by Leann Harris
“I can take care of that,” he reassured her.
“But—”
“Let your boys try it and have some fun,” Millie said.
Both Joel and April turned to Millie.
“You’re both terrible at whispering.” She grinned. “And my hearing is exceptional.”
“I’m being ganged up on here,” April complained. After a moment, she nodded.
Joel brushed a kiss across her cheek. “Your boys are up next.” He took two steps and stopped. “They’ll have helmets.”
As he rushed back, he saw Millie grin and say something to April, which made her smile.
What was going on there?
* * *
The balance of the day seemed like a wonderful dream. Neither boy won the calf scramble, but their laughter and joy made them both winners.
Joel added points to his two event totals, and the boys yelled so much for Joel that they lost their voices and only could whisper by the end of the evening.
As they left the auditorium, April carried a sleepy Cora, while Joel carried a tuckered-out Todd. All her children’s energy levels registered empty.
“Can I go in Joel’s truck?” Wes asked.
April stopped and turned to Joel. He didn’t offer an opinion or objection as much as he wanted to. He wanted to know if she’d welcome him after the closeness they’d experienced last night and their day together.
“Joel would have to drive out to the ranch, and he’s tired, too, son.”
“I don’t mind.” He wanted to spend more time with the kids.
Get real. Two of the three children are asleep. You want the time with their mother.
“Okay.”
Wes smiled.
After all the kids were strapped in the car seats, April headed home, with Joel’s truck following close behind.
Glancing over at Wes in the passenger seat, Joel asked, “Did you have a good time today?”
“I did. It was the best day ever. I’ll be able to tell the other guys at school about the cowboys, how they ride and how some are going to college.”
“Did you ever consider college?”
“No. Did you go?”
“No, I didn’t, and every day, I regret it. But I’ve taken courses from the state university south of my family’s ranch. Learning is never wasted. It gives me ideas on how to deal with the animals on the ranch and how to manage money.”
Wes nodded. He stared down at his folded hands.
Joel waited for the boy to speak his piece. He had something on his mind, and Joel needed to give the boy the time and space to lasso the words.
“Could you stay with us after the rodeo leaves?” Wes hurriedly asked, never looking up. “If you like Mom, maybe you could marry her and live here with us.”
The words ambushed him. Who would’ve thought Wes a matchmaker in jeans and boots?
“I know Todd and Cora want you to stay, too. Cora always wants you to hold her,” Wes added for good measure.
“I’m honored by your request.”
Wes lifted his head, hope and excitement in his eyes.
“But when two people marry, it’s because they love each other and want to spend their lives together.”
“I thought you liked Mom. I saw you kiss her.”
Clearly, things were going downhill and they’d been caught. “Marriage is a serious step, not something to be rushed into.”
“Isn’t it serious when you kiss someone?”
“Yes.” He wanted to explain more, but Wes plunged on.
“My oma—that’s what we called Grandma—said her mother came to Lubbock to marry her father without knowing him. And she didn’t kiss him, either.”
Wes had neatly trapped him. “It does happen, but when did your great-grandmother come out here?”
“I don’t know.”
“A lot of things have changed in the last hundred years. Your great-grandmother may have come on a train, or stagecoach, or by wagon. There were no cars or phones or computers with email.”
“Oh.”
“But I know it took courage for your great-grandmother to do what she did.”
“So the answer’s no.”
Joel’s heart jerked at the boy’s despondent remark.
“Well, I’d have to ask your mom, and she’d have to say yes.”
He perked up. “So why don’t you ask her?”
Good question. Joel had to admit the notion had floated around his brain, and once Wes had verbalized the words, they seemed to take hold of his heart.
He smiled at Wes. “We’ll see.”
Chapter Thirteen
Once home, April tried to interest the children in dinner. None wanted to eat, and all fell into bed.
“I guess that’s what happens when you eat continuously all day long. I hope they don’t wake up with tummy aches.” She shook her head and smiled. “I’m sure they’ll tell me it was worth it.”
“I remember the time my folks took me to the rodeo in Fort Worth. I think I was eleven at the time. I ate myself sick, despite my mom’s warnings, but I learned my lesson and didn’t do it again.”
“Let’s see how they react.” She knew she wouldn’t forget this day, either. “Now that the kids are in bed, I’ve got animals that need tending.” She started out to the barn and Joel followed her.
“You don’t have to help.”
“I know.”
She stopped and stared at him. His obligation was over, so why help? Had Ross so warped her view of young men that she assumed there was a motive behind everything Joel did? There had been for Ross.
“What?” He cupped her cheek and his gaze searched hers. “Tell me.”
“It’s nothing. Usually I don’t have an adult helping me do these chores. Well, not since Vernon died.”
“I’m here and it’s the right thing to do. The Christian thing.”
The man managed to knock down every excuse, every reason she could come up with to run the opposite direction from him. He didn’t run from work, he helped others and her children adored him. No question was too stupid, no excuse why it couldn’t get done.
As they worked together on the chores, she said, “I hope Wes wasn’t too much trouble. I know you have to be dead tired, and driving out here was out of your way.”
“I didn’t mind.”
She knew there was more to that sentence, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.
When they walked into the kitchen, April felt tongue-tied and self-conscious. Joel took off his hat and hung it on the hook by the back door. As she stared at his hat, it seemed way too intimate, as if he were the man of the house.
“Have you eaten?”
He flushed. “No. I would’ve gotten something from Hank, but things got crazy toward the end of the night.”
“All I have to offer is bologna sandwiches, since someone ate the rest of the roast last night.”
“It was a good roast. But a sandwich sounds great.” He settled at the kitchen table.
Being alone with Joel in the kitchen at the end of the day felt too homey. “Todd enjoyed himself so much that he wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about falling asleep.”
“Well, cowboys, even little shavers like him, have their pride. But he had fun.”
“Seeing all the kids enjoying themselves was—” She swallowed. “I didn’t realize how much of a downer I’d become.” She choked back her tears.
Suddenly Joel’s strength and warmth were at her back.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve had a lot on your plate.”
She leaned back against him, soaking up his strength. His arms slid around her waist. He rested his chin on the top of her head. “So far, I haven’t been doing too well.”
“You’ve got great kids.”
She nodded and concentrated on making the sandwiches. “Sorry I don’t have something more, uh—adult. I do have peanut butter and jelly. But with the bologna I’ve got lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and sweet peppers if you want.�
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“Hey, I’ve been known to pack my own peanut-butter-and-grape-jelly sandwiches when Gramps and I were out working the ranch.”
“PBJ? At your age, I’m impressed.”
“Hey, there’s nothing better than PBJ. It’s saved my bacon at the end of a long day more than once. Gramps even loved them.”
She piled the plates with sandwiches and chips and placed them on the table. “Coffee?”
“Anytime, anywhere.”
She poured only one cup of coffee and a glass of water and placed them on the table.
“Water?”
“If I drink coffee late, I don’t sleep well.” She didn’t need to add that phenomenon had only occurred since he showed up at the ranch.
After a quick prayer, they started eating.
April stood and opened one of the cabinet doors, reached to the back, pulled out a Twinkie and set it before him.
“Ah, you know how to win a man’s heart.”
His statement hung in the air.
“Those are the boys’ favorite. I hide them and get them out as a reward.”
“Is this a reward for me?”
“Yes.” April blushed at the implication. She hadn’t meant to suggest that, but maybe subconsciously she had. “You deserve this for all your help. And you’ve shown us how to have fun.”
He picked up the Twinkie and grinned. “I’d forgotten how much I loved these. When I found it in the lunch you packed for me, it was a treat.” He put the treat down and tore into his sandwich. “My mom used these as rewards, too, but both my father and grandfather sneaked them all the time. When she wanted to give one to me or my sister, she’d find them all gone. So she started buying two boxes and hid one in her laundry room. She knew that neither my dad nor Gramps would darken the door of the laundry room.”
A sense of contentment settled over her as she watched Joel wolf down the food she’d made him. She wouldn’t tell him about the crazy calls she’d gotten from the school and the outlandish assumptions her neighbors and friends were making.
“Folks at the rodeo mention your boys, impressed with their eagerness. Most of the guys told me how old they were when they joined the rodeo and what they were doing when they were Wes’s and Todd’s ages. A lot of reminiscing and funny stories surfaced that made us laugh. Those stories let your sons know they’re regular boys. It encouraged them.”
His words were balm to her battered soul. Maybe she’d done something right, supported by her in-laws.
Once Joel finished the last of his sandwich, he opened the Twinkie.
The production he made of eating the treat made her laugh. “You weren’t kidding, were you?”
“There are some things you never outgrow.”
She fell silent, thinking about what Millie had told her.
“I saw you and Millie talking.”
“She told me about how Mike and she went on the road. She also talked about you.”
He stilled. “Oh?”
“She said you were serious about winning that belt buckle. And that you weren’t like the younger cowboys. Is that buckle that important to you?”
He stood and reached down for her hand and pulled her outside to the porch swing. They settled by each other and he slipped his arm around her shoulders. “A couple of years ago my church put together a charity rodeo to help the ranchers who were suffering through the drought. As I worked on it, something inside me woke up. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when my sister started questioning me about my whistling, I stopped and thought about it. I used to whistle a lot as a teen. When I came home after the accident, I don’t remember whistling until we started organizing the rodeo. Sis keyed in on that. I don’t think I would’ve gone back on the circuit without her encouragement, but as I thought about it, I knew I had to try to fulfill that promise.”
April held her breath.
“But meeting a certain widow and her children has put other ideas in my head.”
She could breathe again.
“I’ve been thinking about life after this rodeo season. I won’t make another year of traveling and doing a rodeo every week, three or four competitions at each stop. My aches have aches.”
“So, have you come to any conclusion on what you might do?”
He hugged her. “Well, it depends on how a certain lady feels.”
“About what?”
“About a certain older cowboy who’d like to try ranching again.”
Her mouth went dry. “Where would that cowboy like to ranch?”
He looked around. “I don’t know. He hasn’t made up his mind, but he’s been looking.”
“Well, he might want to try out here in the Panhandle, because a certain lady rancher will not move and leave her children’s inheritance. That ranch has been in their family for five generations. And she will not have any more kids.”
He paused. “Sounds reasonable when your roots are that deep in the soil, as if the very ground becomes part of your soul. I don’t think that cowboy has thought it through. He’s just flying by the seat of his pants and would have to think on it.”
He opened his mouth to say something more, then snapped it shut. After a moment, he said, “I need to go and let you get some rest. Thanks for the bologna sandwich and Twinkie.” He pulled her to her feet and brushed a kiss across her lips. “See you tomorrow?”
* * *
Later that night, April lay in bed wide-awake. Her body complained, exhausted from the day’s activity, but her mind didn’t heed the message.
What had just happened? She’d thought he’d put out that story about the old cowboy as a dry run for a marriage proposal, then poof, he’d up and said goodbye. What had spooked him? Was it her saying she wouldn’t have any more kids?
He’d thrown her a major curve. She didn’t understand.
Okay, she’d fantasized about what it would be like to have Joel here all the time, helping her with the ranch and being there for the children. But the sticking point was Joel traveling, following the rodeo. They hadn’t talked about it. Instead he’d asked if she’d love an old cowboy. That she could do without any problems. She was no spring chicken herself. But from their talks, he sounded as though he wanted to finish pursuing that prize belt buckle this year. Could she live with that?
Sitting up in bed, she put her pillow behind her back. “Can I do that?” she whispered. Could she buy him finishing this year?
She didn’t know. And if he finished this year on the circuit, would he be satisfied once he won the belt buckle?
And if he didn’t win, would he want to try again next year? He said he didn’t, but how invested was he in this dream? What would it take for him to be satisfied? She’d lived through that nightmare before, and she didn’t want to go for round two. And there was more than her to consider.
With each question, a little more of her joy and excitement drained out.
She’d made some stupid mistakes when she’d been eighteen, jumping into marriage without knowing what she was getting into. She would not make that mistake again.
Satisfied with her decision, she drifted off to sleep. The last thing she thought about was Joel walking out to the barn with her, willing to help with chores.
What a romantic she was.
* * *
Joel woke with a start. He heard the boom of lightning. He opened the door to the trailer, but there was no rain. In the distance, Joel saw the sky blink with strikes of lightning. Of course he knew how wicked lightning could be, since his family’s ranch had once taken a direct hit, frying every bit of electronic equipment in the house including the fifty-inch flat-screen TV Gramps and he had mounted on the living room wall.
He slipped on his short boots and checked Spice, who was still housed in the auditorium building. He ran into Jack.
“Are you here to check on your horse?” Jack asked. He wore just a T-shirt, jeans and running shoes.
“Yeah. Spice is normally calm if she’s inside.” He glanced at the corral. Th
e horses moved about the enclosure, listening, agitated.
“Let’s hope the storm ends quickly and doesn’t come our way.”
“I’ll stay here and keep watch on the horses,” Joel offered. “You can go back to bed.”
“Naw, I won’t go to sleep until things settle down. Besides, if the horses get spooked, you’ll need more than one man, unless you’ve turned into one of those superheroes that are so popular. We could call you Cowboy Man.”
“Boy, waking you isn’t a pretty thing, is it?”
Jack laughed. “That’s what my wife always says.”
They found two folding chairs and placed them against the wall.
Conflicting thoughts and emotions twisted through Joel, much like the twisters that plague Texas in the spring. Earlier this evening when Wes had asked him to stay, the notion had shot straight to his heart, focusing all those feelings Joel had been dancing around. Where that old-cowboy story had come from, he had no idea. But once the words were out of his mouth, he’d gotten cold feet. He wanted to think about it.
“Your thoughts are so loud I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to,” Jack said, stopping Joel’s internal debate.
“What?”
“Something’s got you hopped up and concerned.”
“Were you married when you won your belt buckle for bull riding?”
“No, but I was engaged. She wanted me to stop.”
“But it was after you won, right?”
“We had a deal. I did rodeo the season after we married, but it was hard on her, and when she got pregnant, well, I couldn’t travel worried about her and the baby.”
“So how’d you get back into rodeo?” Joel rubbed his chin.
“I never let my contacts lag and ten years ago, Steve Carter needed someone to step into the role of manager. Since I wasn’t going to do events and my company was downsizing, the job appeared at the right time and I had no objections from the wife. Why? Are you thinking of taking the plunge?”
“Could be.” But before he could explain further, thunder rattled the building. The horses panicked. Soaked cowboys came running, ropes in hand, in case they needed to catch some of the more agitated horses.
The downpour lasted only ten minutes. Once the excitement died down, everyone went to bed.
Joel walked to his trailer. After shucking off his boots, he stretched out on the bed.