Atancia

by Figueiro, Wren

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were the type who can’t catch a feather flying in front of her nose!”

  “Hey!” I yelled indignantly and smacked him with the sweatshirt again.

  He put his hands up, still on his knees in front of me and begged for mercy. I got on my knees and shoved him on the shoulder. “Fine. I forgive you. But no more comments on my lack of athletic ability.”

  He stopped giggling and crossed his heart, whispering, “I promise.”

  At that moment, I realized we were way too close. We were both on our knees facing each other, our noses mere inches apart. I took a deep breath and was consumed by his scent. It was a mix of cedar and ginger with the comfort of nutmeg hiding subtly underneath. It complemented his warm, caramel eyes. He’d become very still, those eyes locked on mine. We held that position for a second too long, a feeling too intense. My heart was pounding in my ears, and I couldn’t think. A voice at the door made us both jump and sit back.

  “Hey, what are you two up to?” asked Javed, his tone suspicious.

  We both flinched and yelled “Nothing!” at the same time.

  “We were watching a movie,” elaborated Matt, not missing his brother’s dubious expression.

  “Are you sure? ’Cause it looked like you were about to make out,” Javed said blatantly.

  “Of course not!” exclaimed Matt. “Watch,” he instructed before turning to me.

  “Did I touch you, Atty?”

  “No!” I responded.

  Javed didn’t look convinced. He understood that Matt would know how to ask the questions that would get him the desired answer. “Ask her if she wanted you to touch her, Matt.”

  Matt looked from Javed to me. I must have been blushing redder than a cherry. He turned back to Javed and said, “That’s not a question to which I want to know the answer, Javed.”

  “Then be careful, little brother. Ben is only rainbows and sunshine to people on his good side. There’s a reason why he’s Father’s favored son.” Javed switched his gaze from Matt to me before nodding and walking away.

  “I’m so sorry, Atty! If he says anything to Ben, I’ll explain it all. I’ll tell him it was my fault and that nothing happened.” Matt said as I stood up to get out of the room. I didn’t want to get caught there again, even if nothing was happening.

  “No, it’s not your fault Matt. Don’t worry. Thank you for not asking.” What else could I say? There was no way for me to explain why all of that had been my fault. I shouldn’t have been hanging out with him alone, not when I knew how he made me feel. It was wrong. I wasn’t about to drag him down into my confusion. He probably wasn’t even into me the way that I was into him. I said bye and went to be alone in my room.

  Chapter 30

  By the time Ben got home, I had decided I needed to get away from Matt for a while. I loved Ben, and I didn’t want a silly infatuation to mess up our relationship. I asked him if I could go stay in Sydney for a few days.

  “Sure, Atty. We can go stay there for a while. You getting tired of the mountains?”

  “No, but I know I can’t really help anyone for a few days, and I don’t want to just sit around here. I wouldn’t mind walking around the city. Maybe see some more tourist spots or go shopping.”

  “OK, you want to go tomorrow, then? I’ll tell Aldric I won’t be in at the clinic.”

  “Don’t worry, you don’t have to stay with me. I’m a big girl. I’m sure I can get around on my own.”

  At that he laughed. “Atty, I know how good you are with directions,” he teased sarcastically, “but I’d feel much better if I went along. You know it’s not safe for you to be alone. Unless you don’t want me to, but I’d have to at least send Frank with you.”

  “I’d much prefer your company to Frank’s, if you’re going to insist that someone come along.”

  “I am. And I’d much prefer you spend your time with me than Frank, so it’s settled. I’ll tell Aldric.”

  By noon the next day, we were standing in a bamboo forest in the middle of Sydney. High-rises towered beyond the tall, thin reeds.

  “You like it?” asked Ben.

  “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

  We were wandering through a Chinese garden tucked into the city. We’d already passed lotus ponds and beautiful pavilions before making our way into the bamboo. Light flickered all around as it snuck through the swaying reeds. Some of the leaves were dry and they crackled as the breeze moved through them.

  “So people come here to unwind?” I asked.

  “Yeah and to just feel like they’re surrounded by nature, even in a city as big as this.”

  “I can understand the attraction.”

  He had been standing just a pace away from me facing the bamboo, but he turned to look at me. The scattered light danced off his clear eyes, making them sparkle. He raised his hand softly to my cheek and urged me closer.

  “Yeah, me too,” he said before gently kissing me on the lips. The combination of his touch and the breeze through my hair gave me such a serene feeling that I couldn’t have thought of a single problem I might be facing. This was exactly why I had wanted to get away from the mountains for a while. I moved closer to him and ran my hands through his hair as we kept kissing. We only stopped because we could feel people walking nearer behind us.

  “I’m thinking I like your idea of getting away from my family for a while,” Ben said as he took my hand to lead me out of the forest and back onto the pathway.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I have no problems with your family.”

  “I know, but when we’re together—alone—I feel so much more relaxed with you. And you definitely seem more relaxed with me.”

  “I guess I just feel less self-conscious when I know we have privacy.”

  “How about a little more privacy then?” he said, and I knew we were heading back to his apartment.

  The three days we spent in Sydney were just what I had needed. I was able to refocus on Ben. Being alone with him reminded me of why I loved him so much. He made me feel adored; I couldn’t imagine anyone else loving me so completely.

  We had stayed an extra day than what I needed to make my energy compatible to humans, so as we drove back I told Ben we could pass by the clinic. He said he didn’t want me going back until at least the next day, and I didn’t argue. I was feeling too good to worry about anything.

  It turned out that if it was just Matt I had wanted to get away from I needn’t have left. When we got to the house, Julian said Matt had decided to go to his own apartment in Sydney. His father had gotten him a place close to the university, and he wanted to check out the area and decide what he was going to do about school. I wondered if that was the real reason. I also wondered if we had been within a mile of each other, and he had felt me.

  “Guess you’re stuck just hanging out with me now,” Ben said bringing my attention back to him. He really was all I could ask for.

  “Sounds perfect to me,” I replied and gave him a peck on the lips.

  When we arrived at the clinic the following day, Aldric gave Ben the list of people I could help most. He gave strict instructions, though, that I could only help one person each day I was there and that Ben had to be in the room the whole time to judge whether I needed to stop a transfer. I agreed and was happy to be able to help in whatever way I could. It was slow going. It took me two weeks just to get through four people. I got to know the clinic well and no longer got lost trying to find a ward if Ben wasn’t leading.

  It worried me that I hadn’t been able to help any of the children yet, but Ben said a few of them were coming up. I looked at the names and walked through the pediatric ward one day after finishing a transfer. Ben was with Aldric and had made me swear not to transfer to anyone else if he let me wander on my own. I found swearing a bit excessive, but I did it to appease him and headed out.

  As I walked by each of the children’s rooms, I made an inventory of how each one felt. A few definitel
y needed more help than others. I didn’t linger though because most had their parents with them, and I didn’t want to be asked any questions. I wasn’t a nurse or anything and it would look weird for a random person to be walking around. As I was leaving the ward, I got caught by the gaze of that elderly woman again, the one who had stared at me the first day I came. I assumed that the little girl inside must be her granddaughter. The door to the room was open, leaving a clear view inside. If you were just a casual observer, the little girl looked like she was resting calmly, but I could feel her. She was not doing well. When I saw the woman looking at me, I stopped walking; it was as if she had trapped me with her eyes.

  “Hello,” I said weakly.

  “You don’t work here,” the old woman said.

  “No, I’m just a volunteer,” I replied figuring I needed some reason for walking around.

  “Oh, I see. You’ve been here before, but you’re too young to be a doctor.”

  “Yes, I guess I am.”

  “You going to become one?”

  I hadn’t really thought about that. Maybe it wouldn’t be a horrible idea. I just responded, “Maybe.”

  “Come closer.”

  I walked into the room then, trying to think of what I would say if she asked more about why I was volunteering and what I did.

  “I’m Velma.”

  “I’m Atty,” I said but that felt informal when talking to this woman so I added, “Atancia.”

  “Of course,” she replied with a quiet laugh, as if she already knew. She pointed at the bed and said, “That’s my granddaughter, Hillary.”

  “Nice to meet you. You’ve been here a while.”

  “Yes. It seems very long, though not long enough.”

  I couldn’t think of a response.

  “You’re not from here, Atancia,” she stated.

  “No. I’m not. My accent give me away?” I asked, smiling a bit so she wouldn’t think I was bothered by it.

  “Does mine?”

  I actually couldn’t tell where her accent was from, though it was definitely not Australian. I smiled again.

  “I guess we’re both foreigners hoping to find what we need here,” she said.

  I nodded. Before I had to think of anything else to say, my phone vibrated and I excused myself.

  “I will talk to you soon, Atancia,” Velma said as I walked out of the room.

  My phone had a text from Ben telling me he was ready to go. I headed for the front of the clinic and waited a few minutes before he arrived, and we walked to the car together. I didn’t mention Velma to him, though I wasn’t entirely sure why.

  Another week passed, another pair of people helped. I felt as if there were others who could have used it more, but Aldric insisted that the order of his list was correct, and I didn’t want to upset him or Ben. I wanted them to let me keep helping whomever I could. I found myself passing by the pediatric ward a lot. I didn’t go in though, only felt from the corridor. I didn’t want Velma to see me, and I could feel that she was always there when I passed. I didn’t know if maybe she went home at night.

  One day, as I was doing my usual sneaking by, I felt her coming in my direction and started walking away. She turned the corner too quickly for me and called out my name. I had to stop.

  “Atancia, I wonder if you would take a walk with me in the courtyard. Hillary’s asleep, and I could really use some fresh air. If you’re not busy with your volunteer work that is.”

  “Of course not. I can walk with you.” I hadn’t been able to come up with an excuse quickly enough and anyway, I needed some fresh air myself. Feeling the energy inside that building could get a bit overwhelming.

  We walked outside and started a circuit around the path of the courtyard. It was very prettily landscaped with bushes and flowers framing the walkways and giving the feeling of privacy as you wandered by.

  “How’s Hillary?” I asked.

  “Not well. She seems to get weaker every day, and the doctors can’t help. I don’t know how much longer she has.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault,” she said with a small laugh.

  “I know, but I am sad for you just the same.”

  “Thank you, dear.”

  We walked a little deeper into the courtyard. There wasn’t anyone around; everyone seemed to have stayed by the benches near the entrance to the building.

  “Do you know what your name means, Atancia?”

  It seemed a really odd question, out of the blue, but I answered. “No. I tried looking it up a few times when I was younger, but I could never find it in any of the name websites I searched.”

  “I wouldn’t think so, it’s not very common. It’s actually a short form of another name. A Greek word that means ‘immortal.’”

  At that my heart jumped. Why would she know that? “Really? I had no idea. Did you know someone with the name?”

  “No. I’m just familiar with it. I like studying languages; Greek was one of my favorites.”

  “Oh.” Maybe it was just that. She knew the language so she understood the name. I was still startled though. “Do you mind if we walk back? I don’t want to get caught ignoring my duties.”

  “Not at all. I wouldn’t want Hillary to wake up without me.”

  That afternoon as Ben and I were driving home, I asked, “Ben, do you speak many languages?”

  “What do you mean by many?” he asked, a smug smile on his face telling me it must be a lot.

  “More than five?”

  He laughed. “Yes. More than five.”

  “Which ones?”

  “You want me to list them all?”

  “Well, the ones I have heard of.”

  “English, obviously. French, Italian, German, Greek, Spanish, Russian, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Farsi, Chamorro …”

  I cut him off, “Who speaks Chamorro?”

  “The natives of Guam.”

  “Why would you put that in the list of ones I might have heard of?”

  “I wanted to see if you were still paying attention or if I could stop listing.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “Of course I was listening! Never mind though, I can see it’s a long list.”

  “What made you ask?”

  Should I tell him I wanted to see if he knew what my name meant? I decided to hedge for a moment; it would be a really weird question. “It just seems like there’s people from all over at the clinic, and I wondered if you guys understood them all or if you had translators or something.”

  “No need for translators. Julian speaks more than 40 languages and those he doesn’t Aldric and Javed fill in.”

  I almost choked on spit again. “Julian speaks more than 40 languages?”

  “He’s old.”

  I started to laugh so hard I forgot why I had brought it up.

  Chapter 31

  A few days later I was surprised when Ben told me it would be all right for me to go to the clinic by myself, well with Frank driving but without Ben acting as my personal energy meter. “You’ve been doing really well, and I didn’t mean to imply I didn’t trust you; I was just worried you were a bit overwhelmed.”

  “I know, don’t worry. Thanks for looking out for me.”

  “Of course.”

  “So where are you going to be now that you’re not babysitting me?”

  “Actually, I’m going to be traveling again. Just a little. We’re opening a hospice, and I need to find some things we need for it.”

  “A hospice?”

  “Yes, for poor and homeless people. We want them to have some place to finish their lives comfortably.”

  My boyfriend was a saint!

  “Wow. OK. Well, I’m sure I’ll be fine with Frank. Aldric will still let me know who’s next?”

  “Yes, he’s not going anywhere right now. He’ll be at the clinic if you need him.”

  “And the others?” I wanted to find out about one brother in particular, just to know he was doing OK
, but I didn’t want to be obvious about it.

  “Julian and Javed are going to be coming and going like always. Don’t worry, I’ve already warned them not to sneak up on you when you’re home,” he said and laughed. I guess their favorite surprise sneak target wasn’t around, and I wasn’t as much fun. Ben didn’t mention Matt, so I decided not to ask about him.

  Soon Ben was off in search of who knew what for the hospice, and I had just gotten the name of my next transfer from Aldric. I was walking toward the room when I bumped into Velma in the hallway.

  “Good morning, Atancia. How are you?” she asked.

  “I’m well, thanks. How’s Hillary?”

  “Holding on. I was wondering if I could speak to you about her actually. Would you mind coming with me to get some breakfast?”

  “Well, actually, I’m supposed to be working on something right now.”

  “Oh, I know. But I also know you’ll want to hear what I need to tell you. Your work can wait a little while.”

  That made me anxious again. What did she mean that she knew? The woman was either very observant or very crazy. I thought maybe I should find out which, though Ben would probably have an attack if I decided to go with her. “Are you going down to the cafeteria?”

  “Actually, I was going to head to the café about a block from here.”

  “OK.” I followed her out of the clinic, wondering if Aldric would feel me leave and call Ben. Aldric didn’t have the range that Ben did, though, since they shared a mother not a father. Maybe he couldn’t feel me beyond a few corridors in this large building just like I couldn’t feel anyone who wasn’t nearby. If Ben called, I’d just tell him I was out for breakfast. He’d probably make Frank find me, but it shouldn’t be a big deal.

  “My daughter, Madeline, was able to fly in yesterday to be with Hillary so that I can take a break sometimes,” Velma explained as we neared the café.

  “She’s Hillary’s mother?”

  “No, her aunt. Hillary’s mother passed away shortly after Hillary was born.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said and she just nodded.

  We walked into the restaurant and sat in a booth in the back. Velma ordered coffee and toast, and I asked for a muffin.