Heartstrings

by Kelli McCracken

  “I’m sorry, Jo. I didn’t mean to scare you. I figured you heard me approaching. I sound like an elephant trotting through a forest.”

  “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting to meet you here. I thought we agreed to meet at the end of the driveway.”

  “We did, but I changed vehicles last minute and the motor in the one I brought is loud. I didn’t want to wake anyone so I parked a few blocks away near the park entrance. We can cut through the woods and hit one of the trails. I brought a flashlight.” He waved a black, heavy-duty flashlight between us and offered me his hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe.”

  I didn’t question him. Once I nodded and took his hand, he whisked me toward the beach. “Why are we going this way?”

  “Your yard is still muddy from the storm we got yesterday. I don’t want to leave any tracks, and most of the ground leading to the beach is dry.”

  “You’ve thought this out very well.”

  His chuckling made me smile. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I’m just observant.”

  As we approached the rocks where I’d played my guitar, thoughts of Adam filled my mind. I missed seeing him. The argument we’d had a few days ago still hurt as much as it had the day it happened. Why was my mind tormenting me over this? Why wouldn’t it summon him like it normally did when I needed him? It made no sense.

  “You okay?”

  Paxton’s question echoed through my head as I nodded. I focused on the rock I’d sat on the last time I was here. It was the same rock where Adam talked me out of an anxiety attack.

  I don’t know why I was so hung up on a man I created in my mind. Paxton was real. He was here and helping me the best he could. The attraction I felt for him was strong, but the one I felt for Adam was stronger. I hoped that in time, the raw emotion I felt around him would develop between Paxton and me.

  After we crossed over the boundary of the park, Paxton aimed the flashlight into the woods. “Damn. I can’t remember which way I came.”

  I pointed just to our left. “It’s that way.”

  His brows creased. “How do you know? Brighton said you couldn’t remember much about the last six years.”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer him. The woods brought back little memories for me, but somehow I knew I was right. “I don’t know how much I’ve forgotten, but everything inside me says we need to go toward the left.” I tilted my head in the direction I’d pointed then looked at him. “Do you trust me?”

  Paxton didn’t hesitate nodding. “Of course I do. You’ve placed your trust in me. I can do the same.” He said nothing else. We were moving again, but toward the area I’d mentioned.

  We made a short trek through trees before we stumbled upon a trail. If not for the flashlight, who knows how long it would have taken us. It was so dark that I struggled to see my hand in front of my face. The cloudy sky provided no light from the moon, and the sun wouldn’t be up for another hour. Having Paxton by my side gave me a sense of security. I couldn’t imagine being in these woods by myself.

  After a lengthy walk, the darkness gave way to streetlights in the distance. The trail led out of the woods and through a large field that stretched toward the lake. Further to the right was the parking lot with countless white marks outlining parking spots.

  I searched the area but saw nothing more than a service truck. There were more spaces past a bend in the road. Bushes lined the corner. So did a shelter, which blocked my view of what lay ahead.

  As we moved under a streetlight, we picked up the pace. My heart was racing like it had when I stood outside my bedroom. I double-checked my back pocket, making sure my phone and appointment card were still in place. As quick as we were moving, I worried the phone had worked its way loose. Yet both were secure.

  Once we passed the bend, a large orange gate extended from one side of the park entrance to the other. No cars filled any of the additional parking spaces, but then, Paxton said he parked near the entrance.

  “Are we almost there?” My nostrils burned as I spoke. None of my breaths seemed to supply enough oxygen to my lungs. But then, I hadn’t walked this fast since I came home.

  “It’s on the other side of the gate. We can slow down if you want. I just figured you were cold. You were trembling.”

  “I’m not cold. I have too much adrenaline flowing.” I played off my fear as best as I could. I was afraid—of not getting answers, of the phone calls and texts that would blow up my phone when Hadley found my room empty. But most of all, I was afraid of what I would learn at the appointment.

  If Brighton and Hadley’s excuses were valid, there was a chance I could lose important memories forever. How many memories, I didn’t know. It made me second-guess what I was doing.

  No sooner than the thought rolled through my mind, we stepped outside the gate and onto the street. Vehicles lined the road in both directions, but Paxton veered to the left.

  We passed a truck, an SUV, and a compact car before I noticed a red sports car in the distance. Paxton said his vehicle’s engine was loud. When he dug his keys out of his pocket, I was convinced this was his car. Yet as we approached the passenger door, Paxton didn’t stop, not until we came to the next vehicle.

  As I studied the sleek, slender metal before me, my stomach did a somersault. He expected me to get on this? Seriously? Good thing I decided to wear a coat.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I gazed up and shook my head. “You have a motorcycle?”

  When he smiled, my heart sighed. “Of course I do. You remember when I…” His mouth worked, but no words followed. Not at first. He winced before he found his voice again. “No. You don’t remember.”

  I couldn’t ignore the change in his mood. The way he averted his eyes, the downturn of his lips, how his nostrils flared, they were all signs of disappointment. He wanted me to remember. I wished more than ever that I could. Unfortunately, it didn’t work like that, so I did the best thing I could. I changed the subject.

  “So, what are we going to do until it’s time for my appointment?”

  “Why do you think I brought the bike?” A mischievous grin covered his face as he swung one leg over the deep red Harley Davidson. He patted the rear seat and winked. “Hop on, baby girl. Today, we’re breaking free from your prison.”

  My lips tugged upward as I mimicked his movements and straddled the bike. I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was my friend, my accomplice, my salvation. He would help me get my answers.

  Whatever happened after was the least of my concerns. I’d deal with any consequences my choices brought me.

  * * *

  Paxton shifted gears on the motorcycle as we approached an empty parking space in downtown Toledo. My arms remained wrapped about his waist, even as he backed the bike inside the space and lowered the kickstand.

  Once he killed the engine, I released my hold on him and worked my way off the back seat. He pulled the key from the ignition and joined me on the sidewalk a moment later.

  “What are we doing downtown?” I asked, scanning the multiple buildings lining the street. It wasn’t until a rich and nutty aroma hit my nose that I realized we were standing outside a coffee shop.

  Paxton shoved the keys in his jeans and offered me his arm. “I thought we would grab some coffee before your appointment. Is that okay?”

  “Of course it is. If you know me as well as I think you do, then you know how much I like coffee.”

  Paxton grinned and nodded. He escorted me into the shop just a few yards from where we stood. The front doors faced the corner of the intersection we’d come through before parking. Neither the streets nor the surrounding buildings rang with any familiarity.

  The scent of freshly brewed coffee filled my nose when we walked indoors. It mixed with a sweet, cinnamon aroma I assumed to be sweet rolls or possibly coffee cake. A large, glass case held a variety of pastries near the register, where I spotted a young girl.

  “Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll get our drinks. Wh
at would you like?”

  “A caramel latte sounds wonderful.”

  Paxton nodded. “Want anything else? You have to be hungry.”

  “I’m too nervous to eat,” I chuckled to hide my disgruntlement. I was nervous. Admitting as much made me feel weak. Yet when I met Paxton’s gaze, my irritation vanished.

  “No matter what happens at this appointment, I’ll be by your side all day. I promise.”

  I feigned a smile as he got in line, then I found a table near the window where the Harley was parked. By the time I lowered myself to a seat, my phone vibrated. The knot in my stomach grew at the thought of who would be calling. It could only be two people. Hadley or Brighton.

  Digging the phone out of my pocket, the screen went black before I could see if it was a call or a text. After a few quick swipes, I got my answer. A voicemail bubble popped up with Hadley’s cell written above it.

  I glared at the phone, debating on whether to listen to the message. It wasn’t as if I needed to hear it. There was only one reason she would be calling. She found my empty room.

  If I called back, she’d ask my whereabouts. In fact, if my suspicions were right, Brighton could be tracking me at this moment…

  Without giving it any more thought, I switched the phone off and tucked it back inside my pocket. Paxton walked over to the table a few minutes later. He placed a coffee mug in front of me, as well as a plate containing a bagel and cream cheese.

  As he sat on the opposite bench, I peeked at him and then the bagel. “I hope that’s yours because I can’t eat.”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed the knife he’d brought with him and opened the package of cream cheese. I watched as he spread it over the bagel, carefully placing it on both sides of the bread. Then he placed half in front of himself. The other half he placed in front of me.

  “Just take a few bites. You need something in your stomach.”

  “Pax—”

  “Please?”

  I stared into his eyes, regretting my decision to do so when I saw him giving me the ol’ puppy dog look. What the hell. Might as well do as he asked. Besides, the onion scented bread made my belly grumble as much as it made my mouth water.

  Biting into the bagel, I enjoyed the flavors exploding on my taste buds. We sat in silence, enjoying our mini breakfast and coffee while stealing glances at each other. By the time I’d finished half of my bagel, Paxton’s was gone.

  He wiped his mouth with a napkin, took a sip of his coffee, and then leaned his elbows against the table. “So…do you recognize anything in this part of town?”

  I studied the street and buildings again and concentrated on the void in my mind. It seemed as though the harder I focused, the less things seemed familiar. Not that I had much to go on.

  Yet as I examined the coffee shop, little flashes of light began flickering.

  There was something about this place that weighed on me. The more I examined the walls and tables, the more flashes sparked to life. They came at such a rapid pace I felt myself getting nauseous. Then it happened. The flashes subsided and a face filtered through my thoughts. But it wasn’t just any face. It was Paxton’s.

  “This coffee shop…” I mumbled the words as I stared into space. “I’ve been here before.”

  “Have you?” His voice was steady and soft, but curiosity blazed in his eyes.

  “Yeah, I have…and you were with me.”

  Paxton’s body jerked in reaction to my words. “What makes you think that?”

  “While I was looking around, I had a flashback. I was sitting at a table”—I scanned the room until I found a table for two in the far corner. “The one over there.”

  When I pointed in the same direction, Paxton spared a glance. By the way he parted his lips, I sensed that he wanted to say something, but I beat him to it.

  “You were standing behind the chair opposite mine, and you were smiling down at me.”

  I allowed the scene to continue unfolding. Not much had changed in his appearance. He may have been a few years younger. There was a certain boyish look about him that he no longer had. Perhaps it was the thin layer of facial hair lining his jaw. Either way, he was still as sexy as the man sitting before me.

  “We met here. Didn’t we?”

  Paxton grew quiet. Too quiet. When I turned to face him, he was staring at me. He nodded a second later then gawked at the mug in his hands. “You’re right, Jo. This is where you and I met.”

  Though I doubted he would admit it, there was a sense of sadness in his demeanor. It confused me. I thought he would be happy that I remembered something about him as well as my past. On the contrary, it seemed to upset him.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No. Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. You seem…sad.”

  He took a long, methodical drink from his cup as he observed me over the brim. I wasn’t sure if he was working up the nerve to answer or concocting the perfect excuse in his mind, but my body tensed when he lowered his cup.

  “I wouldn’t say I’m sad. I’m frustrated. Not at you, but the fact I can’t talk to you about certain things. Brighton made it clear that he would beat me to a pulp if I did anything to mess with your head.”

  I leaned closer. “Then why are you here?”

  His throat wobbled when he spoke. “Because I owe you.” He swallowed hard and cleared the grogginess from his voice. “I catch myself on the verge of saying too much. I want to talk freely about so many things, but I can’t risk hurting you. You’ve been through too much.”

  “Then I have to ask again. Why are you helping me? Or have you changed your mind? Did you bring me here to talk me out of—?”

  “Not at all,” he stretched his arms across the table and opened his hands. I placed mine within them before meeting his gaze once more. “I brought you here in hopes of you remembering me…because I love you, Jo. I have since the moment I saw you, and from what I can tell, you just remembered that moment as well.”

  ~ CHAPTER FIFTEEN ~

  The low hum of voices inside the coffee shop faded. Each vigorous beat of my heart echoed in my ears. The harder I concentrated on what Paxton said, the louder those beats grew. His confession of love…how he’d felt the same since the day we met… It was a lot to take in.

  Yet when he admitted how the flashback I had was that same day, it left me speechless. My stomach ached, my shoulders knotted, and if I didn’t steady my breathing soon, I’d hyperventilate.

  Though I wasn’t sure if Paxton noticed my reaction, a small sense of relief filled me when he excused himself to the men’s room. My cheeks were on fire. For the first time since I’d regained consciousness, something good was happening. Paxton loved me. It wasn’t just the way my body reacted to the news that made me happy. It was the fact his feelings for me proved one of my worst fears wrong.

  I wasn’t alone.

  I blinked away my tears, hoping like hell he wouldn’t notice I’d been crying. They were happy tears anyway. My life was heading in a better direction. It wouldn’t be long before my memories came back. I wanted to remember more about Paxton. I wanted to remember everything.

  “Do you need more coffee?”

  I turned toward the feminine voice. A waitress stood a foot from the table, a carafe full of coffee in her hand. It was only a guess but she looked a few years younger than me.

  “I’m good. We’re going to be leaving soon anyway.”

  “Gotcha.” She glanced at my mug. “Do you need a to-go cup?”

  “No,” I chuckled. “We’re on a motorcycle.”

  “Oh, cool. It’s going to be a good day for a ride.” Her hair hung in a ponytail, which shimmied when she began cleaning a nearby table. She’d pinned a few wayward strands with bobby pins, but a couple locks hung near her face.

  Nodding at her last comment, I couldn’t divert my attention. There was something about the young woman that spoke to me. I didn’t recognize her. There seemed to be enough of an age diffe
rence that I knew she wasn’t an old classmate. Still, something felt familiar.

  As she made a final sweep over the table, she stood straight and swiped her locks from her face. She looked at me once more and smiled. It wasn’t until she turned from the table that it hit me why I thought I knew her. She reminded me of Hadley. In fact, just before the girl walked away, I thought it was Hadley…only a younger version.

  How was that even possible? I didn’t know Hadley when she was—

  Spots danced before me. They switched to flashes a second later, and another scene unfolded in my mind. The younger version of Hadley stood behind the register. She wore a nametag, much like the waitress whom I’d chatted with. Yet I wasn’t observing Hadley from the table where I’d met Paxton. I was standing on the other side of the counter, right beside her.

  “Jo?” The scene faded as I snapped my head in Paxton’s direction. He stood beside the table, peering down at me. “Are you okay?”

  “I uh…I think I am.”

  When I rose from my seat he came closer. His fingers wrapped around my arm. “Are you sure?”

  “I think I need some air.”

  “Let me help you.” He tugged my arm and moved out of the way, but I shrugged out of his grasp.

  “I’m okay, Pax. Finish your coffee.”

  I approached the door in haste, but his steps remained in sync with mine, matching my stride with little effort. “I’ve already finished. We need to get going anyway. You have less than an hour before you’re due at the doctor’s office.”

  Once he opened the door, I hurried to the sidewalk and drew in a deep breath. The heat left my cheeks with each step I made toward Paxton’s bike. A lukewarm breeze blew in from the south and tousled my hair. It helped ease the tightness in my chest.

  Before I reached the motorcycle, Paxton wrapped his arm around my waist. “Jo, are you really okay?”

  “Yes.” We stood at the edge of the sidewalk, staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Concern burned within his eyes. Then I cupped his face. “Don’t worry, Pax. Coming here opened something inside me. More memories are attempting their way back. I just have to sit down and process everything.”