by Lisa Lace
Jack’s eyes well up.
I give him a tight hug. “Trust me, Jack. Your mom is going to be okay.”
He doesn’t answer. I wonder what’s running through his young mind. Slowly, Jack slides off my lap and leaves the room, dragging his feet behind him, his electronic game hanging from his hand. I don’t know whether to follow him or give him some time. I let him go.
I turn to Tom, letting out a long breath and letting my whole body slump. “That was hard.”
Tom pats my back. “You did great. That wasn’t easy to do.”
“I’ll stay for a couple of hours to make sure everything’s fine here, and then I’ll go.”
His eyes widen. “You’re leaving?”
“I can’t stay.”
“Why not? Zoe, I need you here to help me with them.”
I lay my hand on his knee. “Laura tells me that Megan already knows something is going on between us. It’s not appropriate for me to stay the night. She’ll read into it. Things need to be about the kids and Laura right now.”
Tom looks completely out of his depth and disappointed.
I’m disappointed, too. After a difficult beginning, it had seemed like Tom and I had finally found our stride. Now we had to put our feelings for each other aside to be there for Laura and her kids.
Will we ever find out if this is meant to be? Or is this fate telling us to give up already?
Tom
We arrive at the hospital: Megan, Jack, Zoe and me.
It’s been a long, difficult night. I didn’t sleep a wink. Laura’s bed was free, but it didn’t feel right to sleep in it, so I slept on the sofa, tossing and turning, terrified for my sister.
A difficult night was followed by a tense morning. Jack kept asking when we were going to see Mommy, and Megan didn’t say anything at all. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, but I didn’t know what to say to her. All my warm smiles were met with icy glares.
I picked Zoe up on the way to the hospital; she’s closed the store for the day to be there for Laura. When I think of how much it took for me to take time off work to visit, I realize how much dedication and love Zoe has for my family. She doesn’t think twice about dropping everything.
“Everybody ready?” I say.
Megan glares at me in the mirror. Zoe twists in her seat and reaches out to give Megan’s knee a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s go see how your mom’s doing. No call in the night, so she must be staying strong.”
“Like you said, she’s a fighter.”
We file out of the Mercedes and head into the hospital. This time, when we ask for Laura, we’re given a room number. It’s a private suite, as I requested.
The room is bright and airy. Big windows are letting in a lot of light, and all the furniture is polished to a shine. Laura has her own closet and set of drawers, a bedside table, and a standing tray on wheels for her meals. There’s a TV and a few magazines. I’m relieved to see that the room is comfortable.
It doesn’t quite undo the horror I feel when I lay eyes on Laura.
She’s lying on her bed with what looks like bolts jutting out her temples, attached to wires affixed to the head of the bed, a plastic strap under her chin. Her legs are raised over a rubber block at the knees, her lower back strapped into a belt-like device.
She’s completely immobilized by the traction, but right now, she’s not in discomfort. She’s out cold, in a medically induced coma. Her skin is gray, her eyes dark. Her blonde hair is uncombed and unwashed. I can still see some blood. I immediately look over to see if Megan has noticed.
Megan’s eyes are filled with fresh tears, her mouth hanging open. She takes strides toward Laura, but I pull her back.
“You shouldn’t touch her,” I warn. “She needs to stay put for her back to heal.”
Zoe puts her arm around Megan’s shoulders and leads her to a chair at Laura’s side. “You can hold her hand, sweetie. That shouldn’t do any harm.”
I look at Jack. He’s looking scared now, too. I wonder what all these wires and braces must look like to a five-year-old. Laura’s also fitted with a breathing tube in her throat. It’s taped down over her mouth and makes her condition appear even more serious—like she might stop breathing any moment. A heart rate monitor is clipped to her fingertip, attached to a machine that beeps regularly.
I take Jack’s hand. “Are you alright, buddy?”
He cocks his head to one side and takes a step closer to Laura. “What’s wrong with Mommy?”
I crouch down, so I’m at his level. “She’s sick, but she’s going to get better. She’s sleeping now. She’s really tired because she’s not well.”
Jack looks at Megan and sees her holding Laura’s hand, so he stands at her other side and does the same.
Zoe and I stand at the foot of the bed, watching them. Zoe looks like she’s about to cry.
She lowers her voice and leans in toward me. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“You’re here. That’s all you can do.”
“How was last night, after I left?”
“Megan stayed upstairs. Jack played a while and went to sleep. It was this morning that was tense.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I didn’t know what to do.”
Megan lets go of her Mom’s hand and heads toward the door. “I’m going to get a soda.”
Zoe follows her. “I’ll come with you.”
“No. Thanks, Aunt Zoe, but I need some time alone.”
“Do you have your cell on you?”
Megan holds up her iPhone.
Zoe nods. “Don’t go far.”
She leaves. I turn to Zoe. “Is it a good idea to let her leave?”
“She’s struggling.”
“All the more reason to keep an eye on her.”
“She’s only getting a soda.”
Twenty minutes later, Megan still hasn’t returned.
“I’ll call her,” Zoe says. She pulls out her cell and selects Megan’s number. A moment later, she frowns. “Straight to voicemail. I think she’s turned her cell off.”
“Do you have any idea where she’d have gone?”
Zoe bites her lip. “My best guess would be her boyfriend’s. Justin drives. He could have picked her up.”
“Where does Justin live?”
“Only five blocks from Laura’s.”
“Right. Try her cell one more time, and if she doesn’t answer, we should go looking for her.”
Zoe tries again with the same result. She shakes her head. “Megan has never been able to handle emotional stuff very well.”
Just like her Uncle Tom. “Don’t worry, we’ll find her.”
She bows down to kiss Laura’s forehead. “You’ve got a spirited daughter, there, Laura. Don’t worry. Aunt Zoe knows her well. We’ll be back. Hang on in there, hon.” She turns to Jack, holding out her hand. “Come on, sweetie. It’s time to go.”
“When’s Mommy coming home?”
“Soon.”
“Today?”
“A little bit longer than that.”
Jack frowns but does as he’s told. He gives Laura’s hand another squeeze, then stands on his tiptoes to kiss her cheek. “Bye, Mommy.”
“When we get in, you can make her a nice card, okay? I bet she’d love that.”
“Okay.”
I smile at Zoe. I’m so grateful for her. She knows just what she’s doing with Laura’s kids, while I’m drowning.
I’m nervous about leaving the hospital in case Megan is still around. “She could have run out,” I say. “Maybe one of us should stay here.”
“I don’t drive,” Zoe says. “It’ll have to be you. I can stay here with Jack.”
My stomach drops at the thought. I can’t imagine anything that’s more of a challenge than dealing with an emotional teenage girl at a time of crisis. I’m the only one who can go looking for her, though. I’d better learn to activate that super-uncle mode Laura was so keen for me to unlock
<
br /> I take Justin’s address, leave Zoe and Jack, and head over.
Justin lives in a small townhouse not far from Laura. When I arrive, I’m quick to race up the stairs and knock on the door. It’s answered by a middle-aged woman with an oversized cardigan and a huge beaded necklace. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Megan’s uncle. Is she here?”
The woman’s face softens into a smile. “She is. I heard about Laura. I’m so sorry. How’s she doing?”
“She’s holding in there. They say the first twenty-four hours is the most critical, and we’ve passed that point. I think we’re out of the woods for now, but there’s a long road ahead.”
“Poor thing. If you need anything at all, just let me know. I’m Tess, by the way. I’ll get Zoe for you now.”
I hear Tess calling up the stairs to Zoe. A while later, she appears at the door. I can tell she’s been crying again. I want to lay into her and ask her what she’s thinking, causing a panic when Laura’s critically ill. Then I hear Zoe’s voice in the back of my head, reminding me of all the kids have been through, and I keep my cool.
“Are you alright?” I ask her.
Megan nods silently. There’s guilt in her expression, but also defiance.
“You know, I would have given you a lift to your boyfriend’s if you wanted to see him. You didn’t need to sneak off.”
“I didn’t think you’d understand.”
“That it’s tough as shit to see your Mom lying in a hospital bed all hooked up like that? Of course, I understand. If you need some time out, nobody will think any less of you.”
I can imagine Laura’s disapproving stare in the back of my mind. Language, Tom!
My words seem to get through to Megan, though. She folds her arms across her chest and leans against the doorframe, blinking heavily against tears. “If she dies, I don’t want to remember her like that.”
“The breathing tube is only until she comes out the coma.”
“And all that other stuff? I don’t know how she can pull through when metal and string are all that’s holding her together.”
“It’s just to make sure there’s no lasting damage. If they took it all away, she’d still live. They want to give her the best chance at a full recovery, that’s all. I know it looks scary, but it’s the best thing for her. You have to trust the doctors.”
Megan shakes her head. “Doctors don’t know anything.”
“You’re talking about Mike? I mean, your dad?”
She nods.
“I know. I felt that way too when he passed. Makes you lose faith, right? I promise you, though, things will be different this time.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, Uncle Tom. I know you’re a pretty big deal in New York, but even you don’t know the future.”
I fold my own arms over my chest and offer Megan a reassuring smile. “What do you want to do here, Meg? Do you want to go back to the hospital, back to your mom’s?”
“I want to stay here.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Let me talk to Justin’s mom for a second.”
Zoe raises an eyebrow, then walks away into the house. Moments later, Tess reappears.
“Did you talk to her?”
“Yes. She wants to stay here tonight. Would that work for you?”
Tess holds up her hands. “Of course, it is. Megan’s welcome anytime.”
“She’s going through a tough time right now.”
“Say no more. I’ll take very good care of her.”
“Will you call me if there are any problems?”
“Of course. Are you staying at Laura’s?”
“I am, but you should take my cell as well.”
I give Tess my cell number and reluctantly leave.
I can hear Laura again. No sleepovers, and home by ten. I hope I’m not fucking this up.
Zoe
I went back to Laura’s after the visit to the hospital and helped Tom feed Jack and put him to bed. Tom told me that Megan was staying with Justin that night. Although I knew it was against Laura’s strict orders, I felt like Tom had done the right thing. It was best that Megan was somewhere she felt safe.
Now I was back home. It was about nine, dark outside. My apartment feels empty. After all the chaos and drama of the last twenty-four hours, it’s strange to step into a completely silent room. I’m alone.
All the sobs I’ve been holding in rise to the surface. I curl up on my bed and cry uncontrollably. I’m worried for Laura, hurting for the kids, and terrified of what will happen if she doesn’t make it. I already know that if anything happens to Laura, I wouldn’t think twice about taking the kids. I whisper prayers that it won’t come to that. Bring her home safe and well.
It’s not fair that Laura’s going through all this. First Mike, then her dad, and her mother, now this. She’s been hit by one loss after another. This latest struggle could be one too many, even for Super Mom.
My cell beeps. I turn the screen toward me.
I miss you, Zoe. I don’t know how I’d be coping with all this without you.
Tom’s words touch me, give me strength. I feel out of control and out of my depth, but in Tom’s eyes, I’m steering the ship.
I know that he’s been there for me, and for all his reluctance, he’s the one at Laura’s right now, keeping watch over Jack.
He’s having some trouble getting to sleep.
Try a Disney DVD. Frozen is his favorite.
You always know what to do.
I choke back more tears.
I don’t have any idea what I’m doing.
We’ll get through this.
There he is. My mystery man. My Tom. The one who always knows what to say to make me feel better.
I wish you were here.
I close my eyes. I wish I was there too, or that Tom was here with me. I remember the feeling of his strong arms closing around me, and the blissful connection I felt when we finally got past our disastrous first impressions.
We’d only just started something beautiful, but now somebody pressed the pause button on our love affair. And he’s only here until New Year’s.
I’m shocked at myself for feeling that way. Get your priorities straight, Zoe. Your best friend is fighting for her life, and you’re feeling sorry for yourself because your fling might not come to fruition.
Except I never saw it as a fling. I thought my mystery man was the one.
Maybe now I’ll never know.
Tom
Two days later; Laura is still not awake. Things are growing tense in the house. Jack is starting to miss his Mom. The longer Laura is comatose, the less Megan can control her emotions. And I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
It’s four p.m. on Sunday, and I’m trying to organize something to eat. “What do you want, Meg? I’ve got mushroom pizza, a frozen spaghetti, or I can make pancakes.”
Megan scowls. “I hate mushrooms, Mom doesn’t let us eat TV dinners, and who the hell eats pancakes for dinner?”
I put down the frozen boxes in my hands, and let out a long breath. “Megan, I’ve barely cooked in about a decade. I’m doing my best here. What do you say? Pancakes?”
She shakes her head. “I’m going to Justin’s for dinner. At least Tess knows how to use a stove.”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time at Justin’s. Sure you don’t want to spend a night with your Uncle Tom? We can put on some bad movies, pig out on junk food. It could be fun.”
She looks at me with disgust. “My mom has been in a coma for three days, and you want to have fun and ‘pig out’? You know she’s getting fed through a tube, right? Actually, she’s breathing through a tube, too. She’s hardly alive, and you’re not taking it seriously at all.”
I look down at the kitchen counter and give a defeated shrug. “I’m just trying to keep us distracted, Megan. I know how serious things are, but your mom wouldn’t want you to break down.”
; “You wouldn’t know what Mom would want. You don’t even know my mom.”
Another burn. They hurt a little more each time. But, I need to take a leaf out of Laura’s book and be the adult. I can’t lose my cool.
“Your mom and I used to hang out all the time when we were about your age. It’s only in recent years that we haven’t seen so much of each other. I care about your mom a lot, you know. It’s more difficult than you know to walk away from the business.”
She rolls her eyes. “You could’ve walked away any time you wanted to. You’re the boss.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“You don’t care about her. Admit it.”
“I will not. Come on, Megan. I know you’re upset about your mom, but these personal attacks are getting old. I love your mom, and I love you and Jack. Why else would I be here?”
“To hit on Aunt Zoe.”
I fix her with an unimpressed stare. “Really, Megan?”
“I know you two are hooking up.”
“Your Aunt Zoe knows the way things are done around here. She’s been a huge help.”
“She should be here more. You don’t have a clue. I’d rather have the usual sitter than you. At least she knows the most basic details about my life.”
“I’ll give you a ride to Justin’s.”
“I can walk.”
“Your Mom doesn’t want you to walk alone at this time of year.”
“Then I’ll get Justin to pick me up.”
“That’s fine. Home by ten, please.”
“I’ll try.”
I could argue with her more, but I decide against it. Justin arrives ten minutes later, and she takes off with him. She says I’m useless, and I feel it.
You’re better off in New York, Tom. You never seem to fuck it up there.
An hour later, Zoe arrives. It’s almost six o’clock. She’s brought takeout with her. Pizza.
“Thank God,” I say. “We’re starving over here. These kids are fussy eaters.”
She raises her eyebrows in surprise. “You think so? They usually gobble up everything in sight. What did you try?”