Mel’s eyes widened, and when Mitch didn’t seem inclined to say more, she asked, “What brought that on?”
“Well,” Mitch said, “I thought you might ask that. It was when I came over last night, and Aiden, bless him, was so happy to see me. And I was glad to see him, too, you know? I really miss the little tyke. So we were talking about school and the kindergarten Christmas concert and everything, and Sam was there with Ash, but she just kept coming over and watching us and saying how she loved seeing me and Aiden together.”
Mel nodded. That sounded innocent enough. But Mitch went on, “But when we all had dinner, she and Sam seemed to be having an argument in the kitchen, and when they came out, she was crying. So, I guess—I don’t know. I guess old habits die hard or something, because I got upset with Sam, and I asked him what his problem was. And he didn’t want to make a big scene in front of Aiden, which I honestly wish I’d thought of, because the poor kid was totally confused. But, long story short, Sam split. And that’s when Ashleigh told me that she wasn’t sure what she wanted, and that maybe she’d been wrong about Sam.”
Wow. As much as Mel might have wanted to be able to lie to herself, that was pretty hard to misinterpret. Mitch’s family wanted him back as badly as he wanted them. It seemed like all of his obstacles were clearing.
Except, he didn’t seem happy. In fact, he seemed even more unhappy. That was not what Mel had expected, and she couldn’t help saying, “So how do you feel about all this?”
“I don’t know, and that’s what’s got me confused!” Mitch said. “Like, this is what I wanted, right? I mean, even…two weeks ago, it was what I wanted. But now that I could have it, I’m like, maybe that isn’t what we need—any of us—anymore. I don’t know.” Mitch shook his head, taking a sip of coffee probably just to stop himself from talking. “Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Things could go back to how they were. That’s a good thing, right? Unless…I don’t know.”
Mel had no idea what to say—but resolved not to judge Mitch, and to be a good listener, she nodded and said, “It must be hard.”
Mitch said, “It isn’t so much that it’s hard, but it’s just—all this time, the only way I could get through all of this mess was thinking, ‘At least Sam makes her happy.’ You know? And he gets along with Aiden, and he’s a decent dude. I mean, believe me, I am the last person in the world to want to compliment the dude my fiancée left me for, but if there had been anything wrong with him, I would have noticed, because I was ripping the dude apart.
“But, the thing is, if Ash isn’t happy with him because she still loves me…” He trailed off, and Mel was almost afraid to ask him how that sentence was supposed to end. But the silence between them stretched, and she knew that a good friend would ask.
“Yeah?” she prodded.
“If she still loves me, I’m still…me. I’m still the guy she was unhappy with. She’s saying she sees who I can be, but…I am who I am. This is me.” He shrugged and shook his head. “I am still the dude who wouldn’t get off his ass and marry her. I’m still the one who worked too much. I’m still the one who never cared enough about anything she wanted me to care about. It wasn’t even that we weren’t happy, necessarily, but we just…I don’t know. I always loved her, but I honestly don’t know if she loved me, at the end of it.”
Mel sighed, hating to hear those words more than she could ever express. But it was hard not to draw parallels to her situation with Greyson, when she had known they weren’t compatible, but hadn’t wanted to let it go. Hadn’t everyone had a relationship like that at one point or another? It made Mel wonder whether she would have taken Greyson back, if he’d asked. Would she have asked the same questions Mitch was asking now?
“I’m dragging you down, I’m sorry,” Mitch said, seeing the serious expression on her face.
Mel shook her head. “No, don’t be ridiculous. We’re friends. I’m always here to listen.”
That didn’t really seem to cheer him up, and Mel decided to turn the conversation slightly, without totally changing the subject, if he wanted to discuss it more. So she said, “What’s this about a kindergarten Christmas concert?”
Mitch groaned and rubbed a hand over his face, but when he removed it, he was smiling. “Torture. Pure and utter torture. Imagine spending 45 minutes listening to a chorus of fidgety, off-key children singing Christmas songs, accompanied by a group of third graders playing the recorder.”
“Not really!” Mel gasped.
Mitch laughed. “No, not really. I mean, not really the recorder. But it is a concert where a bunch of kids who barely know what a tune is, let alone how to carry one, are forced to stand still against their will for the entertainment of their insatiable Millennials moms.”
Mel couldn’t hold back her giggles, but she nonetheless tried to be stern when she said, “That is awful. Don’t be so mean.”
Mitch smirked. “They’re going to torture me, the least you can do is let me be mean.”
“Fine,” Mel smiled. “But be nice to the Millennial moms. They get a bad rap from everybody.”
“They do, don’t they?” Mitch said. “Okay. I’ll be nice. But I won’t promise to enjoy the concert.”
The change to Mitch’s mood seemed to be holding, and they continued to chat. Mel had made a coffee cake during her productivity frenzy the night before, and they were sharing it over the breakfast table when a knock at the front door roused them from their conversation.
Mel glanced at her phone. It was only 9:30 on a Saturday morning, and she wasn’t expecting anybody. She rose and hobbled to the door only to find none other than Ashleigh and Aiden.
Aiden, bless his heart, ran into Mel’s arms instantly. “Mel! I told you, Mommy. I said she’d be here. Hi, Mel!”
Mel didn’t care if it made Ashleigh hate her forever; she wasn’t going to make Aiden feel a bit unwelcome.
“Hey, buddy! I didn’t know you were coming over. I’m so happy to see you.”
“I can come anytime,” he said knowingly, and Mel glanced up at Ashleigh’s scowling face, in spite of herself.
“Yes, you always can—as long as Mommy or Daddy say it’s okay. Because they’re in charge.”
Ashleigh apparently was not appeased. “It’s cold,” she said. “Can I come in?”
Mel honestly wanted to tell her no. Last time she saw Ashleigh, she’d been accused of being a gold-digger and worse. Plus, regardless of how Mel described the situation to Mitch, they felt like rivals. This was the fool who’d dumped an amazing man, and was now stringing him and her new boyfriend along, and dragging her little boy along to witness the whole mess. This woman wasn’t exactly high on Mel’s list of esteemed people. But, she couldn’t tell her off in front of Aiden. So she said, “Sure. This is certainly a surprise.” Then she winked down at Aiden. “Your dad is at the dining table, if you want to go say hi.”
Aiden grinned and ran off, and when Mel looked back at Ashleigh, she was even more angry, if that were possible.
“I knew Mitch would be here. Did he tell you he was with me last night?” Ashleigh asked haughtily. The tone of her voice made Mel wonder what else had happened last night. She hadn’t asked Mitch about it, but if the fight was at dinner and he didn’t arrive at Mel’s until close to midnight, it now occurred to her that many, many things may have happened in between. Mel remembered how she’d interrupted them when Ashleigh was over last weekend, and she decided to stop that train of thought in its tracks before her imagination ran away with her.
“Yeah, he did. I was the one who suggested he go, actually. I pointed out how little he’s been seeing Aiden this week, and he agreed that it would be a good idea to come over.”
“Well, aren’t you two hot and heavy all of a sudden,” Ashleigh said viciously. “I hope you know, it won’t last.”
With her very best poker face, Mel said, “I thought Mitch told you, we’re just friends.”
“Oh, please,” Ashleigh said, but Mel thought she saw her attitude towa
rd her soften slightly.
“We are. He sleeps in the guest room when he stays over; he’s helping me take care of my knee, and that’s all. Mostly, he talks about you.”
Ashleigh scowled and folded her arms, saying nothing.
Mel felt provoked by her continued crabbiness, and again, the necessity of explaining Mitch’s behavior to the woman who no longer deserved for him to love her. “Why did you come?”
“Mitch wasn’t at his apartment.”
“Did you two have plans?”
“No, but I thought he might want to see his son today.”
Mel shrugged. “Okay. Great. Are you dropping him off here, then?”
“What? No!” Ashleigh looked totally affronted. “I came to get Mitch and take him home to spend time with us. I do not want Aiden coming here, no matter how you might go on and on about being ‘always welcome.’”
Mel resented that comment, but was spared the trouble of replying by Mitch, who had apparently been listening and came into the entryway.
“If he can spend time with Sam, he can spend time with Mel.”
“Not the same!” Ashleigh said. “Mel is just a friend, she said so herself.”
At this, Ashleigh gave Mel a triumphant look, and Mel perceived that Ashleigh was trying to hurt Mitch by saying it. She began to doubt that whatever she’d suspected happened last night had actually happened. Ashleigh wouldn’t be this wound up if it had. This was such a messed-up situation, and Mel hated being thrown in the middle of it. It gave her a headache and made her feel exhausted.
Trying to clear her muddied thoughts, she turned to Mitch and said, “Where’s Aiden?”
“Washing his hands,” he answered in a monotone. “He had some coffee cake.”
No sooner had Mitch said this than Aiden came hopping into the room, saying, “Mel, did you hear? Mommy and Daddy and me are all going to the mall to see Santa today! Do you wanna come?”
Mel smiled and ruffled his carrot top head. This was exactly what she’d been afraid of—this sinking feeling of knowing she did not belong. “That’s so kind of you to invite me, buddy. I wish I could, but I think it’s better that it’s just the three of you.”
“Why?” Aiden glanced back at his parents.
“Mel is busy all day today, kiddo,” Mitch said. “She already has plans.”
“Want to come to my Christmas concert at school?” Aiden asked then, looking at Mel with some nervousness. “That’s not until tonight, after dinner.”
Before either of his parents could decline on her behalf, Mel said, “I would love to, Aiden. Thank you for inviting me.”
Then she looked Mitch in the eye and said, “What school is it at?”
He told her, looking surprised and a little concerned, but Mel figured if either of them wanted to prevent her from attending a public event that meant a lot to Aiden, they would just have to tell her outright. Besides, off-key kids or not, Christmas carols were her favorite thing, and for once she wouldn’t be the one singing them.
“I’ll see you later,” Mel told Aiden with a smile, and his mom took him out the door, leaving Mitch in the entryway to gather his things and follow them in his car.
He looked at Mel. “Why did you say you’d come to the concert?” His tone was accusatory, and Mel raised her eyebrows at him.
“Because I don’t have plans. I love Christmas carols, and I thought it would be fun. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I didn’t realize it would make you upset.”
Mitch shook his head. “No. Sorry. I’m not upset. I just…really didn’t expect Ashleigh to show up here this morning.” He ran a hand over his sleep-tousled hair and swore under his breath. In his undershirt, the muscles in his arms and stomach all stood out, and there was something about the light through the front window that made him look even more irresistible than usual. Mitch was trying to apologize for being rude, and here Mel was, shamelessly staring at him.
She shook herself out of it, but she suspected it was too late to really save face; Mitch was watching her with a little smile that said he knew too much. “You okay?” he prodded.
“I’m fine,” she said, nodding with what was probably too much vigor. “Just zoned out for a second. Um…so, I guess you have to head to the mall?”
Mitch sighed, and his smile faded. “Yeah, I guess.”
“It’ll be fun, though, to take Aiden to see Santa.”
“You think everything’s fun,” Mitch said, “so I bet for you, that would be true.”
Mel wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or an insult, and only said, “Thanks.”
When Mitch walked down the hall to shower, a thought occurred to Mel that never had before, and made everything seem a lot clearer to her: Mitch wasn’t sure how he felt, either.
The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Sometimes he seemed to like Mel, but usually he just seemed amused by her. But there were also times when he seemed tired of the whole charade with Ashleigh, very sparsely hidden among the overwhelmingly more common hours and days when he adored her and could think of and wish for nothing else.
It wasn’t that Mel was confused; it was that Mitch couldn’t make up his mind. And it was annoying. But maybe Mel’s interference was the reason why; maybe she really shouldn’t be inserting herself here where she didn’t belong. She should have just sung in the first place, used her gift and gotten it over with. Now? Now she would have to go be tortured at a Christmas concert, and it was nobody’s fault but hers.
Chapter 10
Mel was left to her own devices for the day—but internally, she was totally confused. The disfunction of Mitch’s relationship with Ashleigh seemed to have no bounds. Having a probably unrequited crush on him, worrying whether she should sing to help him reunite his family, putting up with intrusions from Aiden and Ashleigh, which were not equally unwelcome but still caused some stress—it was exhausting. Was Mitch really worth all the trouble?
But then Mel showed up at Mount Mercy elementary school that evening, and she had her answer. She was feeling stupid, walking in from a dark parking lot, leaning on one crutch and wearing a warm winter coat and scarf, bundled from the violent wind. And then she saw Mitch waiting in the lobby for her, tall and slender, brown hair swept back from the wind and hands tucked in his pockets—and when she saw the way he smiled, there was no question in her mind. In fact, every other thought totally fled from her mind. Ashleigh would never know how lucky she’d had it. Mitch was worth it, a hundred times over.
Mitch waved when he saw her and jogged toward her, opening the door for her and giving her a slight embrace—an unusual but sweet gesture that he passed over so easily, it was as though it was always part of their routine. “You are getting around great on that knee,” he said. “I’m totally impressed.”
“It’s my doctor, he’s amazing,” Mel said with a smile, earning a loud bark of laughter from Mitch.
“Your doctor thinks highly enough of himself as it is,” he said. “No need to pad his ego any further.”
That was probably true. “Fair enough,” Mel said, and Mitch helped her stash her crutch in the coat closet so she could get around a little bit more freely. Even though she liked to have it just in case, she didn’t really need it anymore.
As they walked toward the gymnasium where the children would sing the concert, Mel asked, “So how was the mall?”
Mitch rolled his eyes. “Fine. Aiden liked seeing Santa, but I still can’t tell what Ash wants. Like, I got there thinking she definitely wants to get back together, but she spent the whole time pushing me away. So, confusing is the word of the day.”
Mel shook her head. “Sorry,” she said. “Well, my day wasn’t tons better. I had a lot of work to catch up on before Monday.”
“Are you getting back to work?”
Mel nodded. “Yeah, I have to. Things have piled up without me, and like you said, I am getting around okay. Better all the time, actually. I think this weekend has been a turning point, somehow.”
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br /> “That’s how it usually is,” Mitch confirmed as he led her to their seats in the gymnasium-turned-auditorium. The room was packed with parents and siblings, and Mel imagined she was one of the only “special guests.” She hoped the judgmental looks she was perceiving were just in her imagination.
“So where is Ashleigh now?” Mel asked.
“I think she’s with Aiden. Pre-show jitters,” he explained.
“Aw. Is this his first concert?”
“Yes, and while I told him everybody’s expectations are very low, it didn’t seem to make him feel any better.”
“Gee, I wonder why!” Mel said, punching his arm lightly. “You didn’t really say that, did you?”
“Sure,” Mitch shrugged.
Mel was pretty sure she wouldn’t get another opportunity, so she took this one to say, “You know, you can’t tease him like that so much. It hurts his feelings, and he’s just too young to understand.”
Mitch looked affronted. “I’m just joking around with him.”
Mel knew she was overstepping, but she still felt like it was too important to let it go. “I know; I just want to mention it, as your friend. I know you’re funny. I mean, you have an amazing sense of humor, so you don’t have to tell me you’re joking.” Mitch seemed flattered enough that Mel had the courage to continue, “But even though Aiden is really smart for a five-year-old, he’s still only five. He just doesn’t get it yet, when you joke like that. It’s more sophisticated than a five-year-old can handle, that’s all I’m saying.”
Mitch sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I told you, I’m no good at talking to him.”
Mel turned to face him in her seat, and put both her hands on his knee so she would be sure she had his attention. He looked surprised but pleased when he looked at her, and she said, “You are so good at talking to him, a lot of the time. Maybe think of it this way—your instincts are good that you want to make him laugh. So pay attention to what makes him laugh. Figure out what he finds funny, and then do that stuff to make him laugh.”
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