Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

  I don’t know if he felt me staring, but a second later he turned to look in my direction. Even from a distance I could see how light his eyes were. As soon as I realized I was staring at him, I let my own eyes fall. I was sure I must be flushing all shades of pink.

  I risked a glance in time to see him say something to the group he was with and wave the hand holding the cup toward the door. He was probably coming in for another drink. I didn’t know what to do. What if he had seen me staring? What if he came over to me? He wouldn’t do that, would he? He wouldn’t leave his friends to walk toward a dorky girl? I decided it might be a good time for a bathroom break. There was no way I was going to let him see me look like an idiot from a closer vantage point.

  I turned quickly and walked in the direction I had seen a group of girls head just moments before. Luckily, I made it to the line without him seeing me. I stood against the wall and waited my turn, wondering what I should do when I was done. I had to head back to the party eventually. As I got closer to the first spot in line, I decided I was being crazy. What did it matter that I had seen a cute guy? There were cute guys everywhere. At least that’s what I’d always heard.

  I went into the bathroom determined not to linger, good thing because it smelled like someone had already drank too much and gone in there to puke. If I were really serious about avoiding him I would have suffered the smell, but since that was just insane, I forced myself to walk out. I opened the door and walked out and right into him.

  “I thought I saw you head this way!” he said with a laugh. He was holding two drinks now and offered one to me. I responded with a blank stare. His smile was amazing. And his eyes were a wintergreen mint so clear that I wouldn’t have believed they were real except there was no way contact lenses could produce a color that translucent.

  “I’m Benjamin,” he told me, though I was so entranced at the time that I couldn’t be sure what he said. I looked at him but couldn’t speak. “You know usually, when a person says his name, the other person says hers,” he continued with a smile.

  I realized I probably looked like a complete moron and somehow managed to say, “Atty. Atancia. My friends call me Atty,”

  “Nice to meet you, Atty. I thought maybe you were trying to avoid me when you turned as I walked in. But I guess you just needed to use the ladies’ room.” He was still smiling. I was still staring. I blinked.

  “Yeah, sorry. It didn’t occur to me you were coming in to talk to me,” I explained, and immediately wondered why I would say something so stupid. Why didn’t I pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about and that I hadn’t seen him?

  “Why wouldn’t I come in to talk to you?” he asked sincerely.

  “I don’t know you,” I told him, then looked away pretending to scan the room for someone whom I did know.

  “Well, that’s true. But I wanted you to know me. That’s why I came in,” he replied.

  I was stuck again. What was I supposed to say in response to something like that? I just smiled dumbly.

  “You want to dance?” He put the drinks down on a table and held out his hand. The song playing was a salsa; I knew that normally I could manage the steps but I wasn’t sure if I could do it in the stupor he had me in. He was still standing there with his hand out. “Maybe we’ll have better luck dancing than conversing,” he joked.

  I needed something funny to say, but what? I hesitated one more second, then looked away in hopes that it would clear my head. “You don’t look like you can salsa,” I said, trying to smirk. He really didn’t look the type. You didn’t usually see tall, tan, blond boys dancing salsa in Miami.

  “Is that a challenge?” he retorted and stopped waiting for me to take his hand. He reached over, grabbed mine and then led me to where everyone was dancing.

  He found us a spot toward the edge of the crowd and took hold of my waist with his free hand. Up close I could smell traces of his cologne; it was earthy but light, like a wooden spoon dipped in green tea with honey. He stepped toward me with the beat, so I stepped back with him, and we got into the rhythm. He kept it simple for the first few seconds; then he switched to a side step. I caught on and moved with him. He pulled me closer to him and I felt a rush of adrenaline, at least I assumed that’s what it was. My body felt as if touching him had given it an electrical charge. My mind had been a bit slow on the uptake, but my body didn’t need any catch-up time, it moved with him easily.

  He freed my waist and led me into a twirl. I was elated when I finished the turn and we were still in rhythm; I was worried that I’d miss a step. He pulled me close again to yell over the song. “See, I told you this would be easier than talking.” I smiled in response and kept stepping to the beat.

  By the second song I was completely relaxed. I don’t think I’m Latin by ancestry, but my Nana had taught me to feel this music. I loved losing myself in a song and dancing for the joy of the movement. His presence was a bonus. I couldn’t help giving my hips an extra pop, knowing that his hand was there to feel them sway.

  We danced for the next three songs, two salsas and a merengue. By then I realized it wasn’t just luck that kept me in step, he was an excellent lead. I’d only danced with a few boys before, but their movements were uncertain, as if they weren’t sure I would follow where they led. Ben moved with confidence. I could tell exactly where he wanted me to go just from the shift in his grip. It was amazing. By the end of the merengue, I was giggling and out of breath.

  “You want to take a break?” he asked. I nodded and we headed out the sliding door I’d first seen him through. He went to the drink table and got me a bottle of water.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “So is the ice broken? Can you speak now?” he asked.

  I laughed as I twisted the top of my bottle. “Yes, I think so. Although, that comment almost made me self-conscious again.”

  “Sorry,” he laughed. “I seem to have a problem not saying stupid things to you.”

  “Oh please,” I responded. “You’ve been fine. I’m the one who keeps acting like an idiot.”

  We both laughed, and he held his hand out toward a bench in the backyard. We walked over to it and sat down. It was a bit secluded, and it made it easier to hear him over the noise of the party. All around us the bushes lining the fence twinkled with Christmas lights. The scent of jasmine blooming nearby drifted on the breeze, giving the air a fairy-tale sweetness.

  “So where’d you learn to dance like that?” he asked. “No offense, but you don’t look like the type who can salsa either.”

  I laughed for a second, but he was right on that count. I have brown hair, but my skin is fair and freckled. Combine that with my grey-blue eyes and I am definitely more likely to be of European descent than Latin. “My Nana taught me. She’s Cuban.”

  “Your Nana?” he asked.

  “Yes, sorry. I call her Nana, but her name is Natalia. She’s like my adoptive grandmother. She took care of me when my mother left.”

  “When did your mother leave?” he asked with concern in his eyes.

  “About a month after I was born,” I replied.

  There must have been something off about my expression because he immediately apologized, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. You don’t have to talk about it.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s all right,” I told him. “Everyone I know has heard about it, you might as well too. I don’t know why she left. I just know that she was friends with Nana and that she left me with her so I would be safe.”

  “And you don’t know where she is or where she came from?” he asked.

  “Nope. Nana said she never talked about her past.”

  “Hmmm. I suppose you must be curious though,” he told me.

  I nodded and said, “Sometimes.” Even though I was OK with talking about this, I really didn’t want to get into it. It was too heavy a topic for a party. I decided to change the subject.

  “So where are you from? Latin dancing ability aside, you don’t seem l
ike you’re from here. Something about your accent isn’t right, though I can’t really place where it’s from.”

  “I don’t think even I can place it actually,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve moved around so much that it must just be a jumble now.”

  “Well, where do you live now?” I asked him.

  “In Australia, the Blue Mountains just out of Sydney.” He looked at my face to gauge my reaction. I couldn’t help looking a little awed. He seemed to like that because he started to smile.

  “What are you doing at a New Year’s Eve party in Miami?”

  “Looking for you,” he said. His expression was so serious that I started to feel nervous again. Then he started to laugh. “I’m sorry, that was so cheesy. It sounded better in my head.”

  I started laughing too. “You had me for a second there,” I confessed.

  “I’m actually here doing some business for my father. He couldn’t come, so I graciously offered to represent him for the small price of a trip to Miami,” he said with a smirk.

  “How very kind of you,” I laughed. “I’m sure you’ve had a torturous time.”

  “Oh yes, simply horrid!” he mocked.

  “So you’re not in college then?” I asked. Nana wouldn’t like it if he were much older.

  “Nope. I just graduated actually, kind of why I wanted a nice long trip to celebrate.”

  “Sounds great. I can’t wait to graduate.”

  “How much longer do you have?”

  “Three and a half years!” I moaned.

  “So you just started? Why are you in such a hurry?”

  “I don’t know, I’m just tired of school. Tired of not knowing what I’m going to be doing with my life,” I told him.

  “Well, even once you graduate you probably won’t know what you’re doing with your life. Maybe you shouldn’t worry about that and just enjoy being in college. It’s fun, you know.”

  “That’s what everyone keeps telling me, but so far it hasn’t been that much fun. All I do is study and worry about studying,” I told him.

  “Sounds like you’re a bit of a worrier,” he said with a smile.

  “You could definitely say that. I don’t want to do anything that will delay me from my future. If I waste all my energy partying, then I could end up being in college for like ten years,” I said laughing.

  “Well, I’m glad that you at least took the time to come party tonight,” he said.

  “Me too.” I was a bit embarrassed again so I moved on to another question. “So what did you study?”

  “Business. It’s a family thing,” he said.

  “Sounds like you really enjoyed that.”

  “Actually, I did. Luckily, I tend to like the same things that my family likes. I’m not much of a rebel,” he explained.

  “What does your family do?”

  “All sorts of stuff. I don’t want to bore you with it all. What are you studying?”

  “I’m actually not sure yet. There are just so many things I like. I want to know about literature and languages, about psychology and history, I even like computer science. I just can’t decide which to pick as a major,” I explained.

  “Then maybe it’s a good thing that you still have three and a half years to go,” he laughed.

  “I guess so,” I replied.

  We stayed on the bench talking for almost an hour. He fascinated me with tales about some of the places he had lived, and I bored him with stuff about school. I didn’t have much to offer in conversation other than where I had gone to high school and what I liked to do for fun. I didn’t mention that most of my friends had left Miami, and I definitely didn’t say anything about not having many new friends. I didn’t want to look like a complete loser so soon after meeting him.

  Suddenly we heard the New Year’s countdown start in the patio. We got up and walked to where everyone was listening to the radio. Five, four, three—I didn’t think I could handle kissing him this soon but I wondered if he was thinking about it too—two, one! He just smiled widely and then rolled his eyes at a couple next to us who looked like they needed a room.

  “I’m really glad I got to start this year with you,” he said. “I wish I could end it with you too.”

  I was smiling so hard I could feel my cheeks beginning to ache. Then the music started blaring, and we got caught in the crowd. We danced for a long time, but then I noticed how late it was getting. I didn’t want to worry Nana, especially on New Year’s because that’s when she worried most. “All the crazies come out on New Year’s,” she always said.

  I signaled that I needed to head toward the door. “I need to get going. It was really great meeting you,” I told him. I hoped he would at least give me his email address. Not that it mattered much; it wasn’t as if I could have a relationship with a guy who lived in Australia.

  “Meet me tomorrow,” he said. “For coffee? In the afternoon, maybe? I’m sure you’ll want to sleep in a bit this morning.”

  “OK. That sounds nice. Where do you want to meet?”

  “Why don’t you pick a place? I’m not from around here, remember?”

  “Right, someplace easy to find then. For coffee?” I babbled. He just smiled and nodded.

  “How about on U.S. 1? South Miami. There’s a little coffee shop there. Can you find that?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I think that should be easy enough,” he said.

  I told him the name of the place and the cross street. “It’s by the university, near one of the metrorail stops but on the opposite side. On the east side of U.S.1,” I clarified, glad that I could at least tell him that much because if he had asked me for directions, I probably wouldn’t have been able to give them.

  “Great, see you there. Around two o’clock? Is that all right?” he asked.

  “Perfect. See you then,” I said.

  I did a sort of silly wave at him, and he laughed and waved back. When I got to the door, I turned around for a second and saw that he was still standing there smiling at me. I waved again and headed out before I could embarrass myself anymore.

  Chapter 4

  I woke up to bright sunlight breaking through my shades. I was a bit surprised by it. I didn’t realize I had truly fallen asleep. I must have dreamt that I was still awake. My clock claimed that it was almost noon, but I wasn’t sure that I believed it. I rarely slept past 8 o’clock. I think my internal clock was set to be up for school.

  I decided that I better get up and shower if I didn’t want wet hair when I met Benjamin. As I rushed with the shampoo, I thought that maybe one day I should ask a hair dresser to show me how to use a dryer correctly. I rarely use a blow dryer because I have curly hair, so unless I’m straightening it, the dryer just makes it look like I’m a brunette Einstein impersonator.

  I finished getting dressed and went downstairs. Nana was already working on her lunch. I could smell the garlic and onions she was sautéing before I even got in the kitchen. It smelled so much like home to me, food cooked by someone you love.

  “¿Estas despierta?” she mocked. “I was afraid I would have to come up there with a bucket of water just to make sure you were still alive.”

  “I’m fine, but thanks for worrying,” I said with a laugh.

  “So you had a good night?” she asked me.

  “Amazing,” I said, and I was sure that I blushed as I did because she took her wooden spoon out of the pan and wiggled it at me, grinning.

  “You met a boy, didn’t you?” she happily accused.

  “I must be really easy to read,” I sighed.

  “You are to me,” she replied. “Tell me about him!”

  I told her how Ben had approached me and how I’d been a total tongue-tied fool at first. I told her how good looking he was and how he had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen on anyone. She laughed when I told her I felt better after we started to dance.

  “You know, that’s how I met my Luis,” she said with a look that told me she was feeling nostalgic. “He asked me to
dance at a party my cousin was hosting. We danced together all night; I don’t think we skipped a single song,” she said.

  I thought she was probably exaggerating; either that, or she must have been in really good shape because I barely made it through a few songs last night. Latin party music is very upbeat.

  “He was such a good dancer,” she said with a melancholy smile. Luis was Nana’s husband. They got married shortly after meeting, but then he was killed during the revolution in Cuba. I think they had only been married a few months.

  “I’m sure he was a wonderful dancer if he could keep up with you!” I told her hoping to cheer her up. “I could barely follow you when you were teaching me to dance,” I said, and she laughed a bit.

  “So are you going to see this boy again?” she asked. “Did he ask you on a date?”

  “Actually, he asked me to meet him this afternoon for coffee,” I confessed.

  “That’s great! You go and have a good time. Stay in public, of course; you just met this boy,” she warned, but she said it with a smile that said she trusted my judgment. She just had to keep up with her parenting duties.

  “Hey, by the way,” she said to change subjects, “have you had any luck figuring out the De la Paz mystery?”

  “Nope, only one person called me back, and she didn’t know anything about my mom. I’m still deciding whether to call the others again. I don’t want to seem like some crazy person who’s after them,” I told her.

  “I doubt they would think that, but I guess if they knew what you were talking about they would have already called back. Still, it couldn’t hurt to check, maybe they didn’t catch the phone number or something,” she advised.

  “I guess so. I’ll try to call tomorrow. New Year’s Day isn’t really the best time to bother people,” I said. She just nodded and turned her attention to stirring the ground beef she had just added to her frying veggies.

  A couple hours later I was waiting to order a latte at the coffee shop. I figured I’d get my coffee and sit down to wait for him. I’d probably look silly standing around waiting with nothing to drink.