My Vicious Demise (Demise #2)

by Shana Vanterpool

  “Did you create them?”

  “Most of them.” I put James’s hoodie back on to avoid her expression.

  “They’re bad.” She had a dark twinkle in her eyes.

  Relieved, I let my breath out slowly. She kept getting better. “Thank you.”

  James got up and went to the fridge.

  “Are you and James dating?” she asked next, unashamed and calm.

  How many conversations did she have without James knowing? The thought unnerved me. I looked down at my plate, stabbing a piece of dried cranberry in my salad. “We haven’t gotten that far. We barely know each other.”

  “How about this? I’ll ask you five questions about James. If you can answer three out of five you have to make it official. If you get less than two you have to get to know him better and let me quiz you again. How’s that sound?”

  Like torture. I peeked at James as he took his seat, his glass full of what appeared to be soy milk. He took a large bite of the parsnips, eyes on his plate. He was doing this on purpose. Either he didn’t want to know what we were talking about or he was allowing us the opportunity to discuss him. “Fine.”

  “Great.” She wiped her hand on her napkin and appraised me from across the table, brain turning. “What color are his eyes?”

  I frowned, and then promptly figured out what she was doing. Simple questions garnered simple responses, which subsequently ended up with me calling James my…boyfriend. I could deny her games; instead I played along. Because the word “boyfriend” sent chills down my spine and I didn’t mind the chill.

  “Blue.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “That’s one. What next…? Oh. What is his last name?”

  I answered around my chicken leg. “Rush.”

  “Is Becca your full name?”

  “Rebecca,” I supplied, unable to breath as I tried to swallow the bite in my mouth.

  “Rebecca Rush.” Uma broke her own rules and squeaked a little. “My goodness, that has a ring to it. Anyway,” she said off-handedly, although her words were anything but off-handed, “That’s two.”

  My body hummed with my emotions. Nausea-inducing fear and spine-tingling desire made my vision blur. I tried to eat around the onslaught, but my senses were too overwhelmed; I set my fork down.

  “And now my last question. Do you think James loves you too?”

  She put an unnecessary emphasis on the word too. I looked at James to find him eating contentedly with his eyes on his plate.

  That wasn’t a fair question. I glared at her. But before I could open my mouth she shook her head.

  “It requires a yes or no. Five seconds.”

  “Uma,” I begged.

  “Four…”

  “Don’t.”

  “You’re going to be a wonderful granddaughter-in-law.”

  “Stop.”

  “Two…”

  “Please!” I pleaded.

  She continued mercilessly. “One. Yes or no?”

  I panicked. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t sweet. I had a wall built around me so high I couldn’t even reach the top. James could do better. But in that moment I didn’t want him to do better. I wanted him to love me. “Yes,” I whispered, and then closed my eyes. I didn’t know if he did love me, but wanting him to love me was the same thing. He was here. It had to count for something.

  “Fear,” Uma said, wiping her mouth to hide her knowing smile, “loses again.”

  “What’s for dessert?” James asked, finally looking up from his empty plate.

  His simple question broke the painful bubble around me. I laughed breathlessly and touched his hand, giving it a grateful squeeze.

  “Go get the pie, dear. And there’s some vanilla frozen yogurt in the freezer. I’ll clear the dinner dishes.” Uma pushed away from the table with a satisfied smile on her face.

  James looked at her closely and then at me, frowning.

  I wanted to kiss him. His hair was particularly messy from sleeping and his eyes were confused and beautiful. On the edge of his gaze was something subtle. I had a feeling if I looked in the mirror our eyes would look the same. I shrugged at his unspoken question and got up. After a quick search I found small plates, an ice cream scoop, and the pie knife. I cut three pieces of apple pie, paired each with two scoops of the frozen yogurt, and set them down on the now cleared table.

  Under the table James found my hand. He entangled his fingers with mine and rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles. Until he grabbed me I may as well have been floating by myself. I gripped his hand tighter, thankful. I was so tired of being by myself. Of being alone. I didn’t need a million people to love me. I just wanted my sister and the man holding my hand. That was all I needed.

  I wanted Rain back.

  Part of me understood now why she married Kent. We never had this kind of love growing up. The love we shared was a bond that couldn’t be replicated. We spent our lives living in fear of romantic love. To have it we’d have to give a man a chance after our father obliterated our trust. Kent was still a manwhore in wolf’s clothing, and I still didn’t fully agree with the idea of my sister being married so young, but if he made my sister feel even half of how James made me feel then I would have to find a way to deal with him for her.

  “I have some work to do in the garage out back,” Uma announced, rising with her empty plate. “You two can have the house to yourselves. I’ll be pretty busy for a while.”

  Really. My face flushed, picking up on the true reason she was going to be busy for a while. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “Of course, Rebecca. I like Rebecca more. It’s stronger and fearless.” Uma bent to kiss the top of my head, shocking me. She did the same to James and then left the room.

  He met my eyes once she was gone, smiling softly. “Did she lay into you too hard?”

  I shook my head no. Yes.

  He pushed an apple slice around on his plate for a few seconds, and then he looked up at me and captured my eyes like he always did. My surroundings faded into only him. There was so much in his eyes. Pain I didn’t fully know but understood. Emotions that were searing and consuming. Secrets that he held close. Once he’d sucked me dry he looked back down at his plate and then stood up, reaching over to grab my dish.

  I remained in my seat as he washed the dishes. Why did he look at me like that? It almost looked as if he was going to burst. To explode. To tell me something he ached to tell me. But he’d held back. As he stacked the wet dishes on the drying rack his voice startled me.

  “Go start the shower, Becca.”

  The gruff timbre of his voice made all thoughts and worry dissipate. Without asking for further information I got up and followed his orders. The shower tiles were decorated sporadically with little pastel flowers in varying shades of pink, yellow, and orange. I reached in to make sure the water was warm and then began undressing. I folded his sweater and placed it on the counter top. The rest of my clothes ended up on the floor in a heap. The hot water was just what I needed. I rocked my head from side to side, loosening the muscles in my neck and shoulders. My back untightened and the tension in my body slowly faded until I wasn’t an anxious, confused, terrified mess. I was still stuck within my fears, but I had my face pressed to the glass and could finally see the other side. Now all I had to do was figure out a way to get through before it all exploded.

  There was a time limit on all of…this. These things didn’t lay in wait for you to finish your breakdown, to find the way, and embrace the path.

  A sound broke me out of my thoughts. The door closed. I watched James’s shadow on the wall move. The shower curtain opened and there he was. Long, lean body, rippled abs, happy trail, a penis heavy and thick with want, and eyes so damn blue they nailed me to the wall and had their way with me.

  James set something down on the cubby beside the shampoo and then stepped closer to me. I stepped back for him so we could share the spray of the shower. Beneath the water his hair soaked it up. He pushed it back. For the first time his
entire face was on display. With the water clinging to his dark lashes and his soft pink lips, the man was by far the most attractive human being I’d ever laid eyes on. His bone structure was sharp and strong; water cascaded over his jaw.

  He licked his lips and reached for me, bringing me closer. I didn’t wait any longer. I felt like I’d waited forever for this moment. Our lips met and when they did, when he kissed me under the water, I knew everything I feared was afraid of this. This feeling was going to be responsible for my rebirth. I’d be afraid too if I knew I was on my way out.

  I attacked James.

  I pushed him against the wall and took his mouth. Not just for tonight. Not for tomorrow, a week, a year. But forever. This mouth and this man were mine.

  Twisting my fingers in his hair, I pulled roughly, earning a deep, guttural moan out of his mouth. Heat erupted over my entire body, flowing from my touch to him. We both caught fire, blazing as the steam from the shower encircled us in its fog. I’m sure from above it looked like we were kissing amidst the smoke.

  My fingers traveled over his body. I wanted to touch every inch of him. I caressed his face; his skin was slick, wet, and soft under my fingertips. Down his long, pale throat, over his hard chest, across the ridges on his abs, six perfect indentations for me to touch. The V’s on his lower abdomen and the hair between them. I gripped his heavy cock in my hand and stroked, wanting it so deep inside of me I became a part of him.

  The entire time I kissed him he kissed me back, his tongue and lips matching every stroke, every caress. James was keeping up, taking my body the same way I was going to take his.

  Have it, I thought wildly. It’s yours.

  I reached over blindly for the condom he brought with him. Without breaking our kiss, I ripped it open and used both hands to sheath his erection. Grabbing his upper arms, I turned him around, changing positions until it was my back against the wall.

  He opened his eyes and tore his lips from mine to grasp my waist. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. Taking himself in his fist, he guided the tip of his cock against my wet opening. My excitement was glistening. Once I’d granted him access, he grabbed my hips again and then thrust roughly, perfectly, deeply into me. I clung to him as he filled me, stretching me in the most phenomenal way. Men had a difficult time hitting my g-spot. Most never found it, but James hit it with every stroke. He fit inside of my pussy as if he’d been made for it. Too big, but fitting so he caressed the walls of my vagina with every stroke.

  My nails dug into his back and my moans were the kind I’d waited my entire life for. Loud, throat-scraping screams that were only interrupted when I couldn’t make a noise at all. James’s moans were an unexpected bonus. Deep growls emanated from his chest as he took every inch out only to slam me full once again. He repeated his torture until I felt the muscles deep inside of me clench and pulse. My pussy trembled around his cock as I came harder than I ever have before. My body felt too hot, as if I caught fire in the middle of my orgasm and he was coaxing the flames. I buried my face in his neck as he continued. I couldn’t keep up anymore. I was gutted, emptied, owned.

  I was his.

  “I’m not even close to done,” he warned when I finally opened my eyes. “I’m going to set you down. Turn around and hold on to the wall.”

  He pulled out of me and slowly lowered me until my feet were on the shower floor. I complied as shivers continued to attack me. My legs were rubber and my brain was clouded. I turned around and braced myself against the flower tiles, giving him my pussy to do with what he pleased.

  “Bend over. Keep your hands on the wall.”

  Yes sir.

  I followed his orders perfectly. I backed up a few inches until I was within reach. James slid the tip of his cock up and down me, teasing my clitoris until I was panting once more. He eased inside of me again and then he held on to my hips in a silent warning. I was still wet from my last orgasm, and though this should have played in my favor, it really played in his. My muscles were still clenching, shocked by his thickness and power. James put his foot on the shower lip and then he showed me what sex really was.

  It wasn’t a power exchange. It wasn’t using another human being. It wasn’t getting your kicks and then leaving.

  It was losing myself inside of another human being. It was the connection, the promise that they were feeling the same things you were feeling. It was burning inside and out as you felt pleasure so intense and consuming you knew you would never be the same.

  And it was pure fucking ecstasy.

  His thick cock filled me to the point of pain in this position. He held on to me as my hair fell into my face and pleasure radiated from so far within I forgot most things I’d come to learn in life. If those things didn’t have to do with James they weren’t important anymore. I lost myself in him, in the movements. I started matching his thrusts. When he pulled out I made sure to take him all back in. I embraced the fullness, even relished the knowledge that he was going to stretch me too far. If anything it unleashed a wild unhinged feeling inside of me.

  I lifted my leg so he could take more of me and set my foot on the remaining shower lip, taking every single thick inch James had to give me.

  When my second orgasm hit me I lost a part of myself. It left through my moans. I gave it to him and succumbed, tossing my head back and gasping for air as my pleasure stole my breath.

  James sped up, still not done. He moved to hold my shoulders, keeping me from falling over. My bones felt like the water sliding down our bodies. Translucent and frail. I couldn’t come again. It wasn’t going to happen. But it was like James knew I was giving up. He reached between my legs and found my clit as he continued to relentlessly fill my pussy. He massaged me and fucked me until I was sure I wasn’t going to make it. My final orgasm dismantled me. It altered my insides. Rearranged who I was as a person. It took everything I was and exchanged it for someone I wanted to be.

  I slid down the cool tile to the shower floor. My eyes wouldn’t open. My limbs wouldn’t work. The water rained down on me, warm, and it lulled me to sleep…

  A deep chuckle sounded in my ear and my body felt weightless. “I can’t carry you up the ladder, baby.”

  I forced my eyes open long enough to determine we were at the ladder. When did that happen? My naked body was in his arms and my heart hammered.

  “Lean against the ladder,” he said.

  He set me down and I clung to it, unable to stand on my own. He crawled up the ladder and then reached down to grab my wrists. He pulled me up the rungs until my knees hit the loft floor. He bent over and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and then lifted me. The moment he laid me in his bed I gave into the exhaustion muddling my brain.

  I awoke to sunlight in my eyes. I groaned in irritation and rolled over so the light was to my back. Arms wrapped around me. The feeling of James holding me made heat travel over my body and warmth spread throughout my chest. I snuggled closer and clutched his arm to my breasts. His legs intertwined with mine beneath the covers and he kissed my bare shoulder.

  My body felt heavy and weighed down. As if I slept for many hours or not enough. My thoughts were still clouded as well, almost like my brain hadn’t rested as much as it needed to. It was still encumbered by the back-to-back-to-back orgasms James forced it to live through.

  Not once had I stopped to consider James’s lovemaking abilities. I wanted to find out, but I hadn’t truly given the overall experience proper consideration. I didn’t have time. I wanted him too badly when we were around each other. I could only think about what I wanted and not how he would give it to me. Suffice it to say, that was a major mistake on my part. I had no idea James could be so…rough, so passionate, so possessive. He took my body last night like no man ever had. Truthfully, that wasn’t sex. It wasn’t even close. It was making love. It was passion and lust exploding. It was love and fear being blown away.

  James was taking my world and ripping it apart one emotion at a time. Soon I wo
uld be completely bare in front of him. I just hoped when that time came he was just as exposed.

  “Are you awake?” he rumbled.

  I nodded, knowing he’d feel the motion.

  His arm unwound from around my body and then his hand started to explore. He cupped my breast and massaged me. My nipples hardened, sending a shot of tingles directly to my core. His fingers found one and began to twist. He tugged on it just enough to leave me breathing hard and squirming. Still, I didn’t roll over.

  Suddenly his hand left my breast to travel over my stomach, past my belly button, and then slid between my thighs. He slipped his middle finger between my moistened flesh and rubbed both my entrance and clitoris, going up and down with intoxicating patience. My brain, still foggy from the night before, clouded further.

  “I don’t have any more condoms.”

  I rolled to my back and finally met his eyes. Instead of demanding my soul they requested far more from me. They were hot with lust, deep dark blue. He didn’t look like a different man to me, but I felt like a different woman to myself. Walls I didn’t even know had still existed crumbled. I opened my legs for him, giving him my answer. The health insurance I had during my stint in college had been useful for something. I had the IUD inserted almost three years ago. I still had a couple of years left.

  “I’ll pull out,” he said, more to himself than to me as he brought one more finger into the mix. Both fondled me in a knowing circle. “But first I have to make sure you’re wet. You’re probably going to be sore and I don’t have time for that.”

  Make me sorer.

  My thoughts were lust-filled and senseless. I came hard and fast, reaching out for him in the process. I got his wrist, holding on as my body tried to find the strength to orgasm again. Before I could gain my wits James was between my legs. His penis looked larger in the light of day than it had last night within the steam of the shower. It was thick and harder than I’d ever seen it. He hadn’t changed. I simply knew what was going to happen once he was inside of me.

  He held himself in his fist as the taut head of his penis, already moistened with a glistening dot of precum, stroked my opening. Once his tip was nestled inside he braced his hands on either side of my head and pushed into me fast and deep.