I needed to know so I could move on.
“Okay…let’s do it.” I reached out for him and he held me tight in his arms and kissed the hair at the top of my head. A strong tight hug from a man I always looked up to, who now, just might be my father. My phone vibrated again. It was Michael. I let go of Joe and grabbed my cell phone. Jenesis, where are you? Are you okay? What’s going on?
Michael
I sent him a text.
I’m with Dr. Joe and Dr. Kate. I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.
He didn’t respond.
“Jenesis, I wanted to make things right between you and Joe and I want you to know if you are not his daughter, you will still be part of our family. I’m pregnant and I would love to share this experience with you.” she said smiling.
“We have a friend who does paternity tests he’ll be here shortly. Can I get you some coffee?” She stood up and walked towards the door.
“Let’s order breakfast…you both are eating for two now. Karen can you order some food from the diner around the corner?” Joe said graciously.
“I’d like Michael to be here. Do you mind?” I asked as I stood up to walk around. I felt a panic attack coming on.
“Of course not, please call him”, she said. Joe looked toward the window then walked over to Kate and kissed her on the lips. I wanted to smack him and smack him hard. Kissing her betrayed my mother, but she was dead, and he needed to move on, too.
“I…want you to know…I don’t know the whole story about what happened between you and Dave. The media hid everything, but I sense there’s so much more going on here. I hope Michael wasn’t involved. I would hate to have to dislike him…or break his neck.” he stared at me intensely. If he only knew the truth.
“Michael is the love of my life and this baby is his. You don’t have to worry about him.” I glanced over at Dr. Kate, she was startled when the phone intercom buzzed.
“Dr. Kate, a Ben Ramer is here. Should I let him in? The food will be here in a few minutes.” Karen’s voice belted out through the intercom.
“Yes…Hold the food. Let him in.” she shouted. “Jenesis, I think he’s here. It might be a colleague of his. I asked John to come.” she said happily as she glanced my way. Karen opened the door and a young man walked in rolling a brown leather Louis Vuitton suitcase.
“Dr. Kate? I’m Ben Ramer. You asked John to come but he had a prior engagement, so he sent me instead. Is everyone here?” he asked standing up tall, dressed impeccably sharp in a dark gray suit. His green eyes burned a hole through mine, making me feel uncomfortable, so I stood up and removed myself from his view walking over towards the couch.
“Um…We’re both here, sport.” Joe said sarcastically as he gave Ben a ‘you better watch it look’. “But she’s waiting for her husband so you’ll have to wait.” Joe smiled at him.
“Not a problem. I have all day. May I?” he said as he pointed to the couch where I was sitting.
“Jenesis…shouldn’t you call Michael, your husband, now?” Joe motioned with his eyes for me to get up and move away from Ben.
“Yes, will you excuse me?” I smiled at Ben.
“Of course, I’ll
be here when you get back.” Ben said with a white toothed grin. I walked out of the office and passed Karen on the way out to the hallway. I enjoyed Ben flirting with me. I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.
I tapped on Michael’s name on my cell phone.
“Hello?”
“Jenesis, what’s going on?” Michael said softly.
“I’m here with Dr. Joe and Kate. I want you come. I’m getting the paternity test done.” I whispered.
“Okay, baby, I’ll be right there. Where are you?” he said without even taking a breath.
“I’ll text you the address so you could put it in your GPS. I love you.” I hung up the phone and walked back into the office as I texted the address to Michael. Ben stood up.
“Please, sit…” he motioned for me to sit on the couch with his green eye’s which then conveniently followed my ass when I walked by, I just shook my head.
“No, thank you. Joe, may I speak to you outside…alone.” I tilted my head to the side towards the door and he followed me out of the office.
“I wanted to thank you,” I said as my lips trembled. I held my stomach as I tried to think of the right words to say to him.
“For what? Ruining your life.” he shook his head.
“No, for giving my mother some type of happiness all of those years. Every time she was with me, she seemed happy, calm and at peace. I thought it was just because she was with me, but now I know. You made her life worth living. She loved you and you tried to protect her, but she knew…she knew he would really hurt her or me, if he ever found out about you. And then he killed her, he probably drove into that utility pole on purpose…head on to make sure they both died.” My hands were shaking. My heart hurt me so badly. I hated my father more than ever today. He was still that monster…even if he was dead. “Though I miss her more than anything in the world, she was destined to die a horrible death at the hands of my father…he was going to kill her anyway.” I reached out to hug him when the elevator doors opened and Michael walked towards us.
“Jenesis, come here, baby, are you okay?” he held me tight against his chest. He glanced over at Joe and extended his hand. Joe grabbed his hand and shook it.
We all walked in together as Ben and Kate stood up to greet us. We sat around the conference table and Ben explained to us what was about to happen.
“This test is quick and painless; you should get the results in a couple of days.” Ben explained as we all glanced at each other. It was an uncomfortable situation…for all of us. “By the way, is the mother involved on her way.” he perused around the room then looked at our faces.
“I told John it was just two, the father and daughter.” Dr. Kate looked at Ben seriously. He nodded.
“Okay, let’s begin.” He took out what looked like long cotton swabs, tubes and two packets that had butterfly needles inside of them. I hated needles. I thought he said it would be quick and painless. Michael held my hand through everything as Kate sat anxiously holding her hands together in her lap. Joe was calm, but I could tell his mind was somewhere else. Though Kate was young and beautiful, there was no denying that he had loved my mother, she was only forty-five and in the prime of her life with a new baby on the way. She was a beautiful woman, inside and out. Joe sat pensively near the window, while Ben worked on me first. Michael stared at Kate, then stood up and walked over to her.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“You know…I thought this would be easy, but it’s not. I’m pregnant, we’re not married and his heart belongs to her mother. I know she’s dead, but I also know…that he loved her and that kind of hurts. It especially hurts to know that she was pregnant when she died just over two years ago and now… this …Jenesis. How can I compete with that?” She began to sob into her hands. Michael held her hand tenderly as his mouth parted in awe. He glanced over at me and whispered, “Pregnant?” as Joe walked over to her. Joe knelt in front of her and Michael stood up and walked over to me.
“I love you, Kate,” Joe said. “You, no one else. What happened was tragic, but it’s been over two years and I have fallen hopelessly in love with you. It doesn’t mean I never loved her, it just means, it’s time to move on. You have nothing to fear…nothing. You and the baby mean everything to me.” he kissed her lips and hugged her tightly. Dr. Kate was about fifteen years younger than Joe. I could see why she loved him though. He was tall, handsome and the kindest, sweetest man on the Earth.
Michael walked out of the office. Ben was done digging in my cheeks and pricking my veins, so I left and followed Michael.
“What’s wrong?” I asked placing my arms around his waist.
“This is all so crazy. Our life is a goddamn Lifetime movie. I wish I would have never met you that day at John Jay. I didn’t know it was you, I swear. I just can’t believe this is happening.” He shook his head and then grabbed me by my arms. “He was right about me…I was someone else until I met you…you should’ve run away from me at the altar. But he promised me this was never going to happen because he loved you and…I loved you. He lied. He lied to everyone.” Michael seemed panic, as if this paternity test triggered a memory for him.
“Michael, calm down. We’ve been through this and much, much more. I can’t get upset. Please, I’m pregnant and I don’t want anything to happen to this baby.” I grabbed his arm tightly and he shrugged me off. I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes shut. I felt his lips on mine and I fell apart. I sobbed into his chest as his hands caressed the back of my neck, then he slid them down my back and grabbed onto my waist. He slipped his tongue between my parted lips and kissed me sensually, softly. I kissed him holding nothing back. The feeling was electrifying and I wanted him to hold on to me forever. I held his face in my hands and pulled away slightly from his lips,
“I love you.” I whispered against his lips.
“How can you be so forgiving? With everything that I’ve done to you.” he shook his head and placed his forehead against mine.
“My mother loved my father unconditionally.”
“Did she? Really?”
“Well, that’s what I thought all of these years. I’ve learned to accept the good with the bad…even if the bad outweighed the good. I can’t explain our relationship right now…But, I do know that… I love you. I love you with all of my heart and it’s all I know.” I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest near my heart. I heard the door open and saw Dr. Joe peek his head out into the hallway.
“There you are. We thought you guys left.” Joe said concerned as he walked towards us.
“Well, that’s it guys. We’re done here. You’ll hear from us soon. Dr. Kate, I’ll tell John you said hello. Jenesis, nice meeting you…and you, too, husband.” He smiled at me with that sexy smile and gave Michael a not-so-friendly look. He strolled out of the office rolling his suitcase like he was worth a million dollars. Karen stared at him as he winked at her and smiled. She shook her head laughing, then walked in.
“Should I serve the food now?” she asked. We all stared at her.
“I’m starving. I’m eating for two.” I said.
“Me, too.” Kate smiled but still had tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Coffee please.” Joe shouted.
“Pancakes? Blueberry pancakes?” Michael asked. We sat together eating in an awkward silence until Joe spoke.
“Thank you, Jenesis and Michael. I hope we can move on from here.” I took a bite of my blueberry pancakes then I placed some more on my fork and fed it to Michael. He opened his mouth and chewed in delight then he puckered his lips and kissed me. Michael nodded his head at Joe and Kate began to cry. Joe held her in his arms and she held onto his neck. I felt so bad for her, I couldn’t understand what she was feeling, but I knew she was hurting.
“Well, thank you for the food. It was delicious, but we have to get going.” I wiped my mouth with the napkin and belched quietly. I guess the baby didn’t like the blueberry pancakes. It gave me a little heart burn.
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“We’ll be in touch.” Joe answered. Michael and I waved as Joe held Kate who was still sobbing. I was relieved to leave at that moment. I was getting upset. I felt so terrible that she was crying. We passed by Karen and waved good-bye. We walked towards the elevator, and Michael pressed the down button. We stared at each other through the mirrors and held hands like two teenagers. He placed his hand on my stomach, then the mirrored doors opened.
“I’m not going into work today. I have other things I’d like to do…are you up for it?” He smiled at me with that devilish grin that gets me hot in zero to sixty. I grabbed his ass in the elevator and pulled the red stop button.
“I can’t imagine my life without being inside of you…I want you…I need you…now.” he grabbed my face with his hands gently. “Take off your pants…”
“What? There are cameras in here.” I whispered.
“Do it, Jenesis, now.” he demanded. He took off his suit jacket and covered me with it. “Slide your panties to the side.” he dropped his pants and boxers and grabbed me by my waist and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he positioned himself and slid his hot, throbbing manhood slowly into me. I moaned with pleasure against his ear and he pushed himself inside of me deeper. The slow rhythm of his hips was intoxicating and I pushed myself onto him as he filled me completely. He was slowly tearing into me, his length, his thickness; his hands all over me, not missing one curve on my body, his fingers pressing into all of the right places. His touch captivated me, like a bolt of lightning, igniting that fire between my legs that only he can start…and finish. I could feel myself getting ready to shatter and the moans that escaped his beautiful lips meant he was getting ready, too. His tongue gently massaged mine, playing tug of war to see who could swallow who first. He pulled away from my lips for a moment.
“Oh God, baby, you feel so fucking good.” he whispered against my lips.
“I can’t hold it Michael, I’m going to…” He grabbed my ass hard, fingers digging deep into my cheeks, giving me the ride of my life as he thrust into me faster. I couldn’t breathe, the feeling was unrelenting and I was going to explode at any moment.