The Chef's Surprise Baby

by Brenda Harlen

  “Still, an apartment isn’t really an ideal place to raise a child, is it?”

  “He’s got a roof over his head and food in his belly—I think he’s happy enough.”

  “For now. But your apartment will start to feel small awfully fast as he grows up. No doubt he’d be happier with a backyard to run around in.”

  “And I’d be happier driving a Mercedes, but my Kia gets me where I need to go,” Erin told her.

  “Forgive me for showing an interest in my daughter’s—and grandson’s—life,” Bonnie replied stiffly.

  Erin sighed. “I don’t have a problem with the interest, Mom, just the criticism.”

  “I always seem to say the wrong thing to you,” her mother said, an acknowledgment more than an apology.

  “We’ve never communicated very well,” Erin noted.

  “And that’s my fault.”

  “I don’t know that it’s anyone’s fault,” she said. “It just is.”

  “It is my fault,” Bonnie insisted, the spoon clinking against the side of the glass as she stirred sugar into her tea. “And that’s another one of the reasons I’m here...to apologize for what I said to you after the funeral.”

  “It was a difficult week for everyone,” Erin said, wondering why her mother’s sudden desire to apologize had precipitated a sixteen-hundred-mile trip rather than a simple telephone call.

  “You’re being kinder than I deserve,” her mom said.

  Erin shrugged. “Being a mom is exhausting—I don’t have the energy to hold a grudge.”

  But she hadn’t been able to forget the words, or the feeling of a knife twisting in her gut. On the other hand, those harsh words had set her free, allowing Erin to leave Silver Hook without guilt or remorse, because she knew her mom neither needed nor wanted her there.

  “We’d been making progress, though,” Bonnie noted. “Even your dad remarked about it a few months earlier.”

  “He did?”

  Her mom nodded. “He was so happy to see us getting along. Working side-by-side at the resort—even in the kitchen on occasion. It was all so normal...when nothing else was.”

  “There were a few bright spots in those dark days,” Erin agreed.

  “I feel fortunate that Brian and I had so many happy years together. There were some rough patches, of course, including the first couple of years after you were born.”

  Something else that her mom blamed her for, no doubt, Erin suspected, though she didn’t dare say so aloud and risk undermining the shaky détente they’d reached.

  “Your dad didn’t understand why I had no interest in our new baby. Neither did I, to be honest. After all, I’d already had two other babies, so we both knew I was capable of doing everything a mom needs to do.”

  She sipped her tea before continuing. “Not only was I capable, I was happy. I loved being a mom. And when I was pregnant with you, I had no doubt that I’d love being your mom, too. Then...well, you know what happened after delivery.”

  Postpartum hemorrhage.

  Erin had heard the story countless times over the years—most often from her grandmother, who wanted everyone to know that she’d been the one to save the day after Bonnie nearly died giving birth to Erin. Stella Napper had recounted her heroics with pride, never considering—or maybe not caring—that the story might make her granddaughter feel guilty about something over which she’d had absolutely no control.

  “Your grandmother was a big help,” Bonnie acknowledged now. “Especially with your brothers. But it was your dad who stepped up in a big way. He was the one who got up in the night to feed you or change you. Whatever you needed, he was there, because I wasn’t... I couldn’t.

  “I was so relieved to know that you were being taken care of. And, at the same time, I resented his complete focus on you.” She swallowed another mouthful of tea. “I’m not proud to admit it, but there it is—I was jealous and resentful of my own daughter, because her father loved her and I... I struggled to feel the way I knew I should.”

  Her mom had never spoken to her so candidly before, and Erin was beginning to think she should have been grateful for that. Because this confession did nothing to make Erin feel better.

  “I did love you. I do love you,” Bonnie said now. “But it always seemed as if you were more your father’s daughter than mine. He was the one you ran to when you skinned your knee or needed help with a school project. He was the one you always wanted to share your good news with first, and he was always so proud of you.”

  “Until I got pregnant,” she noted.

  It was the only time they’d really butted heads, and she hated knowing that she’d added to his stress when he was already dealing with so much. He’d urged her to tell the baby’s father—to give him a chance to step up and do the right thing.

  But Erin didn’t believe that getting married for the sake of a baby was the right thing. And in any event, she had more pressing matters to deal with—such as helping her dad get better so that he could walk her down the aisle when she did get married.

  He’d rallied a little then, proving that he wanted that as much as she did. And when he’d finally accepted that his days were numbered, he’d told her that one of the things he most regretted was that he wouldn’t have that chance. But he also told her that he was sorry for pushing the issue, because the forty-two years that he’d spent with the woman he loved were the happiest of his life, and he’d been wrong to suggest that she settle for anything less.

  “He would have been happier if you’d been married before you had a child,” Bonnie acknowledged. “But he was absolutely thrilled when Joel was born. And moved to actual tears when he heard that you’d given his name to his grandson.

  “He was grateful, too, that you came home to support the family through his illness, but he was adamant that, no matter what happened with him, you wouldn’t stay in Silver Hook.

  “So what I said to you, after the funeral, about him not wanting you there was true. But it wasn’t the whole truth. I should have told you the reason—and the reason is that he knew you wanted to do more with your life than work at the resort, and he wanted more for you. Because you’d worked too hard to become a web designer to give up your career,” Bonnie explained. “He was never anything but proud of you. And... I’m proud of you, too.”

  Erin had to swallow around the lump in her throat before she could speak. “Why are you telling me this now?”

  “Because it’s long overdue. Because I never should have let you leave without clarifying what I said to you that day. And because my therapist warned me that I wouldn’t be able to let go of my guilt and grieve properly until I was honest with you.”

  And the surprises just kept coming.

  “You’ve been seeing a therapist?”

  Bonnie nodded. “For a few months now. Marissa suggested it.” Then she shook her head. “No, Marissa insisted on it. And I’m glad she did.”

  If your mom needs anything, we’ll be there for her, Marissa had assured Erin before she left Silver Hook. Erin was grateful that her brother’s wife had kept her word—and that Marissa had apparently known what her mother-in-law needed even before Bonnie did.

  “I leave her office with my emotions raw every time,” Bonnie confided. “But I’m finally dealing with things I should have dealt with a long time ago.”

  “I’m glad it’s helping,” Erin said sincerely. And then she finally ventured to ask the question that had been on her mind since she opened the door to her mother. “So...how long are you going to be in town?”

  “Probably just a few days.”

  “Do you want to stay here?” If she said yes, Erin would have to sleep on the sofa, but considering the effort that her mom had undertaken to come all this way, she had to offer.

  “Oh, no,” Bonnie said. “I booked a room at The Stagecoach Inn.”

  Whi
ch suggested that her mom’s trip hadn’t been completely impulsive after all.

  “You’ll love the inn,” Erin assured her. “Do you know what room you booked?”

  “Apparently a room called ‘Bonnie.’ The woman I spoke to on the phone seemed quite amused by the coincidence.”

  “Instead of numbers, the rooms are identified by names of famous Western personalities,” Erin explained to her. “From Annie Oakley to Wild Bill, with interesting details about their lives engraved on plaques in each room. Bonnie is on the first floor, beside Clyde, with an adjoining door for guests traveling together.”

  “Well, it’s just me,” Bonnie said, forcing a smile. “Which means that I get the queen-size sleigh bed all to myself.” Her smile trembled a little. “Of course, I’ve got a bed all to myself at home now, but it’s not a sleigh bed.”

  “If you’ve got time, you should try to get into Serenity Spa,” Erin said, more unnerved than she wanted to be by that trembly smile. “The hot stone massage is amazing.”

  “Maybe we could both go, if you don’t have any plans for tomorrow.”

  “Actually, I do have plans,” Erin said apologetically. “Tomorrow is Lucy’s surprise baby shower.”

  “That sounds like even more fun,” her mom decided. “Can I go with you?”

  “Um...sure.”

  “Then maybe—if you have time—you could take me shopping for a baby gift?”

  Erin smiled. “Of course, we’ve got time.”

  And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she was glad to be able to spend it with her mom.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “So...your mom’s in town,” Kyle said by way of greeting, when he showed up at Erin’s after the restaurant closed that night.

  “Word travels fast.”

  “Out-of-towners are always a hot topic in Haven.”

  As Erin was well aware. She’d been an out-of-towner when she arrived for Lucy’s wedding seven years earlier, a designation that had stuck for more than six months, and then she was “the new girl” for another two years after that.

  “I’m just surprised that you never mentioned she was coming,” Kyle continued.

  “Trust me, I would have mentioned it if I’d known. But she actually got on a plane and then rented a car in Elko to drive the rest of the way here without even calling to tell me that she was coming.”

  “I obviously don’t know your mom very well, but that seems...out of character.”

  “It’s definitely out of character,” Erin agreed. “Or maybe this is her new character. Losing my dad has forced her to stand on her own two feet, and I think she’s been a little surprised to realize that she can.”

  “It sounds like you had a good visit then.”

  “It was good. I might even say cathartic.”

  “How long is she going to be in town?” he wondered.

  “She was a little vague about her timeline. I think she’s trying to decide if she wants to go back to Silver Hook or venture further west to visit Owen and Roger in Portland.”

  “Will you give your brother a heads-up if she decides to go to Oregon?”

  “Nah.” She shook her head, but a smile played at the corners of her mouth. “But I’ll let Roger know.”

  * * *

  The surprise shower was Jo’s idea, but getting Lucy to The Home Station so that the new mom could be surprised was Erin’s responsibility. She decided to stick close to the truth and tell her friend that they were meeting Quinn for lunch, so Lucy was taken aback to discover that The Home Station had been closed for a private event—with her baby as a guest of honor.

  Erin was equally so when she saw that the room was decorated with streamers and balloons in both pink and blue. There were also two banners hanging side by side, one proclaiming “It’s a Girl” and the other “It’s a Boy”—because apparently it was a shower to celebrate not only Seraphina but Joel, too.

  “Are you surprised?” Jo asked, as guests mixed and mingled around them.

  “More than,” Erin assured her.

  “I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull it off,” the proud grandmother confided. “It was Kyle’s idea to tell you that the shower was for Lucy, because he knew you’d be so focused on keeping it a secret from her, you wouldn’t suspect it was for you, too.”

  “He was right,” she confirmed. “And it was a really lovely surprise. Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Jo said. “Although, as happy as I am to show off both my new grandbabies, I have to confess that I feel a little bit guilty, too.”

  “Why?” Erin asked, smiling as she watched Kyle carry their baby around the room.

  “Because I was so caught up in the excitement of planning this celebration for both of my grandbabies, I didn’t even think to reach out to your mom.”

  “You shouldn’t feel bad,” Erin told her. “I’ve lived in Haven for seven years now and this is only the second time she’s come to visit.” And the first time had undoubtedly been at the insistence of Erin’s dad, who’d wanted to see where their eldest daughter was living, because he’d been certain that the whole state of Nevada was populated with only gamblers and prostitutes.

  “Well, she’s here now,” Jo pointed out. “And obviously happy to be spending time with her daughter and grandson.”

  “She does seem to be enjoying herself,” Erin agreed cautiously. Since Bonnie’s arrival in Haven the previous afternoon, Erin had seen a side of her mom she’d never seen before, but after thirty-plus years, she wasn’t ready to drop her guard completely.

  “You know, there’s no distance that can’t be spanned by a bridge, provided the foundation is solid enough,” Jo said, repeating the words Erin had once said to her.

  “Then I guess it’s time to practice what I preach,” she acknowledged. “But first, let’s eat.”

  * * *

  After the luncheon, as Erin chatted with friends and family and neighbors who’d come together to celebrate with the new parents and meet the babies, she couldn’t help but feel grateful that she’d been accepted as part of the close-knit community, and she was sincerely happy to know that Joel would grow up here, surrounded by people who cared about him.

  “Look at that,” Erin said to Kyle, when he made his way through the crowd to join her. “You finally got your mom to come to The Home Station.”

  “Claudio’s mom picked the location,” he pointed out. “The only reason mine didn’t object was that she didn’t want to have to shut down the pizzeria over lunch on a Saturday.”

  Erin chuckled. “Well, she’s here—and she ate the delicious meal that was served.”

  “Even the spinach and strawberry salad?” he asked.

  “Even that,” she confirmed.

  He turned around then and tipped his head back, looking at the blue sky out the window.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Checking to see if there are pigs flying.”

  “I was tempted to do the same thing when my mom showed up at my door,” she confided.

  “But you’re glad she came.”

  “I’m glad that we had a chance to talk,” she allowed. “We’ve communicated more directly and honestly in the past eighteen hours than at any time in the previous eighteen years.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  “It is,” she agreed.

  It had also been emotional and exhausting, but she really did feel as if they’d taken a big step toward establishing a more traditional mother-daughter relationship. And while Erin knew that she’d never share the same closeness with Bonnie that Anna shared with their mom, that was okay, too.

  “Now, tell me what the two of you were talking about earlier,” she said, undeniably curious about the nature of the tête-à-tête she’d witnessed.

  “She cornered me,” Kyle admitted
. “Literally. I had nowhere to go.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question,” Erin pointed out.

  “We talked about a lot of things,” he hedged. “Haven, the hotel, the restaurant.”

  None of which explained why her internal radar had gone off when she’d spotted them together.

  “Anything else?” she pressed.

  “Actually, she did...um...want to know when...we’re getting married.”

  Erin’s gaze narrowed. “What did you tell her?”

  He offered an apologetic smile and a shrug. “I told her that we haven’t yet set a date.”

  Which, of course, meant that Erin would have to be the one to set the record straight.

  She found her mom in conversation with Jo—making plans to have lunch together the next day.

  Would wonders never cease?

  After they’d confirmed the details, Erin took Bonnie’s arm and steered her away for a private word.

  “This is a lovely party, isn’t it?” Bonnie asked, lifting her drink to her lips. “I’m so happy to see that you’ve made so many friends. I miss you at home, of course, but I feel better knowing that you’ve made a new home for yourself here.”

  Erin eyed the pale liquid in her mother’s glass. “What are you drinking?”

  “Sangria. And it’s delicious.” Bonnie offered her daughter a sip.

  She shook her head. “How many glasses have you had?”

  “Two? Three?”

  A surprise to Erin, who’d never known her mother to consume more than a single glass of wine and only on special occasions. It also gave her hope that maybe Bonnie wouldn’t remember that she’d brought up the topic of marriage with the father of her youngest grandson.

  So she decided to set the subject aside for the moment, asking instead, “Did you enjoy your lunch?”

  “It was delicious,” Bonnie said. “In fact, while I was eating, it occurred to me that you could eat like that all the time if you married the chef.”

  So much for setting the subject aside.

  “I’m not going to marry a man just because he knows his way around the kitchen,” she told her mother.