Shape Of Love

  Sam gave a nervous laugh.

  “That was weird to say. Sorry. But yeah...that is my deal.”

  Kristy's face appeared to be frozen in shock. Her eyebrows had risen halfway up her forehead and her mouth was still hanging open.

  “Please say something,” Sam pleaded. “I just want to know what you think about all this.”

  Kristy laughed and shook her head.

  “I have no idea what to say. It's just...this is the most incredible coincidence that's ever happened.”

  “What do you mean?” Sam asked.

  “I'm trans too!” Kristy exclaimed, tossing both hands into the air.

  “Oh, don't make jokes,” Sam muttered.

  “No, really!” Kristy insisted. “I'm not kidding. I'm trans too. I was identified as a male at birth. I transitioned a couple of years ago. I always knew I was a girl.”

  “Wow!”

  Sam slumped back in his seat and looked up at the train's ceiling.

  “This is amazing...and yeah, like you said Kristy, this is probably the most incredible coincidence that has ever happened.”

  Kristy shrugged.

  “Than again, maybe not,” she said. “Maybe we could see it in each other. Even if we couldn't necessarily see that the other was trans, maybe we could just sense that we had something really important in common. Maybe we were just drawn to each other because we could see that we shared something...I don't know. That might be dumb..”

  “No, that's not dumb at all,” Sam said. “I think that you're on to something. It's just way too nuts that we're both trans. Literally has never happened to me before.”

  Kristy laughed.

  “Yeah, me either,” she agreed. “I mean, I've met other trans people, especially since I moved here to New York City, but I've never been on a date with another trans person.”

  Their eyes locked and for a moment all was still. Neither of them said anything. Neither seemed to even breathe. And then they each lunged forward. Sam wrapped his arms around Kristy's waist and Kristy forcefully grabbed each of Sam's shoulder's, digging her nails in as their lips met with force and vigor.

  Sam felt a surge of longing overtake him as Kristy gasped. She kept her lips against his as she did so. As if the action had been completely involuntary on her part. Sam pulled her in closer, using the forearm that perfectly encircled her slight waist. He tugged until her was nearly on his lap. Her hair fell over her face and flicked at his shoulders. Her knees dug into his thighs.

  Kristy's lips were soft against his own. Sam pushed back into her, crushing his lips into hers. Tasting her mouth and reveling in the feeling of her body against his.

  Their lips continued to crush and caress each other. Moving in a rhythm that was somehow in sync, but also contrasting to the other. The rhythm was steady and heated.

  When they parted, Sam's head felt light. Kristy was struggling to catch her breath. She was nearly panting and her cheeks were flushed. She blinked and looked away self-consciously, bringing a hand up to her hair in an attempt to smooth and steady herself.

  Sam chuckled.

  “So, I guess my being trans isn't an issue for you?”

  Kristy giggled.

  “No,” she said. “I would say that it's not. Is it fair for me to assume that my being trans isn't an issue for you?”

  “Of course not, babe,” Sam replied quietly. He brought a hand to Kristy's face and lightly traced her jawline with his fingertip. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

  Kristy closed her eyes and nodded.

  “Yeah,” she replied. “I just didn't picture it going this way at all. Very unexpected. Very...just incredible.”

  Sam flashed a grin.

  “You're incredible.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Kristy didn't think that she'd ever felt so light. She followed Sam into the Metropolitan, feeling as though she could float right off the ground. Sam paid at the desk and handed Kristy her ticket.

  “Alright, which way should we go?” Sam asked.

  “Alright, we need to get over to the Art of Europe section. Love those Dutch still-lifes. But first we should go see the Art of Africa and Art of Oceania. It's right over here..”

  Kristy took the lead, taking a left and walking briskly towards the Art of Africa room. She reached back and grabbed Sam's hand to pull him along.

  Sam chuckled.

  “Slow down lady! We've got hours.”

  “I'm just really excited,” Kristy said with a smile. “No one else ever wants to come here with me. Lizette came once to be nice, but I could tell that she was really bored.”

  “Not her thing?”

  “No, it's not for her. I mean, it's okay if it's not your thing either. I'm glad that you wanted to come.”

  Sam gave Kristy's hand a squeeze.

  “I'm gonna love it because you do.”

  Kristy felt heat flood into her cheeks once more. It seemed that Sam could make her blush so easily.

  “Here it is,” Kristy exclaimed as they entered the room. “Just look at how big and vibrant all of the pieces are! Oh! That one!”

  Kristy pointed up at the ceiling. There was an intricate wooden display that covered nearly the whole of it. Kristy was always awed by this piece. It must be twenty times larger than the whole floor of her apartment. It appeared to be the bottom half of a boat, turned upside down and hung from the ceiling.

  “Isn't that just amazing?” Kristy gasped.

  Sam tilted his head back, running and hand through his hair.

  “Geez! That is huge! Is it a boat?”

  “I think so,” Kristy said. “I always just love to come look at it. I don't know why. It's size is just...captivating or something. It's like...I don't know..inspiring. And it's weird to see something so huge just inside of a building.”

  “Are those carvings all over it?” Sam asked.

  “Yeah. And can you imagine how long that must have taken?”

  “Years, I bet,” Sam replied.

  They wandered around the rest of the exhibit. There were a lot of masks and large pieces of metallic jewelery. The walls displayed several photographs of people from various African tribes, facial tattoos and carvings adorning each of them. On the right side of the room, a long glass case houses a canoe fashioned together from a combination of wood and twigs. The canoe was at least twelve feet long, and seated throughout were tiny inanimate men rowing.

  After they'd seen all that the Arts of Africa and Arts of Oceania had to offer, Kristy led the way towards the Art of Europe exhibit. On the way, they stopped in the Art of Ancient Egypt exhibit. Kristy felt a twinge of giddiness as Sam left her side to walk towards a display of mummified cats. She was so glad that Sam was enjoying himself.

  “Oh wow!” Sam cried. “I remember learning about this in school! Really rich people in Egypt used to get their cats mummified too! Then their cats could go to the underworld with them.”

  “Yeah,” Kristy gushed. “And when they went to the underworld they had to have their hearts weighed by this like, alligator god or something. If it weighed too much, it meant they were evil and the alligator god would eat their heart.”

  “I loved learning about ancient Egypt in school,” Sam said with a grin. “It was probably my favorite part of eighth grade.”

  “Oh, in my school we learned about it in seventh grade.”

  Sam shrugged.

  “Different curriculum, I guess.”

  The two of them headed out of the Egypt gallery and Sam followed Kristy up a wide and expansive staircase. Once they were on the second floor, Kristy picked up her pace. She remembered a piece at the end of the hall.

  “Where are you going?” Sam laughed. “I saw a sign. Your Europe gallery is back that way.”

  “Oh, I know, but they have one fifteenth century Danse Macabre out in the hallway here. It's right outside the Art of Americas gallery.”

  “What's a Danse Macabre again?”

  “So creepy,” Kristy said,
shuffling eagerly down the hall. She was finding her heels more difficult to walk in than she'd counted on. She didn't wear heels often enough to ever really feel comfortable in them.

  “It means dance of death,” Kristy continued. “Basically, they're just super old paintings of skeletons and dead people dancing.”

  “Morbid,” Sam laughed. “So romantic too.”

  “Oh!”

  Kristy stopped and wincing she met Sam's eye.

  “Am I being weird? Is this way strange?”

  “No,” Sam said, earnestly. “I didn't mean it was a bad thing. I want to see all the paintings that you love.”

  “You sure?”

  “Absolutely. Let's see this creepy skeleton dance party.”

  “Okay.”

  Kristy grabbed Sam by the hand and skipped the rest of the way down the hall. Sam laughed and stumbled along behind.

  “Here it is,” Kristy said when they were finally standing at the opposite end of the hall. “Doesn't it just make your skin crawl, but in the most delicious way?!”

  They stood in front of a small medieval painting. It was smaller than a sheet of notebook paper. Fissures and cracks spread throughout the pain, like tiny veins or spiderwebs. Several bright white skeletons held hands as they pranced in a circle. It was like a macabre game of ring around the rosie.

  “This is freaking cool,” Sam said. “It's so dark. You have these creepy dead guys dancing around, but then the landscape is so pretty and full of life. Like look at all the flowers and birds. The sun is so bright...”

  Kristy tilted her head to look up at Sam.

  “I'm so glad you like it!” she sighed. “I'm really happy that you're having a good time.”

  “I am,” Sam whispered.

  He leaned down, pressing his lips into Kristy's. She kissed him back eagerly. His lips were so hard and firm, and yet so gentle against hers at the same time. She couldn't imagine ever growing tired of kissing him.

  Chapter Twelve

  “That's ridiculous!” Brad crowed. “Are you serious right now, man? She's trans too?”

  “She is,” Sam laughed. “You know what they say. You should date a person who has a lot in common with you.”

  “Wow..” Brad shook his head. “But I guess that's amazing. You were really stressing. Now you know that it's not a problem at all.”

  “Yeah, I'm just...I'm floored.”

  Sam yanked his tank top back on and tossed his wet towel into the hamper. Brad slammed his gym locker shut, adding to the cacophony of noise that surrounded them; the slamming of lockers, men talking and calling out to one another, and the rushing of water from the gym's showers.

  Brad and Sam finished dressing and then headed across the street to grab a smoothie.

  “I can't believe we're still coming here,” Sam laughed as they entered. “How are we not over this smoothie craze yet?”

  “Because it's not a craze anymore,” Brad replied. “Smoothies are just regular again. Juice is a craze.”

  Sam laughed.

  “How do you even know that, Brad?”

  Brad shrugged.

  “I've been seeing a lady,” he said. “She likes to talk. Like really likes to talk. But it's cool, I actually really like that about her. Anyway, she's been keeping me up to date on all the latest trends.”

  Sam quirked an eyebrow.

  “So she's been telling you all about which beverages are popular, and what else? Which Kardashians are having babies and what the latest TMZ scandal is?”

  “Exactly,” Brad said, with a smirk. “She likes all that stuff. It's weird for a computer nerd, but she's all into fashion and celebrity gossip. I don't know. It's sort of cute; that she can be really smart and really fun and easy, all at the same time.”

  Brad ordered them each a green power smoothie and then the pair found a table by the window.

  “Yum, kale,” Brad laughed.

  “Oh knock it off and drink your vegetables,” Sam quipped.

  “Ugh, I know this is really great post-workout, but it's not exactly tasty.”

  “It doesn't taste that bad,” Sam said, with a smile.

  “Hey, you gonna take Kristy out again soon?” Brad asked.

  Sam nodded.

  “I actually think that I might take her down to Long Island, this weekend.”

  Brad's eyes widened.

  “You're gonna take her to meet your folks? Seriously?”

  “Yeah,” Sam said. “I thought I might. I mean, that's what you're supposed to do with a girl that you want to make your girlfriend, right?”

  Brad furrowed his brow and nodded.

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “But, c'mon man. Your parents aren't exactly..super chill.”

  Sam frowned.

  “What does that mean?”

  “You know. They were always trying to get you to be something you weren't. The way they tried to get you to wear dresses and act like a girl..”

  Sam gave a tight smile and blinked.

  “Brad, you were the only person who ever really saw me. That stupid little town..everyone is so small there.”

  Brad nodded.

  “I know,” he said. “And I hate to tell you this Sam, but you're parents are pretty small. They don't even like that you're trans, and the both of them lost their freaking minds when you told them that you were going to transition and that you wanted to start living as a man. They just started acting normal around you again. Now that they went and decided to just pretend you've been a guy all along.”

  Sam sighed.

  “It's so messed up,” he said. “They just want to pretend that I'm not trans. They're making like I was born a guy. They don't even want me to come to family stuff anymore. When they're with friends, they just refer to me as their son that they somehow never happened to mention before, and with family, I'm not sure what their plan is. They don't want to tell any of our cousins, or my aunts and uncles. They forbid me from telling them or seeing anyone. I don't know..maybe they just need some more time to get used to me..Maybe they just need to figure out how they feel about me now, before they let the rest of the family feel any kind of way about me..”

  “But here's my point,” Brad interjected. “You're their kid, and they don't know how they feel about you. So, how do you think they're gonna feel about Kristy? Maybe you don't want to put all that strain on everything. It'll stress your parents out. It'll stress Kristy out. It'll stress you out.”

  Sam sighed.

  “Dude. Stop.”

  Brad looked down at his drink and began to fidget with his straw, twirling it in the cup of green mush.

  “I'm just trying to look out for you, guy,” Brad mumbled. “It's your life at the end of the day. So do what you're gonna do. I said my piece. I'll stay out of it now.”

  Sam shook his head.

  “Brad, you don't need to stay out of it. Look. I'm sorry, okay? I'm the one who's sorry. I know that you're just trying to look out for me. You've always been the one to look out for me, and I appreciate you. I really do.”

  Brad nodded.

  “That's what I'm here for, man.”

  “I just think that you're wrong here,” Sam said. “It's gonna be fine. My parents are trying. They've been making an effort. Also, I'm not gonna hide the fact that Kristy is trans, or ask her to hide it, but there's no reason to bring it up. There's a really good chance that it won't come up at all.”

  Brad appeared unconvinced, but still gave a small smile.

  “You're probably right, Sam. I'll bet that it turns out fine.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Kristy sat on her front steps, fussing with her skirt and adjusting the playful bow that she'd tied jauntily in her hair. She was bursting with excitement. Sam was going to arrive any moment and he was taking her to dinner at his parents house.

  Everything between them was really starting to pick up speed, and Kristy felt wonderfully jittery at the prospect of a relationship with Sam. A relationship really did seem to be where t
hey were heading. Since they'd each confessed, they'd achieved a new level of comfort with one another. An entire layer of new-relationship awkwardness seemed to have prematurely dissipated.

  Kristy felt a much deeper connection with Sam now. He had been through everything that she had. She would never have to wonder if he saw her as less than a “real woman”. Maybe now that she had Sam in her life, she could shake those horrible words from her mind. Maybe she could stop remembering that terrible date and those hurtful words.

  Sam saw her for who she was. She was Kristy; feminine, fun, smart, introspective and artistic. Kristy felt another smile begin to creep across her face. Those were the words that Sam had used to describe her. He'd sent her a very long and passionate email two nights ago. Kristy was still glowing from the pleasure she felt in hearing Sam describe her; the way that he saw her.

  Sam emailed her all the time now. Sam was easy to talk to and they were never at a loss for conversation when they were together, but it seemed that Sam had trouble expressing deeper emotions. At least, in person he did. He emailed all of his very emotional sentiments, telling Kristy who much he cared for her. How comfortable and at ease he felt around her. Documenting all of her positive and desirable qualities. Absolutely doting on her. Kristy didn't think that she had ever felt so treasured.

  Kristy reached into her heart-patterned clutch and pulled out her compact mirror. Flipping it open, she inspected her eyes and pursed her lips. She had worn a daring shade of lipstick today, a vibrant fuchsia that matched the bow in her hair. Her eyes were rimmed with a neutral beige shadow to offset the vibrancy of her lips.

  Kristy parted her lips and ran the tip of her index finger around the edge of her mouth in a last minute attempt to ensure that her lipstick line was absolutely even and smooth. She wanted to look beautiful for Sam. She wanted him to want her. She wanted to make him proud to be with her.

  “Hey gorgeous.”

  Kristy's head snapped up. Her cheeks reddened and she inadvertently brought a hand up to cover her face.

  “Oh no,” Sam laughed. “You're not getting all bashful just cause I caught you fixing your face, are you?”

  Sam held out his hands, and Kristy quickly put her compact away, before grabbing them in each of her own.