Through the Tears (Sandy Cove Series Book 2)

by Rosemary Hines

  “A baby — that is so exciting! But are you sure you want to do that before you finish your education?”

  “I’m sure, Mom. I’ve really given it a lot of thought. Ever since Bridgeport, I’ve been wanting to do this.”

  “How does Steve feel about it? I’m surprised he would go along with this so early in your marriage.”

  Michelle nodded and smiled. “Actually, Steve is really supportive. He knows how much it means to me.”

  “Well, I’m very happy for you, Mimi. There is nothing like having your first child. I’ll never forget my pregnancy with you and the moment I first saw your tiny face.”

  She seemed lost in thought, and Michelle didn’t want to interrupt her memories, but she was eager to know if her mom had any problems getting pregnant. “Mom?” she asked.

  “Yes?”

  “Did you and Dad have any problems getting pregnant?”

  “No. In fact, you were a bit of a surprise for us because we had only been trying for one month.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I remember how surprised your father was when I called him and told him.” She glanced over at a photo on the piano of her and John taken in their early days of marriage.

  “Oh.” Michelle didn’t know what to say.

  “Why do you ask, dear? Are you and Steve having some kind of problem?”

  Michelle sighed. She could feel the tears coming to the surface again. “Kind of.”

  “Oh, baby,” her mom said softly as she wrapped her arms around Michelle. “You have to give it some time.”

  “That’s what everyone says, but we’ve been trying for three months now and I’ve even been taking fertility pills.”

  “Fertility pills? Why?”

  “Because my cycle got all messed up when everything happened with Dad. I went to the doctor and told her we had decided to try to get pregnant, and she said the fertility pills would help me get my normal cycle back and also help us get pregnant quickly. She said most people conceive within three months.” Michelle’s vision began to blur and her eyes filled to overflowing with tears.

  “So now you’re worried because it’s been three months and no baby.”

  She just nodded.

  “I wish I had the answers for you, honey. I’m sure you and Steve will have a baby.”

  “We’ve talked about doing some tests starting in January. We’ve even talked about maybe adopting at some point.” She wiped her eyes with the tissue her mother handed her.

  “I really doubt there is anything wrong. It just takes time for some people. But if it makes you feel better to do the tests, then I say go for it. Adoption is a big decision, though. You two will make great parents, and I know you’ll figure out what’s best.” She studied Michelle’s face and gave her another squeeze. “Let’s go have another slice of grandma’s pie. That’ll make you feel better.”

  Michelle smiled at her mother through the tears and nodded. “Sorry I’m putting this on you, with all you’ve got on your mind with Dad.”

  “Don’t you worry about that, dear. Things are looking up down here, and a mother’s heart is always ready to listen.”

  “Love you, Mom,” Michelle said as she gave her mom a hug.

  “Love you too, Mimi. You’ll be a great mom one of these days. I just know it.”

  Christmas morning passed with a flurry of gifts and grandma’s delicious Swedish pancakes. John seemed more alert than he had the night before and pleased to have the family together once again. Michelle and Steve had bought him a gray cashmere vest; one that Michelle thought would look great with his silver hair and light blue eyes.

  After helping him to open the package, Michelle lifted it out and held it up for him to see. “What do you think, Dad?”

  John gazed at the vest and then looked into his daughter’s eyes. “Beautiful,” he said slowly.

  She placed it on his lap and he caressed the plush knit with his useable hand. “Soft,” he added with a smile.

  After all the packages had been opened and they had eaten their breakfast, Michelle got a call from Kristin. They made plans to spend some time together the following morning. Steve and Michelle would be heading back to Oregon in a couple of days, and they wanted to squeeze in another short visit. Kristin had a lot of wedding plans to discuss with her matron of honor.

  The sky was clear, but the air quite cool as the girls walked down the pier, heading for their favorite high school hang-out – Ruby’s Diner, a fifties style hamburger and shakes restaurant sitting at the far end, surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. Michelle pulled her parka tight and hugged herself against the biting ocean breezes. It was difficult to carry on a conversation with the wind stealing their words and carrying them away.

  “Pretty day,” Kristin shouted.

  Michelle nodded her head. “Wish we got more sun like this up in Sandy Cove,” she replied.

  “What?”

  “More sun. I wish we got more sun up there,” she repeated loudly.

  They hurried into the entrance to the restaurant with their cheeks and noses pink and their hair tousled.

  “Whew! That wind is strong today,” Kristin said with a grin.

  “You should see your hair,” Michelle said.

  “My hair? What about yours?” They both laughed as they tried to tame their locks with their fingers.

  The restaurant was pretty empty, so they didn’t have to wait. They requested a window and were ushered to a table with a great view. Michelle soaked in the familiar surroundings. Shiny, cherry red vinyl upholstered booths and chairs, gleaming white tabletops with thick, grooved chrome edges. Everything was retro – very authentic fifties — right down to the music playing in the background.

  After ordering their customary burgers, fries, and shakes, they began discussing the details about Kristin’s upcoming wedding. She showed Michelle pictures of the dresses she was considering for her attendants, and Michelle gave her feedback on the ones she liked best.

  “Are you still planning to come down the week before the ceremony?” Kristin asked hopefully.

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss watching you go crazy with last minute stuff. This will be so fun, Kristin. I’m really excited for you.”

  “Me, too. And I’m really glad you’ll be here to help.”

  “No problem. That’s the matron of honor deal, remember?” Michelle replied, thinking back to Kristin’s participation at her wedding. It had really helped to have her there running errands and making last minute phone calls, not to mention taking her out to the movies and for walks on the beach to calm her nerves.

  “Just think, `Shell, you might be pregnant by then. Hope you don’t get morning sickness.”

  Michelle smiled. “I just hope I get pregnant.”

  “You will. I know you will. You and Steve will make the best parents. I can just see you guys with some little boy in overalls chasing your cat around the house.”

  “A boy, huh? I was thinking maybe a girl.”

  “Boy. Girl. Either way. You guys have what it takes to be a great family. Especially now that you both have started building a spiritual base, too.”

  Michelle nodded. She gazed out the window and sighed.

  “What are you thinking about?” Kristin asked.

  “I was thinking about a talk Steve and I had before we came down here.”

  “About?”

  “About not getting pregnant the first three months like the doctor said we probably would.”

  “That seems like quite a promise, especially coming from a doctor.”

  “It wasn’t exactly a promise,” Michelle said. “She just said that 75 percent of the people who use this drug and follow this particular schedule conceive within three months.”

  “Well, don’t get discouraged. Give God time. I know He’ll give you that baby in His perfect timing.”

  “So do you think we should just wait and see?” Michelle asked.

  “What else would you do?”

  “We
were thinking of looking into adoption and going back to the doctor in January to start some tests.”

  “What kind of tests?”

  “Whatever kind she recommends. I guess there are tons of tests to find out if there is anything wrong.”

  “Do you really think there is?”

  “I don’t know what to think.” Michelle sipped on her vanilla shake, discouragement written all over her face.

  In a soft voice, Kristin asked, “What does Steve think about all this?”

  “He thinks we should pray about it and wait and see.”

  “But you don’t agree?”

  “I don’t know. What would you do? I know I’m kind of obsessing on getting pregnant. It’s suddenly become so important to me. I think it has something to do with the jolt I got with my dad. It’s like I don’t want to put things off anymore.”

  Her friend reached over and squeezed her hand. “I honestly don’t know what I would do, `Shell. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking medical advice. And adoption is a wonderful gift for a child needing a home. I’m just not sure you’ve given this enough time. But I understand what you mean about not wanting to put things off, especially after almost losing your dad like that.”

  Michelle was clearly focused on everything she was saying, looking for direction and affirmation about the decision to pursue the tests. “So you think it would be okay to go ahead with the tests and look into adoption?”

  “Yes, but I also think you need to get to the place where you can trust God with this whole thing and believe He’ll give you a child in His timing.”

  “That’s a hard one for me,” Michelle admitted with a sigh.

  “Yeah. When you really want something, it’s hard for most people. Mark’s been a Christian for a long time, and he still wrestles with that all the time.”

  “Really? About what?”

  “About expanding his ministry and becoming involved in something like what Ben is doing. He’s had a dream about starting a church for a long time now. His job down here is good, but he wants to do more. He loves the kids and all, but he has a bigger vision.”

  “Maybe you guys really will end up in Sandy Cove,” she said with a smile that erased her earlier frown.

  “Maybe we will,” Kristin replied as she studied the horizon. “I know Mark is keeping in touch with Ben, so we just have to keep praying for the Lord’s will.”

  “I’ll pray for you guys about Mark’s dream, and you pray for us for a baby.”

  “Deal,” Kristin said, as the girls both gave each other the thumbs up sign.

  Later that afternoon, Tim showed up to help take John back to his residential rehab facility. Steve and Tim worked smoothly as a team helping John to maneuver himself into the front passenger seat of the car. Phil rested his hand on John’s shoulder and said a quick prayer before they closed the door.

  “I’m going with you,” Michelle said, climbing into the back seat beside Steve.

  “Okay,” Tim replied. “It’ll be good for you to see this place. It’s a great facility.”

  John was very quiet on the fifteen-minute ride. Michelle and Steve made small talk with Tim, commenting on the new mall that had just gone in before Christmas and the lack of traffic on the freeway.

  When they pulled up in front, an automatic glass door opened and a large, black woman in a nurse’s uniform came strutting out to meet them.

  “John — it’s so good to see you. We’ve missed you around here.”

  She smiled and winked at Michelle. “Is this beautiful thing your daughter?”

  John nodded. “Mi —chelle.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Michelle,” the woman said warmly.

  “Michelle, this is Samantha,” Tim said, gesturing to the woman while she helped their father out of the car.

  “Now don’t you go calling me Samantha like that, young man. You know all my friends call me Sammy,” the woman scolded with a glint in her eye.

  “Right. Sammy. Sorry about that.” Tim smiled.

  “I’ll forgive you this time. Just don’t let it happen again.” She stood there waiting. “So, are you going to get his chair outta the trunk, or do I have to do that?”

  “Oh, right. We’ll get it,” Tim replied, rolling his eyes as he played along with her exasperation. Unloading it, he started helping his father into the chair.

  “Now you wait just a minute, young man. Let’s see what your father can do for himself,” Sammy said loud and clear. “Come on, John, let’s try this. Here. Put your right hand on the doorjamb. Good. Now put your other hand over here on the dashboard.”

  John did not move. His face showed intense concentration with his forehead drawn downward and his jaws clenched. But his left arm hung at his side.

  Sammy waited a minute. “Try again.”

  John’s hand flickered and jerked, but he could not lift it off the seat.

  “Okay. Here. Let me help.” Sammy reached into the car and placed John’s left hand on the dashboard. “Now try to push yourself up. Straighten your elbows.”

  John’s right arm straightened, but his left collapsed and he fell sideways against the dashboard.

  “That was a good try, John. You’ll get there.” Sammy helped him sit up straight again. “Okay, boys. You’re on.”

  Tim and Steve came over to the open door and helped John out, carefully turning his body and guiding him into the wheelchair.

  “Shall we take them on a tour?” Sammy asked as she leaned over and smiled at John. “By the way, who’s that handsome fellow who keeps making eyes at your daughter?”

  “Steve,” John answered gesturing toward his son-in-law with his right hand.

  “Hi, Sammy. I’m Michelle’s husband, Steve.”

  “Nice to meet you, Steve,” she said with a friendly grin. “Okay, hold on tight. Here we go.”

  “I’ll park the car and meet you guys inside,” Tim said as he climbed back into the driver’s seat.

  Sammy wheeled John into the building through the open doors with Michelle and Steve close behind. Michelle could feel her stomach tighten as she inhaled the antiseptic in the air and saw a variety of residents sitting in wheelchairs in the open living area adjacent to the lobby. Several were strapped into their chairs and only two of those present even looked her direction as they passed.

  A television attached to the ceiling in the far corner of the room droned the play-by-play account of a sporting event, which some of the residents appeared to be watching. Off in one corner, two pajama-clad men sat at a round table playing checkers.

  Looking at her father, Michelle tried to imagine what it must be like for him to live in a place like this. Completely stripped of his self-sufficiency and pride, who was left behind in the shell of his body? She noticed he looked straight ahead as they moved into the hallway.

  “Your dad doesn’t like to mingle with the guys,” Sammy explained, then blew a kiss into the room full of men.

  “Does he have any friends here?” Michelle asked.

  “Why don’t you ask him yourself, sugar.” Sammy stopped pushing the chair and nodded toward John with her head.

  “Dad? Do you have any friends here?” Michelle felt awkward talking to her father as if he was a child.

  “I...don’t...need...friends. I’m...going...home...soon.” His jaw was firmly clenched, as was his right fist. “Take...me...to...my... room,” he added, closing his eyes.

  Sammy sighed and patted him on the shoulder. She gave Michelle a reassuring smile and began pushing the chair down the long hallway with its gleaming white linoleum floors.

  Tim joined them in the room John shared with an old fisherman named Bill, who had spinal damage due to a fall. Although Bill’s greeting was jovial, John merely acknowledged his presence with a nod.

  After getting him settled in an upright position on his bed, Sammy left to give them an opportunity to visit. They introduced themselves to Bill, chatted with him for a few minutes, and then turned their attention
to John.

  “Daddy,” Michelle said softly as she reached out and took his hand, “I’m so glad we got to be together for Christmas.”

  John nodded and smiled at her tenderly.

  “Steve and I are leaving tomorrow to go back to Oregon. I’ll be back soon to help Kristin get ready for the wedding.”

  “Okay...honey.”

  “You take care now. Work hard at your therapy so you can go home.”

  “I’ll make sure he does,” Tim said. He looked at John with compassion. Michelle couldn’t remember seeing such maturity in her brother before. He certainly was changed by all of this. It was good to see a new bond developing between her brother and their father.

  “We’ll be praying for you, Dad,” Steve said as he extended his hand to John, who weakly shook it.

  “Thanks...son.”

  Michelle kissed her father. “I love you, Daddy,” she whispered in his ear.

  He looked into her eyes as if seeing her clearly for the first time. “Thank...you.”

  As they walked out of the facility, she prayed that her father would find the strength to rebuild his life – a better life than he had before.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Michelle stared at the phone. She nervously twisted a piece of her hair and tried to coach herself through the phone call she was about to make.

  Hi, Trevor. We need to talk. Can you meet me at the Coffee Stop?

  It was simple enough. Why was she shaking like this? Lord, help me do this.

  She picked up the receiver and punched in the number. Her heart was pounding and she could feel her throat tightening like it was in a noose.

  “Hello?” Trevor’s voice sounded a little sleepy.

  “Did I wake you up?”

  “Michelle, is that you?”

  “Yeah. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “No. Not at all. I was just looking over some information Starla gave me. What’s up? How was your Christmas?”

  “It was fine.” She hesitated for a moment and then jumped in. “Trevor, we need to talk.”

  “Okay. About what?”