Shape Of Love

  “No,” Kristy murmured. “It's fine.”

  She grinned and coyly avoided Sam's eyes. She loved flirting with him so much.

  “Were you fixing yourself for me?” Sam whispered.

  Looking up into his eyes, Kristy bit her lip and nodded.

  Sam brought his head from left ton right, slowly and purposefully.

  “I'm flattered,” he said quietly. “I really really am, but you don't have to do all that for me. Not if you don't want to. You're beautiful and the most wonderful thing I've ever laid eyes on, no matter how much time you spend getting ready.”

  Kristy parted her lips, and then leaning forward she whispered huskily into his ear.

  “I do want to. I want to look pretty for you.”

  Sam laughed and clamped an arm around Kristy's waist.

  Kristy squealed as Sam lifted her from the stoop. Her placed his other arm beneath her legs and pulled her easily into his arms.

  Kristy clung to his thick, muscled arms and giggled.

  “Sam!” she cried out. “You are too much! Way too much! Stop showing off your ripped gym body!”

  Sam carried her down the steps and continued down the sidewalk.

  “Ripped, huh?” he asked tauntingly. “You think I have a 'ripped gym body'?”

  Kristy swatted him playfully on the arm.

  “Oh knock it off Mr. Man. You know that you do!”

  “Really?” Sam asked, playfully.

  He darted down to plant a quick kiss upon Kristy's lips, before depositing her into the side of an idle cab.

  “Sam! We're not taking a cab all the way to Long Island are we?”

  Sam swooped down, sliding into the cab beside her.

  “Thanks for waiting, man,” Sam said to the cab driver.

  The older gentleman in the driver's seat nodded, and gave his reply in a thick Greek accent.

  “No problem. We'll take the bridge. Probably be about forty minutes. A lot of traffic today. It's nothing but a wall of cars from fifth to fifteenth.”

  “Oh yeah?” Sam answered. “Traffic must make your job really tough. I don't know how you drive around New York City all day. Some days I get agitated just walking across town.”

  The cab driver laughed and at a break in traffic pulled away from the curb.

  “Sam,” Kristy hissed in a whisper. “We can't take a cab all the way to Long Island. I thought we were gonna take the train? I'm totally fine taking the train.”

  Sam waved a hand dismissively.

  “Don't worry about it.”

  “But this will cost you a fortune,” Kristy insisted.

  Sam pulled Kristy in close to his side. Kristy felt the familiar flood of heat to her cheeks and giddiness to her gut, as Sam's body pressed against her own.

  “It's really okay, baby,” Sam whispered.

  Kristy shivered at the sensation of Sam's breath against her skin, tickling her ear and the sensitive slope of her neck.

  “I just want today to be really special,” Sam said. “I want everything today to be perfect.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sam felt himself tense as the cab pulled to a stop in front of his parents house. It was still so strange visiting them here. They'd only moved here about six months back, and Sam knew that the only reason why they'd done it was to be closer to him. To try and repair their damaged and fragile relationship with him. They were making an effort and Sam knew that he should be grateful. But it was odd. It was such a large gesture for such small people. That was the way that Brad had described them. Small. Sam loved his parents but he didn't disagree. They were small, but at least they tried to be big.

  Sam paid the cab driver and then he and Kristy made their way across the lawn. Sam smiled as he noticed Kristy pat her hair and smooth out the edges of her dress. It was so cute the way she was nervous. They way she wanted his parents to like her. Sam knew that meant that she must really like him. Maybe she would even want to be his girlfriend...

  Sam rang the bell and shifted anxiously between his feet as he waited for an answer.

  A moment later, the door swished open to reveal a middle-aged woman with vivid burgundy hair.

  “Sam!” she exclaimed, and then she stepped out onto the porch wrapping Sam in an exuberant hug. “Oh Sam! It is so wonderful to see you, and this must be your friend.”

  “Hi!” Kristy said with a shy wave. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. George.”

  “Nope, none of that!” Sam's mother laughed. “Call me Beverly. Please, I insist.”

  “Okay,” Kristy said.

  Sam took Kristy's hand and followed his mother inside.

  They passed through the sparse living room and made their way into the dining room. It was unpainted and piles of boxes decorated the corners of the room.

  “Excuse the mess, please,” Beverly gushed. “We haven't lived here all that long and we're still getting acclimated, I'm afraid.”

  “Oh, no worries,” Kristy replied. “Moving can be such a pain. It's so nice of you to have us over while you're still in the middle of getting settled.”

  “Oh, of course,” Beverly cooed. “Here, sit down. I'll get Albert and we can grab some grub.”

  Beverly left the room, and Sam turned to Kristy. He squeezed her hand and gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Just as they were setting themselves down, Beverly came back, this time with a gray-haired man at her side.

  “Hey Dad,” Sam said.

  Sam's father grunted and took a seat on the opposite side of the table, across from Sam. Moments later, Beverly placed a dish of ziti in the center of the table and then took a seat beside her husband. She was directly across from Kristy.

  Beverly began to dole out portions onto each of their four plates, and Sam cleared his throat, struggling to come up with something to say to his father. His father was always so quiet and hard to talk to. Not to mention the recent strain in their relationship, and the fact that the two of them had never had anything in common.

  “So Dad, how are you and Mom liking Long Island?”

  Sam's father coughed and shrugged.

  “Fine, I suppose. It's better than being in the city at least.”

  Sam tapped his foot and took a bite of his food.

  “Do you miss Ohio?” Kristy asked.

  Sam watched his father look Kristy up and down. It was the first time since entering the room that he'd paid any notice to her. Sam hated that about his father, the way he made everyone feel so insignificant. Sam didn't want him to make Kristy feel that way.

  Finally the old man answered her.

  “Yes,” he said simply. “We lived in Ohio for a long time.”

  Sam felt Kristy shift nervously beside him. He wished that he could do something to ease her anxiety. He wished that there was some discreet way to communicate to her that she needn't care what this man thought. Sam loved his father, yes. But Brad was right. The man was small.

  “So, what are you studying, Kristy?” Sam's mother asked. Sam felt a wave of gratitude then. At least one of his parents had the ability to be talkative and welcoming.

  “Art History,” Kristy replied with a smile.

  Sam's mother gave a tense smile and Sam's father snorted rudely.

  “Art History?” he snapped. “So, then I guess what you want to be when you grow up, is unemployed?”

  “Dad! Don't be rude!” Sam hissed.

  Kristy shook her head.

  “It's fine, Sam,” she muttered. But Sam could see from the way that her body tensed and her fingers tapped, that it wasn't fine. His father had bothered her. He had struck some sort of a chord with her, and now she was upset. Sam felt himself becoming queasy. Only five minutes into the meal and already they were having problems.

  “So, Beverly,” Kristy plowed on with a new tightness in her voice. “What brought you and Mr. Georges out to Long Island? Did you just want to be closer to Sam?”

  “Oh, I'm surprised that Sam didn't talk to you about it.”

  Beverly narrowed h
er eyes then.

  “We've been having a bit of a rough time in this family,” Beverly continued. “Ever since Sandra decided that she was a Sam.”

  Kristy dropped her fork.

  “Oh wow,” Kristy muttered, with a degree of forced tact. “So then...are you both supportive of his decision?”

  Beverly gave a tart laugh and shrugged, while Albert remained hunched over, continuing to shovel food into his face.

  “We have to be supportive of it, don't we? What about you, dear? Is it odd being with a man who's really a woman?”

  Sam watched as Kristy's face changed. It became something that he hadn't ever seen in Kristy. Enraged.

  “He's not 'really' a woman,” Kristy spat. She accompanied the gesture with a set of angry air quotes. “He's not really a woman, anymore than I'm really a man.”

  “It's not the same,” Albert interjected with an air of irritation. “You have all the parts you were born with and she...sorry..he doesn't.”

  Kristy gave a tight laugh and rose from the table, slamming her chair back against the wall.

  “I don't actually,” she retorted. “I'm trans too.”

  “What?” Albert cried. “Oh, you two have got to be kidding me with this. Two trans people together is like a freaking circus show. Couldn't you each just keep the genders you were given? Was the trading really necessary?”

  “Dad! Knock it off!” Sam dropped his fork to the plate with a clatter. “I'm so sorry, Kristy let's go.”

  Kristy spun on her heel and marched out. Sam followed, experiencing a frenetic flurry of emotions. He was embarrassed by his father's behavior. He was angry that the same old, ignorant conversations were still being regurgitated in his house.

  But more than any of that, he was proud of the woman that he was with. He was proud and grateful and falling so in love with her and so quickly.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Holy Cow!” Lizette exclaimed. “I can't believe that there was that much drama. Listen, Sam is great, but his parents are total tools. You know that right?”

  Kristy sighed and nodded.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I do, and I'm not gonna let it get to me. I mean, once I'm done being pissed I won't let them get to me. Right now I'm just freaking livid.”

  “Anybody would be,” Lizette replied. “They treated you horribly. Geez, they treated their own kid horribly. Why does it matter what gender a person wants to express? Like just let people live and be who they are...aghhh! Ignorance like that pisses me off a lot.”

  “Me too,” Kristy said. “It just really sucks. I don't think that me and Sam are gonna be able to spend time with his parents again. They really didn't like that we were both trans. It weirded them out a lot.”

  Lizette rolled her eyes.

  “Such a ridiculous thing to be mad about,” Lizette said. “They should just be happy that their son has someone who loves him and cares about him.”

  “Yeah...oh hold on...” Kristy said. She crossed the living room and snatched her cell phone from the kitchen table, where it lay vibrating against the wood.

  Kristy lifted the phone to her ear, after reading the name displayed on the screen.

  “Hello? Sam?”

  There was a silence for a moment and then a voice that she couldn't quite place, but one that was still vaguely familiar.

  “No, uh, this isn't Sam. Listen, Kristy could you get over to Beth Israel hospital? This is Brad. We met at that party a few weeks back. It's just Sam's...he's uh, had an accident.”

  Kristy felt her heart begin to race and her head began to feel light and disjointed.

  “What happened?” she cried. “Is Sam alright? Is he gonna be okay?”

  “It's ah...”

  Brad was quiet for a moment and Kristy's heart hammered away as she distinguished the sound of muted sniffling from Brad's end of the phone, as if Brad had been crying, or was trying not to.

  “Brad! Tell me what's going on!” Kristy cried.

  Lizette rushed to her side. She stood in front of Kristy, wearing an expression of alarm and concern.

  “Brad, is he okay?”

  Kristy heard her voice waver and then crack, as tears threatened to overtake her.

  “Kristy,” Brad whispered. “He's hurt pretty bad, but I don't know everything yet. He's still in surgery-”

  “Surgery!”

  “He was attacked. The police think it was a hate crime. Some amped up tourists from New Hampshire.”

  “Did the police catch them?” Kristy asked.

  “Yeah,” Brad said. “They did. Just get down here, please. I'm really worried and I'd like to have someone else here who cares about Sam.”

  “Yes,” Kristy said. “I'm coming now. I'll call Sam's phone when I get there.”

  “Okay,” Brad agreed.

  The second she hung up the phone, Lizette was all over her.

  “Kristy, what happened to Sam?”

  Kristy began to cry.

  “He's been attacked. Some sort of a hate crime. Someone must have known that he was trans.”

  Lizette blinked and shook her head.

  “I can't believe this.”

  Kristy rushed about the apartment, collecting her purse and keys, and shoving her feet into a pair of sneakers in the hall. She wasn't even sure that they were hers.

  “Kristy, hold on,” Lizette said. “I'm coming with you.”

  “Right. Right. Okay.”

  “My car is still in the shop though!” Lizette groaned. “Crap, we're gonna have to catch a cab.”

  The two of them rushed out of the complex and out onto the sidewalk. In her haste, Kristy nearly forgot to lock the front door and had to turn back.

  Lizette flung her arms outwards and waved frantically at a passing taxi. Kristy said a small prayer of thanks, as the cab saw Lizette, and pulled over to the curb.

  Once they were on the way, Kristy's tears really began to let loose, falling in torrents from her eyes. Kristy clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs. She clung to Lizette the entire way to the hospital.

  Chapter Sixteen

  When they reached the hospital, Kristy leaped out of the cab. As she burst into the emergency room, it occurred to her momentarily that she had rudely left Lizette to pay the cab fair. This thought disappeared as her eyes found Brad, hunched over in a chair in the emergency room waiting room. His fists were clenched and buried in his hair, as he bent over staring down at his knees.

  Kristy hustled across the room, sidestepping and shimmying past several other anxiety-ridden loved ones. Kristy couldn't help but wonder how one room could house so much sorrow and angst.

  Kristy flung herself down in the seat next to Brad.

  “Brad? How is he? Have you heard anything?”

  Brad looked up and shook his head sadly.

  “Not yet,” he said. “Listen Kristy, he's in really bad shape. They knocked him down to the pavement and he hit his head pretty hard on the concrete. They called me because I'm his emergency contact, but the ambulance got stuck in freaking downtown traffic..Anyway, I was here before the ambulance got here. So, I was here when Sam was wheeled in. His whole head was bleeding..”

  Kristy gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She shook her head vigorously, as if trying to shake away the image that had just been described to her.

  “Man, I hope he's gonna be alright,” Brad blinked away a series of tears.

  Kristy put a hand on Brad forearm and gave him a gentle squeeze.

  “Let's just wait and see what happens,” she said thickly. “There's no reason to get all worked up now, before we even know what's going on.”

  “I know,” Brad said. “You're right. It's just hard not to worry.”

  “I get it,” Kristy said. “I'm trying so hard not to have a panic attack right now, and it's barely working.”

  Lizette hurried into the waiting room then. She quickly spotted Brad and Kristy and hurried over, taking a set on the opposite side of Brad.

  “Brad, h
ey,” she said. “How you holding up? Any word on Sam yet?”

  Brad shook his head and groaned.

  “No, It's only bit a little over an hour, but I'm going nuts. I really want to know what's going on.”

  “Maybe we could ask one of the nurse, over there?” Lizette supplied hopefully. She pointed to the glass window where several nurses sat talking and completing paperwork.

  “No,” Brad said, dejectedly. “Don't bug those guys. My dad is an ER nurse and he's always going on about how he wishes he could help the families of the patients more. Basically, the reception nurses don't know what's going on until the doctor comes out to talk to us. There's no point in distracting and irritating them.”

  Lizette nodded and Kristy began to nervously fiddle with the items in her clutch.

  The wait stretched on. Ten minutes, became twenty, became thirty, became an hour. That hour quickly doubled, and Kristy found that she did not grow calmer as more time passed. She only grew more uneasy, feeling sure that the lengthy wait must be a bad sign. Sam must be very badly hurt. Kristy couldn't think of any reason why the doctors would take so long to come and give them an update.

  Kristy began to aimlessly scroll through her phone. Buzzfeed quizzes and Huffington Post articles flashed in front of her, but Kristy wasn't really reading any of it. It was almost a distraction but not quite. She could occupy her hands, but her mind would not follow.

  Finally, after hours of waiting, and having watched several other patients come and go, a doctor came into the waiting room. She looked around the waiting room.

  “Sam Georges?” she called out. “I'm looking for the family of Sam George.”

  Kristy, Brad, and Lizette all stood, almost in unison. They hurried over to the doctor.

  “Yes,” Brad said, absentmindedly extending a hand to shake the doctor's hand. It was an automatic gesture, something done without even the pretense of thought.

  “Is he okay?” Brad asked.

  Kristy chewed her lip, as she waited for the doctor's response. The doctor frowned, looking down at her clipboard. It occurred to Kristy that the doctor had most likely, just been with Sam and there wasn't any reason that she should need to glance down at the clipboard. No, she was doing it as an excuse to look away. She was giving herself a few extra seconds. She was going to give them bad news.