Ruined: A Contemporary Bad Boy Romance

by Lisa Lace

  “I’m not hungry, actually,” I say, letting the freezer door swing shut.

  Max opens the door once I move aside and raises his eyebrows at the stash inside. He gives a low whistle. “That’s a lot of food.” He picks up one container and looks at the label. He grabs another and examines that one, too. “Are these all for Bella?”

  “Well, yes.” I explain my reasoning for making all the food for her and try to ignore how his soft cotton pajamas are molding to the taut muscles in his thighs and the package that rests between them.

  “You know, we have a cook. There was no need to do all this,” he says, shutting the door.

  “I know,” I tell him defensively. “I know how Bella can get sometimes and I want to make sure she’s happy while I’m gone. I can’t control what she’s going to do daily or eat, but I can provide her favorite foods, at the very least.”

  “I know, she’s lucky to have you.” Max doesn’t say more on the topic, and he opens the refrigerator to pull out a container with pot roast and another one with mashed potatoes in it. “Eat a little with me,” he says as pops it into the microwave.

  I can’t think of a reason not to, and my stomach growls on cue.

  “See?” Max nods towards my stomach. “I can guess these things.”

  I give him a faint smile and pull out a chair to sit and doodle on my list while he finishes warming up the food. We’ve been incredibly polite to each other since the day he saw Sam at the house. I don’t know if he and Sam are talking to each other, but since they see each other at work, I assume that they are. I hope they aren’t upset with one other; it will make me feel worse about everything once I have to leave. It’s one thing to break up a family like the one Max and I created, but it’s another for me to break up two brothers over nothing.

  “Careful,” Max says, setting down the containers in front of me. “They’re super hot.”

  “I’ll get some plates,” I offer. I grab two small plates from the cupboard and set them down.

  “You never ate in the middle of the night before?” Max asks me. He’s licking his finger and l try not to think about how much I want to take over the task.

  “What? Of course, I have,” I tell him, confused by his statement. I’m so busy watching his tongue that I can’t make much sense of what he’s saying.

  “When you eat this late, you don’t use plates,” he declares. He hands me a fork. “Even utensils are optional.”

  “Oh, right.” I sit down and cover my chest with my robe before he can notice my nipples poking out of my nightgown. The last time we were intimate was a few days before Ms. Sushi came into the picture. It’s been too long for my liking, but it’s not as if I can tell him I want to pause our standoff while we have sex, and then hit “play” again.

  I drop my fork in my haste to cover up, and Max and I bump heads trying to retrieve it. “Let me just rinse it,” I mutter.

  “Forget it,” Max says, taking it and throwing in the sink for me. “Just share with me.”

  One fork and one bowl between the two of us? Nothing can go wrong here. “Sure,” I say. “Um, you can go first.” I wait as he spears some of the tender meat and scoops up some mashed potatoes and gravy with it. He holds it up to my lips, and I open obediently.

  We continue to eat quietly while he alternates our bites. There is something so sweet, yet erotic about this process. I know it’s bad for me, but at the same time, I can’t stop. We’re sitting close to each other so we can share, our knees bumping together. I want to ask him about the other night and clear the air, but I don’t want to ruin the moment.

  We’ve eaten the whole bowl, and even though I’m stuffed, I want to keep eating just to be close to him. He pushes back in his chair and distances himself from me. I see a bit of mashed potatoes on the corner of his mouth and reach up to wipe it away. His lips capture my thumb, and he sucks on the tip lightly.

  My mind goes blank, and I can’t think straight. All I know is how much I need him right here, right now. He drops the containers, and I register a second fork clattering to the floor, but this time I don’t care.

  His lips cover mine, and he pushes me against the fridge in no time. I tear away his shirt, and he’s peeling my robe off, and my nightgown down to my waist. His head lowers onto my chest, and I feel his hot mouth claim one nipple while he pulls and teases the other. I can’t stop my hips from moving against his, and I feel his cock pushing against my stomach.

  Rubbing my hands down his chest, I move to the drawstring of his pants. It’s tied loosely, and I don’t have to fumble long before I have it undone and I can slide the pants down. His cock springs free, and I hesitate briefly. I draw my hand back, but Max captures it and wraps it around his throbbing member.

  He groans and bunches up the rest of my nightgown up to my hips. It’s now uselessly pooled around my middle, and he lets go of the whole thing and pushes it down to make a puddle around my feet.

  It feels so wrong to be standing naked in the kitchen, but I feel safe with Max. I cup him with one hand and massage his balls while I stroke him with the other. He squeezes his eyes closed, and I can see him trying to maintain his composure.

  I’m not having it, though. I want, no, I need to see him succumb to me. I want to have that control over him, if only just for tonight. I drop to my knees and lick the tip of his shaft. He sucks in his breath, and I know he’s going to try to stop me, but I don’t want to hear it. Not yet.

  Opening my mouth wider, I take in the whole tip, which fills most of my mouth. I swirl my tongue around, and I feel his hands cup my face. He wants to stop me, but he can’t because it feels too good.

  I feel powerful, and I’m urged to continue. I slide him into my mouth deeper, squeezing my lips around him so he feels the hot, wet friction all over. I hear him whimper, but I can’t stop. My other hand is still kneading his balls; I haven’t forgotten about them. I release his cock to bathe them with the same attention.

  “Shit, Laura.” His voice sounds barely restrained. It’s the first word he’s spoken since we started eating. I move back to the head and increase the pressure. “I can’t stop, Laura, I can’t.” He’s trying to move me off of him, but I continue the assault. “Laura, Laura.” He keeps chanting my name, his hands trying to pull me off him, though I know he’s fighting the urge to push himself in deeper.

  I keep pressure on the head and take in more of his length without warning. Max’s body tenses under me, and I release just in time to have him jerk in my hand, shooting hot streams of himself onto my breasts.

  He looks dazed, and he’s clutching the fridge for support. “Laura,” he says again.

  “I’m going to go get cleaned up,” I say quietly. I stand up and give him a kiss on the cheek before slipping my nightgown back on and moving away. He grabs my wrist before I can go.

  “Come to the room.” It’s not a request, it’s an order. I look into his eyes. They flash at me.

  “Okay,” I say. I have to be up early tomorrow for the flight, but I think tonight, I’m just going to forget about sleeping.

  “I’ll call you every day and write you long, long, long, long, long letters every day, too!” Bella is skipping in her excitement about my trip, although I don’t think she understands that I’m leaving for a few days, not a few hours.

  “I sure hope so.” I tweak her nose. “I made you some videos of me reading some of your favorite books, so if you ever miss me, you can watch them.”

  “Even if it’s not at bedtime?” Bella asks earnestly.

  “Even then,” I agree.

  “But what if you miss me?” Bella tests me. “How will you see me?”

  “Well, I have videos of you.” I show her my phone, and she takes it.

  “You’re sure you have everything?” Max hung back for most of the morning after Bella woke up. Even now, he’s standing on the steps while the driver loads the bags into the trunk.

  “I have everything and then some,” I joke.

  “You don�
��t have me.” Bella is swinging my arm back and forth, trying to hang off of it.

  “Let’s let Laura get in the car,” Max says, peeling her off.

  My throat feels tight when I have to watch them back away from the car. The driver shuts the door, but I keep my eyes trained on them as we pull away. I’ve prepared everything for Bella, but I forgot to prepare myself for this separation.

  I know I need to be thinking about the opportunity I have in Milan, but I don’t know how to erase Max from my mind in order to do that. Maybe this separation is good for us to clear our minds and get our lives back on track.

  I think we’re both resorting to sex as a bandage for what’s to come. I know I am. I never thought I could be as brazen as I was last night, but I was. I contemplate telling Riley so she can share my excitement. It will be a waste telling her if she doesn’t believe me.

  Recalling the jitters I had when I put on one of the nighties I bought, I wonder how I shed my inhibitions in a few short days. I think it’s like Riley said; I have to follow my instincts. They were never so strong as they were last night.

  All the way to Milan, I think about Max and what kind of future we could have had or would have had or should have had. I reach a point of exhaustion during the flight, where I forget where I am headed, and I wonder where Max and Bella are. Having had no sleep for over twenty-four hours, not to mention being stressed the days leading up to last night, is taking a toll on me.

  As soon as I land, I take a shuttle straight to the hotel and sleep a few hours until my meeting is scheduled. Once I wake up, I’m still tired, but I feel refreshed. I shower and dress in a simple, tasteful wrap dress that’s one of the designs I have in my portfolio. I had a tailor make it to my measurements, and I’ve never had the opportunity to wear it. But I know today is an appropriate time to show it off.

  My first meeting is more formal, and I wish I’d thought to wear something less casual. I feel out of place and regret my decision. The next day, I wear slacks and a sleeveless top that appears to be a plain, pale pink at first glance but is detailed down the back with lace eyelet buttons.

  “You always have on the most beautiful ensembles,” one woman compliments from her seat in the meeting room.

  “Thank you,” I smile warmly. “I’m afraid the one from yesterday was a poor choice, though. It was meant more for a casual day.”

  “No, bella,” the woman corrects me. “It suited you and the purpose. I recognized your design. Did you start production on those already?” Her use of Bella’s name throws me off for a moment.

  “I don’t have any others like this, no,” I clarify.

  While I go through the second interview, I answer the questions in a hollow voice. When she asks me how I plan to juggle my family life along with the grueling schedule they have, I don’t say anything. She raises her eyebrows at me, and I clarify. “I won’t have any family life to juggle so it won’t pose any problems for me.” I pride myself on blinking back my tears and hope she won’t see through my act.

  Maxwell

  I hear silence on the other end of the line, and I ask again. “How did everything go?”

  She hesitates on the other end before she answers. “Everything is great. I need to stay a few extra days so I can meet with a few more people from the team.” She pauses and asks in a quieter voice, “How is Bella?”

  “She’s good,” I answer. “I mean, the way Bella always is. She’s had some trouble with the nanny we got while you’re away, but Helen’s been helping whenever she can.”

  “I can imagine.” Laura chuckles. There’s a small silence on her end, and I hear a click.

  “Laura?”

  “Yes, I’m here,” she responds. No, she’s not here. She’s there, and we’re here without her. A few extra days sounds more like a few extra weeks.

  “Did you change your return ticket yet?”

  “No, not yet. They didn’t have anything immediately available when I tried to switch flights.”

  “I’ll have a jet ready for you when you give me a date.” The sooner, the better. If I could, I would go pick her up myself. I knew I would miss her but I wasn’t prepared for this. I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling for her but I’m hoping she can sense it through my desire to have her home soon.

  “That’s not necessary,” Laura says quickly. “I don’t want my ticket to go to waste.”

  “It’s not a waste. We want you to come home sooner.” I want to hold her and tell her what her leaving for a few days is doing to me. I don’t know if she’s ready to hear what I want to say, and I’d rather tell her when we aren’t separated by hundreds of miles. That’s partially true. I also don’t know how to say the words to her. Since the day I saw Sam talking to her, I’ve been on edge.

  Sam was way out of line for entertaining the idea of being married to Laura but damned if he didn’t have a point. I don’t want her to leave me either, but it’s hard to say that when I’ve made everything so cut and dried in the contract.

  I hear muffled voices in the background. Laura gets back on the phone with me when she’s finished her conversation. “I’m sorry. I have to let you go. I forgot about a designer I was supposed to meet with. I’ll try to call you back later.”

  I hang up and look over my planner. Aside from a few tasks that could be put off until next week, I’m free for the day. I used to be in the habit of keeping my whole weekend open to spend with Bella, but I had the urge to come into the office to get some work out of the way today. I call the housekeeper to make sure she’s hired someone to watch Bella.

  “Yes, Mr. B. It was tough to get someone on short notice for a Saturday, but you know I managed,” she sniffed. “I was forced to go with another agency because Bella’s gained quite the reputation with the old one.”

  “Jesus. I know, I’ll have a talk with her before I leave. She’s getting older. I thought she would have adjusted by now.”

  “Age is nothing. What the girl wants to know is that she has two parents who love her. That’s all.” Helen usually keeps her opinions to herself, so I know this is likely something she’s been holding in for a while.

  “You’re right. I need to spend more time with her.”

  “Yes, but she needs Laura too. She’s real attached to her.” Helen doesn’t know about our agreement, at least not to my knowledge. I wonder if she’s sensed that something is off.

  “Laura should be back in a few days. We can talk about it then,” I agree. If I talk to her about it anymore, she’ll know more than I need her to know.

  Later in the afternoon, I return to the house, only to see Bella running toward me, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t want to eat it, Daddy,” she sobs into my shoulder. She mumbles more words into my shirt and drags her face across my chest.

  A slim woman hovers behind her, wringing her hands. “I’m sorry. Mr. B, is it?”

  I nod.

  “I tried to get her to eat the dinner your cook made, but she’s not listening. And the housekeeper,” she faltered and looked over her shoulder as if waiting for Helen to magically appear, “she left the house, and I didn’t know who to call to calm her down. She’s been throwing a tantrum for the past ten minutes.” Her face looks ashen as she relays her story.

  I hold up a hand to stop her from continuing. “I understand.” I pick up Bella, who’s quiet now, aside from the ragged breaths and hiccups that make her small body jerk. “You get paid through an app, correct?”

  “Yes,” the woman replies nervously. “I don’t want to get into any trouble for this. I honestly didn’t expect this reaction. She’s only my second client, and I—I wasn’t expecting this,” she finishes.

  “Look, I believe you, uh, Jenna?” I recall the electronic text that was sent to my phone with her information. And I do believe her. If I have any questions, I can and will refer to the nanny cams that are set up around the first level.

  “I think she’s overwhelmed with what’s going on at home right now, so I’l
l chalk it up as having a new babysitter causing her nerves to get the best of her.” I rub Bella’s back as I talk, and I feel her body begin to sag into me. It’s a little early for bedtime, but she’s probably worn herself out from her crying.

  I slip my phone out of my pocket and pay the woman, and give her a generous tip in the process. No telling when I might need her again, and I want her to have a reason to return.

  I see a look of relief on her face when she looks at the payment received on her phone. “Thanks, Mr. B. Just so you know, she was a doll before dinnertime. I don’t know what changed. Maybe she just really doesn’t like mac ’n cheese. I assumed all kids did.” She shrugged.

  “She does like it,” I begin, but think better of it. I shake my head and smile. “We’ll have to sort this one out when she’s calm. I hope we haven’t scared you off, she takes a while to adjust to new people, that’s all.”

  “No, I’m sure she’ll come around,” Jenna agrees. “I’ll make a point to never serve that meal again, though.”

  She leaves, and I set Bella down on the bench in the foyer. As much as I want to let Bella sleep, I need her to wake up to see what’s wrong with her. It’s possible she had a stomachache and needs some medication. Maybe she really was that upset by her dinner.

  “Hey, honey.” I shake her shoulder gently, and she curls to her side, her hands cupped under her cheek. I brush back the wisps of hair that have settled on her face.

  “Mmmmfff.” Bella snuggles into the back of the settee even more. Resigned, I think carrying her up and dressing her for bed might be the better option after all.

  Then Bella lets out another jerky breath and opens an eye. “Daddy?”

  “Yeah, honey. You’re awake?”

  “Yes,” she says softly. Tears well up in her eyes again. “When is Laura coming back?”

  “Well, she’s going to come back later this week.”

  “How do you know?” Bella stabs her finger into her nose and wiggles it around. Normally I would correct her, but I choose my battle carefully this time. “I spoke with her earlier this morning. You were still asleep,” I inform her quickly when I see her eyes narrow into slits.