Learning to Lean

by Mildred Colvin

  “Becka, where is the odor coming from?”

  “I don’t know, Daddy.” Her voice caught in a sob. “I think the house is going to blow up. Please, can you come home?”

  Not likely, but why take chances? Matt grabbed his nail gun and headed toward the ladder. “Okay, Becka, I’m on my way. Get out of the house. Take Ricky and go to the park down the street. I’ll come by there so watch for me.”

  “Okay, Daddy. Bye.”

  Matt slipped his phone back in the holster and climbed down from the roof. He considered taking his ladder with him but dropped it flat on the ground instead.

  He reached his Bronco when the back door of the house opened, and an elderly woman stepped out with a scowl on her face. “You aren’t finished all ready, are you?”

  He forced a smile. “No, ma’am. I’m well over half finished though.”

  “Well, get back up there and get it done.” She motioned over her head.

  “I will.” Matt opened the door and tossed his nail gun on the passenger seat. “I’ve got to make a quick run home, but I’ll be back in a few minutes and finish the job.”

  “I guess you’d better not be running off leaving my roof half done, because I’m not paying a cent until the job’s done and done right.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I understand how you feel.” Matt didn’t wait for an argument. He slipped behind the wheel, closed the door, and started the engine while she stood watching with her mouth open. If she said anything else, he didn’t hear.

  He drove across town praying the kids were all right, and the house hadn’t blown up. The lady he’d run from should be a good recommendation if he didn’t anger her, but his kids came first always. He’d find work elsewhere. Children couldn’t be replaced. He slowed when he reached the park near his house and spotted the kids waiting.

  Becka opened the front door while her little brother jumped in the backseat. Her eyes glistened with tears. “Oh, Daddy, I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Ricky radiated energy as he leaned forward. “The house didn’t blow up yet. Anyway, we didn’t hear any explosion.”

  Matt pulled onto the street. “Buckle up, Ricky.”

  A click from the backseat indicated his son’s obedience. Matt couldn’t imagine what the kids had smelled, but he prayed it wasn’t serious. He parked in the driveway and opened his door. “You kids stay outside.”

  “Daddy, you aren’t going in, are you?” Becka scrambled from the front seat and hurried around to his side. She clutched his arm, and the fear in her eyes almost frightened him.

  He patted her hand and pulled away. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

  Why did it not surprise him to find the front door standing wide open? The kids must have been terrified. He walked through the living room but didn’t smell anything unusual.

  “It’s stronger toward the back.”

  Matt turned at Becka’s voice. “I thought I told you to stay outside.”

  Fear mingled with determination in her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, Daddy.”

  Her words cut deep into his heart, but he forced a chuckle and reached for her. “Come on.”

  She slipped her hand into his as Ricky burst through the door. “I’m not stayin’ outside without you guys.”

  Matt laughed and held out his other hand. “Okay, let’s find this non-gas odor.”

  He sniffed as he walked through the house. Becka was right. The smell got stronger toward the back. Matt found the source in the kitchen near the cook stove. The strong odor hanging in the air seemed more chemical than gaseous. More like burnt plastic. He looked in the oven and didn’t find anything. He inspected the burners on the stove and saw a spot of red on one. A small toy car sat on the counter. A toy car made of red plastic. Bingo!

  Matt picked up the car and inspected the right front fender. He set the car back down and, with his pocketknife, scraped a sliver of red from the burner. He glanced up at Ricky, as an expression of guilt crossed the young boy’s face.

  Ricky turned toward the door.

  “Stop right there, son.”

  Ricky froze at his father’s voice.

  Matt suppressed a laugh and held out the car. “Why don’t you sniff this and tell me if you think that’s where our odor is coming from?”

  Matt frowned to keep from laughing, as guilt and nonchalance warred on his son’s face. He took the car and held it to his nose then shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “Can you tell us why this car has a melted front fender and there’s red plastic on the stove burner?”

  Ricky stared at the floor. “I guess it touched the burner?”

  “You did this?” Becka planted both hands on her hips. “On purpose?”

  Ricky glared at his sister. “Course not. I was trying to modify the design of the car. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “No one would understand, Ricky.” Her voice rose. “What were you thinking? You could have blown up the house doing something so stupid. I cannot believe you.”

  “Yeah, well, how else was I supposed to modify a plastic car, huh?” Ricky thrust his chin toward Becky. “Just tell me that.”

  “You weren’t supposed to be modifying anything.” Becka turned to Matt with troubled eyes. “Daddy, tell him. He promised to be good. He said he wouldn’t do anything, and he almost got us all three killed.”

  Matt slipped his arm around his daughter’s shoulders. Her burden of responsibility had blown the incident out of proportion. She’d carried a heavy load in the two years since Eva died. Not once had she complained, which added to his guilt for letting her step into a position never meant for her. Her willingness to work made his life easier, but that was no excuse for him to take advantage. He’d robbed his oldest daughter of an important part of her youth by expecting her to play the adult, to take care of the younger children when he wasn’t available. To fix meals, wash clothes, and clean house.

  Matt turned the toy car over in his hand and thanked God for showing him what he was doing to his children. He gave Becka a gentle squeeze, and determined to make changes.

  But for now, he had a job he needed to complete. He gave his son a stern look. “Becka’s right this time, Ricky. You had no business playing with fire and certainly not burning plastic in a closed area. Not only did you release toxic chemicals into the air, but you called me away from a job I need.”

  “Sorry, Dad.” Ricky mumbled with his eyes averted.

  “Okay, I accept your apology. Now go get a book. You’re going to work with me so I can keep an eye on you.” Matt turned to Becka. “Will you be all right alone?”

  Her expression brightened. “Sure, without him I’ll be safe.”

  Matt grinned. “Fine. Open the windows in here and get the fan from the family room. I think most of this smell can be blown away in a few minutes. Can you handle it?”

  “No problem.” Becka had already moved to the first window.

  “Good. I’ll stop by before we go back to the daycare if you want me to.”

  Becka turned back with a smile. “Yes, I want to go.”

  “We’ll see you later then.”

  Matt followed Ricky to the Bronco and drove back to the work site. After cautioning Ricky to stay either in the vehicle or in the shady yard, Matt set his ladder up and climbed to the roof. Before starting to work, he called down to his son. “Remember, I want a book report when I’m finished here.”

  He grinned at Ricky’s grumble about summer vacation and reading. School couldn’t start any too soon for Matt.

  ~*~

  Heather glanced down at a tug to her pants.

  “Uppy.” Kristi gazed at her with large brown eyes and a sweet smile, as she gave another tug.

  Although she enjoyed all the children in her care, the two-year-olds were Heather’s favorites. Moving from babyhood, the little ones still enjoyed a cuddle now and then. Kristi seemed especially in need of being held today. Heather wondered if she was always so lovable.

  Kristi lifted her hands.
“Uppy.”

  Although Heather usually discouraged the workers from playing favorites with the children, she bent and lifted Kristi into her arms. “Hey, what have you been doing?”

  “Pway.”

  Heather laughed as she wiped a smudge of dirt from the little one’s cheek. “You sure have been playing. Your daddy will think we rolled you in the dirt, won’t he?”

  “Da Da.” Kristi turned toward the road, and Heather realized her mistake. Matt should be showing up before long, but he wasn’t there yet, and she knew better than to bring the fact to Kristi’s attention.

  Toni ambled past with lifted eyebrows. “Getting a little attached, aren’t we?”

  Heather figured she looked guilty as charged, so she made up a quick excuse. “It’s her first day.”

  “And she’s awfully cute.” Toni smiled at Kristen. “Aren’t you, precious?”

  “Yes.” Kristen’s pigtails bounced as she nodded, and the two women laughed.

  “Mama.” Candace ran across the playground to Heather. “Come play.”

  “Uh oh.” Toni grinned. “Is someone a tad jealous the way you’ve been carrying another little girl around all day?”

  “Not all day,” Heather protested. She knelt to catch Candace close while she set Kristi’s feet on the ground. “Just most of it.”

  As Toni moved on to stop a squabble at the other end of the playground, Heather took the two little girls to the swings. She listened to their happy laughter and couldn’t imagine a better job.

  As parents arrived, Heather divided her time between greeting the adults, making sure the children had their belongings, and playing with Candace and Kristi who seemed to be competing with each other for her attention. Finally, the other workers and all the children except hers and Kristi had gone home.

  She sat them down in the play room with a soft ball to toss back and forth. Kristi’s excited squeal alerted Heather to Becka’s presence. Becka lifted her little sister from the floor and crushed Kristi to her. One would think they’d been separated for years.

  “Did you have fun today?”

  Kristi chattered about her day as Becka carried her outside. Heather and her two children followed them and watched them tour the playground. Kristi pointed out the various yard toys to her big sister.

  “They’re pretty close.” Heather turned at Matt’s voice.

  She smiled at him. “Yes, I can see.”

  He shrugged his gaze still on his daughters. “When Eva got sick after giving birth, Becka stepped in to help with Kristi.”

  “Becka’s young for such a responsibility.”

  “Yeah, that was made clear to me today.” The hint of a smile touched his lips, striking a cord in her heart.

  Heather noticed Matt’s son standing beside the gate talking to Gary. She could always count on her youngest son making friends quickly. Candace clung to Heather’s hand.

  “I have a calendar of the month’s upcoming activities if you’d like one.”

  “Sure, I’d like to talk to you, anyway.” Matt followed Heather and Candace into the building.

  Heather slipped a calendar from the stack on her desk and handed it to Matt. “Only one more week of swimming left.”

  “Swimming?”

  “Yes, we take the kids, who have permission, to the pool downtown for a couple of hours in the afternoon twice a week. You’ll need to pay the entrance fee, and we usually let the kids buy snacks, too.”

  “Do you take ones as little as Kristi?”

  “We do if they behave.” Heather smiled. “I don’t think there’s a problem with your little one.”

  Matt grinned, sending Heather’s heart into a spin. What was it about this man’s smile that affected her so much? She could watch him all day. There was something about the way he moved his lips. Heat moved to her cheeks.

  “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

  “I asked if she got to you, too.” He chuckled. “Kristi has a way of getting attention.”

  Heather thought of the adorable child reaching up to her with a smile as appealing as her father’s and saying, “Uppy.” She nodded. “Oh, yes, because she’s so cute. But she’s well behaved too. I think she’ll be fine at the pool if you give permission for her to go. We watch the kids closely, and we don’t take too many.”

  “Ah, only the best get the invitation?”

  “That’s right. The best behaved, anyway.”

  He coughed into his hand. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m thinking about enrolling Ricky, too.”

  “That isn’t bad news. We’d love to have Ricky.”

  A giggle sounded behind Matt. Becka peeked around him. “You don’t know Ricky.”

  Heather laughed as she handed an application packet to Matt. “Spoken like a true big sister. Here you go. You can fill these out at home if you’d like, and bring them and Ricky back in the morning. I assure you he’s welcome.”

  “Keep him away from the stove.” Becka knelt and held out her hand toward Candace who had been playing quietly with some toys Heather kept in her office. “Would you like to come with me and Kristi while my dad and your mom finish their talk?”

  Candace gave Becka a shy smile, dropped her toys into the box and went to the door with only a quick glance toward Heather. Becka left with the two little girls, one on each side holding her hands.

  Heather turned back to Matt. “School is only a couple of weeks away. Why don’t you let Becka stay with Ricky? She’d be a great help around here.”

  She gasped at his quizzical expression. “Oh, no. I don’t mean that the way it sounded. I wouldn’t charge for her. In fact, I wish I could pay her, but if she’d like to help out here, I’d certainly cut Ricky’s fee in half. It’s just that Becka seems to enjoy the children so much.”

  Matt’s expression gave nothing away as he said, “I’ll ask her and if she wants to, I have no objections.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Sure.” Matt rolled the papers into a tube and tapped them against his hand. “Guess we’d better be getting on home.”

  He stopped in the doorway and turned, as his searching gaze met hers. “Can you recommend a church? We haven’t been here long enough to know one from another.”

  Heather’s stomach twisted as she remembered the church she and Darrell had attended throughout their married life. Brad and Gary were in Sunday school from their youngest days. Candace had no idea what the inside of a church looked like.

  “I don’t make a habit of recommending churches, but I’m sure there’s the usual selection. The one on North Pine is good.”

  “North Pine? Is that where you attend?”

  Not for the past four years. Heather averted her eyes. “No, I often work on Sundays.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know your daycare is open on the weekends.”

  “It isn’t.” She forced her gaze back to his, refusing to feel guilty. She owed him no explanation. “Since my husband’s death, I’ve had to step in and be everything to my children. I work hard, Mr. Sanders. I don’t have time to waste, which means I often do paperwork on the weekends.” She turned away. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to close the daycare and go home."

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you.”

  His apology grated on her nerves, and she didn’t know why. She’d been rude to him. She should be the one apologizing, but instead she kept silent. She watched Matt and his children drive off and locked the door before joining her two youngest children in the van.

  On the short drive she let her mind drift to her oldest, wondering if Brad would be home when she got there. When he left after lunch, he said he had stuff to do, whatever that meant. She felt estranged from her own son as if his only interest in her was a free lunch ticket and a place to sleep.

  Brad had been such a sweet boy before Darrell died. He’d taken his father’s death hard. She understood that, but she’d scarcely survived her own shock and grief. Dealing with her children’s problems took a back seat f
or the first several months until she managed to get past the fog pressing in and shutting out everything else.

  By the time she’d been ready to help her son, Brad had already pulled away. He started running with a crowd of boys she didn’t know or trust. Nothing she said made a difference. Although the sweet, considerate boy her son had been surfaced at times, more and more he withdrew from her and the other kids.

  Heather stopped in front of the house and followed her children inside. In the small, two-bedroom rental, Brad sprawled across the sofa with a glass of ice tea in one hand and a bag of chips near the other. His attention centered on a blaring sit-com.

  “Please turn the TV down.” Heather spoke above the noise of wisecracks and canned laughter. She pressed the pain starting in her head.

  Brad pushed a button on the remote, bringing little relief from either the noise or her headache.

  Heather stepped over toys to the short hall connecting the two bedrooms and bath off the living room. She tossed her purse toward the bed and went back to ask, “Did you take the trash to the street in time?”

  Brad lifted unfocused eyes toward her. “Trash?”

  “Yes, I asked you to carry the trash out. Did you?”

  “The guy came early.” Brad turned back to the TV as if the issue was settled.

  Heather didn’t think so. She grabbed the remote and switched off the TV bringing instant quiet.

  Anger flared from Brad’s eyes. “Hey, I was watching that.”

  “From the looks of this room, watching TV is all you’ve done today.”

  “I walked to the daycare.”

  “For lunch. Didn’t I specifically ask you to straighten the living room and take out the trash? How hard can it be, Brad?”

  Brad stood with his tea. “If you’re just going to yell at me, I’ll get out of your way.”

  He grabbed the bag of chips and headed for the bedroom he shared with Gary. At the hall, he turned. “Call me when dinner’s ready.”

  In the silence following the click of Brad’s door, Heather fought a desire to release the scream of frustration that resounded in her mind.