Guardian
Page 6
As for D’Alerian, he’d been the Dream-Hunter Noir had tortured and killed to find out that Solin had been the one who hid the key in the world of man. Bloody bastard for not keeping his mouth shut. And in the end what had it gotten him?
A slow and painful death.
Madoc pushed himself upright and crossed his arms over his chest. Annoyed, he let out one feral breath. “Fine. I swear on the River Styx that I won’t destroy the key. Now where is it?”
Solin swallowed as another wave of pain ripped through him. He blamed himself for this. He should have known what would happen. But it was too late now to focus on what should have and could have been done.
They had to fight and fight hard.
“It’s currently in the hands of Noir’s guardian.”
CHAPTER 6
Lydia paused as the demon reappeared in the room with her. Even though he stood as proud and fierce as he always did, she saw the shame and self-loathing in his icy blue eyes before he blinked and averted his gaze, then slowly limped to his desk.
As he sat down in the ornately carved chair, she started to ask him if he was all right, but didn’t want to wound his pride any worse than it already appeared to be. There was no need to ask that when she could already tell he was embarrassed and upset.
And it was painfully obvious that he wasn’t all right. He was hurting and she didn’t mean the physical pain of his injuries. An air of hopeless despair, and utter grief and sadness clung to him. She’d never seen anything like it. Not even in nightmares.
Without a word, he carefully wiped at the fresh blood trickling from the corner of his nose and swollen mouth. There was more blood from his ear, running down his neck in a bright red stripe that matched his makeup. The fact that he ignored it completely told her just how often this happened to him. He no longer reacted to it.
For some reason she couldn’t name, that image of him sitting there, looking so lost and yet fierce, touched a part of her heart and made her ache for him as if it were her own pain.
He wore a mask of tough, unshakable power and yet …
She didn’t see the demon’s painted-on face right now. She only saw the man who hid himself behind it. And even though they were enemies, she wanted to soothe that side of him.
Maybe, just maybe, if she could reach it, he might help her and Solin. The gods knew he had no reason to side with Noir. Not when the bastard abused him so.
There was a flesh and blood man inside his soul. One in eternal pain. And having been wounded and orphaned in a world that was suspicious of and angry at her kind, and hateful beyond belief, she understood the need to draw inward and hide. The proclivity to strike out and hurt them before they hurt her.
It was a survivor’s instinct. A fighter’s way.
But for Solin and his love, she wouldn’t have been any better or kinder than the demon was. There was no telling what she would have become ultimately.
One person could make such a difference in someone’s life. Either good or bad. With their actions and words, a single individual had the power to save or destroy another.
She’d been so lucky. Solin had appeared when she needed him and taken away her pain. He’d taught her to laugh again and to love, even when her past told her to keep her heart closed.
But the demon …
He didn’t have a Solin to hold him and tell him that everything would be all right. That he would kill anyone who harmed him, and protect him no matter the threat. A Solin who promised him that in time the pain of the past would fade to a dull ache and that he would learn to love and laugh again.
Solin had been her greatest gift.
Instead, too many had attacked this demon and tried to destroy him, and they had failed.
Perhaps it was time someone tried another tactic besides violence. One he might not be able to defend against.
She crossed halfway to where he sat, afraid to get too close lest he put his defenses in place and repel her. “What’s your name?”
Licking at the cut on his lip, he furrowed his brow as he finally turned his attention to her. “Excuse me?”
So the beast had manners after all. It was refreshing to see them.
“Your name. What is it?”
Seth sat in silence as he pondered how to answer what should be a simple thing. No one other than Azura’s servant, Jaden, had used his given name since he’d left the human realm.
To his face—whenever he wasn’t pinned down and unable to strike back—the demons called him Guardian or Master. Noir and Azura only called him by insults or Slave, so much so that he wasn’t even sure if they knew his name.
Bastard was probably the most common or least offensive epitaph he bore.
Still …
Why would she want to know his name when no one else ever had? Not even Jaden had asked. He’d merely plucked it out of Seth’s head, without his permission, the first time they met.
Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it on her lips. A part of him was even afraid of that small intimacy and what it might do to him. No good could come of her calling him by name.
None.
“Why do you want to know it?”
Lydia sighed wearily. “You are ever suspicious of everything. Are you really that afraid of me? What in the name of Olympus could I, as small as I am, do to you?”
She could weaken him, and here, in this hell where he was forced to live, that could get him hurt a lot worse. To care about anything or anyone …
Those were the most lethal of weapons. It was exactly why he was holding her.
To weaken and control Solin.
I will never be such a fool. Not for anyone or anything.
He’d come into this world alone and alone he would forever remain.
“I’m not afraid of you, woman,” he sneered. “I fear nothing.” How could he? His entire life was nightmare after nightmare. If he feared something, it was used against him.
So any fear he might have once held had been purged centuries ago.
Now …
He was empty at best and furious at worst. Those were the only two emotions he had. The only two he was capable of understanding anymore.
Her topaz eyes filled with sadness, she shook her head. “Exchanging names is what people do when they meet.”
“Yes, but I’m not a…” he stopped just short of saying “person.” They had long ago stripped that last bit of dignity out of him. He didn’t know what he was anymore. Not really. But she didn’t need to know that either.
“You’re not what?” she asked after a minute.
“Human.”
Lydia sensed that that wasn’t what he’d started to say. “But you do have a name, don’t you?”
He nodded. “You may call me Master.”
Fire burned bright in her eyes as she curled her lip derisively. “I call no man Master. Ever. And that includes you, for the record, buster. So get over yourself. Gah! I can’t believe the nerve of you.”
Those words angered him. “Are you mocking me?”
Lydia seethed at his ridiculous question. “Aren’t you mocking me?”
He actually managed to appear stunned by that. Several other emotions she couldn’t identify flickered over his features as more blood trickled from his nose. Absently, he wiped it away before he spoke again. “How so?”
She closed the distance between them, wanting to strangle him for it. Was he really that dense? “Telling me to call you Master? What kind of bullshit is that? No one owns me and they damn sure don’t control me.”
Her anger didn’t seem to faze him at all. Of course, he lived and served Noir who, she’d been told, lived in a state of constant PMS. He was probably immune to any form of heated words.
“Fine then,” he said in a calmer tone. “Call me Guardian.”
She made a deep sound of disgust. Like that was any better? Good grief. Was that really the only choice she had? Master or Guardian?
She shook her head at him. “Your mother nam
ed you Guardian? Really? She must not have thought much of you for that.” She’d meant it as a joking barb, but he went ramrod stiff as pain flared deep in his eyes—something that told her she’d unintentionally struck a nerve.
Crap …
“I’m sorry, Guardian. I didn’t mean anything by that.” She reached out to touch him.
He shot to his feet and stepped back so fast, he almost tripped over his chair. “Don’t touch me.” Those snarled, angry words came out like rapid gunfire.
She balled her hand into a fist as she saw a huge, fresh, ugly bruise on his cheek through the white makeup. It reminded her of all the others marring his flesh—the bite marks she’d seen on his chest, thighs, and neck. And it was then she fully understood his secret.
His true pain.
“Has anyone ever given you a touch that didn’t cause you pain?”
Seth didn’t move as her question slapped him hard in the face. But the most painful of all was the harsh truth. Once, a long time ago, he’d lived like a normal person. He’d had people he thought loved him. A family who said he was a part of them.
But that had been a cruel lie. He’d have been far better off without knowing their fake kindness. All that had done was show him what he was missing. Show him what other people took for granted.
Show him what he was unworthy of having.
It doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as I, never mind share my name! How dare you name such a wretch after me. If you think by whelping it you would endear yourself to me, think again.
With his father’s words ringing in his ears, Seth started away from her.
But she stepped in front of him, cutting off his retreat. Before he realized her intent, she laid a gentle hand on his cheek that still burned from Noir’s fist. The tenderness of it shocked him.
Closing his eyes, he savored the warmth of her touch, and tried to imagine a life where such a thing wasn’t a rarity. But the truth wouldn’t let him have even that much comfort. It shouted angrily in his head, reminding him of who and what he was.
Who could ever love a mongrel like you?
You’re disgusting. Pathetic.
Worthless.
Get out of my sight, wretch, before I vomit. Even when he pleased Azura or a she-demon, they threw him out of bed the minute they were finished with him. He was only a tool to pacify a bodily urge.
Nothing more.
He mattered to no one and no one mattered to him.
Seth opened his eyes to see her staring up at him with kindness burning bright in her topaz gaze.
That lie slammed into his stomach with the force of Noir putting him through a wall. She didn’t give a single shit about him and he knew it.
Solin was the one she loved. He was the one she’d come here to save.
A woman like her would never risk her life to save something like him.
Rage tore through him as he realized her ruse. He knew what she was trying to do and he hated her for it.
He snatched her hand away from his face. “What kind of fool do you take me for?”
She actually managed to look shocked. “I don’t understand.”
Yeah, right. She knew and she was trying to play him. To weaken him. “I’m nothing to you, but an enemy to get past. Don’t insult either of us by pretending otherwise.”
Lydia winced as his grip tightened on her wrist and he dragged her toward his bed. Panic swelled inside her as she feared his intent.
She started to fight him, until she realized he wasn’t going to attack her. Rather he manifested a chain that ran from the bedpost to her ankle.
His eyes glittered like ice as he released her and then returned to his desk.
“You’re just going to leave me chained here?”
“Yes.” He opened his laptop.
“Really?”
He refused to look at her. “Is that not what I said?” He started typing something.
She was flabbergasted by his overreaction to a simple question. “Are you honestly that afraid of a touch?”
Turning his head, he glared at her over his shoulder. “I told you, I fear nothing.”
But she knew better. He wouldn’t give her his name. He wouldn’t let her see his real face or offer him comfort of any sort …
“You can lie to yourself all you want to, Guardian. I know the truth about you.”
A deep scowl lined his brow. “What truth?”
“You fear people. Why else would you live like this?”
He slammed his hands down on his desk with enough force that it made her jump, and it lifted the laptop a good inch before it clamored down and landed sideways on the desk.
“I don’t fear people,” he said between his clenched teeth. “I fucking hate them.” She could taste the venom he spat out with that one word. “Do you understand? They lie. They steal. They cheat and deceive. There is absolutely nothing about them that I can stand … And if you don’t leave me alone, I’m going to take your voice away again.”
A part of her was tempted to test him on that, but the saner part of herself won out.
He wasn’t one to bluff.
Fine. Whatever. Let him stew in his misery. It didn’t really concern her anyway.
Not like I have to deal with you much longer. Sooner or later, Solin would free her. She knew it.
With nothing else to do, she sat on the bed and watched as he worked on whatever it was he had on his laptop. She tilted her head as minutes dragged by and he hit the keys so hard, she was rather surprised it didn’t lock up or break.
It was woefully obvious that he had no idea what he was doing, and he became more agitated by the second. Boy, did she understand that. As the old saying went, a TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
And for some reason she couldn’t name, she felt a smug satisfaction over it.
Good. I hope you stew in frustration until you’re pruny from it.
That’d teach him to be nicer to her.
Seth tried to focus on his research, but all he really noticed was the faint sound of Lydia’s breathing. Every time she made the smallest move, his body reacted to it against his wishes.
Why had she touched him? Between that and his kiss when he’d given her her voice, he’d screwed himself. Now he couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have sex with a woman and not a demon.
Were all non-demonic women like Lydia? Did they smell that good? Feel so soft?
Don’t look at her.
He heard his inner sanity and yet he couldn’t resist glancing over his shoulder to catch her staring at his back from where she sat cross-legged on his bed. With her elbows braced on her knees, she rested her chin on her folded hands. He had no idea why he found that adorable, but he did.
“What are you doing?” he asked her.
“Trying to read through your big head.”
“Why?”
She gave him a droll look. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I’m bored out of my friggin’ mind and there’s really nothing else to do since I’m not sleepy. What do you do for entertainment? Other than surf online porn, that is.”
“Porn?” She used a lot of words he didn’t have a definition for.
“You know? Pornography? Naked women showing off their happy places to lonely men who can’t get dates? Or, in your case, guys who live under rocks and never get to see a normal woman’s happy place.”
He was both appalled and intrigued by what she described. Did women really do such a thing? And you could actually see it?
Of course, during his brief time in the human realm, people had been very open sexually. Obviously, they still were.
“I’m not surfing porn.” He didn’t realize he could do that, but now that she brought it up …
Where would he go to find it? He hadn’t had the computer long. Only a little more than a week. He wouldn’t have even known they existed but for one of the slug demons who’d mentioned it while he’d been questioning Solin.
The rest of it, though …
Some special kind of sadistic demon must have invented this damn thing.
But Lydia seemed to know how to work it. “Do you…”
Don’t ask. Don’t do it.
She arched a brow at him. “What?”
He hesitated. He’d stopped asking others for help a long time ago. Either he was ignored, or humiliated over it. It was a no-win situation for him.
And he’d been kicked in his teeth and insulted enough for one day. “Never mind.”
A knowing light sparkled in her eyes. His cock jerked at that playful expression.
“You want me to help you, don’t you?”
Yes. But he’d never admit that. “I can figure it out on my own.”
She tsked at him. “It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help when you need it. Rather, it’s a strong man who knows and acknowledges his limitations.”
And it was a fool who exposed himself to ridicule. “Do you mind? I need to concentrate.” He turned away from her.
Lydia wanted desperately to tell him where to shove that laptop. But the almost boyish shyness about him kept her from being hostile.
He’d started to reach out to her and then something had made him pull back.
Something? Hell, girl, you’ve seen his body. It wasn’t an intangible thing that reeled him in. It was years of abuse that had taught him to stay inside himself.
There came a point in everyone’s life when they’d been slapped too many times for reaching out. After a few concussions, they stopped doing it. She understood that better than most.
“Guardian?”
A tic started in his jaw as he turned toward her with a scowl so fearsomely evil, she wondered if it was one he’d practiced in a mirror to scare the other demons of this place.
Good thing she didn’t scare easily.
Instead, she smiled at him. “Computers are extremely annoying and hard to operate if you’re not used to them. Sometimes even if you are. If you’ll let me go, I don’t mind helping you do whatever it is you’re trying to do.” She jiggled the chain expectantly.