The Complete Northanger Horrid Novel Collection (9 Books of Gothic Romance and Horror)

by Eliza Parsons

  He now left me to myself with his usual gentleness. His eyes were, indeed, rather overcast with a melancholy gloom, and his brow was not cloudless; yet he restrained his grief at the sacrifice he had made, and spared my feelings. But, alas! what a dreadful night succeeded that fatal evening! my fever increased after the Count's noble declaration, and the dawn of morning found me absorbed in gloomy reveries.

  "This is then the fruit of thy sufferings, thy travels, observations, and resolution?" I said to myself: "thy most solemn vows, and thy vaunted friendship are wrecked upon a miserable passion? How deeply must he despise me! And has he not the greatest reason for it? Is he not greater than I? Did he not tell me that Caroline would render him happy for life, and restore his long loft hilarity to him? He never has enjoyed the bliss of love in its fullest extent, and I deprive him of it at his commencement of a new life: I, who am a voluptuary, a spoiled fondling of love, and have but lately wept at the early tomb of an adored wife! Carlos, thou art the meanest wretch, and not deserving of my existence, if thou canst hesitate to return that sacrifice."

  It is incredible how much pain it cost me to come to that resolution; a resolution that was too natural and just than that it ought to have appeared to me a sacrifice. I began to meditate more seriously upon it, and was astonished at the unnatural state of my mind. The first love heats a blood that rolls through a youthful, healthy frame; and the kindling fire of sensations that have just unfolded themselves, urges us beyond the limits of humanity I and yet my senses never have been in such a tumultuous agitation; even not when I first met Elmira, animated with, a full sense of my pride, and conscious of success; nor when she dropped into my trembling arms, encircling my neck as my happy and blessing wife, and my senses were, for the first time, inebriated, on her bosom, with every rapture love is capable to afford; nor was my blood heated to a similar degree in Rofalia's arms, who had taught me to empty the cup of intoxicating sensuality to the last drop. Maturer age also had contributed to cool the heat of passions; and Elmira's modest meekness, the dear cares of a tranquil domesticated life, unruffled by for-row, and flowing in a soft and gentle stream, had blunted the edge of my desires. What could, therefore, have deprived me of my senses in that moment; what could have rendered me so callous against: the admonitions of a just and friendly heart; what could have been the reason of the vehement tempest that agitated my whole nature?

  While I was occupied with these and similar reflections, which succeeded each other with an incomprehensible impetuosity, the idea of my singular fatalities in Spain forced itself upon my foul. Don Bernhard, who constantly frequented our house, though his character did not suffer him to assist in all our banquets, happened that night to be of our party. Count S******! also was present; and both being in an uncommonly merry humour, they entertained the company with a relation of our little Bacchanals at Toledo. The recollection of those merry scenes reminded me, by a natural association of ideas, of the separation of our society, and of the fate of its individual members. I recollected that one was seduced by an Italian finger to abandon our cheerful circle; that a second was called away by family affairs; that a third was intoxicated by something mixed with his wine. The latter idea made me start up with a loud scream. "Heavenly powers!" thought I, "should, perhaps, the unnatural state of my mind and body be the effect of a similar cause?" I hurried out of my.bed. The dining room was separated from.my bed-chamber only by two apartments. I put a night-gown on, and went with the greatest precaution thither, to ascertain my supposition, if possible. The glasses were still upon the table the servants being used to remove every thing in the morning when the company stayed too long. The dawn of morning peeped already through the windows, and enabled me to discern every object without difficulty. I began to examine the glasses, but with very little hope of success, as it also was possible that something might have been mixed in my plate; nay, it even appeared to me to have been too hazardous to attempt mixing an inebriating drug with my wine or water; though I was so much absorbed in thought, that I perhaps should not have taken the least notice of whole clouds of impurity in my glass. My apprehension soon was confirmed beyond contradiction; for I discovered in one of the glasses, standing near the place where I had sat, a whitish matter on the bottom, which undoubtedly was the remainder of what I inadvertently had swallowed.

  The conclusions I deduced from that discovery were of a most alarming nature. It was evident that the agent of the authors of that atrocious deed mud be one of our servants, and at the same time have few accomplices, or none at all. My servants had, however, been employed very little at table; those of the Count having waited upon us from the moment he had joined our company. I had, besides, suspected two of his people for some time; for these fellows were of such an enormous and unnatural stupidity, that I could not conceive how the Count could keep them m his service. Being, however, unwilling to throw an odium upon an innocent person, I resolved to conceal that incident and my suppositions from my friend, and only to watch them with the greatest vigilance. My blood being Hill in a violent fermentation, I mixed some lemon juice with wine and water, which refreshed me more than I had expected. I could, indeed, not sleep; but found myself a great deal better on the subsequent morning.

  CHAPTER V

  The Count, who came very early to see how I did, found me pale and languid. I entreated him to forget the whole scene of last night, because I had made the observation that I really was very ill. He sent immediately for a physician, who shook his head, declaring my illness to be a fever of a most dangerous nature, and found it necessary to bleed me. Yet I rose at ten o'clock, in health and pretty good spirits, feeling no other inconvenience than an ebullition in the blood, and an unspeakable languor. I was several times strongly tempted, in the course of the day, to inform the Count of my suspicions with regard to the affair of last night; and had the best opportunity of doing it at table, where I examined the vine, and every dish, with an unusual care, which occasioned him to ask me whether I was afraid to be poisoned by him? Yet that very question sealed my lips. His extraordinary agitation, and the struggle with his heart, which was not yet entirely decided, imparted to every thing he said a certain bitterness which he could not conceal, notwithstanding his endeavours to appear open and kind to me. Thus frail is the human heart. I saw, with secret sorrow, the distress which the sacrifice he had made me inflicted upon his agonized mind. I might have soothed his agony, if I had explained to him that my singular behaviour on the preceding night had been owing rather to a disordered body than to a weakness of heart; however, his silent reserve, and my being doubtful how he would receive it, prevented me from coming to an explanation.

  The only thing I did was to make observations on myself; and the deeper I penetrated into the secrets of my feelings, the more coldness to Caroline did I discover in my heart. I was highly rejoiced at it, and yet apprehended that it was impossible I loved her nevertheless. I heated myself more violently in attempting to grow cooler, and secretly asked myself, "Is it possible you could love Caroline? It scarcely can be; and yet I apprehend it really is so. She has, indeed, not gentleness and judgment enough, and also appears to have too much self will, as to be capable to sacrifice much for her lover; however, she has a certain spirit of conversation which charms me, and a natural insinuation that flatters self-love, and must render its object happy. But is all this worth sacrificing a tried friend, whose peace of mind appears to depend on her love? No, Carlos! be ashamed, and conquer a fatal passion, that owes its exigence merely to an unnatural state of thy body, lest thou becomest the sport of others that have kindled it in thy hearty and strive to gain the applause of thy own understanding, of the Count, thy friends." This soliloquy terminated in a solemn resolution to shun Caroline as much as decency would permit, and I was determined to carry it that very day into execution. We were invited to an assembly, where we were sure to meet Caroline; my indisposition affording me a natural pretext for (laying at home, I resolved not to go. Not knowing how to amuse myse
lf all the evening, I went to my closet, and searched for some books. I carried at least half a dozen to my sofa, without being able to determine which I would read. I also had got some music for my flute, and put a chair to the Piano forte. At length, I put a night gown on, and stretched myself upon the sofa, reading aloud, to silence the voice of my heart. Thus I was in an excellent way of spending the evening in private and to divert my mind, when suddenly a carriage stopped at our house. I was violently frightened. "Good God!' said I to myself, "I hope I shall not be disturbed by visitors!" shut my eyes, and pretended to be fast asleep.

  Not two minutes were elapsed, when my closet door was opened, and a person entered. He approached the sofa softly, while I consulted with myself whether I should not open my eyes a little to see who was so kind to disturb my sweet repose? It was the Count, and in full dress. "My God! in full dress?" I exclaimed, starting suddenly up, and surveying him with gazing looks.

  "You play fine tricks. Marquis," he said coolly, "I really thought you was fast asleep, and you start up at once as if you were going to fly in my face!" So saying, he put his sword on, which he carried in his hand, went to the looking glass, and examined his headdress.

  Seeing that I still continued to look at him without making the least attempt to stir, he put his hat on, turned round, and crossing his arms negligently, said, "But tell me, Marquis, what means that comedy you are acting there in your great night-cap?"

  A comedy!" I replied, with looks of astonishment.

  "I think you have had sufficient time to take your nap; though you have dined to-day with an extraordinary appetite."

  "You are mistaken, Count," I began peevishly: "I have had no appetite at all."

  I would have given any thing if I could have provoked him to enter into a contest with me on that point; for I was determined to prove clearly that I never had dined with less appetite.. He went, how-. ever, to the window, without returning a word, began to hum an air, looking into the street, and dissembled to be occupied with some ridiculous object. At length he resumed, still looking out of the window, "How long will you let your carriage wait at the door?"

  "My carriage at the door! I don't comprehend you. Have you ordered it?"

  "Yes, I have; and it is your state-carriage. Have you entirely forgot, that I am the king of the feast which we are to have, and that the Minister of H****** and the ****sh Ambassador will be of the party?"

  "Pray tell me, dear Count," I replied, "whether I am dreaming? for I assure you, I know not a syllable of it." (I really had almost entirely forgot it.)

  "Have I ever seen the like?" he replied, turning round. "All the world has been solemnly invited last night. I come to fetch you, and you are not dressed. These are fine doings, indeed I I am sure the card-tables will be occupied before you are ready, and you may easily conclude that I shall play to-night?"

  All my line plans vanished in that moment: I saw nothing but the gay company, dancing, playing and laughing.

  "Well, then, I must make haste to dress," I replied mechanically taking my cap off, and ringing for my valet. He came> and used such expedition, that I was in my carriage a quarter of an hour after.

  We came, indeed, too late; all the card-tables were already occupied; and Caroline having despaired to see the Count that night, had left the company to pay several visits before supper. The Count was determined to play, and succeeded at length to collect a party. Being not disposed to play at cards, I stole upon a balcony, which looked into a large yard covered with lofty trees, where I abandoned myself to pleasing reveries. The delusive dusk, the humming in the air, and the ominous rustling of the cooling breezes betwixt the trembling leaves, created sweet sensations in my mind; and my imagination was agreeably occupied with forming pleasing fancies, when the door behind me was opened at once. On turning round I beheld Caroline, who, mean time, was returned, and had left the apartment for reasons similar to mine. She seemed not to have observed me at first, being rather startled when she saw me. Yet she soon collected herself, saluting me with her usual good nature and simplicity, and inquiring bow I did. I began to tremble, and replied with visible confusion, and in broken accents.

  She began to laugh, resuming gaily, "I really think you have been sleeping, Manrquis, for your phrases are uncommonly odd." I confessed that I had been dreaming, at least, and being asked of whom, I replied, "of you, charming Caroline."

  Thus I opened a conversation on the very subject I had so firmly determined to avoid. She declined every thing I said with the gayest humour, which imperceptibly led me to add a great deal more of the same nature. In short, our conversation grew very warm. She was violently agitated, notwithstanding her cheerful humour; and at length began repeatedly to speak of the Count, pitying him with a most charming kindness for his paleness and melancholy, and even asked me whether his heart was not the prey of some silent grief? She could have chosen neither a subject nor words that could have made my blood ferment with' greater violence.

  When the air grew more chilling, (be told me she would go and fetch her shawl, and soon join me again. I offered to do it for her; however, she insisted upon going herself. I counted every minute but she did not return. Having-waited in vain above a quarter of an hour, I returned to the company. She sat by the Count, looking in his cards, or rather contemplating his beautiful countenance, which exhibited linking marks of melancholy, and received additional charms by the languid paleness his illness had left upon it. He never had appeared handsomer to me than that night. The speaking language of his mien was indeed now and then interrupted by an indescribable perplexity; however, the goodness of his heart continued to prevail in every feature of his benevolent countenance. His dark eyes, flashing with a faint fire, spoke powerfully to the heart; and the pale enamel of his lips resembled a rose that first begins to blush.

  Caroline was entirely absorbed in the contemplation of his affecting features; her face was the mirror of his, and repeated every mien of her melancholy neighbour by its movements. As soon as the Count perceived me by his side, he endeavoured to involve me in a conversation with Caroline, who just was starting up, exclaiming, "Good Heaven! I have forgot the Marquis, who waits for me on the balcony!" She was rejoiced to see that I had joined the company, and drew her chair closer to the Count.

  The latter began, from that moment, to be entirely absent, replying little, or nothing at all, to her observations and questions. This offended Caroline at last, and she rose suddenly from the card-table, declaring that play did make people unaccountably insupportable. She then wished the Count, laughing, a good night; repairing to the opposite side of the apartment, where a forte piano stood, and began to play.

  Yet she could relish nothing. I followed her like her shade, taking up a violin to accompany her I selected some of her favourite airs; but every thing was intolerable to her. She grew, at length, uncommonly sad and gloomy, reclining her-self against the back of her chair, fetched a deep sigh, and shut her eyes.

  I did every thing in my power to amuse her I but nothing would do: she returned very short answers, and grew cooler every moment. She continued to keep up that humour till the gaming parties rose and being placed, at supper, between the Count and myself, her cheerfulness soon returned with additional lustre.

  This charming change seemed, however, not to have the least effect on the Count. He continued to be sad and gloomy, however attentive and obliging she was to him. She was indefatigable in her exertions to rouse him from his melancholy stupor, displaying her wit and good humour in the most advantageous light; but nothing would succeed. The company was enchanted with her lively sallies and acute remarks; the Count only was dejected and absorbed in gloomy reveries. He had formed his plan, and nothing could tempt him to give up his resolution. His pertinacy was so firm, that neither Heaven nor Hell would have been able to draw him only a hair's breadth from his course.

  At length she grew tired of that frigidity, and addressed herself to me, to punish him for his sullen reserve, thinking, perhaps, th
at jealousy would effect what love was not equal to perform. But she was mistaken; for the Count grew more communicative, and I was as laconic as he had been. I was but too sensible of the real motive of the honour (lie did me; my pride did not suffer me to avail myself of her favourable disposition, and my cheerfulness was far from increasing. Thus the evening, for the pleasures of which so many preparations had teen made, was spent in a very irksome and tedious manner.

  From that time I saw Caroline almost every day; it was at least not my fault if I did not. The Count's melancholy en-creased every day more visibly; he frequently shut himself up in his closet, retired early from all companies, or stayed entirely at home. His friends ascribed that love of solitude to the effects of his illness; and I confirmed their supposition. Every spark of generosity seemed to be dead in my heart during that fatal period; I saw him struggle against his passion with an indifference that covers me with pungent shame whenever I think of it; he was a living picture of sorrow, and I had not even so much feeling left to comfort him. In short, I was so completely, so thoroughly altered, that it is impossible my friends should not have noticed it.