by Bijou Hunter
“Shut up,” Shane growls.
“I just want that clear,” River says, putting up his hands defensively. “I mean, she’ll be around here, and I don’t want her thinking I iced her dad.”
“Iced,” Shelby says and flashes a grin at Taylor. “He’s such a Scorsese.”
“A regular Joe Pesci.”
“Dingbats,” River mutters when they laugh at him.
I use their little fake tiff to feel up Shane. He studies my face, finds I’m not upset, and then smiles like he wants me naked under him. That’s a real fine look on his handsome face.
“I would like food if you have food. Though I am starting to feel as if the food is a con that’s not going to happen.”
Shaking his head, Shane breaks out of his awkward, angry mood and looks over the containers set out near the grill. He makes me a plate—despite my reassuring him that I can hold it myself—and adds far too much pork and potato salad.
“Would you like a beer?” Shelby asks me. “Or, um, what else do we have?”
“Kool-Aid,” Taylor mutters. “For all the kids that show up here.”
“For fuck’s sake,” River growls at his friend, “my little brother is sitting right there. Don’t embarrass the fucker.”
“God gave you all those good looks to make up for your nothing personality,” Maverick mutters in a hard voice.
“Projection, bitch.”
“No wrestling!” Shelby hollers and points at the two men. “No roughhousing. No aggressive hand puppets. Nothing. We have a guest.”
“I don’t mind violence as long as it’s not directed at me,” I say, trying the potato salad.
“Speaking of violence against you,” Shelby says and glances at Taylor, “we do plan to beat down your sisters.”
“Okay.”
“It’s a welcome-to-our-friendship gift.”
“And because I can’t do it,” Shane explains.
“He’s too sexist,” Taylor insists. “He holds an outdated view of women.”
“They’re weird,” Shane tells me. “Ignore them.”
“But they’re your friends. Doesn’t that mean you’re weird too?”
Shelby, River, and Taylor give Shane an odd look. “Well?” Shelby finally says. “We’re waiting.”
“Every group has a normal one. I’m this group’s non-silly Billy goose fuck.”
“I’m the normal one in my group. No, it’s Max.”
“Is Max the one who hooks up with Utah?” River asks.
“No, that’s Hugh. Max is a girl, so I doubt Utah would have much interest in her.”
“A girl, you say?” River murmurs, sliding closer. “Is she pretty?”
“No, and she doesn’t date bikers.”
“I thought you didn’t date bikers,” Taylor says and crosses her arms.
I glance at Shane, who cocks an eyebrow. Shrugging, I admit, “I’m weak. It’s why I smoke too much pot and drink too much booze. When I want something, I can’t tell myself no. That’s why I made an exception for Shane, but Max has amazing self-control.”
“We’ll see.”
“Hey, didn’t you get sucked off by Kelsi too?” I ask, and Shane bursts into laughter. “Max isn’t going to let that slide.”
“You did,” River says and frowns at Shane.
“I’m weak, and Shane’s hot. Max isn’t weak, and I’m not sure she’d be interested in you anyway.”
“Eat that, Majors!” Shane says and flips off River.
The men look ready to attack each other until Shelby throws out her hand. “I will seriously crack open one of your nut sacks if this lovely afternoon dissolves into sweaty man stank.”
“I wore extra deodorant for just this reason,” River says as his gaze holds Shane’s.
Maverick sighs. “This is why I never want to come over.”
“Weak sauce,” Taylor teases and joins him on the bench. “What a little twat.”
“Shelby, this one smells of cum,” Maverick announces. “Better get the hose.”
Everyone’s attention turns to Taylor, who shrugs. “I like cock on occasion.”
“Right there with you, sister,” Shelby says, and Shane rolls his eyes.
“Do you like cock?” Taylor asks me.
“Yes, but I just call him Shane.”
“Bam!” River says and finally backs off.
Shane just grins at me as if I did something badass. Admitting I like fucking him just seems like common sense. Who would believe I didn’t find this fine specimen drool-worthy?
THE CHAPTER WHERE MISTER ROMANCE GETS AN EGO BOOST
THE ROMANTIC
All my life, I’ve lived in River’s shadow. I didn’t mind until I met Ramona. Having her swoon over him might have sent me into a homicidal rage that his balls would never recover from. I couldn’t have this particular woman desire him over me. Well, I don’t want her hot for anyone else, but the River thing would have cut the deepest.
I’m relieved when she shows so little interest in River. Most women can’t help wanting to rub against him a little. I’d probably fuck him too if I was a chick, but Ramona is all about me. I fully support her desire for the tall, dark, and handsome option over the more obvious blond bitch choice.
Another worry that’s bugged me for weeks was whether Ramona would get along with my sister and friends. My life revolves around these people. If she hates them, how can we build something without them involved? Well, we fucking can’t, obviously.
That’s why I’m happier than a cokehead on payday when Ramona and Shelby start chatting like old friends over a shared favorite movie.
“‘Club Dread’ was my first Bill Paxton movie,” Ramona says, and I’m literally horrified to learn she’s never seen “Aliens” or “Weird Science.” Yet she’s seen “Twister.” The chick was not raised right, that’s for sure.
“They’re classics,” I explain.
“I don’t watch science fiction.”
“They’re not bad,” Taylor says from nearby. “‘Aliens’ more than ‘Weird Science.’”
“I know the soundtrack from ‘Weird Science.’”
“We should watch it tonight,” Shelby insists. “Are you staying the night? I can hang out with you and watch movies you should have seen years ago.”
My sister clearly plans to bogart my girlfriend to have someone to help her get through the night.
“I can’t stay over,” Ramona announces. “I didn’t bring my stuff.”
“I have stuff,” Shelby says despite me sending very obvious “shut the fuck up” signals.
Ramona looks at me, catches what I’m doing, and rolls her eyes. “Your brother doesn’t want me to sleep over. He’s not ready for that kind of commitment.”
“Wait, what?”
“Isn’t that what you’re saying with your eyes?”
Frowning, I completely miss how she’s fucking with me. “No, I’m telling Shelby to leave you alone.”
“You leave me alone,” Shelby hisses. “Never speak to me again.”
“I will never stop speaking to you,” I growl at her. “I will record my voice so you will hear me when I’m not around.”
“That actually sounds lovely. Thank you.”
Sharing her smile, I wrap an arm around Ramona’s shoulders. “I’ll get on that later.”
“Are you really not staying over?” Shelby asks Ramona.
“I didn’t plan to,” she says and shrugs. “I don’t have stuff I need to sleep over.”
“I can pay your friends to bring your stuff,” I suggest despite knowing Ramona doesn’t want to stay the night. I can’t seem to stop myself from pushing now that Shelby has tagged herself into the battle.
“Or you can stay over at her place,” Taylor says because she fucking loves playing the antagonist.
I frown at my longtime friend, who smiles and whispers something to Maverick. The sullen shithead gives me a smirk. I don’t fall for their crap. Instead, my focus remains on Ramona.
“Or
we can fuck, and then I can go home,” she says and sticks a bud in her right ear. “Spending the night seems overrated.”
When Shelby opens her mouth to disagree, I stretch my leg out to gently kick her. She frowns at me, and I frown back. River stops staring at his phone and remembers the rest of us exist.
“I don’t sleep over with the chicks I date,” he announces, making me wonder if he was actually checking his phone or just trying to seem as if he wasn’t listening. “I need my privacy.”
“You’re very diva-like,” I say, nodding. “It’s true.”
“I like to decompress in my personal space.”
“Decompress from fucking what?” I ask, glad to have a distraction from Ramona’s increasing stress level. “Getting laid and having your ass kissed?”
“That shit takes a lot of effort on my part. I don’t just lie still during sex like some lazy pissants.”
“How hard can it be to move that much when you’re known for getting to the finish line so quickly?” I mock. “Go-Go.”
River’s amusement dies immediately. “I never should have let that name stick.”
“No, you really shouldn’t have, but here we are, Speed Racer.”
Ramona snickers behind her hand while Shelby sighs.
“I can’t believe you’re bad in bed,” she tells River like she has a million times. “What a waste of a hot bod.”
“I’m not having this conversation again,” River grumbles while shooting a frown at his amused brother. Then he looks at Ramona and adds, “I run fast. That’s why they call me that.”
“Okay,” she giggles.
“He does everything fast,” Taylor says and then adds before he can throw a fit, “Like kick ass and the dishes.”
River snorts. “No one washes the fucking dishes as fast as I do.”
“No, you’re like a superhero. Now calm down about having a stupid nickname.”
“I don’t even need a nickname. I already have a cool fucking real name.”
“Yes, you do, you big, fast fucker,” Shelby coos. When River gives her a look he throws at girls at the club, she adds, “I think I just orgasmed a little.”
I whisper to Ramona, “I’m sorry. They’re gross like this every single day.”
Her gaze finds me, and she blurts out, “How much will you pay my friends to bring my stuff?”
“Hundred bucks,” I say and then wonder if she’s testing me. Did I give the wrong answer?
“I don’t want them to miss out on money.”
“That’s why you’ll stay?” I ask, frowning.
“No, I’m staying because I get impulsive from time to time.”
Smiling, I kiss her forehead and then her sweet lips. Ramona seems so small next to me, surrounded by the lot of us. That incredible urge to protect her returns, and I’m sure I’d bully her into staying the night if she hadn’t agreed on her own. Though Shelby and my tag-team action likely pushed her to say yes. Or maybe she just wants her poor-as-fuck friends to make an extra buck.
I used to think Ramona was an open book. However much her emotions are written all over her face, the reasons behind those feelings remain a mystery. I’m both relieved to know she can protect herself by hiding from others and irritated that I can’t dig around in her head and know her every thought.
THE LEGACY
I had a plan. Kelsi and Hugh pumped me up this morning, so I’d stay focused. No big choices today. I would go to Shane’s house, meet his sister and friends, eat lunch, hang around, maybe ride his dick, and then return home. Nothing more complicated.
“Don’t agree to anything besides dinner tomorrow,” Kelsi insisted.
“What if he wants me to stay for dinner tonight?” I asked.
“Suck his dick, so he’ll forget he asked the question and then ask to go home while his brain is shut off.”
Even Max texted earlier to remind me, “DON’T AGREE TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT DINNER TOMORROW!!!”
I know why they’re worried. I’m impulsive and eager to please. Which would be fine if I were capable of walking back choices I’ve made. I couldn’t with Fuse, and I’ll never wash off that decision. I took the job in Cleveland while upset over what happened with Fuse. Then I was too chickenshit to walk that back.
Too often, I end up doing things I don’t want to do. I know that. My friends know that. My mom knows it too. That’s why she keeps wanting to meet with me. If we talk, she’ll convince me to dump Shane. I’ll agree just to stop her tears. Then I won’t be able to change my mind later. It’s my fucking curse!
The first time Shane asks me to stay over, I do okay. I’m not ready for that step. It’s too much pressure. I don’t want him to see me naked. I’m not ready. I tell him no and stick with it.
The second time with Shelby, I feel myself wanting to give in. She’s being nice to me, and I want her approval. Shane is right there with everyone looking at us. I don’t want to embarrass him. I should just say yes, so they’ll be happy. But I distract myself with music and keep my cool.
My fuckup is that I can’t plan for every possibility. When Shane offers to pay my friends to bring over my stuff, I’m unprepared. I start thinking I’m stealing money from the Band. They’re always broke. Shane is flushed with cash. Am I acting selfishly by depriving my friends of something they need? Does it really matter if I just give in if everyone gets what they want? Well, I wouldn’t get what I wanted. I’d be okay, right? Sure, sure. Or maybe not! Then before I can figure anything out, I agree to stay over.
Now Shane knows my weak spot. Just like how Fuse figured me out. He’d mention helping me as a reminder that he had money, and I was always scrambling to pay for basic shit. He’d mention my friends, so I’d worry he might fuck with them if I didn’t agree. He’d say something positive about me as his daughter to feed into my insecurities. Then finally, he’d comment on how he heard my show to stroke my need for fatherly approval. It was so easy to get me to agree. Even knowing he was full of shit and I would regret saying yes, I couldn’t stop the momentum. Now I do the same thing with Shane.
I imagine the Band’s reaction to how I changed my mind. They won’t care about the money. Now that I’ve agreed, I can see that clearly. They’ll think I’m a fucking idiot child who can’t follow basic instructions. I always need someone to keep my head on straight. I don’t know how they tolerate my shit.
“Why are you sad?” Shelby whispers while Shane and River bicker about something like two old men.
Shaking my head, I don’t dare speak. What can I say? I’m a fuckup. That’s what I’ve always been. I’ve only survived this long in life because three people gave a shit about me. Except no matter how much they do, I always jump headfirst into a pile of trouble.
“Come dance with me,” Shelby insists and tugs me away from Shane. “We’ll put on something topical.”
I stand stiffly while she bounces around to “Weird Science.”
Behind us, Shane mutters her name, but Shelby ignores him. She takes my hands and forces me to bounce with her. I admit her enthusiasm distracts me from feeling low.
“Do you not want to stay tonight?” she whispers in my ear as we soon slow dance to a song not designed for slow dancing.
“I don’t know.”
“If you want to change your mind, Shane won’t get upset.”
I glance at his frowning face and know she’s wrong. “I’m not equipped for relationships.”
“You and me both, sister,” she says and makes me twirl. “I will die alone. It’s just something I’ve accepted.”
“I predict you’ll be married with four kids by the time you’re thirty,” Taylor announces.
“Are you talking to Ramona or me?” Shelby asks.
“You, camel toe.”
“I won’t even check my crotch to see if you’re kidding. I’ve lost the will to care even that much.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I don’t care if my crotch looks like a camel’s toe.”
“No, why are you losing your will?”
“Oh, well, I’m not bisexual like Taylor. I can’t swing both ways. I only find men attractive.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
Shelby stops dancing and looks me dead square in the eyes before saying, “Men stink.”
“Here we go,” River mutters.
“No, you can whimper tearfully all you want, Go-Go, but I know what I know. Men have horrible hygiene, and I have a very sensitive nose. I’m not capable of overlooking stink, and men are incapable of remaining clean.”
“I’m clean,” Maverick mumbles nearby.
Taylor immediately leans over to sniff him. “Checks out.”
“Yes, but you're like my little brother. I can’t hump all over you, sweet Maverick. Now please stop asking.”
For the first time since I met him, the quieter Majors brother really smiles. He immediately seems to regret showing that amusement, but I see teeth and everything from a guy with a frown normally plastered on his face.
Shane is the one frowning now. He gets up and tries to separate Shelby from my body.
“We’re dancing,” she says, holding me tighter.
“I feel as if you're getting to third base with my girlfriend.”
“She does smell good.”
“You do too,” I say, calmer now. “You smell like watermelon.”
Shelby cups my face with both of her hands. “You noticed.”
“Stop bogarting my woman,” her brother grumbles.
Shoving him, she threatens, “I’ll fight you for her.”
Shane doesn’t move, so she shoves him again. He only sighs. “It’s like you’re not even trying.”
Shelby bounces around as if she wants to fight him, but I’m not really paying attention to their sibling war. I realize Shelby’s antics did what she intended. I’m calm now. Not only because she distracted me, but hearing Shane refer to me as both his girlfriend and woman gave me a shot of confidence. I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before. Even Matt simply introduced me as a “woman he was seeing.” That was after we were together for a month. No one—except the Band—has ever viewed me as a keeper.