by Bijou Hunter
My sister lingers at the doorway, watching Hugh. He knows she’s watching him but doesn’t react. Finally, Shelby leans over and sniffs him.
“No French fries,” she announces.
“Thank you,” he replies.
Shelby takes a tortilla chip while sitting across from Hugh and Kelsi. Taylor stands near Max, watching the pink-haired chick finish up a platter of tacos. Soon, the tray goes in the oven.
“This is fun,” Kelsi says, “I’m not just saying that because I’m enjoying free food and booze.”
River enters the house from the front door and stands grumpily near the entrance to the kitchen. I look over the Fearsome Foursome and the Band. Shasta seems more inviting with these eight people together. In fact, the town feels like home for the first time since I moved here.
Ramona might know where my head is because she smiles warmly. For the next few minutes, while we wait for the food, Kelsi asks Shelby questions about the dogs. Taylor asks Hugh questions about his three jobs. River and Max only share space once. He inches closer to her and says something. She mumbles something in response. River frowns as if she might be nuts. Max looks as if she might vomit. Then Kelsi and Ramona create a wall around Max as she finishes dinner.
“Taco fiesta!” Kelsi announces once the food is ready.
With that, the Band and the Fearsome Foursome spend the evening enjoying a variety of tacos, watching a comedy, and ignoring the earlier weirdness. Despite River’s freak-out, I’d say the day was a raging fucking success.
THE CHAPTER WHERE THEIR STORY ENDS
THE LEGACY
The next few weeks are a blur of activity. Shane and I spend most nights at his place, but he makes an effort to hang out at my house with the Band too. We blend our lives rather effortlessly. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of stress with all the changes.
Two weeks after we meet, Shane insists I get a new car. He swears he never thinks ugly thoughts when he sees it. Though I know he’s lying, he makes a good point about the car being a pile of shit.
“I can’t have you driving around in that clunker. It’s not safe.”
I tell him no. He insists. We butt heads until Hugh, Kelsi, and Max insist I take advantage of his love. I remind them of how things turned out the last time I relied on someone else to get a car.
“Shane isn’t Fuse,” Kelsi says, and my friends nod. “If he was, he’d find a way to make you buy him a car.”
“Okay, but I don’t want to be greedy.”
“Why not ask for a used car that works?” Max suggests. “Then, you won’t feel greedy, but you’ll drive something safe.”
I’m still unsure, but Hugh shuts down my drama immediately. “Shane is a bully. He’ll get what he wants anyway. But in this case, he’s right. Your car is shit. I know you think you earned it or that you should be punished with it, but that’s crap. Let Shane do this for you. I’d have gotten you a car myself if I had the money. He does. Let me win this argument. I deserve it.”
Hugging him, I accept Hugh’s right that my shitty car represents the second worst moment in my life. That day at the parking lot led to the worst moment when I nearly killed myself. The car acts as an anchor to an ugly time.
After a little explanation, I convince Shane to buy me a used car rather than something new. He initially fights the idea. Doing anything Fuse did makes him uneasy. Once I explain how I can’t feel greedy, Shane gets it. Mostly, he realizes he’ll win the battle if he meets me halfway.
After we pick a moderately priced, five-year-old Tahoe, he puts the car in my name. “I don’t want you to ever feel as if you have to be with me. No matter what happens, this is your car now.”
Then to prove he’s even more perfect, Shane has another surprise. He brings me to a junkyard, where the Band is waiting.
“We’re going to fuck up that piece of shit,” Kelsi explains, swinging a sledgehammer and gesturing toward my old car.
I assume she’s kidding until Shane shows me the protective eye gear and gloves. Once I finish giggling with excitement, we trash the clunker. It doesn’t take long for me to get tired, but beating up the lemon is hard work.
Noticing my fatigue, Shane guides me to the car crusher where the junkyard worker lets me push the button to flatten my payment for that weekend with the Executioners. I feel weird seeing it destroyed. Guilty for some reason, too. I’m glad Shane organized this outing for the Band, knowing they hated the car more than I did. But I still feel strange destroying the only “gift” Fuse ever gave me.
“You did good,” I tell Shane, who looks worried when I get teary-eyed. “This was a lot of fun for my friends on Max’s last weekend in Shasta.”
Shane seems to understand that my tears aren’t a bad thing. They’re just a release, and crying is better than feeling low. We’re still learning about each other and ourselves. Today, though, we took a big step forward.
His support is especially important the weekend Max moves. Despite all my “she will be back” and “there’s no downside in trying,” I’m scared for her to leave.
Shane and the Band travel to Nashville twice. On our first weekend, we help Max locate everything, including the apartment she’ll be sharing with another sous chef. Thanks to Shane’s big wallet, we also enjoy a meal at Max’s new restaurant before leaving Nashville.
“Swanky,” Kelsi says, looking around at the minimalist design.
“Pricy,” Hugh adds when he checks over the menu.
Max just nods, flushed and nervous about how we’ll be telling her goodbye next weekend.
“I’m scared,” Max whispers to me after she’s moved in, and we’re preparing to leave.
Hugging her that last time, I whisper, “I am too, but we’ll be in Shasta if you need us. No matter what happens.”
Rather than head straight home after leaving Max in Nashville, Shane stops in Ellsberg for dinner with his parents.
“This way, Ramona won’t be as nervous. She’ll have you two with her,” he explains after Hugh mentions that he doesn’t really need to get to know the in-laws and will wait in the car.
Of course, Shane gets his way when Hugh and Kelsi join us. I meet Dylan Campbell first. He owns the same dark hair and eyes as his son, and I swear the man tries his darndest not to intimidate me.
Soon, we enter the mid-century house where Shane and Shelby grew up. I’m overwhelmed by the realization that I’m about to meet their mother. A fragile woman whose love encouraged Shane to want someone like me.
Shane slips a bud in my ear and kisses my neck. “Today is just one day.”
Playing Bikini Kill, I smile up at him and then catch sight of Winnie peeking around the kitchen opening. She’s half-hidden behind long, brown hair. Her dark eyes find her son, and I see her worry lessen. Then she sees me, and I feel her pulling away.
When Dylan offers us drinks, I walk into the kitchen, where Winnie stands near the pantry with Shane. As he coaxes her into talking to me, I watch her shutting down. There’s a part of me that knows she thinks I’m no good. I’ve always assumed this would happen. Now seeing her struggling, though, I’m less concerned about my hurt feelings and more about hers.
Taking the cup Dylan hands me, I immediately tip it to the side and purposely make a mess on the floor.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, grabbing for paper towels.
With the focus on me, Winnie quickly calms down. “I spill stuff all the time,” she says, wanting to make me feel better.
I smile at her and then glance at Shane. With the way he’s looking at me, I feel like a superstar. He loves his mom so much and hates to see her suffer. Instead of freaking out, I helped Winnie and broke the ice. Shane’s reaction is a smile that I can live off forever.
THE ROMANTIC
Not that I had any doubts, but the moment Ramona makes a mess on purpose to draw attention to her and take the pressure off my mom, I’m all in. We’re getting married. She’s the mother of my future children. I’m growing old with her. Done fucking d
eal. No negotiation necessary.
Though Hugh and Kelsi must feel awkward with this unexpected detour, they quickly relax in the living room, where Dad entertains them with booze and a horror movie.
“Shelby often tests people to make sure they’re not body-snatched,” he says while lounging in his comfy chair.
“That’s a good idea,” Kelsi says and turns on the couch to eyeball Hugh. “Get emotional with me.”
“No.”
“Pod person, right here,” Kelsi says, smiling at my dad. “He’s still my second favorite person in the world.”
“Why second?” Hugh asks.
“Ramona is standing right there, man. Be cool.”
Hugh chuckles. “And Max is in last place because she has the audacity to want more for herself.”
“I know, right? What a bitch.”
While they entertain my father, Ramona and I sit in the kitchen with Mom.
“Shane was a handsome baby.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, Mom, of course, whips out her phone with a library filled with old pictures. “Here he is digging a hole in the ground, and here he is filing it back up.”
“A lot of busy work,” I mutter while hoping I’m not blushing like a bitch.
“I used to dig holes in the area next to our apartment,” Ramona says, smiling big at me. “I wrote secret notes and then buried them. I planned to go back and look at my messages when I was older. But the grass grew over the holes, and I couldn’t find them.”
Mom giggles at the story, and I’m smiling to the point of hurting my damn cheeks. I love how relaxed they already are together. There’s something surreal about having my fantasy girl here in my childhood home. The reality of Ramona in my life hits me hard.
I get a helpful distraction from my wild emotions when Shelby sends a video of Safire and Dymond Reiss bloodied and crying on the curb in front of a pizza place in Boulders.
Ramona, Kelsi, and Hugh immediately burst into laughter as the video continues. The blonder sister begs to go home.
“Couldn’t hide forever,” Taylor taunts, standing nearby.
Holding the recording phone, Shelby kicks at the skinnier sister’s leg. “Say the words.”
“Which one is she?” I ask Ramona since, for me, Fuse’s other daughters blur together into a single, two-headed fapsock.
“That’s Safire,” Kelsi explains when Ramona can’t stop laughing.
“I’m sorry,” Safire whines.
“For what, dipshit?” Taylor demands.
“For attacking Ramona.”
“Now you,” Taylor tells the other sister.
“I want to go home.”
“I thought you had to pee,” Shelby taunts. “If you don’t get to apologizing, I’ll make you sit here until you turn this curb into a toilet.”
“Who’s that?” Mom asks, watching the video on her own phone.
“Dixon,” I say, and the Band laughs.
“Dymond,” Hugh clarifies, finding my mistake hilarious.
“Oh, that’s right. They have stripper names. Do you think Dymond will piss herself or apologize?”
“Why not both?” Ramona says, needing to sit down from laughing so hard.
Dymond finally whines, “I’m sorry, Ramona. I want to go home.”
“Close enough for now,” Shelby says and then backs up. “But I might need to kick your asses again in the future. Can’t be sure. I’ll get back to you on that.”
The video ends with the sisters hurrying away while Taylor and Shelby laugh at their retreat. Ramona’s earlier smile is gone, and I wonder if she’s thinking about Fuse.
“Let’s send the video to Max,” Kelsi suggests. “I miss her already.”
When Ramona immediately perks up, I realize I was off base again about where her mind went. Hugh leans over and sighs.
“She’s been with you for a few weeks,” he whispers while the girls forward the video to Max. “It takes time to get the blueprint to a person’s brain, especially a woman’s. I took a decade to get the hang of it. You ought to give yourself at least half that time.”
“Why only half?”
“Well, you’re fucking her, and I assumed that’ll help.”
Dad must overhear the conversation because he chuckles quietly. For the next hour, he wears that little smile. Mom and Ramona chat more. Kelsi and Hugh join them. By the time we’re preparing to leave for Shasta, I’m dying for a few quiet words with my father.
“I wasn’t sure you were ready, to be honest,” Dad admits as we stand outside later while Mom promises Ramona, Kelsi, and Hugh that she’ll come up next weekend to see them. “You’re young to be talking marriage and a family.”
“But?” I push.
“But I feel it now. Seeing you with Ramona made it click for me.”
“To be honest, I didn’t think I was ready either. A few times, I was sure I wasn’t, but once I saw her, I lost the urge to look anywhere else. She proves to me every day how right I was, but I still remind myself to be patient like you said.”
Smiling, Dad seems relieved to know I listen to him. I hadn’t thought about how difficult the move was on him. Sure, Mom got rattled, having her babies far from home. She’s smoking more pot, cooking far too much food for them to eat, cleaning already spotless rooms. Meanwhile, Dad acted as if none of it bothered him.
Right now, as we say goodbye, I can tell he’s struggling too. We are not a family that embraces change. This was our town. We had our people. Life made sense then. With time, we’ll get the hang of this new setup, and the additions to our growing family.
THE LEGACY
Shane is so spoiled. I love that about him. Like when he buys me a new bed so he won’t feel as if he’s dying when he sleeps over.
“A man needs a good mattress,” Hugh insists when Kelsi and I tease Shane. “If it’s too lumpy, it’ll throw off his balls’ calibration.”
Giggling, I mumble, “Well, we don’t want that.”
“This is actually good,” Shane says, ignoring our teasing. I suspect he appreciates Hugh coming to his balls’ defense, though. “River’s entire family might end up in Shasta for the holidays. This way, I’ll have a sanctuary.”
“Be sure to keep the noise down when you two are fucking,” Hugh says, walking away while Kelsi wags a finger at me.
“Hilly is still an impressionable pup.”
Shane just rolls his eyes, but I know he’s dying to break in the new mattress. In fact, he gives Hugh and Kelsi a hundred dollars and tells them to leave for a few hours.
“Mom and Dad need to talk about a few things,” he says. “Wink, wink.”
As soon as the kiddos are out of the house, I’m naked and bouncing on the new bed. Shane enjoys the view while struggling out of his jeans. Then we spend the next few hours naked and loud. I’ve never loved my room more than when I’m bouncing on his dick and howling so loud that the neighbors text to ask if the dog is alright.
Despite missing Max and adjusting to the new living situation, I’m reinvigorated with Shane in my life. His strength gives me the confidence to fail. Kinda like he says his mom’s love did for him.
That’s why when Velma texts one day to ask if we can meet, I don’t immediately tell her no. I remind myself that if things go south, I have Shane and the Band to help me.
Returning to the apartment where I grew up, I find Mom sitting on the couch. My gaze flashes to the bathroom, where I cut my wrists. I push away those memories and tell myself that I’m having dinner tonight with the Fearsome Foursome along with Hugh and Kelsi at The Barnyard. What happened in that bathroom is in the past. I need to focus on my future.
I don’t know what Mom wants out of this meeting. She was always delusional about Fuse, but she’s not usually dumb. Like she must know guilting me over Shane is a dead end.
“How are you?” I ask, sitting on one end of the small couch since she owns no other living room furniture.
“I saw you riding around town on the back of his Harley,” Mom s
ays without looking at me. Her dark hair hangs in her face, hiding her expression. I can’t tell if she’s angry or sad.
Wrapping her arms around her body as if needing a hug and unable to ask for one, she continues, “All those years with Fuse, he never once took me for a ride. I asked him, but he always said it wasn’t the time. Over twenty years together, but it was never the time. Now he’s gone.”
I want to remain silent. Nothing I say will change how she feels. Yet she seems so small and fragile, holding herself like that.
“You were young when you fell in love with Fuse. He trained you to think that what he offered was enough. He didn’t want you with anyone else, but he was never going to give you everything you deserved. Now he’s gone, though. It’s not too late to find someone who thinks you’re enough. Maybe that man won’t ride a motorcycle, but he could treat you like you’re special.”
“Is that how that Reaper treats you?” she asks, flashing a pained look at me.
Nodding, I see my mom the way she was when she met Fuse. Alone and desperate to be loved. He used up all her youth. She let him, of course. But I think between them that he knew the score while she believed the lies.
“There’s not enough of my life left to worry over finding a man that doesn’t exist,” she says, sounding tired.
“You can’t know. I bet a lot of men were interested in you. They just knew Fuse would scare them off.”
“It’s too late.”
“You’re only forty. Max’s mom is around your age, and she’s on her fourth husband. If this latest one dies, she’ll find another guy. The only reason you’re not on your fourth husband is because of Fuse.”
Mom grudgingly smiles. “Only one of her husbands was any good.”
“That’s true, but she just keeps trying. When Fuse was around, you didn’t try. Now you can. It’s only too late when you’re dead.”
Shrugging, Mom doesn’t really hear my words. She’s thinking about all those years she waited for Fuse to let her ride on the back of his Harley. Just once, even out of town where no one would see. Yet he always told her no.