Harlequin Blaze 51: Take Me

by Cherry Adair

  "Oh my God, Joshua! You can't come in here!" Jessie looked up from where she leaned against the vanity counter, a damp tissue at her throat. Her color was back, and she had fixed her hair and applied lipstick.

  "You've been in here for hours." The carpet felt plush underfoot as he walked toward her, his gaze fixed on her face. The room smelled of woman. Combined perfumes and powders, silks and furs, the lighting flatteringly muted.

  Jessie met him halfway, slipping her hand into his. "Thank you for coming to find me." Her eyes danced. "Is the coast clear out there? Can we go and see the last act?"

  "You don't want to go home to bed?" Joshua pushed open the door, ignoring the stares as he ushered Jessie across the lobby and upstairs.

  "Nah. I feel great I was just a little wonky for a minute."

  Joshua settled in his seat beside her just as the opening bar of music began. He took her hand, placing it against his knee. He inhaled deeply her scent of fresh peach and Joy. "I'm sorry she took those shots at you."

  "They didn't bother me," Jessie assured him. "I feel sorry for her. Anyone that mean must be very unhappy."

  Joshua closed his eyes as the music swelled in time with his heart. Only Jessie could feel sorry for a woman like Stacie. Bringing their clasped hands to his chest, Joshua leaned back to enjoy the rest of the play, Jessie's hand against his heart.

  His biggest concern right now was Jessie's health. These weak spells were happening with alarming regularity. He didn't like Jessie being sick. Tomorrow he would insist she see a specialist.

  On the way home, she dozed contentedly beside him in the car. But when he was about to take his freeway exit, she'd asked sleepily to be taken to her cottage instead. He could tell that, although she was no longer pale, she was distracted.

  He insisted on going upstairs with her, because he wanted to make sure she was really fine. They made love with slow, delicious languor and fell asleep in each other's arms.

  Joshua was rudely jerked awake by Jessie's alarm clock. She mumbled in her sleep as he dressed and let himself out.

  It was icy cold and pitch-dark, as he climbed into the car and stuck the key in the ignition. Damn. The engine turned over, loud in the absolute silence. He rested his hands on the top of the steering wheel and stared back at the dark windows of her cottage, imagining Jessie snuggled deep amid her blankets, sleeping securely the whole night through in her own bed.

  He felt… cheap.

  He glanced at the clock on the dash then started to laugh.

  It was 3:00 a.m.

  * * * * *

  They flew to Tahoe for a few days. The weather was cold and sharply crisp. While Jessie cooked a roast, Joshua sat in the kitchen. She smiled as he meticulously folded linen napkins and stuffed them into the little copper napkin rings she'd brought with her.

  Jessie opened the oven to baste the meat. The house was already filled with the mouthwatering scents of the meal.

  Joshua, finished with the table, poured two glasses of wine. He set hers on the counter where she'd been cutting the lattice for an apple pie. "I'm starving," he complained, tying a towel around her waist. Jessie couldn't see the point: she was already covered practically from head to toe with flour.

  "Take the roast out so it can rest, then we can eat." She waited until he'd set the heavy pan on the counter before saying casually, "How do you feel about Thanksgiving?"

  His eyebrows rose. "Thanksgiving?"

  "Yes. The holiday that comes in November?"

  He smiled indulgently. "I don't care, one way or the other. Why?"

  "I love Thanksgiving. Can we come up here for it?"

  "Sure. I don't see why not."

  She'd never cooked a turkey in her life. Jessie mentally started planning. She wanted the holiday to be perfect There would be turkey, pies… This Thanksgiving had to be Joshua's best. She wanted to give him good holiday memories to store up.

  The roast leg of lamb turned out perfectly, moist and tender, the potatoes fluffy and the carrots glazed to perfection.

  Joshua laughed. "You are the only woman I know who sounds as if she's having sex when she's eating."

  She loved seeing him so completely relaxed. He was wearing the jeans she'd bought him last time and a fisherman knit sweater that did very nice things to his shoulders. "I love holidays." She felt warm and dreamy and so content she could melt.

  After being told to take her wine into the living room, she lounged in front of the fire while Joshua cleaned up the kitchen. He came and sat on the other end of the sofa, pulling her feet into his lap. He massaged her toes through her thick, wool socks.

  "When I was a kid," she said, watching the fire spark and leap in the stone fireplace, "I had a scrapbook. I'd look for food pictures and holiday pictures and paste them into my special book. I loved the pictures of families the best. You know the ones? Happy moms and kids eating Campbell's soup in a big country kitchen."

  He stopped kneading. "What happened to the book?"

  She felt herself blush. "I still have it. Silly, huh?"

  "No." His voice sounded rough, and she turned her head to look at him. "It's damn sad. Why have you never married and had the family you so obviously want, Jessie?"

  Tell him, she thought. Oh God, this was the perfect opportunity to tell him. The words gathered and dispersed in her mind. All the food coupled with wine and the warmth of the fire had dulled her brain. The moment passed.

  "I fell in love with the wrong knight."

  "How old were you?"

  "Twenty-one."

  "Did he break your heart forever?" he asked roughly, setting her feet aside so he could throw more logs into the already roaring fire. She watched the sweater stretch over his broad shoulders and the way the jeans lovingly cupped his behind.

  "At the time I thought so." I had no idea how much worse it could get.

  "I never thought such a thing as love really existed." He picked up her feet, pulling off her socks. He tossed them on the floor. His hands, big and warm closed over her bare toes. "It hardly seems worth the risk of a broken heart."

  "What you get from love is greater than the risk of never loving at all." She would have this year to remember for the rest of her life.

  "If you get to know someone too well, you can see all their faults and failings." He stared into the orange flames, his jaw set. Outside, the darkness pressed against the windows, cocooning them in a suddenly very small world.

  "Or you can learn to care?" she said softly.

  He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I despise anyone weak."

  "Perhaps they were just human?" Who was he talking about? Stacie? His mother?

  A muscle jumped in his jaw. "My father saw me as weak."

  "You were weak, Joshua," Jessie said softly. "You were a child."

  "The thought of being that weak again terrifies me." He said it like a grim confession. Jessie's heart ached for him.

  "Love makes people strong, Joshua. The love of a mother for a child, or a man for a woman. We all need someone to care about us. We all try to attain that special place where we feel loved and safe."

  "People are exactly where they want to be." His eyes appeared particularly pale as he turned to her. "The choices we all make lead us to where we are at any given time. If a person doesn't like where they are then they should make different choices, shouldn't they, Jessie?"

  "I suppose so," she answered drowsily. She'd certainly made a series of bad choices. His logic seemed rather convoluted, but then she was almost asleep.

  A log popped. Joshua's fingers kneaded her instep. Jessie floated in a warm haze.

  "Let's have a party when we get back," Joshua said out of the blue.

  "Mmm, okay."

  "I want a big party, Jessie. We'll invite everyone we know. You can boss around the caterers and staff to your heart's content." Jessie felt a small smile curve her mouth.

  "Like parties suddenly?" she asked around a yawn. She thought he hated parties.

  "This one wi
ll be spectacular."

  "Joshua," she said, on the precipice of sleep. "Why are you having a party?"

  * * * * *

  OCTOBER

  "Good timing. I just woke up from a nap. Oh goodie, chocolate." Jessie reached for a cookie off the Spode plate. Archie and Conrad had arrived unannounced at the cottage bearing chocolate chip cookies. She'd led them into her small kitchen overlooking the vegetable garden.

  Jessie absently coiled her hair in a knot and secured it off her neck with a pencil while the two men exchanged a glance over her head.

  "What did the doctor say?" Conrad demanded.

  "How are arrangements going for the party tomorrow?" Archie asked at the same time. He handed Jessie a paper towel, shooting Conrad a narrow look.

  "Great." She poured them coffee and herself a glass of water. "I love bossing people around. I've found I have a real knack for it." She sat down and took another bite of her cookie. "In fact, I'm going over there in a couple of hours to check on things and have dinner with Joshua. It's so sweet of him to have a party to show off the house."

  "Yeah," Conrad said dryly. "Sweet."

  "Well, it is."

  "He's proud of the job you did," Archie pointed out. "Your work has been getting better and better, Jess. He wants to showcase your talent."

  "What a nice thing to say." She licked chocolate off her thumb as the two men lapsed into a rather loud silence. Jessie sighed. "I have good news and I have… other news."

  "What's the good news?" Conrad crossed his feet before snagging a cookie he didn't really want.

  "The good news is… I'm glad you think my talents are improving 'cause I'll be coming back to work full-time… soon." It was pretty weak, but, after all, this was just the dress rehearsal. Right now she felt as if she were in the hot seat as two sets of eyes bored into the center of her forehead.

  "Well?" Archie prodded when she didn't say anything for a few moments.

  "The other news is… I'm pregnant." Jessie looked from one to the other. "And don't either of you say I told you so," she warned as they exchanged glances.

  "I thought you were using birth control now."

  Jessie pulled a wry face. "Most of the time in the last few months, yes."

  "It's supposed to be used every time," Conrad pointed out unnecessarily,

  "Sometimes there was no time."

  "Oh, please don't!" Conrad rolled his eyes.

  "Oh, well, another little thing gone awry with life," Archie said drolly, patting her hand. She gave him a smile.

  "You don't consider that bad news?" Conrad dropped his feet to the floor, leaned his elbows on the table and scowled.

  "Nope." Jessie bit into another cookie.

  "Then why have you been biting your nails?"

  "Tonight I'm going to tell Joshua everything—"

  "Everything?" Archie's eyebrows rose.

  "Everything." Jessie rose to stand by the window. The garden looked sad and gloomy in the half-light. Most of the trees were bare and there weren't many, flowers. She had to try to remember that after winter, came spring. No matter what "Oh, God. What a mess. I'm ecstatic about the baby. Thrilled. Over the moon. But I'm terrified of Joshua's reaction."

  "Isn't that a little like the thief that's sorry after he's caught?" Conrad asked soberly.

  "I wasn't caught." Jessie chewed her thumbnail. "I really thought I could pull this off, but you guys were right." She leaned back against the windowsill, braced by her arms. She wore her fluffy pink robe but her feet were bare, and cold, on the vinyl floor. She shivered.

  "I should have been up front from the beginning. I thought I'd get pregnant faster. I never planned on this." She swallowed the lump in her throat with difficulty before she managed to tell them both what they knew already. "All I've done is fall more deeply in love with Joshua." She sighed. "This is going to cut what little time we had left short. Finding out he's about to become a father won't send him dancing through the streets in celebration."

  She pushed away from the window, crossed back to sit at the table and pulled her feet up beneath her. She wrapped her arms around her knees.

  "The game was fine when it was just the two of us. But I'm not going to play games with our baby. I can't lie by omission anymore. Besides—" she rested her chin on her knees "—how can I expect Joshua to make a rational decision about us when he doesn't know all the facts?"

  "He'll be furious," Archie warned.

  "I know," Jessie said calmly. "But I still have to tell him."

  * * * * *

  Joshua walked into the dining room and surveyed it with a critical eye. The table was elegantly draped with a pale-pink damask tablecloth, the delicate cream-and-blush colored roses had been part of Jessie's order from South America for the party tomorrow night. China and silver gleamed. Stemware sparkled.

  He swallowed the dryness in his throat as he checked his pocket for perhaps the twentieth time in the past half hour. God, he was as nervous as a schoolboy. He smiled self-consciously as he walked back down the hall into his den and poured himself a stiff drink.

  Jessie was magic. His talisman against the cold loneliness he'd let fill his life. Jessie was warmth and laughter. She made him believe he really mattered to her. She made him believe she knew a part of him no one else had ever seen. She was soft and loving, and so open and honest with her feelings; it was like looking into a crystal-clear mountain pool.

  Joshua sank into his favorite chair. In the gathering darkness he could see part of the curving driveway from the mullioned windows in his den. He'd be able to see Jessie's little red car as she approached the house.

  Jessie with her sparkling brown eyes and throaty laugh. Jessie with her electric hair. Jessie with her long, slender dancer's body. She had that sensuous way of moving that always made him want her.

  If what he had with Jessie was just good sex, it would have been easy to dismiss. He'd had good sex before. But with Jessie even the sex was different. As much as he'd tried to deny it, Jessie was right It was lovemaking. It was glorious, blow-the-top-of-your-head-off great. But there was more. There was her humor, her intelligence, her honesty and integrity. With Jessie he had learned to relax, smell the flowers. And finally, in a small measure, Joshua had to admit he'd learned to trust.

  He suddenly wished he had married half a dozen times, because with Jessie he wanted everything to be perfect. If he'd tried a real marriage before, he'd have the bugs worked out by now.

  He rolled up the sleeves of his blue-and-white striped dress shirt then rolled them down again. Was he too dressed up? Was he too stuffy? Should he wear the jeans she'd bought him? Christ, this was ridiculous—he'd already changed twice. He laughed out loud, ridiculously happy.

  Jessie would be home soon. They would have a drink, go through to dinner, and after the staff served dessert, he would take the little box out of his pocket. Joshua closed his eyes, leaning back in the big leather chair as he imagined the look on Jessie's face when she saw the ring. She'd get that sexy little twinkle in her glorious eyes, probably jump up and fling herself at him… Joshua lost himself in pleasant daydreams.

  He hadn't heard her car but he heard the front door open. Heard Jessie's high heels on the marble, the wood, the carpet.

  He opened his eyes. God, she looked glorious in a royal-blue wool dress and high-heeled black suede boots. She tossed the dark coat she carried onto a chair by the door.

  Her hair was curled wildly from the wind, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright. Without a word she crossed the room and settled herself on his lap, curling her arms about his neck, the sweet curve of her butt nestled against him. She smelled of fresh peaches as she raised her mouth to his.

  "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" she said in a Mae West drawl.

  Joshua laughed, burying his hands in her hair. It was still a little damp and smelled of peach shampoo. He crushed her mouth with a bruising kiss, plumbing the depths as she relaxed against his chest. Her fingers curled arou
nd his open collar, holding on for dear life.

  "God, Jess," he managed to moan before she lowered her head again.

  "We have to talk," Jessie said against his throat. She sounded reluctant. He ran his hand down the soft wool covering her back.

  They were going to have a lifetime to talk. "After dinner. How do I get into this thing?" Her skin was warm as he slowly lowered the zipper down her back, detouring to unclasp her bra on the way down.

  After Joshua had peeled away the dress, Jessie stood so it could fall unnoticed to the floor. She looked seductive in tiny bikini briefs and black boots. He slid his hands up her thighs to her hips, drawing her close for another kiss.

  She yelped when he swung her up in his arms. With one swipe, he cleared his big burl desk, laying her down on the cool leather surface.

  "This feels very naughty." Her voice was husky, her eyes alive, the lights in them dancing. The heels of her boots tapped on the face of the desk.

  "You're overdressed." He pulled the small damp strip of satin down her smooth legs. Jessie sprawled bonelessly, her breath uneven.

  He dropped the fragrant scrap to the carpet, running his hands up the flexing muscles of her long legs. And he laughed hoarsely when she said in a lazy drawl, "Glad you got rid of that. No wonder I was so hot."

  She watched him through heavy-lidded eyes as he stripped off the shirt he'd so carefully put on. Her eyes grew lambent, her knees flexed, as he kicked off his shoes and dragged socks and slacks off in two swift jerks.

  He'd wanted it to last. He'd wanted to linger over each delectable soft inch. Showing her how much he wanted her. Loving her until she was too weak to refuse him anything. But the moment he plunged into her tight, slick warmth, the moment he felt the rough suede of her boot-clad legs wrap about his flanks, he was lost.

  Their climax was immediate and turbulent, leaving him stretched across her body, his face pressed against her damp neck.