Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

  “Well, I’ll think about it, but right now I don’t know that I’m ready to head back to that kind of reality.”

  “That’s fine, but if you ever decide you want to, just let me know.”

  “I will.”

  Chapter 21

  The nights were getting colder as winter approached and, though I loved cuddling with Ben to keep me warm wherever we went, I decided I should probably go shopping. I wasn’t sure of sizes, so I didn’t want to shop online. I told Ben I was fine with just buying whatever I could find nearby, but he insisted we go to Sydney. I felt bad making him drive that far, but he didn’t seem to mind and it occurred to me how crazy it was that I had yet to see Sydney. I had been so upset when we first arrived that I didn’t want to enjoy something as exciting as a city I had scarcely allowed myself to dream I might see. It hadn’t felt fair to Nana for me to be happily wandering around Sydney after what had happened. If I thought about it, though, she would have been really mad if she knew I was skipping things so that I could be sad for her instead.

  We got to Sydney around lunch time, so Ben said he would take me to a restaurant he thought I’d like. He said the food wasn’t spectacular, but the view definitely was. He wasn’t exaggerating. It was a little café that faced Sydney Harbour. From our table we could see both the Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House. It occurred to me I might be dreaming rather than actually sitting there having a sandwich.

  “You think you’ll be up for a show later?” Ben asked. “I could get us tickets.”

  “A show?”

  “At the Opera House.”

  “You mean, go watch an opera at the Sydney Opera House?” I asked, no longer capable of bringing the food up to my mouth, I was so excited.

  “Well, I didn’t want to be that redundant, but yes, watch an opera at the Sydney Opera House.”

  “Yes!” I squealed. I loved to sing, but I had never dreamt of being a professional singer myself. I had always admired people who were, and at that moment I couldn’t think of any singer more professional than one performing at the Sydney Opera House. Ben had no idea how happy he had just made me.

  “OK, I’ll get tickets for tonight. We can stay at my apartment unless you want to drive back after.”

  “You have an apartment here? Talk about redundant,” I teased.

  “Very funny. There are times when work keeps me busy here, and I don’t feel like driving more than an hour back and forth.”

  After lunch, Ben took me to a store he said would be great for our purposes. He wanted me to buy a heavy coat and several thick shirts and jeans. He thought I should get boots too. It felt strange shopping for such heavy winter items when it wasn’t really that cold in Sydney. He said that the mountains would be a lot colder, especially in a few weeks.

  When I went to pay, he was faster than me. I protested, but he insisted on paying. “Ben, I have money. You don’t have to do that.”

  “There’s no need to waste it on this. Nana left you that so it would last awhile.”

  “But…” I had been about to tell him that it wasn’t Nana’s money I was using when I remembered he didn’t know about the account I had opened with my mother’s money. It occurred to me that it was not a good time to get into it, so I stopped objecting and let him pay.

  “Come on, there’s one more store we have to visit,” he said.

  I couldn’t imagine what else he wanted me to buy, but when we walked into the other store, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it myself considering the plans we’d made at lunch. I couldn’t go to the opera dressed in jeans.

  “These dresses seem really fancy, Ben.”

  “That’s the point,” he replied while giving me an amused smirk.

  “Does everyone really dress up this much to go see an opera?”

  “No, some people even dress quite casually, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one of these dresses.”

  “Nice. Won’t I look out of place?”

  “You don’t have to go in a full gown if you don’t want to, but maybe something like this?” He held out a charcoal-colored silk dress. It was sleeveless with a draped neckline and a low back. It wasn’t full length but rather would hit a few inches above my knee.

  “I thought you said I should buy warm clothing.”

  “We’ll get you a nice coat,” he said, his eyes twinkling, and I couldn’t help laughing at his expression.

  “All right, I’ll try it on.”

  In the fitting room I liked the dress even more. The top didn’t make my shoulders look too wide, which I always had a problem with. I couldn’t wear strapless dresses because I just was not petite enough. They didn’t make me look feminine at all. The neckline of this dress had such a soft look that it balanced my shoulders to my hips. The color brought out the blue in my eyes. After admiring it for a while, I decided I would need some heels to complete the effect.

  Instead of coming out for Ben to give me his opinion, I decided to keep the look a surprise. I took it off and went to find shoes while he whined that he had wanted to see the dress on me. I told him not to worry, that he would see it that night. I made him stop at a cosmetics store, so I could get some makeup and was happy that I managed to pay for my stuff while he was distracted. I was already making mental notes about how much money I owed him.

  Ben’s apartment building was in front of a park that he said was the Royal Botanical Gardens. He said if I wanted we could walk through them the next day. The apartment was modest in size and had two bedrooms and one bath. A small living room was surrounded by windows—we were in the corner of the building. He had a view of the gardens, and I stood staring at them for a while, Ben watching me from the couch and smiling.

  “You like it?”

  “Yes. Very much.”

  “Well, don’t worry, you can stare all you want tomorrow. I’d recommend you get dressed soon though, if you want to make it on time. Are you going to want dinner?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  I headed to the bathroom and took a shower; then I went into the room where Ben had laid out the dress and got to work on my makeup and hair. I didn’t have time to blow dry it straight so I didn’t want it loose, it wouldn’t look neat. I decided to put it up in a soft bun instead, with some of my curls escaping. Once I was ready, I stepped back into the living room where Ben was still sitting, though now he was wearing a dark suit.

  He turned to look when he felt me coming, and his eyes lit up. “You look amazing, Atty.”

  I blushed and returned the compliment. He looked so good in the suit, definitely sexier than anyone I’d ever seen—even more than Matt with his guitar. I wondered what had made me think Matt was better looking then. I couldn’t imagine any man more dashing than Ben at the moment.

  He rose from the couch and walked to me. He lightly traced the line of my hair with his right hand while his left pulled me closer. We started kissing and time passed with neither of us noticing. A honk from the street below startled me back to reality, and I saw the time on the clock in the kitchen behind Ben. I slowly stopped kissing him and reminded him of the time. He reluctantly let me go, and we headed to the car.

  The sun was getting close to the horizon when we drove toward the opera house. We were running late, so we didn’t linger outside. I was glad that the dress I had gotten wasn’t long; I would have probably tripped in the rush. Ben led me to our seats without even stopping to check with the usher. I wondered if he knew the floor plan by memory or if he had sat there before. I figured the boxes were for season tickets though, and we were in the stalls, four rows back from the stage and right in the center.

  I had never been to an opera so I didn’t know whether I’d like it, but I knew that I could happily sit in that venue staring at grass grow and still be amazed. How many people actually got the chance to go there? No one I knew had ever been to Australia, let alone the Sydney Opera House. As the show began, I again couldn’t help feeling that perhaps I was dreaming. Not only was I sitting there list
ening to singers whose voices gave me goosebumps, I was sitting there with Ben, who gave me goosebumps for other reasons.

  He spent the show trailing his fingers over my wrist and arm. He’d hold my hand for a while, then reach for the curls near my ear and softly play with them. Though I was captivated by the singers, occasionally I’d turn to see his reaction to an emotional note and find him staring at me rather than the stage. When the final song reached its climax, he wove his fingers into my hair and made me face him before kissing me zealously. I was glad it was dark so fewer people could see us clearly. By the time the performance was over I was so dizzy from his ministrations that I couldn’t stand right away.

  Somehow we managed to get out of the building and start walking toward Circular Quay, where we had eaten lunch. A few steps from the Opera House, right by the water, there was a bar. It was abuzz with patrons and Ben asked if I wanted to stop, but I told him I was enjoying our walk. When we got to a quiet spot, he leaned against the railing that ran along the harbor and turned me so that I looked back at the Opera House. The usually white sails were illuminated in a pattern of color reminiscent of the aurora borealis.

  “Wow! That’s so beautiful.” I gasped in astonishment.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  I turned my eyes to his and we started to kiss again. Suddenly, I wanted to get back to his apartment. I was enjoying this closeness to him, and I didn’t want to feel as if we were being watched. “Ben, let’s go back,” I sighed between kisses.

  “Where?”

  “To your place.”

  He looked at me incredulously and smiled. He took my hand, and we found our way back to the car and then to his apartment. He was quieter than I expected as we walked into the bedroom, almost hesitant. I took his hand and pulled him toward the bed. At its edge, I kissed him and cupped his face with my fingers while he did the same to me. The kiss was slow, calm; he seemed to be deciding whether to fully participate.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked, kissing just below his jawline, by his ear.

  “How far are we taking this, Atty? I need to know now, before I get myself in trouble. I’m finding you very irresistible tonight.”

  “Then stop resisting.”

  “I don’t want to push you into anything.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the one pushing.” He gave a slight chuckle and I smiled. I wanted to be as close to him as possible. I wanted everything from him. I climbed on the bed, kneeled on the mattress and reached back to the zipper of my dress. I stared into his eyes as I lowered the zipper, making the bodice of the dress loose enough to slightly slip off my shoulders. He traced his fingers down my neck and pushed at the fabric on my left side, making it fall to my elbow. He bent down and kissed the curve of my neck, just where it met my shoulder. A soft shot of current made me shudder.

  He turned his attention back to my face, and I could see the question in his eyes again so I said confidently, “I don’t want to stop tonight.” I couldn’t imagine ever regretting this. I couldn’t imagine ever looking back and wishing I hadn’t done this with him. The night had been so perfect; I wanted to finish it right.

  He kissed me urgently and climbed onto the bed beside me, his hands slipping over the spot of my skin that the zipper had covered moments before. Still on our knees, we inched our way to the center of the bed as he lowered my dress down to my waist, and I unbuttoned his shirt. I was surprised by the fact that I didn’t feel the slightest bit self-conscious. Being with him felt natural, perfect.

  Every bit of my skin longed to touch him, to pull whatever energy he could offer, and I did my best to accommodate it, even running my toes up and down his legs to feel the stream of power there. He touched and kissed every inch of me, and I tried to do the same for him, but when he sucked on my earlobe I was almost incapacitated by the feeling—the energy that drifted there was soft as a whisper from his lips.

  Soon my entire body surged with current frantic for release, and his draw soothed it like ice cream on the burn of spice. He tasted better than either, both to my mouth and my skin; though, it wasn’t really my skin that tasted him. It was something within me, in my cells, that found his specific current to be so delicious. For the first time I let myself fully savor his taste and his feel and his presence.

  Chapter 22

  Soft rays of light snuck through the curtains when I awoke the next morning. A few spots shimmered on the sheets that covered me and Ben. I watched them rise and fall with his breath. By the time he opened his eyes, I was fully enthralled and he caught me staring. He closed his eyes again and smiled widely. “Morning,” he whispered.

  “Good morning to you, too.”

  He opened his eyes, “How you feeling?”

  “Quite well, thank you,” I said, smiling teasingly back at him.

  “Just quite well?” he objected.

  “Amazing.”

  “That’s better.”

  He kissed my forehead and asked what I wanted to do. I gave him a suggestive smile, and he didn’t have to ask again.

  By mid-morning, I was craving actual food. I had skipped dinner the night before, and I still wasn’t ready to give up on eating entirely. Ben asked if I wanted to walk through the park; there was a path that led back to Circular Quay, and we could find someplace to eat.

  We got dressed and made our way downstairs. We left the building and walked toward the Gardens. The park was surrounded by high buildings, and the contrast of nature and steel was impressive. We were strolling through a green world edged with silver. The sky was a deep blue behind the buildings and a few white clouds floated slowly by. It was different there, but just as beautiful as in the mountains.

  Ben pointed toward a fountain and explained that there had once been a beautiful palace there, but it had burned down. It wasn’t really a palace, he explained, just an exhibition building, but it had been amazing just the same. At first hearing him speak, I assumed he meant he had seen pictures of it, but then it occurred to me that perhaps he’d actually seen it.

  “Were you here when it happened?”

  “No, I was in Europe then, but I was here when it was built.”

  “It must have been a lot different here then.”

  “It was.”

  “You’ll have to tell me about it sometime.”

  He nodded, and we kept walking. Soon we came upon a path parallel to the water of the harbor. As it curved I understood exactly where we were. In front of us was the Opera House, its sails a brilliant white in the sunlight. I took a moment to admire it again before continuing toward the Quay. We eventually found a nice restaurant to have breakfast. Ben said that if I wanted we could stay in Sydney a few days. That sounded good to me. I liked that we were the only ones in his apartment, and I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else felt us doing.

  A few days later, we had seen several of the tourist sites. We had visited Darling Harbour and the Sydney Aquarium, wandered through a historic neighborhood called the Rocks, and even climbed to the top of the Harbour Bridge. Ben said we should head back to the mountains, if for no other reason than to recharge at the reserve, but he promised we could come back whenever I wanted.

  The drive up to the reserve was quiet except for the occasional beep of Ben’s phone receiving a message, and I only noticed that because his phone was almost always quiet. I was enjoying the scenery this time; the last time that we had driven from Sydney toward the mountains, I hadn’t felt well enough to really appreciate it. As we pulled up to the reserve, we realized something was wrong. Lynn was climbing into the back of a pickup truck while a man who was presumably its driver yelled from inside the truck bed. Ben parked quickly, and we got out to see what was going on.

  “Ben!” Lynn called. “Help me, it’s a kangaroo.” Ben rushed toward the truck, and I followed.

  “It’s been hit by a car. He saw it happen and brought it here for help. Martha’s on her way, but we need to do something. It’s losing blood so quickly.” />
  Ben climbed onto the truck with Lynn and the other man, and I just watched, panicked. I could feel how faint the kangaroo’s energy was, I didn’t think it would last another few minutes. I could feel something else too—there was a joey in its pouch. It was small, and I didn’t think Lynn had realized it was hiding in there. The joey’s energy wasn’t stable; it was probably also injured.

  Ben yelled something at Lynn about bandages, and she grabbed the driver and pulled him to help her. They ran inside, and Ben looked at me. “Atty, quickly, you need to transfer to the joey, take what you can from the mother and do it.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked at his words.

  “Hurry, Atty. Lynn and that guy are going to come out any second. We don’t have time. The mother’s not going to make it. You have to save the joey. You don’t have enough in you, take it from her.”

  “No, Ben, I’ll kill the joey too. I can’t!”

  “You can, Atty. Please, try.” It was a soft request that I couldn’t deny.

  I climbed on the truck with him and reached for the mother’s energy. There wasn’t much, but it would be enough to sustain something as small as her joey. Ben was already reaching into the pouch. He pulled out the joey and held it up so I could reach. I pushed what I had drawn from its mother into it and could feel the joey’s energy stabilizing. Lynn burst through the front doors again, and I heard the screech of tires behind us.

  “I’m here!” yelled the young woman who had jumped out of the car behind us. She ran to the truck, and I could feel she was Durand. She must either be young or had lost control of herself in the rush.

  “The mother’s gone, Martha, take the baby.” Ben handed the joey over to Martha and Lynn’s eyes widened at the sight of it.

  “There was a joey in there?” she asked.

  “Apparently,” said Martha. “I think its leg is broken. It might have internal injuries as well. We need to get it inside to the clinic.” She ran inside, Lynn at her heels and Ben and I were left outside, alone.