Once Perfect

by Cecy Robson

  Lety said something I couldn’t quite make out, then turned on her heel―away from Brody and toward us. Brody watched her, his chest rising and falling so fast I could see it from where we stood. “Fuck!” he yelled.

  I thought he’d race after her. Instead he stormed in the opposite direction, disappearing down the street.

  My shoulders slumped. It was all I could do not to cry for them. This wasn’t the same couple we’d met just a few hours before.

  Mateo stepped onto the sidewalk when Lety neared. “What happened?” he asked.

  Lety slowed, her face discolored and swollen from crying and her father’s blows. “We broke up.”

  “What?”

  She sobbed and held out her hands. “Come on, Teo. Do you think a guy like him would want to stay with me? After all this shit?” Her face crumpled and she ran off, her cries turning into horrible chokes.

  Mateo bowed his head. “Let’s go.”

  The absoluteness in his voice kept me from chasing after Lety. “What about your sister?”

  He shook his head and shut the back of his SUV.

  I watched him climb in and crank the engine. At first, I thought he’d leave without me. But he waited, even though it took me a long time to move.

  As soon as my seatbelt clicked in place, Mateo locked the doors and pulled away from the curb, his driving surprisingly steady. I looked back behind me where the party had resumed in full swing and to where Lety had run off. “I can’t believe things are over between them.”

  Mateo didn’t say anything, but he did slow at the end of the street. Sofia stood at the corner, still looking beautiful in her pretty pale gown despite the violence she’d experienced. A long black leather jacket draped her shoulders. My eyes widened. She waited with Killian and that was his jacket. I could tell by the way it hung on her small frame.

  Killian brushed a trailing tear from her cheek. “Shit,” Teo muttered, and lowered his window.

  I clutched his arm. “Sweetie, leave her alone. He’s being nice.” I sighed when his narrowed stare turned my way. “She deserves a smile today, don’t you think?”

  “It’s not her smile Kill wants.”

  “Teo, please.”

  Sofia took a step back from Killian when she caught her brother’s glare.

  “Wassup, Teo?” Killian asked him. His muscular arms bulged when he crossed them across his massive chest. The guy was immense, but there was something surprisingly calm about him. His voice and dark blue eyes remained relaxed. Teo, not so much.

  “Wassup with you and my sister?” Mateo snapped back. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

  I didn’t know what Teo meant by his comment, but it seemed Killian did. Killian tightened his jaw. For a moment I wasn’t sure what would happen. He glanced at Sofia, softening his posture as he took in her frightened state. “Nothing’s up, man, just walking her back and making sure she stays safe.”

  “That’s all it better be, Kill.”

  Killian placed his hand on Sofia’s back and led her in the direction of the party. Both kept their eyes on Teo until he slammed on the accelerator and sped away. “God damn it,” he said, looking into the rearview mirror.

  “Let it go,” I said gently.

  Mateo didn’t respond. But I could tell he remained royally pissed.

  I buried my body deeper into the cloth seats and huddled into my cardigan. Teo switched on the heat for me, but that was the only way he acknowledged my presence. He needed time. And I gave it to him. Jesus, it was the least I could do for him.

  I rested my head against the window, suddenly so tired. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until he pulled up to the curb in front of my house.

  I jolted fully awake but confused. “I thought I was staying with you tonight.”

  Mateo stared straight ahead. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why?” He wouldn’t answer me. The bottom fell out of my stomach. “Look, if you need to be alone tonight because of what happened, that’s one thing. But if you…”

  Anger and something else dulled Mateo’s strong features. “I think we should stop seeing each other.”

  “What?” Again, he wouldn’t answer me, his silence feeling like a physical strike. “Teo, why are you doing this?”

  He veered toward me. “Evie, we’re going nowhere here. Can’t you see it? I can.”

  This time, I was the one who was pissed. “Were we still going nowhere when you pulled me into bed this morning?” He returned his focus to the street. “Because if we were, it sure didn’t seem that way.”

  He squared his jaw. “It’s over, Evie. It needs to be.”

  He might as well have stabbed me in the heart for how bad it hurt. “Damn it, don’t do this to us, Teo.”

  “We don’t have a future together, Evie.”

  “Don’t say that.” My voice cracked. “I love you. And you told me you loved me, too.”

  Mateo squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re going to graduate soon. You’re going to work in a hospital and meet a doctor…”

  “Don’t.”

  “…a resident…”

  I hugged my body, shaking my head. “Stop it.”

  “…or some other guy with a degree who can give you more than I ever could.” He faced me then, his expression bruised. “You deserve it. I’m not saying you don’t. But I’m telling you, I’m not the guy who can give it to you.”

  “I don’t want a fucking doctor or anyone else. I want you!” My tears poured out of me. “You’ve given me more than anyone ever has. Why can’t you see what you mean to me?”

  “Fuck, Evie. Do you see where I’m from and where I’m headed? This shit you saw today―it’s practically nothing compared to what’s gone on in the past. Sofia is going to end up like our mother―an abused woman who’d rather stand by and watch her husband beat her and her children before she’ll ever say anything against him!”

  I froze, letting him speak and release everything he’d kept from me.

  He curled against the steering wheel, even though the motion caused him enough pain to press a hand against his ribs. “My father’s been making me bleed since before I could walk. He used to tell me what he was going to do to me, long before his first punch―just so I’d know how bad he was going to fuck me up. And Lety? She was conceived from rape―something our father throws in her face like she owes him for being born. Forget all the times she’s been hit. That’s what’s messed with her head the most.” He scoffed. “And what probably ruined her chances with a decent guy.”

  “Is that why you’re breaking up with me? You’re messed up in the head so you don’t deserve to be happy?”

  Mateo fell completely still except for his breathing, which was heavy and ragged with anger.

  I removed my seatbelt, then crawled across the center console and onto his lap. He didn’t fight me, so I kissed him. When he kissed me back, and I felt those lips against mine, I knew I wouldn’t be able to let him go. My arms wound around his neck. “You’re the most important person in this world to me,” I whispered. “I’m begging you, don’t leave me.”

  Mateo’s voice quavered. “Evie, you’re making this shit a lot harder for me than it already is.”

  I choked out a sob. “It can’t be any harder than what you did for me today. You fought your father for me, Mateo. Jesus, I can’t imagine what that did to you.”

  His breath quickened as if he was remembering, and his grip to my waist tightened. “Ev, for all that my father’s fucked up, I’m still his son. I bash people’s faces in. I have a criminal record. I’ve messed up my life―just like he always said I would.” He swallowed hard. “I’ve seen where you came from, and see where you’re headed. I’m never going to be good enough for you. I was an ass for thinking I could.”

  My body trembled with how hard I cried. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’ve wondered if I’m good enough for you?” He slowly raised his chin. I had his attention then. I searched his face while my pent-up t
ears dripped onto my dress. “I was raped repeatedly by my father, Mateo. And even though I know it wasn’t my fault, I’ve never felt so dirty in my life.”

  His hands cupped my face, his expression crushed. “Baby…why the hell would you think that?”

  The softness in his voice triggered more of my tears. “I can’t help how I feel, I just do. Every time I think of what he did to me.” I took a breath, struggling to continue. “But my biggest fear was that you’d feel the same―that you’d think I was this filthy thing that wasn’t worth loving.”

  His features hardened and his eyes bored into mine. “I would never think that about you.”

  “And I don’t think less of you because of what your father did to you, or because you’ve been in prison, or because you haven’t led the perfect life.” My hands gripped his wrists. “Our fathers were not good men, Mateo. That doesn’t mean we don’t deserve good in our lives.” I let my forehead fall against his. “You’re the good in mine. Please, let me stay the good in yours….”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Graduation had finally arrived. All that hard work, all the late hours, all the sacrifice—all of it had finally paid off. My excitement wouldn’t let me keep still. I gripped the bottom of my seat as the department president stepped onto the podium to announce the names of the graduates.

  It seemed to take forever. And when the moment came, I lost my ever-loving mind. The president smiled. “And graduating at the top of his class, Mateo Tres Santos.”

  Mateo’s family and friends, including everyone from our old group at Excess, leapt to their feet, joining me as I screamed my head off. Even from the podium Mateo spotted me, and fired me that wink and grin I so loved.

  “That’s my boy!” Ant hollered.

  Lourdes squeezed my arm. “Congratulations, nena!”

  I twirled my engagement ring, suddenly nervous. I’d invited everyone who loved Mateo to the ceremony, and also back to our new house to celebrate. With so many people, I hoped I’d made enough food.

  God, what a crazy few months it had been just since my graduation. At times, the hours passed so quickly my head would spin from the momentum. Other times, like during my slower shifts at the hospital, the minutes dragged by, painfully slow. That said, we were moving forward, and because of it, I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

  Mateo and I had had our setbacks. I continued to work through my childhood trauma, and he through his. Yet the one thing that endured was our relationship.

  Life hadn’t initially been good to either of us. But we were good to each other. And regardless of the demons of our pasts, nothing would change that.

  Mateo was swarmed the minute he left the stage―by his sisters, Dee and her little girl, Noelle, Ant, Big Chris, Sam and Elaine, and a brood of family members who couldn’t have been more happy.

  Ant clapped him on the shoulder. “Mateo the mechanic.” He jerked his chin at him. “What’s the matter, Teo? Bouncing not good enough for you, brother?”

  “No, it paid off.” He motioned to Sam. “Gave me a silent partner to open my shop with.”

  Sam smiled like the proud boss he was and shook Mateo’s hand. “Make me the money we’ve got planned, son, and I’ll stay silent.” He yelled to me when he caught me weaving my way through the cluster of bodies. “Malibu. You coming or what?”

  I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Yes, Sam, I’m coming.”

  Mateo’s grin widened when I finally reached him. I squealed when he lifted me in his powerful arms and spun me, kissing me hard and not caring who saw us. His smile softened as he slowly lowered me to the floor. “You know, I’m only here because of you.”

  “No, that was all you, babe.” I shook my head. “God, I’m so proud of you.”

  He bent forward and pulled me closer, whispering in my ear, “Te amo, Evie.”

  I clutched him tighter, my eyes welling with thick, girly tears. “I love you, too, Mateo.”

  I did. And that in itself was perfect.

  To my husband, Jamie, and our children. Thank you for your love, strength, and laughter.

  Acknowledgments

  To my wonderful editor, Sue Grimshaw, who fell as hard for Mateo as Evelyn and I did. And to the amazing people at Random House for helping me bring Evelyn’s story to life.

  To my agent and bestie, Nicole Resciniti. Nic, I promise to freak out the next time you have fantastic news to share and to not freak out over the little things. Okay, maybe not. But thank you for understanding and smiling all the same.

  To my husband, Jamie, who deals with more freak-outs than Nicole and still manages to laugh, point, and find me endearing. Love you, babe.

  To Frank Tedesco for all his knowledge about clubs and bouncers, and for always giving me a giggle or two. Frank, I don’t care what anyone says, you’re funny 80 to 90 percent of the time.

  To Detective Elaine Stewart, the members of the Morris County Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit, and to all those in law enforcement and victim services who work tirelessly to help those affected by abuse and assault. You have my respect now and always.

  And finally, to those who can relate to Evelyn and Mateo. Like them, you deserve good in your lives. Don’t be afraid to seek help, shelter, or someone to tell. Abuse is never your fault, and never okay. For more information, contact RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (www.rainn.org).

  BY CECY ROBSON

  Shattered Past

  Once Perfect

  Weird Girls

  A Curse Awakened (novella)

  The Weird Girls (novella)

  Sealed with a Curse

  A Cursed Embrace

  A Cursed Moon (novella)

  Cursed by Destiny

  A Cursed Bloodline

  Photo: Kate Gledhill Photography

  CECY ROBSON is the New Adult author of Once Perfect, Once Loved, and Once Pure and the award-winning author of the Weird Girls urban fantasy romance series. A self-proclaimed professional napper, Cecy counts among her talents a jaw-dropping knowledge of useless trivia, the ability to make her hair big, and a knack for breaking into song, despite her family’s vehement protests. A full-time writer, registered nurse, wife, and mother living in the Great Northwest, Cecy enjoys spending time with her family and silencing the yappy characters in her head by telling their stories.

  www.cecyrobson.com

  Facebook.com/Cecy.Robson.Author

  @CecyRobson

  www.goodreads.com/goodreadscomCecyRobsonAuthor

  The Editor’s Corner

  Halloween is my favorite holiday, and every year I decorate my house to the nines with ghosts and goblins, jack-o-lanterns, and spider webs. There’s nothing like good old scary fun to get your heart racing…well, almost nothing. Romance novels may not be frightening, but they do make your heart beat faster…just in a different way. Our new Loveswept releases will give you heart-pounding entertainment, I promise.

  Our first release in October is Cecy Robson’s raw and steamy series debut, Once Perfect, which is perfect for fans of Monica Murphy and J. Lynn. Then comes USA Today bestselling author Sawyer Bennett’s Alex, the first novel in a new hockey series that’s hot enough to melt the ice. Then we end the month with a bang with Sidney Halston’s Full Contact, the sexy second book in her fun Worth the Fight MMA series. And to kick off the holiday season, we’re also re-releasing three tantalizing holiday novellas from amazing authors: Play with Me, a warm and enticing Thanksgiving romance from Lisa Renee Jones; Snowfall, a moving Christmas tale from Mary Ann Rivers; and After Midnight, an explosive New Year’s story from Serena Bell.

  In Flirt news, Lori Adams reaches new heights in Unforgiven, the final installment in The Soulkeepers series, where questions are answered, secrets are revealed, and immortal love is tested. And we also have an exciting debut from Renita Pizzitola, Just a Little Crush, an emotional novel of heartache and seduction, where a college freshman’s little crush could prove to be a huge mistake or the first step to forever.

  ~Hap
py Romance!

  Gina Wachtel

  Associate Publisher

  Read on for an excerpt from the next Shattered Past

  Once Loved

  by Cecy Robson

  Chapter One

  I abandoned the locker room in a rush. I’d barely spoken to anyone on my crew team, and while no one had said anything directly to me, I caught every stare, every whisper. Despite the dean’s best efforts, word had spread that the man arrested the previous day was my father. I wanted to scream. Carlos had meant to humiliate me, and he’d succeeded. Next to his fists, humiliation was his favorite weapon.

  My duffel bag slapped against my back as I hurried through the athletic center, my steps slowing as I passed a group of soccer players. “Isn’t that Lety Tres Santos?” the girl in the center asked her teammates. “The one whose tripped-out father beat up the campus police?”

  I whirled around. “Yup. That’s me.” They exchanged stunned glances. They hadn’t expected me to respond and weren’t prepared for my reaction. “Anything else you want know?”

  The three of them shut their mouths. It was easy for them to talk. Their fathers hadn’t arrived on campus out of control. Their fathers weren’t ex-cons in and out of jail. And their fathers hadn’t spent a lifetime hurting them. I couldn’t say the same.

  Carlos had come here only one other time, demanding money for drugs. If there hadn’t been witnesses, he would’ve struck me for denying him. My father was many things: an addict, bipolar, and all-around asshole. But stupid was not one of his traits. So he’d left, but not before calling me a bitch in front of my friends.