Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

“What, we don’t even get a hello?” whined Javed through the window from the back seat.

  I broke from Ben for a second and smiled at him. “Hi, how was the trip?”

  “It was all right, thanks for asking,” Javed teased.

  “All right, leave her alone,” Ben dismissed his brothers with a wave and led me toward the door, his arm wrapped across my lower back, hand on my hip.

  “We’ll, um, see you later then!” Javed exclaimed behind us and began to laugh as the car drove off.

  I turned to look, but they were leaving. “Aren’t they coming in? They just got home.”

  “I threatened their lives. They’ll be back later,” he said and winked.

  He was in a mood to show off and to drive me insane. He took his time leading me up the stairs, stopping intermittently to brush his lips against my hand, my cheek, my mouth. I’d missed how good he smelled, a mix of woods and leaves with just a little sweetness. Some of his scent had lingered in the room, but it wasn’t as enchanting as the real thing.

  When we finally made it to the room, he played with me, pulling at my shirt but then letting it fall back in place. I wanted to rip it off and his too, but he didn’t let me. Then he added another level of torture. He teased me with his shield, letting it drop then replacing it when I tried to touch him, preventing me from drawing anything from him. His control was impeccable; I couldn’t have reconstructed my shield at that moment if my life were in danger. By the time he had taken off our clothes and lowered me onto the bed, I was trembling from the need to feel him.

  His hands caressed both sides of my ribcage then slowly drifted to my waist and then my hips as his mouth made a path down my center. When his lips reached the spot they sought below my bellybutton, he dropped his shield and drew from me languidly with every part of him that touched me. I couldn’t stop myself from pushing up toward him, both with my body and my force. He lifted his eyes to mine with a smile and shook his head but never let his mouth fully break contact with my skin. “No cheating, you can’t push into me,” he mumbled.

  I threw my head back against the bed and let out a frustrated laugh. I stopped transferring to him and just let him pull. Once he was satiated, he worked his way back up my body until his lips reached mine. He left his shield down then, allowing me to draw as much as I wanted as he lay on top of me, our bodies pressing to each other in every place that was possible.

  Later, when I’d come back to my full senses, I asked Ben how the trip had gone. Apparently they had gotten a lot done and were close to getting the things they needed, but they were going to have to go back in a couple of days. “You would have stayed and finished the deal if it weren’t for me. Wouldn’t you?”

  “Perhaps. But don’t worry about it, Atty, it’s not a big deal. I didn’t want to leave you alone any longer.”

  “Well, I wasn’t exactly alone,” I replied, thinking of Matt and worrying about Emilius. “But I’m really happy you’re here right now.” I kissed him and then went on to show him how happy I was, again.

  We spent the next couple of days together, content to be close. The morning he was going to leave, he asked if he should call Frank.

  “No, it’s OK, I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

  “Not even to the reserve?”

  I hadn’t told him about the incident with the parrot. I was too happy with him home to ruin the mood with that story. “No, it didn’t go so well the last time. I’m not sure how many times I can take that.”

  “What happened?”

  I explained about losing the parrot and how horrible I had felt.

  “Atty, don’t let bad things like that keep you from trying. You know you can do it. You just have to figure it all out. The only way to find out how to use your power properly is to practice.”

  “I don’t like to practice with lives.”

  “Think of all the good you could do, Atty. Think of all the lives you will save once you figure this out.”

  I just nodded to stop the conversation, but he could tell I hadn’t changed my mind.

  “You’re sure you don’t want me to send Frank over? Not even to go somewhere other than the reserve?”

  “Don’t worry. If I need to go anywhere, I’ll call Matt. I’m more comfortable with him than with Frank.”

  “All right. I’ll call him too, make sure he’s answering his phone. That boy can be hard to find some times.”

  “Really? He’s always answered when I call.”

  “I bet.”

  I gave him a questioning look. Was he worried about his brother being with me? It hadn’t seemed that way before. He’d encouraged me to go with Matt.

  “Sorry. You’re right. Matt’s probably a better choice than Frank when it comes to keeping you company. At least I don’t have to worry that you might do something that Frank would consider odd.”

  “Very true.”

  We hugged goodbye, and Ben went out to meet his brothers at the car. I went to get breakfast. Ten minutes later Matt showed up at the house. He walked straight to the kitchen.

  “No crepes today,” he stated.

  “Nope, sorry. Just fried eggs with toast. Do you want some?”

  “Sure.”

  I fried a couple more eggs, and we sat down to eat.

  “Ben called me.”

  “I figured he would have waited more than a minute after leaving.”

  “Nope. He was worried about leaving you again. Said you didn’t want to leave the house.”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure I can handle the reserve.”

  “We can go someplace else if you want. But Atty, you should keep trying. If I could do what you can, I don’t think I would be able to concentrate on anything until I figured it out.”

  “I know. It’s just so depressing when it doesn’t work. I’m not sure how many more times I can take that.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “And stay, you mean?”

  “Yeah. I’ll go with you and stay to watch. Maybe we can figure it out.”

  “You sure there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing?” I said, my tone implying he might have another girl to visit.

  “Nah, it’s too early for anything else. And it’s too cold to go ride my bike.”

  Though I wasn’t sure I was ready to go to the reserve again, I couldn’t deny how sweet it was for him to offer to help me. And I liked that he would be with me and not some other girl, though that worried me too. I was with Ben, so why did being with Matt make me feel so good? Maybe it was just that it had been nice talking to him about everything the other day. I didn’t think he opened up that way to everyone, and I would love for him to do it again. I decided to go and hoped it wouldn’t turn into another crying disaster.

  When we arrived at the reserve, Lynn was bouncing up and down, talking to Martha and another girl whom I’d never seen before. “Atty, look!” Lynn exclaimed, raising her left hand to flash a diamond ring.

  “You got engaged!” Matt cheered from behind me.

  “Yes!” Lynn ran over to show us the ring more closely.

  “Congratulations, Lynn!” I said, though I hadn’t even known she was dating. Well, why would I? I’d barely talked to her about anything other than the reserve. Matt gave her a quick hug.

  “I’m so happy!” she said and jumped a little more.

  “Atty, come meet Cindy,” called Martha and motioned to the other girl who was with them as Lynn hugged Matt again.

  Cindy came in the afternoons, later than when I usually left. Lynn had called her and told her to come help with something so she could surprise her with the announcement. Cindy said hi to me, and we spoke for a few moments before she wandered over to Lynn and Matt.

  “Lynn seems really excited,” I told Martha.

  “She is. She’s been with her fiancé since her second year in college. She thought they weren’t going to get engaged until she finished vet school, but I guess he couldn’t wait.”

  “That’s sweet.”

&nb
sp; Martha nodded and smiled toward Lynn again.

  After the excitement had worn off, Lynn ran out with Cindy to feed some of the animals.

  “I’m glad you’re back, Atty. I really think you can help us,” Martha said.

  I tensed a little, wondering how much I would really help. Matt put his hand on my shoulder. I loved that he did it, but again worried why I did. I shifted casually so his hand would fall.

  “What can I do?” I asked Martha.

  “Nothing specific yet, I’m just glad you didn’t decide to abandon us,” she said, smiling.

  I smiled back and sighed in relief.

  “Do you mind if I use the computer for a moment?” I asked. Seeing Lynn sharing such good news with her friends reminded me of what a bad friend I was. I wrote a couple of emails to my girlfriends at home before trying to call Lizzie, but she wasn’t in. I sent her a quick note telling her I’d try again soon.

  Matt had gone outside after Lynn and Cindy, so I went out to look for them. They were standing next to a pen laughing about something. Both girls stood really close to Matt, and Cindy was twirling her hair. I smiled, guessing that Matt had a following there, too.

  “We could really use a big bloke like you to lift some of that heavy stuff,” Cindy was saying.

  Matt laughed some more and replied, “I doubt that you girls actually need my help. You do this every day.”

  “Which is why it’s such a nice break when you’re around!” she urged. That was all it took to convince him, and he walked off to pick up a big bucket of feed. The three of us watched him walk to get it. Cindy giggled and poked at Lynn.

  “I know. It should be illegal to look that good,” Lynn commented.

  “Lynn! Didn’t you just finish telling us how happy you are to be engaged?” I asked, surprised.

  “Please, Atty! Being in love doesn’t make me immune to lust. You can’t control your natural reaction to someone; you can only control what you do about it. I’m not about to wreck what I have to go after Matt, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to look either.”

  Cindy laughed next to her. “Well, I’m glad I’m not engaged!”

  They both started giggling, and I couldn’t help joining in. What Lynn had said made me feel better. I’d been worried about what it meant that I found Matt attractive even though I was dating his brother. She was right: I couldn’t help acknowledging that Matt was beautiful, but I didn’t have to do anything about it. I was in love with Ben. Maybe it was just flattering to have Matt’s attention sometimes. He could probably have any girl he wanted; I liked when he took the time to talk to me, but it didn’t mean he wanted me. He was obviously very good at getting any girl’s attention.

  There were no dramatic rescues at the reserve that day, and I was relieved. That, plus Lynn’s good mood, made it much easier to go the next morning. Matt came with me again. We walked around looking at the animals for a while and helped Lynn. Martha hadn’t come in. I transferred from one of the bigger kangaroos again and was feeling pretty calm as Matt and I headed out for the day. Just as we were reaching the door, I felt Martha coming.

  “Atty, quick. Another kangaroo’s been hit. A male, he’s very weak. Can you help?”

  I nodded, and we ran to the car. “He’s at my clinic; I didn’t want to move him. We have to hurry,” she urged.

  “I hadn’t realized there were so many ’roos living around here, Martha,” Matt said as we drove away from the reserve.

  “They rushed him in from near Megalong Valley,” she responded, but something in Matt’s expression made me think he doubted her. It hadn’t occurred to me that perhaps kangaroos didn’t actually live near this area, but I was too nervous about what would happen to focus on that. I noted that he didn’t ask her directly though; it made me wonder what answer he would have gotten.

  Minutes later we were running out of the car and into the clinic. It was empty, save a young man who was Martha’s assistant. He was in the room where Martha had sedated the kangaroo. Martha asked him to get her something, and he left the room.

  “Hurry, Atty, I don’t know how long he has,” Martha said, guiding me toward the animal.

  I didn’t inch away when Matt put his hand on my back this time. He was just trying to be supportive, and he wasn’t touching any skin. I appreciated it, actually. I hadn’t realized how hard I was shaking until I felt his hand steady me. I took a deep breath and went to work. The kangaroo was completely asleep. I touched it and let my guard down so I could transfer to it. Matt dropped his hand but kept standing beside me.

  I was relieved when the animal didn’t jerk or show signs of rejection. He just lay there, asleep. As I transferred, I saw Martha nodding. She was taking the kangaroo’s vitals, and I guess it was going well. I transferred as much as I could without getting weak and took my hand away, slowly restoring my shield. Matt put his hand on my back again, and Martha smiled.

  “He feels much better, Atty. Good work.”

  I sighed and would have sat right then if there had been a chair.

  “Atty might want some water,” Matt said, still holding me up.

  “Yes. That would be good.” My throat was dry, probably more from stress than anything else.

  “I’m going to get her some water and take her home, Martha, unless you still need her.”

  “No, I think it’s OK. Go ahead and take her.”

  We stopped at the reserve for a moment, and Matt told Cindy I’d dropped my wallet outside somewhere. She would have wondered why we had come back. He asked her to look in the building while we searched the back. The rescue had left me weak. Matt could tell, and I was glad he had taken me there instead of offering to transfer from him again. Maybe he could tell I needed more than he could give. The goats were nearest, so I went to their pen and transferred more energy.

  “You’re tired,” Matt said as we got back to the house.

  “I’m OK. Just emotionally tired, you know?”

  “Yeah, that must have really drained you.”

  “It did, but I’m OK. It worked!”

  “Yes, it did. You were great, Atty.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Weird how many kangaroos are getting hit lately.”

  “You think? The way Martha talks I’d guess it happens all the time.”

  “I suppose. Maybe it’s just ’cause it’s winter. I haven’t been here long enough to know much about it, I guess.”

  I nodded and followed him to the living room before collapsing on a sofa. We stayed talking for a while. He wanted to know how it felt to transfer out to something instead of in. Then he told me how he’d felt when he was first able to transfer.

  “I’d been expecting it, but it still made an impression. When I told my mother, her expression made me think she’d just started breathing after holding her breath for a long time.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Almost 18.”

  “So you’ve only been like this for a short while? I don’t know why I think of you as being like your brothers, like you’ve been transferring forever.”

  He laughed at that. “It must be so strange for you, coming into our world.”

  “It is,” I said and I laughed too.

  “I don’t have anywhere near the control that my brothers have. My shield drops at unexpected moments and sometimes I take energy when I don’t mean to.”

  I laughed, thinking of all the nights he was not home. “I can see how that could be a problem for you.”

  “That laugh makes me think you’re not seriously worried about my problems,” he teased.

  “I’m sure they’re fun problems,” I said, raising my eyebrows at him.

  “I get the feeling we’re not thinking of the same problematic moments, Atty,” he said and laughed again.

  “Ben’s told me all about why Durand lose control of their shields. Considering your choice of recreational activities, I’d guess taking energy could get you into trouble.”

  “You’re confusing me, At
ty,” he said.

  “Come on, Matt. How many girls throw themselves at you on a regular basis? You’re rarely home at night. What do you think I’m talking about?”

  He finally caught on to what I was implying. “Atty, I would never do that with a human. Not anymore anyway.”

  “What?”

  “I haven’t done that since before I could transfer. It would be dangerous for someone as unstable as me to be with a human.”

  “Seriously? Then you have a Durand girlfriend you never bring home, right?”

  “No. No girlfriend.”

  I couldn’t do anything but stare for a moment. What the heck was he doing all those nights he was out if he wasn’t with a girl?

  “So when do you drop your guard then?”

  “Mostly at random, actually. Though I’ve noticed it’s worse when something surprising happens.”

  “And you drop enough for someone to take from you?” I asked.

  “Yup. Luckily, so far, no one has. It annoys my father quite a bit though.”

  “I should probably watch out for that. I wouldn’t want to get surprised and lose control.”

  “I don’t think you will, Atty. You have amazing control.”

  “I’ve heard that before, but I’m still not sure if I believe it.”

  “Believe it. We can all feel it. All my brothers have mentioned it at some point or another. And my father loves pointing it out to me all the time.”

  “Really? Sorry.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “Wow.” I pondered what he’d said for a moment. I had assumed my control was a normal thing. Ben seemed to be better at it than me, but I suppose that was because he was much older. Maybe he hadn’t always been like that. Eventually we started talking again, but I was getting tired. I excused myself and went to bed early. I would need to feel well if I was going to help at the reserve again the next day.

  Chapter 27

  When we got to the reserve the next morning, Lynn said that something was wrong with one of the goats. It was sluggish and looked ill. She had called Martha, but it was going to be a while before she could make it. Matt told her we’d go check on it and let her know if it was better. She was busy in the office, so she didn’t follow us. When we got there, we could tell immediately which animal she had meant. I was hesitant to touch it, but Matt convinced me to try giving it a boost, just to see if it helped until Martha arrived. It seemed to work. The animal got up and looked like if nothing was wrong anymore.