Last Resort

by Susan Lewis

  ‘How did she take it when you told her you weren’t coming back?’

  ‘Oh, pretty well,’ he said cuttingly. ‘She had herself a new boyfriend by then, someone who was satisfying her quite adequately, she told me. But if I wanted any satisfaction in that area then I’d better just forget it.’ Anger suddenly sparked in his eyes. ‘There have been times, I can tell you, when I’ve come so close to putting my hands round that woman’s throat and wringing the god-damned life out of her. Anything just to end this treadmill of misery she’s got me on. There’s no reasoning with her: she went beyond that a long time ago. She even told me that herself, the same time she told me to forget about other women. In fact, I hadn’t had a relationship with a woman in I don’t know how long by then. But her timing was perfect, because it was right after that, only days in fact, that you came into my life.’

  He dropped his head and began slowly to shake it; then, to her surprise, she realized he was laughing. ‘Right from the minute you flung that damned tiramisu in my face,’ he said, ‘I knew I was in trouble.’ He turned to look at her and as his eyes softened with love she felt her heart reaching out to him. ‘If you only knew what it was like to be around you at that time,’ he said. ‘You were like a breath of fresh air. No, you were more than that: you were like the sun coming out after the longest winter ever. You were so alive, so full of life and crazy paradoxes . . .’ He looked incredulously into her eyes. ‘You made me laugh when I’d almost forgotten what it was like to laugh. When I was with you I could be myself in a way I hadn’t dared to be in so long. I used to pretend that everything was normal, that this was all there was in my life, just you and me and the magazine we were creating. I loved it when you got mad at me because I knew you couldn’t stay that way. Watching you laugh when you were trying so hard not to, well, I can’t explain what it did to me. I sometimes wonder if you’ve got any idea of the kind of effect you have on people. I was totally knocked out by you. And when I saw that your lack of confidence in your appearance was only making you more beautiful in my eyes . . . well, that was when I realized how hard I was falling. And once I knew it and started to look at you that way, I could see that to love you and share my life with you was all I wanted. Except, what life did I have to offer? Besides, I didn’t know how you felt about me. And then, when I heard you were seeing Mureau . . .’

  He was looking deep into her eyes as again he started to shake his head. ‘I thought I would kill him,’ he said quietly. ‘The very idea of him even touching you . . . I knew what it was about, of course. I knew he’d done it to get back at me. That’s not to say I don’t think he had any feelings for you, because I think he did. But, take it from me, he’s never got over Jenny leaving him, the same way Gabriella’s never got over my affair with Jenny when she was pregnant. I think, if the truth were known, they keep it alive for each other.

  ‘Anyway, you know yourself how you came to meet Mureau. The first time, at that vernissage, was just a coincidence – at least, so Esther tells me. Mureau knew about you, of course, but he didn’t know who you were until Esther told him.’ He grimaced. ‘Apparently, Mureau encouraged her to drop little nuggets of information about him that would whet your appetite as a journalist and get you wanting to meet him. She did it because she’s got a real soft spot for Mureau, will do almost anything for him – for both of us, actually, because in that addled head of hers she’s adopted us as her sons and sees it as her duty to indulge us. It was typical of her to overlook the real implications of you and Mureau meeting; all she thought about was the romantic element of it all, which was something Mureau played on. Though, in fairness, I have to admit that she didn’t know the whole story about how Mureau and I had become involved with each other until I told her recently. Neither did Wally, but he was more prepared to be loyal to me: he knew who was paying him. But then Mureau managed to get to him too. He put the pressure on Wally to keep his mouth shut and, like a god-damned fool, Wally did. If he’d come to me when he should have I could have stopped all this happening, but Mureau had the old woman in the palm of his hand, and Wally – well, Wally’s price is easily affordable to a man as rich as Mureau. And, of course, they’re both in way over their heads; they don’t really have the first idea how to handle something like this, which is hardly surprising, really, when most don’t.

  ‘Still,’ he shrugged, ‘you and Mureau met without me knowing anything about it. You know what, though? When I did get to find out, I could never make myself believe that you would run off with him. I don’t know why. I guess I just thought that I and Sylvia and the magazine meant enough to you, that you wouldn’t go for it when Mureau asked you – which, of course, I knew he would.’

  ‘You’re right.’ Penny smiled sadly. ‘You and Sylvia and the magazine did mean enough to me and I wouldn’t have gone were it not for the fact that when I called you, the night I went, Marielle told me that you had gone to collect Gabriella and the boys. I’m not proud of the way I ran away from that – in truth, I’m bitterly ashamed of it. But the thought of having to stay in France and watch you reconcile with your wife . . . Of course I didn’t know then all that had gone on between you. I didn’t even know how much I loved you till then. I just hadn’t seen it. I suppose I wouldn’t let myself because I just couldn’t imagine what you would see in someone like me. Then, when I realized how I felt . . . Well, I never knew I was such a coward until I ran away like that.’

  ‘Hey, come on,’ he said, reaching for her hand. ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’ve all made mistakes and you’re looking at the guy who’s made a lot more than most. It was just a shame you didn’t call half an hour later. If you had, I’d have answered the phone myself and could have told you that Gabriella didn’t show. She’s always been fond of doing that – telling me she’s coming, with the boys, then backing out at the last minute. That time she’d even called from the airport in Miami to tell me she was about to get on the plane. So I didn’t know until the connecting flight came into Nice that she wasn’t on it. Anyway,’ he smiled, linking her fingers through his, ‘what’s important now is that I’ve managed to get you back.’

  Penny’s eyes dropped to their hands; then, bringing them back to his, she said, ‘But at what cost to yourself?’

  He grimaced. ‘Well, I guess we’ll know that in the next few days. I don’t suppose I’ve left either Gabriella or Mureau in any doubt now how I feel about you and, of course, Mureau’s already in custody. So I’m in their hands and it all hangs on how committed they are to seeing me go down.’

  ‘How committed do you think they are?’

  ‘I’d say about a hundred per cent, especially Mureau. I really don’t think he counted on me doing what I did. I think he truly believed that he could take you from me, fit you up the way he did by planting the heroin, then spring you from jail so that you’d be on the run too, and in order to save my own skin I would do nothing about it. But the hell was I just going to stand by and watch you ruin your life. I knew he wouldn’t have given you the whole picture and I knew you well enough to be certain you’d never go along with it if you did know. All that baffled me then was why you went at all, but of course we have rotten timing to thank for that. Well, rotten timing and Marielle, who’s been doing her damnedest to get rid of you ever since you arrived and managed it in a way none of us could have foreseen, least of all her.’

  He gave a wry smile. ‘Beware of fools, eh? She was always playing out of her league, but she’s arrogant enough and stupid enough to think otherwise. Stirling used her to try to get information on me that didn’t exist – at least, not where the magazine was concerned, and that was all she had access to. But of course she was the one who told him you were seeing Mureau and in turn he told me. And I blew it! He knew instantly the way I felt about you then, and of course he told Gabriella in the hope she’d start composing her little eulogy of my sins. Which, I don’t doubt, she is reciting right now.’

  To Penny’s amazement he suddenly started to grin, and f
or the first time that morning she saw the old, familiar humour dance in his eyes. ‘What?’ she said. ‘What is it?’

  He laughed. ‘There’s a twist to the tale that Gabriella knows nothing about, though whether it’s going to do me any good has yet to be seen. But old Stirling, the guy I managed to get locked up by his own people, the guy who’s vowed to see me rotting in jail – or, preferably, hell – for all eternity, has developed a bit of an attachment to me. I’m serious,’ he said, when Penny’s eyes widened with incredulity. ‘We’ve spent the past week together, liquidating my assets, so to speak, and flying God only knows how many millions back to the US tax authorities, and during that time I told him the whole story. He’s seeing things a bit differently now and, though there’s no getting away from the fact that I have committed crimes, he’s not going to push it. Of course, he’s got no sway with Gabriella and Mureau, and he knows that between them they can stitch me up good and proper, but he’s prepared to put in a word with the DA.’

  ‘What does that mean? That you might not have to go to jail?’

  ‘At best that’s what it means, but I don’t want to hold out too much hope on that score. Like I said, I am guilty of certain offences; it’s just dependent on how far Gabriella will go – whether she perjures herself or makes a clean breast of how she got me involved. Not that it will excuse me, but there might be a case for extenuating circumstances. Anyway, it’s her evidence that will count, more so than Mureau’s.’

  To Penny it seemed totally self-deluding to believe that Gabriella might suddenly find the compassion to see that she’d made him pay enough, but it was a delusion she was prepared to hang on to if only for the time being. ‘So what happens next?’ she asked, pulling him towards her.

  ‘We wait for the phone call,’ he said, propping his head on his hand in front of her and running his other hand over the ‘V’ of her crossed calves.

  ‘From whom?’ she said.

  ‘Stirling. He knows where we are. I called him yesterday while you were still asleep to let him know. He’s given me his word he won’t send in the marines, not yet anyway. Seems he’s a bit of a romantic at heart, but he does a pretty good job of hiding it. Anyway, he reckons he can trust me, which he can, and that I’ll get myself back there just as soon as things start really hotting up.’

  ‘That’s quite a risk he’s running, considering what a fool you’ve made of him in the past.’

  ‘He said much the same thing himself, but in his own, uniquely eloquent way. And would you like to hear what else he said? He said he’s counting on you to get me back there, because you he definitely trusts. Strange guy, huh, when you just ran off with a known criminal the way you did.’

  Penny’s eyes narrowed, making him grin, but as he began to massage her calf she lost her train of thought for a moment. ‘So who’d have thought it?’ she said. ‘Wyatt Earp does an about-turn . . . By the way, did he ever tell you what he was doing in my bedroom? It was him, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah, it was him. My guess is he was hoping to trap Mureau and when he found you were alone he decided to avail himself of the opportunity for a little chat about me, or Mureau – whichever one of us took your fancy that night.’

  ‘Very droll,’ she commented drily. ‘Anyway, what about the Delaneys? What’s going to happen to them now?’

  He shrugged. ‘If they’re lucky, they’ll get to stay right where they are. If not, they could find themselves up on charges of their own.’

  Penny was frowning thoughtfully.

  ‘What is it?’ he said.

  ‘Nothing particularly important,’ she answered. ‘I was just wondering about the night of the launch. Christian was planning on coming, so was it you who talked him out of it?’

  He nodded. ‘Wally told me earlier in the day and I know Mureau well enough to know what a kick he’d have got out of doing something like that. So, as you say, I talked him out of it.’

  Penny was shaking her head. They’re a pretty adept pair of liars, both Christian and Esther Delaney,’ she remarked. ‘Christian, well, that doesn’t surprise me, but Esther . . . I must be losing my touch, because I’d have thought I’d have easily been able to see through someone like her. And to think that, all this time, she’s managed to throw me off the track the way she has and keep it hidden from me that she knows you.’

  ‘Oh, she’s a shrewd little cookie when she wants to be,’ he said. ‘And if there was ever one explicit instruction I gave were she ever to meet you – I didn’t know then that you were going to move in right next door to the woman – it was that she never let you know anything about my involvement with either of them or with Mureau. I guess she never did, but the shame of it now is that I didn’t see her more often, which was what she wanted. The trouble was, I couldn’t take the way she fussed around me, mothering me and driving me up the wall with her efforts to get “her boys”, as she referred to Christian and me, to see eye to eye. Anyway, she’s not someone I want to discuss right now. The person I want to discuss is you. You seem to have taken all this pretty calmly considering there’s every chance that our time together’s going to be somewhat limited. You do love me, don’t you? I mean, you will miss me if I go?’

  Knowing he was teasing her, Penny raised her eyebrows. ‘Yes, I love you,’ she said. ‘But I’m not going to think about how much I’ll miss you if you go until it happens. And the irony of having imagined myself in love with one man who was wanted by the law only to discover that the man I really love is also wanted by the law, has not escaped me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Maybe my life was just running too smoothly before and the Divine Powers That Be decided it was time to bump me around a bit. But the fact that they gave me you at the same time is enough to make sure I can weather it. I love you, I’m going to be there for you no matter what, and to go to pieces now, which is in fact what I feel like doing, isn’t going to get either of us anywhere. So what I shall do, as soon as we get back to France, is make damned sure that magazine continues to work for you, for your sons and . . .’

  ‘For us?’ he whispered.

  ‘Yes, for us,’ she smiled. ‘But until we do go back I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t at least try to make the most of what we have here.’

  His eyes were imbued with irony. ‘I love you,’ he said.

  Looking down at him, she started to smile again, but her lips faltered as his hand moved in under the hem of her dress. Then, bringing his eyes back to hers, in a voice that wasn’t quite steady he said, ‘I want to make love to you.’

  Desire instantly masked the laughter in her eyes and sliding down the bed to lie next to him she rolled into his embrace, pressing her body into his. They kissed for a long, sensuous time, allowing the needs of their bodies to flow unattended as they held each other tightly. Feeling his hardness straining between them, she lowered her arm, opened his shorts and took him in her hand. As he groaned into her open mouth she opened her eyes and watched his face tense, his long lashes fluttering as his desire mounted.

  Then his eyes opened too and, gazing far into hers, he rolled on to her, pressing his hips hard into hers before moving down her body with his mouth, unbuttoning her dress as he went. When she was naked he silently took off his own clothes, then lay over her again, enclosing her body with his. It was a long time before he entered her as they lay there kissing and looking into each other’s eyes and feeling the need of each other’s bodies pulling them closer and closer together.

  After they had made love he rolled on to his back beside her and lay quietly holding her hand until the quickening of their breath began to quiet and they could hear the soothing rhythm of the waves and the gentle swish of palm fronds. The honeyed scent of sea-grapes wafted in through the open windows, sweetening the air. His hand tightened on hers as at last he turned to look at her; then he pulled her tightly into his arms and held her as the tears ran from her eyes.

  ‘It’s OK,’ he whispered, kissing her hair. ‘Come on now, it’s going to be a
ll right.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a strangled voice. ‘It’s just that I love you so much and it seems so . . . Oh God, I’m sorry. I promised myself I’d be strong for you, and look at me. I’ll have myself together in a minute. It’s just that . . .’ Sniffing, she lifted her head to look at him. ‘Oh God, David, I don’t want you to go. I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it.’

  ‘Yes, you will,’ he told her. ‘Besides, it might not come to that.’

  Shaking her head and looking deep into his eyes, she said, ‘I can feel it, David. There’s no point trying to hide it from me, because I know what you’re thinking.’

  ‘You do?’ He smiled.

  ‘You think the worst is going to happen, don’t you?’ she said.

  Sighing, he pulled her back into his arms. ‘We’re going to have to face it, my darling, that there’s every chance it will.’

  Chapter 25

  THE NEXT THREE days were days that Penny would remember for the rest of her life. The island was an idyllic retreat from the world, its wild beauty, unspoilt by tourism and consisting of no more than the scattered casitas, which made up the one luxurious hotel, and a small airstrip. Though they occasionally saw the other guests now, no communication was forced upon them and they sought none. Exclusivity and privacy were paramount in this Utopian world that sat like a precious emerald in a shimmering bed of aquamarine. Once or twice they dined in the restaurant overlooking the moonlit pool while the gentle sounds of Filipino love songs drifted hauntingly over the terrace. But on the whole they took their meals in their casita, feeding each other and teasing each other in a way they would want no one to witness.